Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

*advice* Guys, do not waste your time being friends with girls.

Bethatsocialguy

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The friendzone is a dangerous place for a guy. If you meet a girl with the intention of having something more than just friends with her, that should be your goal. If you do not get there, do not settle for second best of "being her friend". Especially if she knows that you started talking to her to be something more than friends. Once she friendzones you, her respect for you drops completely. She does not look at you in a sexual way. Moving out of the friendzone is difficult (although not impossible) and drastic measures need to take place which most guys don´t do. In the friendzone, you will be used for attention, money, connections and protection as well. She will receive her boyfriend benefits and you won´t receive anything other than a pat on the head and a "good boy".
 

SW15

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If you meet a woman when you're single and she's single and you are physically attracted to her, the friend zone is an unacceptable outcome. You're either romantic/sexual partners or you're nothing.

It is acceptable to be friends or on friendly terms with the girlfriends/wives of your male friends. Maybe you can get social circle introductions to women out of them. Try for that. In most cases, those interactions won't lead to much in the way of introductions, but they can.

It is acceptable to be friends with a woman in a well established LTR, engaged, or married at the moment when you meet her. Use that to get social circle introductions if you can. Though depending on when in life you meet her, she might not have a bench of female friends/acquaintances for her to introduce to you. In that case, be cordial but don't invest too much time there.

Your male friends always take priority.

Over the years, most of my male friends have prioritized their vagina source over their friendship with me. Most men do this. Very few men are able to achieve the balance of making time for male friends and having an extended, committed relationship.

The chart below shows that social circle introductions have been declining for decades. They are still the easiest way to get into a quality, extended relationship. I believe that social circle formed couples tend to have relationships that last longer than relationships formed from other sources and overall tend to be better over the life span of the interaction.

I've been participating in the mating environment for over 20 years and had less than 5 dates lifetime result from a social circle setup. I've not really kept female friends. My friend's girlfriends/wives have been useless. A couple of acquaintances set up me on dates that went nowhere.
 

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firstbornunicorn

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Terrible advice. Got many fun lays from friends and we're still friends to this day, they pounced the minute I became single. They won't receive boyfriend benefits if you don't give them boyfriend benefits. And they won't use you for money if you don't give them money(why would you?) It's pretty simple. Don't be a limp **** loser simp and you'll be fine.

Another thing is tactical friendzone is an elite 0.1% strategy that nobody uses.
 

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Mike32ct

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Terrible advice. Got many fun lays from friends and we're still friends to this day, they pounced the minute I became single. They won't receive boyfriend benefits if you don't give them boyfriend benefits. And they won't use you for money if you don't give them money(why would you?) It's pretty simple. Don't be a limp **** loser simp and you'll be fine.

Another thing is tactical friendzone is an elite 0.1% strategy that nobody uses.
Understood. But you were dating other women off and on because they pounced when you became single. I would say that’s key.

The stereotypical friendzone guy is single* and his crush knows it. So he has a very small window to make a move on her before he ends up with a reputation as a chronically single (ie unattractive/undateable) guy.

If you have a reputation in your social circle as a guy that regularly has relationships/hookups, female friends will cut you more slack; you are probably less likely to end up in a “hard freeze” sort of friendzone.

*He might be currently in a dry spell, and his crush is unaware of his past dating history.
 
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Robert28

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99% of the time the guy doesn’t approach the girl with the intentions of being friends, that’s made up bs from women. What happens is guy meets girl, they go on a few dates (maybe date a month or two) and guy thinks things are fine and progressing. Girl suddenly says “I’m not looking for a relationship right now, still healing over my ex, let’s be friends though because I like you and enjoy hanging out with you”. Guy is friendzoned but doesn’t realize it, all he heard is “I like you, let’s take things slow” but all he’s doing is digging a deeper hole. That’s how the friendzone happens 9 times out of 10. Look, you’re 30 yrs old, any woman coming at you with any friends talk is an immature asshat that you don’t need to waste time with. Being just friends should stop after college, women still trying to reject men and be friends with men in their 30’s and behind us just immature and honestly it’s creepy. At this age you should be getting starlight forward honest rejections, not beat around the Bush mixed signals crap.
 

Robert28

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Terrible advice. Got many fun lays from friends and we're still friends to this day, they pounced the minute I became single. They won't receive boyfriend benefits if you don't give them boyfriend benefits. And they won't use you for money if you don't give them money(why would you?) It's pretty simple. Don't be a limp **** loser simp and you'll be fine.

