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4 dates - nothing but making out...

Barrister

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Girl I met on OLD. 1st date was just drinks. 2nd date a small hike- at this point after failing to escalate I thought nah this is low interest. Waited a week- set up a date- bowling & drinks- instant yes keen. Date was decent- made out at the end(why did I wait till the end). Next date a movie and which I realise is a terrible date option an at this stage she we should be smashing back at mine. But no just ended in making out.

I am not used to things progressing this slow- mostly of my own doing(feel low energy at the moment with work stress a study commitments)

4 dates and F all to show for it. Feels like I'm wasting my time.

I seem to be initiating all the contact- setting up the dates(not chit chat)

Do I bother with a next one or just move on?
Are you actually escalating during the dates? As in creating physical contact, being flirtatious, and having fun (all requirements to get it moving towards sex)? You mentioned low energy so I am guessing not. If none of this is happening and you are just going through the motions of showing up and having boring chit chat you aren't going to get sex.

And if you are in a slump and low energy, do NOT be a afraid to take a step back from dating and getting your sh1t in order and resting up. Otherwise, you are simply wasting your time.
 

DonJuanjr

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You went on a hike? For fuk sake... You goal should be entirely to get her to your place and smash that ass. Hikes... Jeeez
I can understand it if he can get her to fvck in the woods for some exciting outdoor sex.
 

Pan87

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Are you actually escalating during the dates? As in creating physical contact, being flirtatious, and having fun (all requirements to get it moving towards sex)? You mentioned low energy so I am guessing not. If none of this is happening and you are just going through the motions of showing up and having boring chit chat you aren't going to get sex.

And if you are in a slump and low energy, do NOT be a afraid to take a step back from dating and getting your sh1t in order and resting up. Otherwise, you are simply wasting your time.
Much kinder advice and very true.

If I feel low energy, down, I avoid dating entirely because meeting women is very much a Vibe sport. You can’t just show up and look good. You have to sound good and behave good too.
 

Pan87

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Didn’t gameplay this correctly. Logistics for sex have to be in place from 2nd date and onward. Pick her up at her house, or go to a sport right near your house. Etc etc.

Don’t next her. Invite her over for dinner. Next time don’t waste so much time on irrelevant dates.
Logistics on first date. Always.

I have kicked myself in the past for running dates, not trying for sex, and never seeing her again. Purely because I thought “no, it’s ok. She’ll respect me more if I play it cool and don’t make a move. And she’ll think I respect her too.”

Huge mistake.

You’re absolutely mad not to try for sex on the first date. You’ve got no guarantees you’ll ever see her again, and if you haven’t banged her your chances have gone down.
 

Barrister

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Much kinder advice and very true.

If I feel low energy, down, I avoid dating entirely because meeting women is very much a Vibe sport. You can’t just show up and look good. You have to sound good and behave good too.
Absolutely. If you go out for the night and you want to get sex (especially a first-date lay), you absolutely need to be on your "A" game. She has to feel that energy, have fun, and want to bang your brains out by the end of the date. If you show up pissed off from work, tired of all of the bullsh1t your clients put you through, and feeling like you are ready to have a beer then go to sleep, you are going to have a crash and burn on the sex front. Better off to just cancel and tell her something came up and regroup.
 

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Pan87

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Absolutely. If you go out for the night and you want to get sex (especially a first-date lay), you absolutely need to be on your "A" game. She has to feel that energy, have fun, and want to bang your brains out by the end of the date. If you show up pissed off from work, tired of all of the bullsh1t your clients put you through, and feeling like you are ready to have a beer then go to sleep, you are going to have a crash and burn on the sex front. Better off to just cancel and tell her something came up and regroup.
Have you ever experienced this?

When I get very addicted, and I’m meeting a lot of girls, it will get out of control and I’ll find myself in a situation where I’ve scheduled my entire week with different girls.

Then my mood will drop. I’ll suddenly be over it. I suddenly just want to be alone without any disturbances. So I just cancel on all of them, ignore messages and go into seclusion until I feel interested again. I call it the Binge and Purge cycle.
 

Barrister

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Have you ever experienced this?

When I get very addicted, and I’m meeting a lot of girls, it will get out of control and I’ll find myself in a situation where I’ve scheduled my entire week with different girls.

Then my mood will drop. I’ll suddenly be over it. I suddenly just want to be alone without any disturbances. So I just cancel on all of them, ignore messages and go into seclusion until I feel interested again. I call it the Binge and Purge cycle.
Yes, I have been there numerous times. If I have more than 3 dates in one week for multiple weeks in a row I will begin to have a feeling that I am over it and want to just step back and focus on myself. The constant running around to different places to bang different chicks is fun but I begin to feel drained and also like I am neglecting other parts of my life. It is definitely cyclical though.
 

RBK

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Absolutely. If you go out for the night and you want to get sex (especially a first-date lay), you absolutely need to be on your "A" game. She has to feel that energy, have fun, and want to bang your brains out by the end of the date. If you show up pissed off from work, tired of all of the bullsh1t your clients put you through, and feeling like you are ready to have a beer then go to sleep, you are going to have a crash and burn on the sex front. Better off to just cancel and tell her something came up and regroup.
Agreed, always bring your A game or its time to cancel and recharge batteries that night.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Girl I met on OLD. 1st date was just drinks. 2nd date a small hike- at this point after failing to escalate I thought nah this is low interest. Waited a week- set up a date- bowling & drinks- instant yes keen. Date was decent- made out at the end(why did I wait till the end). Next date a movie and which I realise is a terrible date option an at this stage she we should be smashing back at mine. But no just ended in making out.

