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2nd Date?

geralt

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Girl from tinder, new to the area decent banter, she asked for my snapchat, we switched to that.The exchanges are lighthearted/fun. a friday I finished work early i hit her up to go out, with not much notice haha, she was busy, said can we take a 'raincheck'. I say sure, proceeded to not snap/message her for a couple days. she sends a "I've missed you" which I found odd haha, I said that's cute. we haven't met at this point. the following Thursday she's snapping me, it's her day off, has time to kill before volleyball training. asks me when I finish work. I take this hint and say let's meet for a drink, I choose a place and a time, she agrees. I get there, get a beer, she messages and says she's too scared to come in alone haha. so I go out sit in her car and bring her in, we play some pool, and it goes all good, she's flirty and I use lots of opportunities to use touch. the date was a bit rushed as she had to get to training, the hug goodbye looking back on it was a missed chance to go for a kiss. since then I haven't organised a second date yet it's been 3 days haha. Should I have by now? I seem to be more of a spirit of the moment person, but I guess it's normal to try make plans haha, I was thinking of asking her on a small hike

a side note, she has been sending snaps at night saying things like:" I'm cold" or " could use a massage" and sends "wyd?" alot too. sometimes I bite on these, mostly I try not react as they seem like a cry for attention. but am I missing an opportunity here for a root? haha
 

GoldenArrow

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If the snaps are just to you, it's a root right there, but nothing more.
 

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marmel75

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White Wolf...is she more like Yen or Triss?
Just meditate on it after taking some Petri's Philter and what you should do will become quite clear...
 

geralt

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It’s a boyfriend date, hike, scroll by the beach. You want sex. Date has to be sexual. She’s afraid bars, there is s hidden freak in her. What kind of date do you want to bring that freak out?
hmm I was thinking to be sexual in any environment, but obviously some are better than others. not many good places to go around here haha. got any suggestions?maybe just invite her over or myself to hers....
 

escaleraroyal

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If i were you i will take her to my bedroom. But everyone has different strategy.
 

flowtheory

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She sounds quite young. Saying she misses you that early on, the texting style, scared of going in to a bar alone?

If you’re just wanting sex from her invite her over for a scary movie. Seems like she just wants something laid back or attention. Don’t rack your brain with her trying to figure out ideal dates
 

geralt

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Update:
she flaked on the 2nd 'date'
I ignored for a couple days, but she has continued to 'snap' me with more 'wyd?''s
my incling is she's doing this for attention- maybe doesn't know many people here yet.
what should I be responding to these? Like the last one was late on Monday night haha: "wyd tomorrow?" I basically said working, gym etc... am I missing an opportunity to set something up? I don't have time for time wasters
or am I right in NEXTing this girl?

(oh and yeah she's 5 years younger than me and from another country)
 

flowtheory

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Update:
she flaked on the 2nd 'date'
I ignored for a couple days, but she has continued to 'snap' me with more 'wyd?''s
my incling is she's doing this for attention- maybe doesn't know many people here yet.
what should I be responding to these? Like the last one was late on Monday night haha: "wyd tomorrow?" I basically said working, gym etc... am I missing an opportunity to set something up? I don't have time for time wasters
or am I right in NEXTing this girl?

(oh and yeah she's 5 years younger than me and from another country)
If she didn’t suggest another day after the flaking she just wants attention, man. She’s slotting you in to orbiter role. You can suggest one more date if she texts you a bunch more, and if she flakes on that, go ghost forever.

This is why you only want to deal with women who have interest. When they have interest, they open doors for you to walk through. When they aren’t, they will create difficulties and obstacles. She’s doing the latter while still sponging you for validation she’s wanted.
 

