Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Search results

  1. N

    At what point does sexual frustration become dangerous? An illness even?

    Good evening. It seems your situation is acute. I can relate to that. Here are some thoughts. This is confusion on Pook's part. Desire is never 'gotten rid of' and this idea/paradigm is the cause of wide-spread confusion from SoSuave all the way to the halls of Tibetan buddhism. It...
  2. N

    Should I ask girl out via facebook?

    Yes. Do it. Just always do everything with girls you feel inclined to. I'm not being sarcastic, and not even bombastic or deliberately provocative. Always do everything you feel inclined to. Write to her. If another strikes your fancy next week, write to her. Maybe try to avoid getting busted...
  3. N

    Getting over oneitiis

    No, its not beta. Its human. You're in love with a woman. Thats something to celebrate. If you think these feelings will be easy to replace, you lack real-world experience. The guys who wrote most of what you've read also lack real-world experience, but you can only realize this when you get...
  4. N

    Has her IL dropped after my stuff ups? How do I proceed?

    I concur. When a woman creates a vacuum (i.e. goes silent) - EVERYTHING that you read into it is your own insecurities speaking. This is a chance to study yourself, why are you freaking out - not a chance to "apply a quick fix to get back with her". That will happen or it wont depending on her...
  5. N

    AFC terminology

    Right on man.
  6. N

    Growing through the Mud: Lotus' Journey to Evolution!

    wow. What an amazing masculine spirit and energy is communicated between the lines of this post. I can't help but feel inspired just reading this stuff! Wow man. A lot of people throw words around like this but it sounds like there is some gasoline in your engine! Congrats man. It honestly...
  7. N

    mixed signals from colleague

    So here's the painful truth of it as I see it. She probably likes you, on some level. She feels it. Thats why the 'forced smile' and 'deer in the headlights' - people who are indifferent do not act that way. She is carrying the burden of a small to medium amount of sexual tension around you...
  8. N

    Feeling guilty (my gf and other girls)

    Depends what lessons you want to learn. Generally we don't have a say in what lessons we learn, so you will already be tending in a direction and this is more about trying to consciously acknowledge/accept/reject a thing that is already happening. It seems to relate to sexual curiosity and a...
  9. N

    Frustrations of a (very) late starter

    Maybe self-acceptance is a place to start. You just referred back to an earlier version of yourself as being less-than-human. That's not a good sign. Self-improvement has a very serious darkside, and that is self-judgment. In choosing to see your sexuality as flawed, you are engaging with that...
  10. N

    Having Second thoughts about my decision (no contact/breakup)

    Hey another alternative URL that redirects to SoSuave is DropClassyUltimatumsAndThenDisappear.net. You did good at dropping ultimatums. But giving another person an ultimatum is a skill that takes some honing. You have to be able to push the right buttons, etc. etc. Keep working at it. Just...
  11. N

    Life isn't about winning and being cool

    Yeah, the title encapsulates the message. Life isn't about winning and being cool. Oftentimes you win, and find out that the cost of winning was too great. Or you find that there is some secret dark-side to your victory, that you could never have anticipated. And the converse is also...
  12. N

    Stay cold or make her realize??

    So it seems like you aren't meant to be together right now. She doesn't want to be. But you have a connection. One that can't be replaced, because no special connection can be replaced. There is that tension, given these two facts. You can ride that tension and accept it, and let it torture...
  13. N

    Myth: women don't want an overly sexualized man

    There is no one archetype or expression of masculine sexuality that women have settled on as best. There is not even a useful average, in my view. "Strong, manly man" is often only created by men who think "I used to be weak and the world sh1tted on me for it". Which is a less self-aware way...
  14. N

    QUESTION: Why commit 100%?

    Aside from what Jariel and HumbleNinja said, which really covers a lot of ground... I'll try and address the core of your question, without getting lost in clever specifics or trying to convince. First off, no way is better. You can serially date girls all your life if you want. If people...
  15. N

    How do you let a girl know you will not wait around for her?

    Do you mean: How do you be impatient with her in such a stylish way as to push her into having sex with you? How about saying explicitly what you're trying to say implicitly: "Have sex with me or I'll leave you." and the famous classic: "PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME." The thing is, the lack of...
  16. N

    So what are my chances?

    There are two levels to the answer, depending on how much responsibility you want to take, and that means how much pain you're willing to absorb. Its a Choose Your Own Adventure Story, except in real life! Right now you are issuing ultimatums. You get to decide whether you want to be the kind...
  17. N

    Women want POWER not a deep connection

    The thing is, with this kind of thinking, you're never going to be able to have a deep connection with women. So you can't test out your hypothesis that women desire POWER instead connection, because only one of these things actually exists within your reality at the moment. With this kind of...
  18. N

    How often do you guys cold approach?

    I went cold-approach crazy (thank you Real Social Dynamics) when I was 24 to 26. Got some lays, relationships from it. Don't do it anymore. Loved daygame, only did daygame really. Its a cool experiment and it can get you sexually involved with women. About 1 in 20 will want things to go...
  19. N

    Frame it as a date or not?

    The problem is that this mindset expressed above is going to make it hard. Its less how you frame it to her, and more how you have already framed it to yourself. You see, she will intuitively sense this mindset. You're biggest problem will probably be her 'smelling' this on you. Can you...
  20. N

    Experienced DJ but I am back here for relationship advice and thoughts...

    If the feelings last a long time, or if they come up several times throughout your life, then they reflect wounds that exist inside of you. These can be healed using disciplined exercises of thought and feeling.