Another thing is tactical friendzone is an elite 0.1% strategy that nobody uses.
I know some girls that would easily have you doing favors for them before you even know it. You’d probably lend them money too. You just haven’t met one that was good at manipulation, but you will eventually. If you aren’t giving boyfriend benefits or doing anything for them, I seriously doubt these women are sticking around being your friend. Women only want to be friends because they can get something out of it. That’s my point though, the goal is not to be friends with them anyways.
 

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IKO69

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If you've been 'friendzoned' because you are considered undesirable to the person, yeah, there is no point.

I have converted friendships into more, quite a bit actually. A lot of women that I know start to like me over time. Sometimes you meet them and they are already dating or whatever so there is little that you can do. Once they get out of the relationship don't be surprised if they show interest in you, assuming you've always been cool in her eyes.

You just don't want to be that guy who is a "friend" in the hopes of getting laid. Don't put yourself in that position.
 

firstbornunicorn

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I know some girls that would easily have you doing favors for them before you even know it. You’d probably lend them money too. You just haven’t met one that was good at manipulation, but you will eventually. If you aren’t giving boyfriend benefits or doing anything for them, I seriously doubt these women are sticking around being your friend. Women only want to be friends because they can get something out of it. That’s my point though, the goal is not to be friends with them anyways.
I'm not manipulatable, many have tried. If they ask for something I'm not willing to do I'll just say "no", you should try it. Also do it for girlfriends, male friends, co-workers, bosses, strangers asking for cigarettes, people making low ball offers on **** I'm selling used, etc. You know what this does? It makes it so I don't resent anyone and never feel taken advantage of. "No" is a great tool for this.

Women don't only want to be friends because they get something out of it (you might be projecting yourself and your expectations of sex here!). The goal shouldn't be to not have female friends. You have deep rooted issues that need fixing and I wish you luck :up:

Your problem is possibly that you do favors for women you're "kinda" friends with in expectation that you get sex out of it, and then you don't, so you get bitter and b1tch about it on the internet.
 

Robert28

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I'm not manipulatable, many have tried. If they ask for something I'm not willing to do I'll just say "no", you should try it. Also do it for girlfriends, male friends, co-workers, bosses, strangers asking for cigarettes, people making low ball offers on **** I'm selling used, etc. You know what this does? It makes it so I don't resent anyone and never feel taken advantage of. "No" is a great tool for this.

Women don't only want to be friends because they get something out of it (you might be projecting yourself and your expectations of sex here!). The goal shouldn't be to not have female friends. You have deep rooted issues that need fixing and I wish you luck :up:

Your problem is possibly that you do favors for women you're "kinda" friends with in expectation that you get sex out of it, and then you don't, so you get bitter and b1tch about it on the internet.
Wow that rant was straight out of the feminist playbook. You sound just like those pink haired feminist on Reddit. Women ALWAYS want to benefit from “friendship” with men. Maybe you aren’t doing favors but I bet they’re using you for validation or a therapist somehow, you just aren’t aware. Women are only good for sex as far as I’m concerned, I have no reason to be friends with them and have no desire to be. If I’m not getting sex then they aren’t in my life, it’s that simple. Try this, say “no” to those women friends you have and come back and tell us how long they stuck around. Go ahead and try it.
 

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firstbornunicorn

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Wow that rant was straight out of the feminist playbook. You sound just like those pink haired feminist on Reddit. Women ALWAYS want to benefit from “friendship” with men. Maybe you aren’t doing favors but I bet they’re using you for validation or a therapist somehow, you just aren’t aware. Women are only good for sex as far as I’m concerned, I have no reason to be friends with them and have no desire to be. If I’m not getting sex then they aren’t in my life, it’s that simple. Try this, say “no” to those women friends you have and come back and tell us how long they stuck around. Go ahead and try it.
I say no all the time, the ones who aren't after something stay, and it's the majority. I'm the only person in my friends group with a large car, so I get asked to help people move and to drive to the airport ALL the time. I always say no. There are 2 people that I would say yes to. One is my gf, and the other is a close male friend.

Just got off the phone with a chick friend and she wants to come over for dinner. She gets some company for some hours and I get food made for me.

I'm the opposite of an SJW feminist. In fact, one friend I have, when we met she said she was a feminist. I said something along the lines of "don't worry they'll find a cure". She hated my vibe for a couple days but now we're pretty close. She poses nude for me all the time.

Things aren't as black and white as you see them.

Is your mom also only good for sex?
 