geralt

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Update:
So communication from her slowed a bit and I ignored her obviously attention seeking snaps. I had a free Saturday decided to give her a last shot. I went against the advice of another bar date, and invited her on a bush walk. The place is cool and it was a nice day for it. Also I think I'm better doing activities/moving. At the end of it we sat on a bench and it was cold so we got pretty close, she wouldn't stop talking at this point, just told story after story, I think she was nervous and there was tension haha, I wasn't giving her much back, I slowed down, just maintaining eye contact... so I decided to interrupt her by kissing her, we made out for a couple minutes, felt her up a bit, but yet again think I could of escalated more... anyway I ended it and dropped her back at her car. She said she didn't have much planned tonight other than wine, I told her I was going to my mates place to drink and watch a sports game later, which I planned earlier. She claimed at one point, with out me bringing it up, that she can't really have people over- because she works as a nanny-lives there. I probably missed an opportunity to bring her back to my place, but didnt want to ditch plans with my friends

random things:
-I was leading the way most of the time on the walk (pretending I knew where I was going haha)
-she gave me an odd question while walking behind me: " do guys like there butts touched?
-she hinted about a movie she wanted to see

so feel free to tell me where I went wrong haha
set up the next date? do I go with to the cinemas where we'd be quiet for like 2 hours. or just invite her over for a movie/wine etc at mine?
 

stringpuller

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hmm I was thinking to be sexual in any environment, but obviously some are better than others. not many good places to go around here haha. got any suggestions?maybe just invite her over or myself to hers....
You have already met her. Why not? Or bounce her home after an eve out. Keep it fun.
These guys are right. No hikes or lunches. Drinks and secs. 2-3 weeks in its you asking her after that time period it she be her persuing.
Sounds like your in a decent place. Don't over communicate with her at this point. Think 80/20
 

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stringpuller

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do I go with to the cinemas where we'd be quiet for like 2 hours. or just invite her over for a movie/wine etc at mine
Id go to your place. Movie theaters are killers in this scenario. I did this one time at the beginning stages years ago and i learned its not good. Secs should happen before the movies over hahaha.
 

stringpuller

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At intermission, I said, let's take a walk. Up to this point she had been sitting on her side of the truck, me on mine
Shyt happen before the end of the movie.drive ins are a bit different then cinema theaters. Movie theaters before sex happens is a bad idea. As bad as "lunch"
Married couples go to theaters.
Drive ins practically invented parking make outs. I should have been more specific.
 

geralt

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Geralt said


I think she was nervous and there was tension haha, She is expecting/wanting you to escalate, hence the nervousness
so I decided to interrupt her by kissing her, we made out for a couple minutes, felt her up a bit, but yet again think I could of escalated more. And yet didn't.
She said she didn't have much planned tonight other than wine, Hinting, waiting for an invitation back to your place
I told her I was going to my mates place to drink and watch a sports game later, which I planned earlier. She claimed at one point, with out me bringing it up, that she can't really have people over- because she works as a nanny-lives there. I guess you don't want to have sex with her. And her telling you she can't have people over is a HUGE hint to invite her over. But nah, you had male friends to hang out with. Sheesh....
I probably missed an opportunity to bring her back to my place, but didnt want to ditch plans with my friends Probably? uh, YEAH......


-she gave me an odd question while walking behind me: " do guys like there butts touched? SEXUAL INNUENDO. She is desperately, without being too forward, trying to get the message across to you that she want to have sex with you.
-she hinted about a movie she wanted to see

do I go with to the cinemas where we'd be quiet for like 2 hours. or just invite her over for a movie/wine etc at mine Take her to the movie. Use that 2 hours to stoke the fire with light touching/rubbing of her forearm, the inside of her elbow. DON'T try and make out with there there, in public. Hold her hand, rub the inside of her forearm, put your hand on her thigh, and each time you take it off to get pocorn, etc, put it back a little higher, gently rubbing her thigh. Stay away from her crotch, but be close to it.

Make sure you place is clean before you bring her back to it.
thanks, I knew this but needed to hear it. missed opportunity, I will take the next one. I must stop ignoring these hints and escalate. Varied opinion on the movie thing I see, hmm...
 

geralt

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update:
NEXT.

In short she gave vague answers when I was trying to set up the logistics. Didn't give a counter offer or real excuse. Likely had minimal interest all along and dropped to low within a few days. Literally and brutally just said: "bye" hahaha **** never had that before. Trying hard for this to not knock my confidence.
I know where I went wrong as you guys pointed out, I'm not aggressive enough at escalating and recognising things in the moment, but they become clear to me afterwards. My setting up dates probably needs work too.

on to other girls!
 

koloso

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If the snaps are just to you, it's a root right there, but nothing more.
 
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