about coffee dates

[la-migra-is-after-me]

Wow there sure are alot about coffee dates........

ok just out of curiosity, how many of you HAVE had success asking girls out on coffee dates? what would be a good way of asking for one during convo? I have so far asked two girls out, one (from email) didn't respond, and the other (phone) gave me the old "call me that day and see" so i said that i'd call her back......when i did i never got a hold of her again.

now i have heard that if u haven't had success asking a girl out one way then do it another...so those from san francisco/daly city, any tips, especially since i have no car? i was gonna ask this other girl out for coffee, but ill tell u about that in a minute....so any suggesting about another "casual" get together, in te city with no car (in case your wondering i tottaled my car in 2000 and my parents won't let me borrow either of thier cars b/c they are really cautious about it)..also what if ur asking out a girl under 18, like one still in h.s (only 17 or 18, im 23)? what kind of get together would be good?

ok here's how the convo went, if u have any opinios or advice feel free to give it:

me: hello is --- there?

her: yes this is her

me: this is sf police dept., calling regarding the kidnapping case your are involved in

her: lol who is this?

me: its ---- remember we met in school?

her: yeah.....

me: what are u doing?

her: im in my dad's office

me: oh oops should i call later

her: ILL CALL U (i think this is a sign)

me: no ill call u tomorrow, what time are u out of school so i don't call while your in class, b/c i don't want u reaching through the phone and knocking me out

her: lol anytime is fine

me: so 3 in the morning u won't get mad (smiling)

her: lol no its cool

me: ok ill call tomorrow

her: ok

me: ok bye

her: ok bye

how did it go? any suggestions? i dont usually analyze, i learn from my mistakes and make sure i don't make them again, and i think i need improvement, but i just wanted ur thoughts

thanks
l-m-i-a-m

 

[Player_Supreme]

Me: Barbie, I've really enjoyed talking to you. Let's do coffee sometime soon.
Barbie: Ok, when is good for you.
Me: Well why don't you put your number in my cell phone and I will give you a call and set it ...handing her the phone while I say this.

end

 

[ZeeOwl]

First of all, forget coffee dates with high-school girls. They're still in teeny-bopper mode. They may look like women, but inside they're still kids. Action dates are the way to go with this age group; mini-putt, bowling, pool,arcade if she likes video-games.

Coffee dates are for adults, read: college age and up. Before that, the vast majority of girls are not mature enough to want, or know how to handle meaningful conversation, which is what you do on a coffee date.

Now back to your question, I've had quite a lot of success getting coffee dates over the last few months. I've been using the internet to find prospects. Now a caveat; I think the internet is a great way to meet women for the 25+ crowd, if you're a least interested in an eventual LTR, because that's mostly what you'll find there. If you don't fit this profile, you probably won't find it that great. Check out my latest field reports to see how typical encounters go:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38382
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38587
Keep in mind that these prospects are mature women (the 1st is 30, the 2nd 34), so don't go expecting this kind of behavior from a 17-year-old. If you're in college, you're surrounded by HBs 24/7, so there's not much point to looking to the internet anyway. I've yet to do any cold pickups (I did maybe 2 in my life, the last one was 6 years ago lol), I'm still in Week 2 of DJ Boot Camp. But if you're going that route, Player_Supreme's approach sounds like gold.

No car at your age is a major handicap of course. Kinda stamps the word "loser" on your forhead. Unless you live in the downtown area of a major city. Girls your age pretty much expect a guy to have a car, it's a status and "looking adult" thing. Get a car, it doesn't have to be a fancy one. I paid 2,600$ for the one I'm driving now. It looks OK, clean, no rust, and it works. Is that why you're looking at the high-school ones (they don't expect the car so much)? Because there's major maturity differences between a girl that's 17, and one that's 23. One of my current prospects is 23, and she thinks in a way that's completely different from a high-school girl. Of course the younger ones are less work, but they're also a lot less interesting. And then you're stuck with sex (in most parts of the US).

About your prospects...
The one from eMail: try again in a few days with something like "Hey, you're not hoping I'm going to chase after you are you? Give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime." If you still don't get a response, next! She's not interested.
The one on the phone: She's not interested. Next! When a woman say's "call me and we'll see", she's not interested. She's either hoping you'll get the hint, or just wants to see if you"ll call and give her an ego boost. Never call a girl that says that, unless she explains to you in great detail why she can't give you an answer right now (ex: doesn't have her work schedule yet). Don't ask, if she's interested, she'll volunteer the info.
The phone convo looks fine.

