6 months dating her, no sex and she broke up with me

[Don732]

Been dating this girl (27 y/o) for 6 months. Haven't had sex with her, she had only one boyfriend and she told me she only has sex during serious relationship. We were pretty close to having sex couple of times, but she break it off in the last minute. Whenever i brougt the topic that we should start officially dating and become a couple, she told me "she is not sure yet, and need more time". But she also was messaging, calling me first a lot of times. So i think interest was there.

Recently, she broke up with me saying "You're a very cool, smart guy. You are very generous, knows how take care of a woman, you organized amazing dates, gifts. But spark is not there"

The reason she told me was that she tells a lot about her life to me, while i talk very little about my personal life. And she can't fell in love with me due to that.

While she says i'm a perfect guy who takes her to best dates she has ever been to, give amazing gifts, etc (from her words).

I know that might sound stupid, and lots of guys gonna critize me. But is there a way to get her back?

 

[The Duke]

Been dating this girl (27 y/o) for 6 months. Haven't had sex with her, she had only one boyfriend and she told me she only has sex during serious relationship. We were pretty close to having sex couple of times, but she break it off in the last minute. Whenever i brougt the topic that we should start officially dating and become a couple, she told me "she is not sure yet, and need more time". But she also was messaging, calling me first a lot of times. So i think interest was there.

Recently, she broke up with me saying "You're a very cool, smart guy. You are very generous, knows how take care of a woman, you organized amazing dates, gifts. But spark is not there"

The reason she told me was that she tells a lot about her life to me, while i talk very little about my personal life. And she can't fell in love with me due to that.

While she says i'm a perfect guy who takes her to best dates she has ever been to, give amazing gifts, etc (from her words).

I know that might sound stupid, and lots of guys gonna critize me. But is there a way to get her back?

Why would you ever want her back?

 

[Don732]

Why would you ever want her back?

Hi Duke,
Thanks for your reply!

I don't know , i got so attached to her. i never felt that spark from my side towards any woman yet, feel like what is she was the one?

and i could have done somwhere better, like opening up myself better.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Honestly, this should be a wake up call to you. It's inexcusable to date a woman for 6 months without sex. You should have given her til the 4th or 5th date max and then sat her down and basically told her that if she isn't physically interested in you then you aren't able to date her and then she would have either fvcked you or moved on because she had low interest, which is what likely would have happened.

And why did she break up with you? Likely because she met a guy she was attracted to and had sex with him.

 

[Pierce.Manhammer]

OP: does no sex mean no handjobs or blojobs? Or just no penetration?

Have you ever been together naked?

 

[pipeman84]

Recently, she broke up with me saying "You're a very cool, smart guy. You are very generous, knows how take care of a woman, you organized amazing dates, gifts. But spark is not there"

Hey OP, there probably wasn't much of a spark from her to begin with, but whatever there was, you killed it with your neediness. I guess that's something for you to look into and work on.

feel like what is she was the one?

Can't be the one without reciprocity of feeling.

 

[Don732]

Honestly, this should be a wake up call to you. It's inexcusable to date a woman for 6 months without sex. You should have given her til the 4th or 5th date max and then sat her down and basically told her that if she isn't physically interested in you then you aren't able to date her and then she would have either fvcked you or moved on because she had low interest, which is what likely would have happened.

And why did she break up with you? Likely because she met a guy she was attracted to and had sex with him.

So basically there is nothing i could have there differently to save that? She told me reason was i wasn't opening up to her enough about my past, life and she couldn't connect. She told she was trying to whole time, but it just didn't work out

 

[Robert28]

Hi Duke,
Thanks for your reply!

I don't know , i got so attached to her. i never felt that spark from my side towards any woman yet, feel like what is she was the one?

and i could have done somwhere better, like opening up myself better.

Seems like you’re in the trap of seeking her validation more than in love. I know that because you went to great lengths to plan special dates and give gifts and you never got anything in return from her.