Robert28

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I say no all the time, the ones who aren't after something stay, and it's the majority. I'm the only person in my friends group with a large car, so I get asked to help people move and to drive to the airport ALL the time. I always say no. There are 2 people that I would say yes to. One is my gf, and the other is a close male friend.

Just got off the phone with a chick friend and she wants to come over for dinner. She gets some company for some hours and I get food made for me.

I'm the opposite of an SJW feminist. In fact, one friend I have, when we met she said she was a feminist. I said something along the lines of "don't worry they'll find a cure". She hated my vibe for a couple days but now we're pretty close. She poses nude for me all the time.

Things aren't as black and white as you see them.

Is your mom also only good for sex?
The fact that you keep having to say no all the time is telling. They’re already testing your boundaries and youre constantly having to re-inforce them. What kind of friendship is that? Doesn’t sound like much of one to me. I sure don’t have to do that with MY friends (all guys, don’t do women friends). These women you’re constantly saying no to will eventually find the crack, it’s only a matter of time. And as for the friend coming over to cook you dinner, she’s not doing it out of the goodness of her heart, she’s up to something and I find it funny how your girlfriend seems to be perfectly ok with a woman friend coming to YOUR house to cook YOU dinner. Either you don’t have a gf or you just made up about the girl coming over to cook because in the real world that would never fly. You can have all the women friends you wish, have my share if you want, I just don’t have the want to or desire to constantly enforce boundaries with women I’m not sleeping with. It’s too much work and mental strain and it’s exhausting frankly.
 

firstbornunicorn

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The fact that you keep having to say no all the time is telling. They’re already testing your boundaries and youre constantly having to re-inforce them. What kind of friendship is that? Doesn’t sound like much of one to me. I sure don’t have to do that with MY friends (all guys, don’t do women friends). These women you’re constantly saying no to will eventually find the crack, it’s only a matter of time. And as for the friend coming over to cook you dinner, she’s not doing it out of the goodness of her heart, she’s up to something and I find it funny how your girlfriend seems to be perfectly ok with a woman friend coming to YOUR house to cook YOU dinner. Either you don’t have a gf or you just made up about the girl coming over to cook because in the real world that would never fly. You can have all the women friends you wish, have my share if you want, I just don’t have the want to or desire to constantly enforce boundaries with women I’m not sleeping with. It’s too much work and mental strain and it’s exhausting frankly.
Well, I'm glad I'm not you. Enjoy the negative mindset and potential personality disorder.
 

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Robert28

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Well, I'm glad I'm not you. Enjoy the negative mindset and potential personality disorder.
Enjoy being used and constantly having to say no to people who don’t understand what true friendship is. My negativity has prevented me from being used by women friends, so what’s so bad about that?
 

The_Hand_Of_God

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The fact that you keep having to say no all the time is telling. They’re already testing your boundaries and youre constantly having to re-inforce them. What kind of friendship is that? Doesn’t sound like much of one to me. I sure don’t have to do that with MY friends (all guys, don’t do women friends). These women you’re constantly saying no to will eventually find the crack, it’s only a matter of time. And as for the friend coming over to cook you dinner, she’s not doing it out of the goodness of her heart, she’s up to something and I find it funny how your girlfriend seems to be perfectly ok with a woman friend coming to YOUR house to cook YOU dinner. Either you don’t have a gf or you just made up about the girl coming over to cook because in the real world that would never fly. You can have all the women friends you wish, have my share if you want, I just don’t have the want to or desire to constantly enforce boundaries with women I’m not sleeping with. It’s too much work and mental strain and it’s exhausting frankly.
Agree with this. Currently friendzoned and it's exhausting pretending to not care & just in general.

No man wants to be friends with a woman deep down. Friends don't ****, and 95% of the time the man would **** his female friend. Someone will have feelings more than friends they just won't admit it.

It doesn't mean you have to be a ****, or ignore them. But just don't be a really good friend. As i am finding out, it gets annoying really fast.
 

Robert28

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Agree with this. Currently friendzoned and it's exhausting pretending to not care & just in general.

No man wants to be friends with a woman deep down. Friends don't ****, and 95% of the time the man would **** his female friend. Someone will have feelings more than friends they just won't admit it.

It doesn't mean you have to be a ****, or ignore them. But just don't be a really good friend. As i am finding out, it gets annoying really fast.
Honestly it’s best to just cut them off now. No big speech or text or give a reason. I learned the hard way that women are only friends for THEIR benefit, not yours.
 

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Dr.Suave

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Wasn´t it Rollo who wrote something along the lines of "Girls have friends and girlfriends. If you arent having sex with her, you are her girlfriend" ? I remember that line really got to me.
 
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