-A Few Issues-

[VampireKiller]

Hey, I'm new to the don juan center, and have been reading stuff for a few weeks. I have started on the quest to become a Don Juan, but there are a few things I need to clear up, and my situation isn't looking very good

I am 15.5 years old, 5'7 and moderately attractive, however quite skinny (working on it). One problem with myself appearance wise is that I look young for my age. I dress with a bit more syle than your average guy, so I think that tags on a little. Also, I don't really hang out with anyone my age. Most of my friends are 17-19. It's like in my head I don't consider myself 15. Another problem with my age is that I can't drive. If I were to get a girl's phone number and and ask her out on a date...how would I get there. Looking young has a negative impact on my confidence. I see a girl that is, say, 16 and I think to myself: "wow, she is a woman. I am just a little kid. I could never get her. I would be wierd for us going out anyway". I realize I'm no going anywhere with an attitude like this, but I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

Another issue I have is that I go to a relatively small school with for the most part no girls I am interested in. I don't get out too often, and I would have trouble finding girls my age "out" anyway. My standards aren't all that high, but I would refuse to go out with a girl that is an idiot. seriously

I am trying to get into some hobbies so I can have a better life and not be so desperate. So I'm getting a job and a new computer and some equipment so I can produce electronic music.

Please help me out , Its all uphill from here

- VampireKiller

 

[VampireKiller]

also:


I am quite charismatic and have a good personality and am just all arround awesome... most of the time. When I am arround girls I'm interested in I can turn from being really outgoing and stuff like I normal am to acting quite reserved. I have been talking to adult strangers in places and being neurotically outgoing for a long time because its fun somtimes to see how people react. While apparantly JBYing is bad, It would be good for me to be more like me when I'm not really me. But not me is me really anyway. I guess I need to be more consistant. It sucks though because I'm not at all a shy person... just with girls.

Any insight on this?

 

[Turalyon999]

Good job on trying to improve your life, that's the first step. Now to address some of your questions

The easiest way I've found to talk to girls is to assume that they like you, and that they want you to go talk to them. When it comes to talking to a girl, listen to Nike, JUST DO IT. Never be intimidated by women, take them off the pedestal you have them on.

As for your transportation problem, you have parents right...you said you have 17 year old friends. Arrange double dates with your friends.

Small schools are usually easier to find girls in because there are only so many quality guys, and you being the DJ that you are shouldn't have a problem. Trying lowering your standards a bit, you don't have to marry the girl, just go on a date with her.

Idiot girls are annoying, I agree, but they are also usually the most gullible and most easily handled, at least until you master your game. So don't take them out of the running. Who knows, maybe they aren't that stupid, they just act that way to gain acceptance from their peers. I personally know girls who are very intelligent but act stupid because they're afraid of not being in the "in-crowd".

If your as awesome as you claim to be, then the girls should be lining up in no time

 

[VampireKiller]

Thanks for the reply

I accually go to a small "alternative" school because basically I failed too much in the regular school. I chose to go to it myeslf, and I am doing well grades wise. I think that I have now learned my lesson and will go to my normal high school next year. At my school now the male/female ratio is about 10/3. thats ten guys to every 3 females. and 2.75 of those female are a 4 or under. There are a few girls that are hot and cool, but they are like seniors. and I am a sophomore who looks young. I dunno, it just would be kinda wierd. none the less I should most definately try to push all the ladies off thier pedistals. I like the way you put it: "just do it".

So as you can see there is little opportunity for DJing at my current school. Trust me, If I was at my old large school (I think its arround 1000, not sure) I would REALLY be working my game, and being more confident. ever since I changed schools (this semester) I havn't been getting out much to any place where there would be potential for approaching girls. I do have this one girl's phone number from my last school and I think I will call her cause I went to a party 1.5 monthes ago and she was giving me some definate signs. Thats where I guess I would get into the driving issue. Would it really suck to have my mom or dad drive? they would be cool about it. also, most of my friends that drive are not going on many dates anyway. I could say "PLEASE drive me to the movies tonight..." in which case they may one or two times, but every time I want to see a girl (which I can pretty much assure you will not be from my school) I need to get somone to drive me.

I suppose I am having trouble thinking myself as manly rather than a nice guy 'cause I do look pretty young. not THAT young, but young enough that I would be mistaken for a freshman or an 8th grader.

I want to try to think positively and confidently, but I just don't see where I would meet a girl! perhaps I could take some outside of school classes and stuff. Hey! thats a good idea!

Another thing I had a question about is how to approach a girl that is with a few of her friends and try to get a number from her. I suppose a good way to do it would be either to get a wingman or try to befriend one of her friends, although it would not work in many situations.

thanks for your advice,

- VampireKiller (castlevania)

 

[Turalyon999]

How to get a number of a girl with a group friends? The DJ answer to that question, you don't just get one girl's number, you get ALL their numbers.

If you're only 15, nobody(your age at least) is going to expect you to be able to drive yourself, so don't hesitate to ask your 'rents to drive you. It may not look "cool," but since when did us DJ care about looking "cool."

As for your friends not going on dates, I'm sure once they see how successful you are with the ladies that they'll soon be asking you for advice

Definitely call that girl! If she was giving you signs, you probably still have a chance with her.