 

[Don732]

OP: does no sex mean no handjobs or blojobs? Or just no penetration?

Have you ever been together naked?

No, only kissing and almost getting naked. But she break it off there in the last minute

 

[Don732]

Seems like you’re in the trap of seeking her validation more than in love. I know that because you went to great lengths to plan special dates and give gifts and you never got anything in return from her.

Yeah, i think that is true. Just hit my mind. I put myself in that trap, is there way out?

 

[Robert28]

So basically there is nothing i could have there differently to save that? She told me reason was i wasn't opening up to her enough about my past, life and she couldn't connect. She told she was trying to whole time, but it just didn't work out

She was wanting information to manipulate you with and you wouldn’t give it to her. So she manipulated you instead by refusing to have sex with you. Don’t go back to this woman.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So basically there is nothing i could have there differently to save that? She told me reason was i wasn't opening up to her enough about my past, life and she couldn't connect. She told she was trying to whole time, but it just didn't work out

That's complete and utter BS from her. Did you even attempt to escalate towards sex at some point or just hope she would do it for you?

Women don't make guys they are sexually attracted to and dating "wait" for 6 months...

 

[Don732]

She was wanting information to manipulate you with and you wouldn’t give it to her. So she manipulated you instead by refusing to have sex with you. Don’t go back to this woman.

Robert, many thanks for your replies! May i please ask why would she talk to me over 6 months period? Messaging me first, going out to dates every weekends with me, etc. She is very attractive girl, i think she could have gone with a lot of other different guys instead of me. I just can't explain this to myself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No, only kissing and almost getting naked. But she break it off there in the last minute

That was the point you needed to have some self respect for yourself and walk away from her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Robert, many thanks for your replies! May i please ask why would she talk to me over 6 months period? Messaging me first, going out to dates every weekends with me, etc. She is very attractive girl, i think she could have gone with a lot of other different guys instead of me. I just can't explain this to myself.

She saw you as her gay friend that was fun to hang out with and she likely had nothing better to do. Once she did, you saw what happened.

 

[Robert28]

Robert, many thanks for your replies! May i please ask why would she talk to me over 6 months period? Messaging me first, going out to dates every weekends with me, etc. She is very attractive girl, i think she could have gone with a lot of other different guys instead of me. I just can't explain this to myself.

Did she just get out of a relationship before meeting you? If so you were her rebound to provide attention and take her kind away from the heartbreak. You were basically in the friend zone but she never came right out and told you cause she knew you’d run away. You were her sole supply of attention and activities. When she broke up with you it means she found someone she wanted to date. Your only problem is you didn’t recognize this much sooner.

 

[Robert28]

She saw you as her gay friend that was fun to hang out with and she likely had nothing better to do. Once she did, you saw what happened.

I’ve been that guy before. It’s no fun. But you do learn never to be that guy again. Or at least I hope someone would learn that.

 

[Don732]

Did she just get out of a relationship before meeting you? If so you were her rebound to provide attention and take her kind away from the heartbreak. You were basically in the friend zone but she never came right out and told you cause she knew you’d run away. You were her sole supply of attention and activities. When she broke up with you it means she found someone she wanted to date. Your only problem is you didn’t recognize this much sooner.

She got out of relationship like a year ago. I don't know man, she sounded very sincere when she talking about that spark wasn't there and she herself was hoping that spark will happen , but it never did.

 

[Don732]

She saw you as her gay friend that was fun to hang out with and she likely had nothing better to do. Once she did, you saw what happened.

Yeah, that hurts damn. But were kissing, huging everytime , so i was pretty sure i wans't friendzoned

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah, that hurts damn. But were kissing, huging everytime , so i was pretty sure i wans't friendzoned

Really? Then why didn't you have sex?

C'mon man...stop with the justifications. This can't be a lesson to learn from if all you are going to do is make excuses for her.