“I Love you” and the razor’s edge

Spaz

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Another key concept that leads us to the "Pursue only your passions, and they will come/stay." I call this the CEO paradigm.

While too busy "taking over the world" in pursuance of thy passions, who is no longer a source of your attention? Might be intriguing at first, but in LTR context, it fails.

I, too, have fall victim to this many times in LTRs. Working around the clock in furtherance of power, exhausted during any free time, the CEO pays her little/no attention, leave her feeling unappreciated--neglecting her companionship need. Hence, "fvck the pool boy" dynamic arises or--if a woman has greater integrity--disrespect followed by the end.
True and yet not completely so.

When a man reaches that stage, he has already has amassed sufficient skills in leadership, but yet somehow "fails" to lead his own wife/women ?

In truth, if a man looks deep within himself, it's because he no longer desires her as he once did nor is she really up to his standards, in effect it's a subconscious soft-dismissal.
 

guru1000

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True and yet not completely so.

When a man reaches that stage, he has already has amassed sufficient skills in leadership, but yet somehow "fails" to lead his own wife/women ?

In truth, if a man looks deep within himself, it's because he no longer desires her as he once did nor is she really up to his standards, in effect it's a subconscious soft-dismissal.
Let's keep going.

Can this same CEO-type man value someone (as much) whom has already been won or "conquered"? If so, describe what type of woman this would be if at all possible.
 
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It seems to me that women get their daily mental needs met by their jobs, self help books, feminine crusaders, girl power stuff. Lol
The CEO paradigm is not suited to both paradigms. I think she needs both. Breeder and provider.
This duality persists. Of course she wants both in one man. Where does that exist? Fukking Mary Poppins and Disney?

I think a man can be both. That is a new frontier. Something that was said on here once makes a lot of sense.
“Just the act of committing to a woman, lessens a man to a certain extent. In her woman’s mind.”
I’m not saying forego commitment. Not saying that at all.

This is where shaping seems to be a key word. Thus younger women with less partners would be a good start. Despite this I like younger and older women. I just like women. They are interesting.
 
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lamath

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What number of partners is too many? Prob dont mater as much if you want to plate her.
Its also prob age and person dependent but still wondering.
The older i get the higher a women count will be in general, so i guess a man cant have too many expection of a women to have a low count
 

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What number of partners is too many? Prob dont mater as much if you want to plate her.
Its also prob age and person dependent but still wondering.
The older i get the higher a women count will be in general, so i guess a man cant have too many expection of a women to have a low count
Do you think that your count has the same effect?
What you wrote would be the feminine imperative thinking.
If a man is the single point emanation and the woman is made and built differently. Her frame molds for survival. So how can the effect be the same. Women acting and being men?

So how many men would it take before she can no longer pair bond at an intimate level?

Sorry, I don’t follow the Feminine Imperative directives. On a personal note, I don’t care because I will never marry her or tie her to my finances.
 

lamath

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Do you think that your count has the same effect?
What you wrote would be the feminine imperative thinking.
If a man is the single point emanation and the woman is made and built differently. Her frame molds for survival. So how can the effect be the same. Women acting and being men?

So how many men would it take before she can no longer pair bond at an intimate level?

Sorry, I don’t follow the Feminine Imperative directives. On a personal note, I don’t care because I will never marry her or tie her to my finances.
My count might have some similar effect, but since we are wired differently then women it make me wonder.

The more men she has under her belt also affect the way she think and act towards men.
Ik about the female imperative and would not either marry or tie my finance to a women, with today world i think its just common sense.

However im not against some kind of LTR, so im wondering the effect of too many **** on her bonding capacity
 
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However im not against some kind of LTR, so im wondering the effect of too many **** on her bonding capacity
It is self evident that the older a woman gets the more baggage she gets. In relationship to a man. Now a man who was trashed by a woman can have quite the baggage as well. He still blames the women and her disregard for how much he gave to the relationship.

