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A little tale which says a lot

Fruitbat

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Just something which may amuse.

I have been hitting the gym trying to shed some of the 40 pounds or so I need to get back to fighting weight. So yes, I’m a bit flabby. I’m a big guy anyway so 40lb might not be what it would be on you, but anyhow, I am not at my best. I’m also approaching 40.

So, I live in the inner city and my gym is almost universally university students and under 30s. Some great eye candy. Being married and sporting my wedding ring, of course, it’s looking only for me these days.

However, one of my favourite pastimes is “ignore the hot girls”! I used to do this even when younger. I will NOT be just another random c0ck drooling over some woman. I kind of feel a mix of resentment for them (for making me want to pine for them!) and also like the feeling of self control.

So there is this absolute bombshell at my gym. About 21, I can only say she is amongst the most attractive I’ve ever seen and always turns up in full makeup, hair done etc. I make it a point not to look anywhere near here and keep away. Often, it’s just us in the gym. We seem to go at the same times - very early or just after lunch. It’s a small and intimate gym and not that busy so you often get chatting to folks.

I’ve seen younger dudes try and talk to her and she generally has an air of arrogance. I’ve completely blanked her like a ghost.

Last time, I kind of bumped into her by the lockers as she was in the way (not physically but I couldn’t avoid and interaction with her)

She gives this huge “come on” smile and starts blabbering about how the locker facilities are crap. She’s super, super friendly.

I doubt I could hold on to a woman like that even if I were single, but I reckon I could have got a number right there.

I was gobsmacked. When I was single that never happened.

Moral of the story is, being indifferent and NGAF is like milk and honey to a hot woman.

Or, perhaps she appreciated me for being the only guy in the gym who wasn’t all over her ass. Perhaps she thought I had some standards of self respect and allowing her to exercise in peace (doubt it given her perfect make up and sexy gym outfits)

Or perhaps she just would have turned it down and just wanted to add me to her gym orbiters.

Anyway, it got me to talking to her. I’d not dream of cheating but it gave me an ego boost. Whatever the weather, this girl could be an intsa model, she was literally gorgeous. Not being like an excited puppy still piqued the interest, I got a better response than guys half my age and 10X my physique.

I have found mid- late 30s is an age a lot of younger women like. I’ve had more opportunity at this age being a bit sloppy than I did at 25 and fit as a flea.

Thought it was worth a share, perhaps anyone suffering from a bit of desperation fever might benefit from this tale
 
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RickTheToad

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Just something which may amuse.

I have been hitting the gym trying to shed some of the 40 pounds or so I need to get back to fighting weight. So yes, I’m a bit flabby. I’m a big guy anyway so 40lb might not be what it would be on you, but anyhow, I am not at my best. I’m also approaching 40.

So, I live in the inner city and my gym is almost universally university students and under 30s. Some great eye candy. Being married and sporting my wedding ring, of course, it’s looking only for me these days.

However, one of my favourite pastimes is “ignore the hot girls”! I used to do this even when younger. I will NOT be just another random c0ck drooling over some woman. I kind of feel a mix of resentment for them (for making me want to pine for them!) and also like the feeling of self control.

So there is this absolute bombshell at my gym. About 21, I can only say she is amongst the most attractive I’ve ever seen and always turns up in full makeup, hair done etc. I make it a point not to look anywhere near here and keep away. Often, it’s just us in the gym. We seem to go at the same times - very early or just after lunch.

I’ve seen younger dudes try and talk to her and she generally has an air of arrogance. I’ve completely blanked her like a ghost.

Last time, I kind of bumped into her by the lockers as she was in the way (not physically but I couldn’t avoid and interaction with her)

She gives this huge “come on” smile and starts blabbering about how the locker facilities are crap. She’s super, super friendly.

I doubt I could hold on to a woman like that even if I were single, but I reckon I could have got a number right there.

I was gobsmacked. When I was single that never happened.

Moral of the story is, being indifferent and NGAF is like milk and honey to a hot woman.

Or, perhaps she appreciated me for being the only guy in the gym who wasn’t all over her ass. Perhaps she thought I had some standards of self respect and allowing her to exercise in peace (doubt it given her perfect make up and sexy gym outfits)

Anyway, it got me to talking to her. I’d not dream of cheating but it gave me an ego boost.

Thought it was worth a share, perhaps anyone suffering from a bit of desperation fever might benefit from this tale
Yes, I do the same when I'm at my MMA gym. All the guys hit on the ladies there, I just ignore. I don't sh!t where I eat. MMA is my main outlet.
 

highSpeed

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Just something which may amuse.

I have been hitting the gym trying to shed some of the 40 pounds or so I need to get back to fighting weight. So yes, I’m a bit flabby. I’m a big guy anyway so 40lb might not be what it would be on you, but anyhow, I am not at my best. I’m also approaching 40.

So, I live in the inner city and my gym is almost universally university students and under 30s. Some great eye candy. Being married and sporting my wedding ring, of course, it’s looking only for me these days.

However, one of my favourite pastimes is “ignore the hot girls”! I used to do this even when younger. I will NOT be just another random c0ck drooling over some woman. I kind of feel a mix of resentment for them (for making me want to pine for them!) and also like the feeling of self control.