 

[la-migra-is-after-me]

thanks

thanks for the input, im gonna call her b4 i start work tonight, and see wassup....ill keep u posted, and there are always ore fish in the sea

lmiam

 

[myfriendblu]

Everything Zee said is right on the money. I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but I was the first DJ here to spout on about the coffee date thing. LOL Its cool to see that everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, LOL. Basically, it all comes down to this: Coffee dates are the easiest, quickest and least expensive first date possible that still can be considered a "DJ" type interaction. If your young and dating all the time, which you should, then there is no way you have the time or the money to go on expensive dinner dates or other type of dates 2, 3, 4 or 5 times + a week. Coffee date? 5-6 bucks tops, 10 to 30 minutes tops, as long as you want. get in, get info, get out. It really is as simple as that, once you got your DJ skills down pat.

 

[la-migra-is-after-me]

update of previous post (coffee date)

well....i called the next friday like I said and there was no answer. Then I called yesterday and got her voice mail, i was thinking of leaving one, but since either my mom is online looking for antiques and other stuff, or my bro takes out the phone line so that his friends can't get a hold of him, so it would be impossible for her to get through.But im gonna try one more time next saturday (october 4) and if it doesn't work out, ill wipe my ass with her number and go NEXT!

lmiam

 

[Walden]

Hmmm.

I used to be all about the coffee date , I'd take anyone out for a latte as a matter of course. However a coffee date is pretty weak.

It's like the "least" date a girl can offer, I mean the very best a coffee date can go is that you might get some brush kino as you queue up for your triple venti cappucino.

If I was macking a low IL girl and needed a chance to bust some SS and get her IL up , then maybe I'd invite her for coffee.

But it's a waste t take a medium-high IL chick on a date that can't lead to a kiss close (well , maybe) and immeidately puts you in the nice-guy-LTR-withold-sex holding pattern.

 

[DYDevotee]

Here, I'll give you a hint.

1. It's more fun to do something.

2. Go find something to do, like a gay pride parade, or GreekFest, or something. Coffee dates are so typical and boring, and the lack of a stimulating atmosphere doesn't help anything.

3. Wow, coffee, thats fun alright, as much fun as drinking Gatorade in the library.

4. Don't be lame, do something other than drink coffee, like take her to a ballroom dancing lesson.

a) you'll have your hands all over her dancing.

b) she'll think you're classy for wanting to go dancing, and is she doesn't, she's probably the type who wouldn't enjoy a conversation over coffee.

c) Waltz's are slow enough you'll be able to carry on a conversation.


5. And Finally, don't make me poke you in the eye.

 

[la-migra-is-after-me]

update.....

ok

so i calledt that girl yesterday after SEVERAL rings someone (a guy) answers, now i realize that i should have "manned up" and said something, but i was just like "**** it" and hung up. but earlier that day i was visiting some girl from blockbuster i met earlier in the semester (she goes here, but i never see her, but it turns out that she only goes fridays, and she also goes to another school)

anyway i met her mid-august, rented something, i thought that she looked pretty good, and that since we went to the same school (we are in college in case your wondering) but i never saw her, so i returned the thing i rented and rented another movie since i had store credit, we talked again, and her manager was right there so i decides again getting her number

then yesterday (the same day i called the chick above) i said **** it, went there and got her number. now here's a dilemma: im still having trouble with cold approaches, but i can do them, ive done them before on the bus, streets, library, school, while waiting in line, at work but i feel like i cheated somehow becasue i didn't meet her on the street, hmm i analyze things too much, i know, but it is a success story..oh yeah, yesterday (earlier) i met another chick outside my school, we were talking and someone calls

*dramatic pause* it was her boyfriend! apparently he either saw us talking, or one of his boys did,and he called her and asked who i was, she was like nobody and they talked some more (well ARGUED) and when her friends came (she was waiting for a study group), she got off the phone and i was like "did i get u in trouble"? but i really didn't care if he was gonna whoop my ass over this then let him try she was like, yeah, well no, i dont' know and walked away with her friends...i guess the b/f fear that people have isn't too bad, i mean if u doubt it, then read the above story again...all he did was fight with her, not me, so those of you who are fearful of getting beat up by the jealous b/f she may have, just say **** it and go for it...i did and im still alive..but if a b/f does call, make sure to be aware of your surroundings, "just in case"

oh and i was thinking of taking the blockbuster girl for a game of pool...can any of you think of a pool hall in san francisco, i know alot in daly city, but just in case she's from sf...

thanks for your advice and good luck in the future