I asked a woman once about why does an older woman carry so much baggage. She was not offended at all but simply said....”men”

Now I know she meant her frustration with men. But how many times has a woman thought, “oh this new guy is the $hit!” Because of how he makes her feel. Then two months later...”Oh never mind, he wasn’t what I thought he was.” Boom. Bonded then went flat. Multiply that by 12.
She’s ruined herself. Then you pile the Feminine Imperative on top and then how everything is a man’s fault or the cult of men in general.

So a guy pair bonds and then gets trashed like garbage because of his raising. Then he decides to despise women for it. Baggage.

The last two “dates” I was on there were small things through conversations that pointed everything to someone else’s fault. Baggage.

Most if not nearly all of women, are incapable of self examination. They will think something critical about themselves and let tell her girlfriends and then “WHAT? Girl you are awesome. He didn’t deserve you. You are the $hit. He’s just a stupid man.” Boom!!! Any self evaluation is nullified by the imperative.

So yes. Every time she bonds, a little bit more of herself is flushed down with the tampon.
It’s rather sad if you think about it.

Even more reason to offer her redemption, femininity and protection. Let her mold to you if she can. There’s a living hell between her ears.
 

Roober

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Suggesting that one sex loves more than the other is a fools errand, and a naive one at that. Can a man ever love a woman like she loves a child? Can a woman ever be ready to sacrifice herself for the love of her man?

To even compare these is a fundamental misunderstanding of gender dynamics and psychology. Each sex loves differently and thus operate in different ways with their compassion and love towards each other. Some of you sound like Hitler, claiming some sort of superiority over a lesser race, due to the differences which you do not understand.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you should live with an open heart, even if it hurts. To close yourself from the world, and from the opposite sex because of any of the millions of reasons people do this (usually unresolved childhood issues) is robbing yourself one of the things that make us human.

This becomes increasingly difficult as you lay more partners. This may be a shocker to some, but it affects men and women the similarly. You could argue that it affects women more, but it does affect men as well. High partner counts offer insight into alternative partners, therefore they tend to become dissatisfied more easily (sound familiar?). I have heard that much more here than with any of my peers outside of SS, regardless if they are married or single.

With each partner, people tend to add new items to the checklist. What they fail to realize is that the list becomes so long, it is bound for failure. So they then relinquish their opportunities for meeting the impossible standards they have developed, and continue to blindly look while claiming they are "waiting for the right person". Why date 1 or more new partners a week if you are not actually looking for someone or looking for love? Why commit so much time and effort to pursuing the opposite sex if it is not a priority in your life?
 
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lamath

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It is self evident that the older a woman gets the more baggage she gets. In relationship to a man. Now a man who was trashed by a woman can have quite the baggage as well. He still blames the women and her disregard for how much he gave to the relationship.

I asked a woman once about why does an older woman carry so much baggage. She was not offended at all but simply said....”men”

Now I know she meant her frustration with men. But how many times has a woman thought, “oh this new guy is the $hit!” Because of how he makes her feel. Then two months later...”Oh never mind, he wasn’t what I thought he was.” Boom. Bonded then went flat. Multiply that by 12.
She’s ruined herself. Then you pile the Feminine Imperative on top and then how everything is a man’s fault or the cult of men in general.

So a guy pair bonds and then gets trashed like garbage because of his raising. Then he decides to despise women for it. Baggage.

The last two “dates” I was on there were small things through conversations that pointed everything to someone else’s fault. Baggage.

Most if not nearly all of women, are incapable of self examination. They will think something critical about themselves and let tell her girlfriends and then “WHAT? Girl you are awesome. He didn’t deserve you. You are the $hit. He’s just a stupid man.” Boom!!! Any self evaluation is nullified by the imperative.

So yes. Every time she bonds, a little bit more of herself is flushed down with the tampon.
It’s rather sad if you think about it.