Good Luck

 

[Eternal]

So what if most of the .25 girls in your school that are above a 4 are seniors? Talk to them anyways. You never know what might happen. Even if things don't work out, you can say to yourself "hey, I talked to a good looking girl! It's not that hard." Once you get back to your old school, you will be able to talk to all the hot girls with minimal fear. From then on, it's smooth sailing.

 

[VampireKiller]

I don't accually have too much trouble just talking to girls. Its just that there is a different way you need to act to construe that you are interested in them. I guess for one I am not used to that, I usually just say funny or interesting things. I HAVE noticed that there is just somthing different about flirting and talking. I don't have too much trouble talking.

Thanks for that advice though. I think I will call that girl today. out of the blue. I think a good line to address that would be "well I was just in the blue so I figured I would give you a call". we may wind up just talking though. and I won't ask her out. How important is it to have a date time and place in mind before you call? I realize that it is weaker to say "are you doing anything this weekend" as apposed to "want to go out with me to (insert place here) on (insert date/time here)? my parents operate fairly well on short notice. I could say to them " are we busy this weekend?" and then just set it up. I know this may sound really really dumb, but I would almost be kinda timid about doing this with my parents 'cause I have never been on a date before.

Any Idea's on this stuff or general tactics for calling her? I once (before I came here) wrote up a list of interesting conversational topics. I know now that I should really try to get her to talk. what are some good ways to show confidence over the phone?

thanks alot for your help

- VampireKiller

 

[VampireKiller]

keep in mind, I am pretty good friends with this girl. I have a sense that I'm not in the friend zone though. What are some good ways to infer that I'm not in the friend zone with her on the phone right off the bat?

thanks

 

[Turalyon999]

First of all, you don't need any excuses for why you call. Simply say "I haven't talked to you in a while" and let it flow from there.

It's pretty crucial to at least have a couple ideas for where you want your date to be, the primary and a back up. Always be prepared, you never know what her schedule may be like. Usually "I'm going to X place, do you want to come" is better than "do you want to go with me to X place" The prior shows that you're going with or without her, the latter implies that your decision to go is based on whether she goes or not. Try to keep the conversation short, and make sure you end the convo, not her. End by asking her out.

There is no "different way you need to act" to show a girl you're interested, just asking for their number tells them that you're interested.

 

[VampireKiller]

Thats a very good point, I shouldn't make excuses. One way I like to see it is "If I don't call what will happen... nothing".

BTW I got her phone number a few months ever before that party, and called her a few times only to be a nice guy *slaps his own forehead*. the way I got it was by asking "do you have a telephone?" to which she replied "yeah..." so I said "WOW! ME TOO! what a coinsidence! hey...uhh.... whats YOUR number?". I suppose this was an afc way to do it but it worked! bad thing is it was kinda making an excuse for asking for it.

now I need to think of a date idea and call her. shouldn't be too hard. yup.

 

[Turalyon999]

LOL

That was not an AFC way to ask her number, that's one of the best lines I've ever heard, perfectly C+F.

Mind if I use it

 

[VampireKiller]

why thank you. that one came to me while...uhh.....trying to come up with a funny way to ask for a phone number. Feel free to use it yourself. if you are regected you can say "jeez, I was just making conversation. it is kindof a coincidence", or if you get it you can say somthing like " good thing you have a phone, because I will want to call you.". its a win-win

(edit: BTW what does c+f mean?)

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by VampireKiller

(edit: BTW what does c+f mean?)

C+F means ****y+Funny.

 

[VampireKiller]

I just called her and about 3 seconds after her mom picked up the phone, I had call waiting, and I couldn't hear her, and it was all messed up, so she hung up. then I when I hung up the phone rung and it was the person calling so i had to take that, THEN I called her back up and spoke to her mom but she had to call me back in a minute, THEN she called me back BUT she was busy with homework that she really needed to get done and had to go in half an hour. But we are both having spring break next week and she said she would call me then. I was going to say "I will call you" but she beat me to it. anyway I am not complaining cause her exact words were "I'll call you on spring break and maybe we will hang out", so I'm not complaining. although it would be better for me to have the power of calling her, I handled our very short convo well and I'm guessing we will go out now. I'm just really glad that I called. thanks alot for telling me to, I almost didn't.

 

[Turalyon999]

Just because she said she would call you, that doesn't mean you can't call her. On the second day of SB you should call her up and say something like "hey I'm going to X place, you wanna come with." Trust me, if she has any IL at all she won't care that you called.

 

[VampireKiller]

I was wondering,

When I go out with her, what are a few ways to make it apparant that this is not a "friends" thing? Should I just tell her on the phone "It's a date then!", and try to get confirmation of this? that's my best idea. We were always pretty good friends in school so I REALLY don't want to get into a "I don't like you that way" situation. Although now that I'm quite a bit less afc than I used to be, it might not even go that way.

Thanks alot

- VampireKiller

 

[VampireKiller]

Bump.

Seriously.

 

[Oxide]

DO NOT SAY U LIKE HER FIRST


ok, here is something u can relate to. when i turned 16, i was porbably 5"4 or something short like that. usually i hanged around with tall cute girls, and sit on their lap , yeah i know, but anyway.
now, being 6 feet tall i dont really think it mattered all that much how tall i was.

and i did look WAY young for my age.but hey, this is how u get out of that one "U know, when im 30, and i look like im 25, ill look at people my age who look older than 30 and laugh"


good luck little man