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Would you text or wait her to text again after canceling a meeting?

powersize

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There is that girl i know for about 3-4 weeks and we slept 2 times already. Met her at a bar quite drunk where she told me straight how hot I am (which was the reason I took a number). We were supposed to meet last weekend but she canceled in the last moment apologizing and saying she got sick, needs to rest and so on without proposing another date (red flag). I played it cool and told her to get better and let me know when she wanna meet again. After that I texted her one or two times more to check how she feels (you know to show that i try to care about her).

So it is been 4 days already since I heart from her. The question is would you text again her or wait once she comes back?

I got sick as well now so even if I text i will not schedule a meeting this weekend, so it is gonna be another hey, how is your weekend and so on. My gut tells me that she is not as really interested in me, the sex means sh1t to majority of girls nowadays, and that I need to wait for her to come back since this is exactly what I told her earlier.
 

Barrister

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I think it was fine that you reached out to check on her - that is just showing empathy which is normal human behavior. People get too formulaic with these things. Getting sick is a normal part of being alive and it doesn't mean she is no longer interested.

I would not try to reschedule though unless she is otherwise showing high interest. Some women will not ever take the reins on a situation and she will wait for you to reschedule. So I think context matters. If she has basically gone dark now otherwise, the writing is on the wall and I would not continue to reach out. If she is otherwise texting you, being flirtatious, and showing high interest, nothing wrong with asking her to meet up once you feel better. But if she is noncommittal towards a new date then I would back off and go dark. And obviously, if you make the date and she cancels AGAIN you then go dark and move on.
 

powersize

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I think it was fine that you reached out to check on her - that is just showing empathy which is normal human behavior. People get too formulaic with these things. Getting sick is a normal part of being alive and it doesn't mean she is no longer interested.

I would not try to reschedule though unless she is otherwise showing high interest. Some women will not ever take the reins on a situation and she will wait for you to reschedule. So I think context matters. If she has basically gone dark now otherwise, the writing is on the wall and I would not continue to reach out. If she is otherwise texting you, being flirtatious, and showing high interest, nothing wrong with asking her to meet up once you feel better. But if she is noncommittal towards a new date then I would back off and go dark. And obviously, if you make the date and she cancels AGAIN you then go dark and move on.
As I mentioned, nothing from her over this days - while she keeps posting work-related stories which I ignore. In general I was the one who always initiated all conversations. So originally I did not pay much attention on the actual fact that she canceled if she tried to initiate any conversation after than - which she did not, which makes to believe that it is better to move on.
 

dude99

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Girls live on their phones. She knows you texted. Sick or not it is a choice to not respond. She may be sick she may not be. 4 days and zero response to you seeing how she is doing? She cancelled and offered no counter. Put a fork in this one. It is done.
 

powersize

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I think here the rule Who care less - wins might work
Girls live on their phones. She knows you texted. Sick or not it is a choice to not respond. She may be sick she may not be. 4 days and zero response to you seeing how she is doing? She cancelled and offered no counter. Put a fork in this one. It is done.
The context here was that she did respond me - but than silence from her side. You know, usually you expect that girl will initiate something.
 

Modern Man Advice

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This is good timing for this post as I recently published an article about the importance of vetting women out during dating.

As Barrister said, you were correct to check on her. But yes, not rescheduling or proposing another time is a bit of a red flag. I don't expect to do so right away, especially if she is sick but she has been MIA for 4 days. Unless she is super sick, this is a display of low to no interest.

Make sure you set those standards high and set a strong frame for what you want and deserve, especially in the beginning stages of dating. Avoid any women that are time wasters and do not allow their behavior to go unnoticed. You will be surprised how many women are used to men allowing ignoring their failings/flaws. But not you, do not allow that.

How I do it is, I would usually extend 1 invitation to something pretty rad I am doing, and most times they go. But sometimes they say no. If they say something along the lines of "I can't but how about this day..." or "I can't but I'd love to soon" then I make 1 more attempt and they better accept. If they do not say the above, I do not extend another invite, delete her number, and on to the next one.

I think deleting their number is a psychological move. For one it really forces you to cut contact, and second, you are telling your brain you are moving on.