Even more reason to offer her redemption, femininity and protection. Let her mold to you if she can. There’s a living hell between her ears.

Very good stuff there, for some ltr or even short lasting relashionship i see how it could affect a women.
What about women that do ons or sleep around without getting serious.

The strategy i see often and has affected me in a way that i dont approach like i could is when women are together they like trashing some guy for trying to get with her. I use to work with lots of women saw it often.
(He called me at 1 am i know what he wanted) Like he was an ******* or something.
 
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Spaz

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Most if not nearly all of women, are incapable of self examination. They will think something critical about themselves and let tell her girlfriends and then “WHAT? Girl you are awesome. He didn’t deserve you. You are the $hit. He’s just a stupid man.” Boom!!! Any self evaluation is nullified by the imperative.
That's a nice one hahaha

Made me laugh by the truthfulness of it.
 

Spaz

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Suggesting that one sex loves more than the other is a fools errand, and a naive one at that. Can a man ever love a woman like she loves a child? Can a woman ever be ready to sacrifice herself for the love of her man?

To even compare these is a fundamental misunderstanding of gender dynamics and psychology. Each sex loves differently and thus operate in different ways with their compassion and love towards each other. Some of you sound like Hitler, claiming some sort of superiority over a lesser race, due to the differences which you do not understand.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you should live with an open heart, even if it hurts. To close yourself from the world, and from the opposite sex because of any of the millions of reasons people do this (usually unresolved childhood issues) is robbing yourself one of the things that make us human.

This becomes increasingly difficult as you lay more partners. This may be a shocker to some, but it affects men and women the similarly. You could argue that it affects women more, but it does affect men as well. High partner counts offer insight into alternative partners, therefore they tend to become dissatisfied more easily (sound familiar?). I have heard that much more here than with any of my peers outside of SS, regardless if they are married or single.

With each partner, people tend to add new items to the checklist. What they fail to realize is that the list becomes so long, it is bound for failure. So they then relinquish their opportunities for meeting the impossible standards they have developed, and continue to blindly look while claiming they are "waiting for the right person". Why date 1 or more new partners a week if you are not actually looking for someone or looking for love? Why commit so much time and effort to pursuing the opposite sex if it is not a priority in your life?
Unbeknownst to me this topic has already been touched on by POOK, although he has put it in a more palatable language but it's similar to the views that I've posted here.

@LARaiders85 rightly pointed it out that this has been discussed in the past. Here you go;

 

samspade

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Suggesting that one sex loves more than the other is a fools errand, and a naive one at that. Can a man ever love a woman like she loves a child? Can a woman ever be ready to sacrifice herself for the love of her man?

To even compare these is a fundamental misunderstanding of gender dynamics and psychology. Each sex loves differently and thus operate in different ways with their compassion and love towards each other. Some of you sound like Hitler, claiming some sort of superiority over a lesser race, due to the differences which you do not understand.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you should live with an open heart, even if it hurts. To close yourself from the world, and from the opposite sex because of any of the millions of reasons people do this (usually unresolved childhood issues) is robbing yourself one of the things that make us human.

This becomes increasingly difficult as you lay more partners. This may be a shocker to some, but it affects men and women the similarly. You could argue that it affects women more, but it does affect men as well. High partner counts offer insight into alternative partners, therefore they tend to become dissatisfied more easily (sound familiar?). I have heard that much more here than with any of my peers outside of SS, regardless if they are married or single.

With each partner, people tend to add new items to the checklist. What they fail to realize is that the list becomes so long, it is bound for failure. So they then relinquish their opportunities for meeting the impossible standards they have developed, and continue to blindly look while claiming they are "waiting for the right person". Why date 1 or more new partners a week if you are not actually looking for someone or looking for love? Why commit so much time and effort to pursuing the opposite sex if it is not a priority in your life?
Good points. People are forgetting that the sexes are complementary of one another. One biological imperative isn't better than the other because mother nature doesn't care about your personal perspective. Sosuavers often complain about female solipsism but I'm seeing a lot of male solipsism on this thread. If we're breaking this all down to biology and evolution then "love" isn't anything more than a biochemical program your mind is running on you for your survival and reproduction. Same goes for your idea of a soul. You're just part of the big simulation like she is, and you can't have it both ways.