I am not used to things progressing this slow- mostly of my own doing(feel low energy at the moment with work stress a study commitments)

4 dates and F all to show for it. Feels like I'm wasting my time.

I seem to be initiating all the contact- setting up the dates(not chit chat)

Do I bother with a next one or just move on?
Your not doing it right kuz.

In 0 IOIs predicament, go full blown neanderthal. Esculate. Get slapped even but make your move. You are playing it safe and hoping something happens.

In a similar predicament she gave 0 initiation of contact or any IOIs suggesting high interest level. I just made out with her and Esculated. Its the male equivalent of pushing your chips ALL-IN! Go scorched earth. Smash or #next!

**** or get off the pot.

When 0 IOIS remember she's still there. That's a indicator of interest. Act accordingly. A girl did something. I called her out. She said "I'm anxious." As in fight or flight. I put my arm around, "Why are you anxious?" Next sec were making out. I'm going up her shirt. She's clawing off my clothes, hooting on Boe Boe, and I beat it rotten.

When in doubt ESCULATE.
 

Stuffnu

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If your escalation hits a wall, cut the date short.
Either you weed out low interest or it will get her hamster spinning.
 

RickTheToad

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Girl I met on OLD. 1st date was just drinks. 2nd date a small hike- at this point after failing to escalate I thought nah this is low interest. Waited a week- set up a date- bowling & drinks- instant yes keen. Date was decent- made out at the end(why did I wait till the end). Next date a movie and which I realise is a terrible date option an at this stage she we should be smashing back at mine. But no just ended in making out.

I am not used to things progressing this slow- mostly of my own doing(feel low energy at the moment with work stress a study commitments)

4 dates and F all to show for it. Feels like I'm wasting my time.

I seem to be initiating all the contact- setting up the dates(not chit chat)

Do I bother with a next one or just move on?
Skip, you missed your shot. Next time, be more aggressive. Quit the nice guy sh!t.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP hoping to groom interest because he has no pad of his own. You have to *screen* for interest, not hope it grows. Most girls you ending up getting with will be all over you from the start, before she even finds out you have roommates. These are the girls you want - they will work with you.
 

Robert28

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I bet you she’s getting over an ex and isn’t over them, she’s using online dating and you to pass the time because she’s bored. She’s acting exactly like a couple girls I met from OLD when I was on it.
 

BillyPilgrim

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The old saying, “The wait is never worth it”
It's not just the waiting, it's the work and scrutiny (from them) involved too
 

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DEEZEDBRAH

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If your escalation hits a wall, cut the date short.
Either you weed out low interest or it will get her hamster spinning.
+1

In a go nowhere situation chalk up the W by esculation. Go nowhere situation.

Bait her.

If it's a dud and a time suck. Esculate. Comply or bye.
 

geralt

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Are you actually escalating during the dates? As in creating physical contact, being flirtatious, and having fun (all requirements to get it moving towards sex)? You mentioned low energy so I am guessing not. If none of this is happening and you are just going through the motions of showing up and having boring chit chat you aren't going to get sex.

And if you are in a slump and low energy, do NOT be a afraid to take a step back from dating and getting your sh1t in order and resting up. Otherwise, you are simply wasting your time.
Yeah I'm usually far more flirty an better at creating physical contact etc.
I think I'm just tired of this city- maybe need a fresh start somewhere new
 

geralt

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cheers for the feedback everyone- even if some of it is brutal it's what I need to hear

It is true, girls that have made it easy for me had high interest from the start. Far less effort involved and flirting/escalation feels natural.

I'm weighing up either messaging and saying the chemistry just ain't there or what a lot of you guys are saying to invite over for dinner to truly test her interest level an go for the bang (though it's very late in the week now- got plans saturday and a couple options friday)

or there's the simple next no contact
 
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Have you ever experienced this?

When I get very addicted, and I’m meeting a lot of girls, it will get out of control and I’ll find myself in a situation where I’ve scheduled my entire week with different girls.

Then my mood will drop. I’ll suddenly be over it. I suddenly just want to be alone without any disturbances. So I just cancel on all of them, ignore messages and go into seclusion until I feel interested again. I call it the Binge and Purge cycle.
I have experienced it. Ironically, I have found that the higher the quality of girls I get to meet, the easier it is for me to have this desire to drop out of the loop. When I'm having sex with "straight to the condo girls", I love having as many of them per day to come over. But when I'm meeting educated, slim, polite women who are nice to talk to, I'm starting to get bored of the cycle quite quickly. Which makes totally sense. Why would I still bother to go on the hunt if I've already met a bunch of women that are nice to be around with?
 

2Rocky

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cheers for the feedback everyone- even if some of it is brutal it's what I need to hear

It is true, girls that have made it easy for me had high interest from the start. Far less effort involved and flirting/escalation feels natural.

I'm weighing up either messaging and saying the chemistry just ain't there or what a lot of you guys are saying to invite over for dinner to truly test her interest level an go for the bang (though it's very late in the week now- got plans saturday and a couple options friday)

or there's the simple next no contact
You haven't really tried yet. Dinner at your place, or a late night bootie call. Go all in. If she folds, then you saved yourself some anguish. If she calls then show her your cards...
 
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