Anyway, if you are interested in reading my latest article on this check it out here:



Modern Man Advice
 

BackInTheGame78

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Nope...no texting.

She has to come to you. This could be a test to see how desperate for her attention you are or it could simply be that she only saw you as someone she wanted to fvck but isn't all that interested in. Or you may have disappointed her in the bedroom or done things she didn't like.

No way of knowing, but texting her again isn't going to solve any of it. All it will do is let her know you are into her more than she is into you and shift the power to her. Right now she doesn't know because you haven't shown that, even if you are thinking it. She may think she knows but she still has some doubts in her mind. Don't erase those doubts.

Either she will hit you up or you can pretty much assume she is seeing someone else she is more interested in.
 

powersize

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Thanks folks. You just reassured my action plan
 

powersize

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How would you reply on this:


I need to talk with you about something. You see my life isn't going that well as it should. I think i will need some alone time for a while so i could be off for a little bit. You dont need to worry. I just thought i will let you know what's going on if i will not catch up with you.
So dont feel ghosted or something if i will not respond or have time to meet. Obviously you are not obligated to except it and i will understand if this situationship will end becouse of that.
I just dont want you to think bad of me. Just need some time to get my **** together.
I just hope u understand me . I need some space and be alone for a while. Severals work , study i just need focus on myself for now. :).
 

EyeBRollin

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How would you reply on this:


I need to talk with you about something. You see my life isn't going that well as it should. I think i will need some alone time for a while so i could be off for a little bit. You dont need to worry. I just thought i will let you know what's going on if i will not catch up with you.
So dont feel ghosted or something if i will not respond or have time to meet. Obviously you are not obligated to except it and i will understand if this situationship will end becouse of that.
I just dont want you to think bad of me. Just need some time to get my **** together.
I just hope u understand me . I need some space and be alone for a while. Severals work , study i just need focus on myself for now. :).
I wouldn’t respond at all. Delete her number.
 

RobbyDog

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How would you reply on this:


I need to talk with you about something. You see my life isn't going that well as it should. I think i will need some alone time for a while so i could be off for a little bit. You dont need to worry. I just thought i will let you know what's going on if i will not catch up with you.
So dont feel ghosted or something if i will not respond or have time to meet. Obviously you are not obligated to except it and i will understand if this situationship will end becouse of that.
I just dont want you to think bad of me. Just need some time to get my **** together.
I just hope u understand me . I need some space and be alone for a while. Severals work , study i just need focus on myself for now. :).
“K, good luck”

Then completely forget about her.
 

Gamisch

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Great replies. I think men nowedays are way more confused than women when it comes to casual s3x. And meeting a drunk girl at a bar is as casual as it gets. When you as a man are confused because she was intimate with you, but yet she ghost is you , it's a sign you you have gotta step up your game in general. If this hypothetically happens to you every week, you wouldn't expect nothing else but this behaviour.

Remember, easy come easy go. She probably has higher interest for some other dude and that's fine. Other dude needs to deal with a girl who sleeps around with random man, you don't wanna be him anyway.

Put the mental trophy in your mental display cabinet, and delete her number. She always has your number so if she wants to reach out she can. But at least you train yourself to have a certain way of dealing with women like this. Acting like a btch and begging her for whatever will always deteriorate your frame.
 

powersize

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Which is what she texted me after I asked what is wrong:

Yeah I was happy but recently I'm so busy. I have lack of free time all the time stress and not certain situation. In past I used to have depression episode which I can feel coming back. Some days I'm drawing in sadness. That's why I want step back and just fully focus on my tasks. I don't want focus on feelings I just don't feel I can keep any realtion now. Some days I really don't want go outside at all, but I have to. Sometimes my reality is just too heavy and every day feel a bit tough.
 

powersize

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So I replied - Ok, if this is what you really want.

I will consider it as 2 times smash and move on. Nothing to deal here with.
 

powersize

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She's a mess right now as evidenced from the texts @powersize has shared. He has to delete her number, cease contact, and move on.
Yep. I also feel it. Do not want to deal with a girl who will start some sh1t in the future cause of her mental health. I read enough stories like that on this forum
 
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