I prefer the more human perspective; it makes life more interesting and fun. I'm more of the "better to have loved and lost" philosophy. If you're learning without becoming too jaded, you're growing. Every man has a different path for growth - for some it's 1,000 women, for some it's just one. Even zero. No doubt women are wired differently but they can grow too. It doesn't necessarily require umpteen partners but I think bonding and possibly having children abets this. Now it's true, saying "I love you" can have different motivations for men and women. Like guru said, it can even have different context in any given moment. I think the most important thing for men to know is that with enough experience, they'll know the real thing when they see it. That doesn't mean it's permanent, but if it's from a real place, a man with his wits about him can see the substance, or lack thereof, behind the proclamation. If you say it or feel it back it doesn't mean your whole suit of armor falls off.
 
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Spaz

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Well then, when can we see any clear examples of the supposedly deep love (other then being induced by the feminine imperative) by a woman from either any women here or from the feminine imperative fanboys who enjoys grovelling and then feels proud as being the best groveller - the best PUA trickster ?

I'm sure one of you can come up with something - I'm counting on it to put it to the test.

Aside to the women here, saying "I love you" or "I just absolutely loveeee" this handbag or that high heels or the beta provider doesn't equate deep love, it's actually love for ur survival (lifestyle). Care to dispute me ?
 

Roober

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Well then, when can we see any clear examples of the supposedly deep love (other then being induced by the feminine imperative) by a woman from either any women here or from the feminine imperative fanboys who enjoys grovelling and then feels proud as being the best groveller - the best PUA trickster ?

I'm sure one of you can come up with something - I'm counting on it to put it to the test.

Aside to the women here, saying "I love you" or "I just absolutely loveeee" this handbag or that high heels or the beta provider doesn't equate deep love, it's actually love for ur survival (lifestyle). Care to dispute me ?
Maybe it would be more beneficial to provide examples of men illustrating this "deep love" that you seem to believe is only possibly demonstrated by men? That would provide some context as to your definition of the word "love", and help guide the proper examples illustrated by women.

The demonstration of love towards partners is multi-faceted and doesn't follow a narrow spectrum of actions or words. It is unique to each individual, and not necessarily quantifiable or observable as you seem to suggest. If you could provide explicit examples of what "you" consider love, I am sure an equal example could be provided of a woman displaying those affections for a man.
 

Spaz

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Maybe it would be more beneficial to provide examples of men illustrating this "deep love" that you seem to believe is only possibly demonstrated by men? That would provide some context as to your definition of the word "love", and help guide the proper examples illustrated by women.

The demonstration of love towards partners is multi-faceted and doesn't follow a narrow spectrum of actions or words. It is unique to each individual, and not necessarily quantifiable or observable as you seem to suggest. If you could provide explicit examples of what "you" consider love, I am sure an equal example could be provided of a woman displaying those affections for a man.
It's littered around the forums, various postings of men sacrificing everything he has to offer; body, soul and mind. Even in this thread it's already been spoken of.

It's also in great works of literature.

It's in music.

It's everywhere if you are observant. Look at your neighbour, your coworkers, your siblings - look deeper.
 

markfromeurope

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I've never heard in my entire life my father saying "I love You" to my mother with romantic tone in his voice. Actually he probably never have said it to her when we were around.

I think it's better to show it with your deeds rather than say it. There's something incredibly weak about man saying those words and some men tend to say it when they feel they need to get upper hand in some way.

There's also this primal feeling of being subjugated - or perhaps it's just me.
 
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