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  1. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    Yes, apparently you do. I didn't even know these existed until now. Hope this might be useful to other newbs well. I do dance and improv. A good deal of women in both. I was waiting on more OLD accounts until I got photos that got above average Attractiveness on photofeeler.com, which I cannot...
  2. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    Regarding mindset, I have collected the following set of media: Craig Ferguson's behavior as a Gold Standard for engaging women: Billy's Guide to Neg Hits is a bit dated, but definitive with reasonable rules of engagement: The Healthy Neg (aka Teasing) Is A Playful Way To Point At Someone's...
  3. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    She pushed pretty hard away today on text. She asked for an agenda to talk on the phone... so I went with mystery (for me to know and you to wonder). She couldn't handle it. It "made her feel icky." No more talking says the text. Then she sends another text rationalizing the position saying she...
  4. R

    1 hour on the phone. What next?

    Do you guys have any resources on how these text or calls are supposed to go? Even a redacted text log or call transcript type reference. I had been in an LTR for nearly 2 years so my habits are to just chill and talk. This is wrong. But I also have completely lost the ability to plant the seed...
  5. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    @Lookatu, that writeup was gold! Thank you. I don't mind if you link to resources/articles/books so you don't have to write as much. I do appreciate the time and thought going into it. @2Rocky How am I supposed to do that? I am on one OLD in a new city. The Photofeeler keeps coming back as...
  6. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    Good notes, Lookatu. It is never a bad time to review the basics! I feel like I have some of them covered. I am talking to others from OLD, just not journaling it in this thread so it can be about this one particular individual. I like to go deep to understand one example really well whenever...
  7. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    There is a line between good faith and not. I find assuming good faith helpful in maintaining frame and what I have come to understand as alpha. I do not idealize her but her potential, which is to say that it exists. I see interest and I see the hesitation. Both concurrently. She is (or was)...
  8. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    Have been away for a couple of days for a 18 hr/day work push. I got the let's be friends text at 10 am today after I sent a hello text. Something about us both being first borns and locking horns in that way. Didn't let it phase me too much, though it was momentarily disappointing. Think it was...
  9. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    10 years. One older sister, married and still back in India. Parents in India as well. Also, she is 1 year divorced from what sounds like an unstable partner. The guy couldn't hold it together and even his mom was concerned about her wellbeing knowing his character. Tragic as it is, she seems to...
  10. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    Oh my. That is it! That is why she never engaged with my friends and I was kept at a distance from her family. Then when it came time to start connecting me, this issues started to pop up.
  11. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    This is a great exercise for listening. Given her somewhat manic tendencies, I can see this as her sort of overreacting to prior experience. If I play it cool (i.e. not annoy, but silence is often best) her slower thoughts may lead to the guilt for the insult.
  12. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    I see now. What an insight, SirBigBell! My past relationship with "Zara" makes more sense now (https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/pennies-for-thoughts.267579/). It seems she Americanized her values to want everything done for her and to have it her way (no submission). I found it slightly...
  13. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    She seems to indicate interest other than this outlier. There is evidence that she is attempting to consciously self-regulate. Her personality is impulsive, so it is a reasonable direction to move for her. As she moves to self-regulate, she may be overdoing it, which also seems to be her...
  14. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    Good point. Speculation on my part. 1. I am the prize. My time is a gift. 2. Evaluate if she would be good for my 9 year old son (divorce). starting a new family. 3. Escalate with IOIs as the rough guide. I wonder how to evaluate. What kind of voluntary stressful situations do people sign up...
  15. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    Ah... this rings true to me. Remind me, how does one make their intentions clear and plant the seed? This is the thing. Normally, I would be in support of such things and it would not bother me. But the way she talks through her thinking about the decision making process in front of me and...
  16. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    I am 4th generation American Caucasian. She is an immigrant from India of 10 years. What kind of adjustments do you make for the South Asians? I tend to find that they value family, which I like.
  17. R

    30 y/o Indian thoughts

    She is 30. Technical. Just finished lunch in which she almost bailed for the second time - nerves. Beautiful. Polite. Same religion. While we were at lunch she disclosed the plan to study for 40 hrs this weekend and disappear until next Friday for a tech certification test. She also cancelled...
  18. R

    OLD feels like a waste

    I see a lot of words but not much actionable information. 1) Photos. What is the intent for the photo? How do you get that photo taken (you DO need help)? Here is a tool for measuring: https://www.photofeeler.com/
  19. R

    OLD feels like a waste

    What is the IDGAF compliance test?
  20. R

    Pennies for thoughts

    Zara broke up the relationship. The basis was that neither of us were going to give each other what we wanted, so we were just torturing each other. We were holding each other back. She also ended all communications, unlike previously. I can see some element of truth. But also, there was a lack...
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