So there is this absolute bombshell at my gym. About 21, I can only say she is amongst the most attractive I’ve ever seen and always turns up in full makeup, hair done etc. I make it a point not to look anywhere near here and keep away. Often, it’s just us in the gym. We seem to go at the same times - very early or just after lunch. It’s a small and intimate gym and not that busy so you often get chatting to folks.

I’ve seen younger dudes try and talk to her and she generally has an air of arrogance. I’ve completely blanked her like a ghost.

Last time, I kind of bumped into her by the lockers as she was in the way (not physically but I couldn’t avoid and interaction with her)

She gives this huge “come on” smile and starts blabbering about how the locker facilities are crap. She’s super, super friendly.

I doubt I could hold on to a woman like that even if I were single, but I reckon I could have got a number right there.

I was gobsmacked. When I was single that never happened.

Moral of the story is, being indifferent and NGAF is like milk and honey to a hot woman.

Or, perhaps she appreciated me for being the only guy in the gym who wasn’t all over her ass. Perhaps she thought I had some standards of self respect and allowing her to exercise in peace (doubt it given her perfect make up and sexy gym outfits)

Or perhaps she just would have turned it down and just wanted to add me to her gym orbiters.

Anyway, it got me to talking to her. I’d not dream of cheating but it gave me an ego boost. Whatever the weather, this girl could be an intsa model, she was literally gorgeous. Not being like an excited puppy still piqued the interest, I got a better response than guys half my age and 10X my physique.

I have found mid- late 30s is an age a lot of younger women like. I’ve had more opportunity at this age being a bit sloppy than I did at 25 and fit as a flea.

Thought it was worth a share, perhaps anyone suffering from a bit of desperation fever might benefit from this tale
Seriously, can anyone give any sort of explanation of why this never happens when you are single? It's like the universe is f*cking with you. I had a similar situation happen at the coffee shop the other day. Chick, hot young chick, literally followed me right out of the coffee house on campus and started up a conversation with me. She made a beeline right for me. If I wasn't married and a faculty member? I'd have been after that in a fraction of a second. In that situation, I hold some polite conversation and move on with my day. Clear attempt at getting me to ask for her number, it was literally mine for the taking. But in that situation, I smiled, held some basic conversation and moved on. Was bummed out the entire rest of the day at the missed opportunity.
 

samspade

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Or, perhaps she appreciated me for being the only guy in the gym who wasn’t all over her ass. Perhaps she thought I had some standards of self respect and allowing her to exercise in peace (doubt it given her perfect make up and sexy gym outfits)
It's this, plus you know how to talk to a woman without seeming pathetic; you had a normal interaction with her but with what I'm sure was confidence and game. The gym is a tricky place - bodies are on display, people want to focus...but women certainly dress like they want to be seen even if they don't want to be gawked at and are self-conscious about being judged. I'm the same as you, I focus on the workout, if someone says something, I'll interact, but generally I keep to myself and don't stare in spite of all the tight a$$es in yoga pants. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if gyms were segregated by sex, I'd be totally fine with a male-only gym.
 

glass half full

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^^High speed- I think women want what they can't have, because since you're already with someone you must be a good catch.
And a man by himself comes across to this type of woman as a loser, since they don't have a woman hanging onto his arm.
 

Fruitbat

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I think why this happens is as stated above. If I was single I would have been trying to catch her eye, smile etc. I am def not the guy to win on those methods. She would think “ok, this guy wants it, size him up, make judgement”

You’re going to seek immediate acceptance or rejection. And mainly for girls like her it would be the latter.

As I didn’t force anything like that, I was not forcing anything. Ergo she felt more inclined to be friendly.

I got a PM recently saying I was delusional and this girl was miles out of my league etc. Probably right. But my wife is miles out of my league or so I thought. This league stuff is not helpful.

However, I doubt it meant much, other than by not being a rabid dog on heat a fine woman was unnaturally open with me. Don’t forget too, most the dudes her own age are flat broke. A lot of girls that age like flings with older guys as they get taken for weekends abroad etc and don’t have to eat baked beans in a dope smoke filled flatshare.

Anyhow, my first ever girlfriend was well above my league and I ignored the living daylights out of her at work. I think just treating good liking girls like any other person is a powerful thing, because 99% of men don’t do it. I’m sure if you’re chad you can roll right in, but for anyone else just not be massively fazed is a good start
 

Robert28

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i used to work out with a trainer who trained MLB players in the offseason. His workouts lasted 30-40 mins but were BRUTAL! Litterally the hardest thing I’ve ever done when it comes to workouts. You never stopped the entire time, it was station to station and you had time to drink water as you were on your way to the next station IF it was on the other side of the gym and you were lucky. He had BEAUTIFUL women working out with him but I was the only male he trained because every other make that signed up quit within 3 days. I was so damn tired after working out that the last thing I had on my mind was talking to some woman but they’d stop and watch me workout with him. There wasn’t any shouting or screaming or lifting heavy weight and posing for selfies in the mirror while adjusting your iPod. The women were litterally curious watching us workout because we made every other guy in the gym look like lazy fools just standing around playing with their pecker.
 
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