Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to deal with a woman who acts disrespectful then plays victim says you are too sensitive and proceeds with silent treatment

zinc4

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 17, 2007
Messages
3,093
Reaction score
1,456
This girl im dating has me over at her house this weekend been cooking for me treating me well then randomly says im acting like a little kid or child a few times about my finger that i cut deeply through the tendons 9 dats ago...... now has 6 stitches in it that are healing and im worried about possible infection as maceration has set in. The urgent care center worker who stitched it up gave me zero instructions on what to do and it ended up getting too wet the past few days under the bangafes.

Anyways, i never complain nor even talk about this with her. But today my finger gave me sone fits and me just even mentioning what im going to do with it like bandage and stuff seemed to annoy her. Although i had to listen to her complaining about having to move all week.

The first two times she said it jokingly but looked anmoyed. The 3rd time she said it with a deadpan look and genuinely annoyed.

So i said hey stop being disrespectful. How is try to be responsible about avoiding possible infection acting like a child?

So then she gets really upset looking and says don't raise your voice at me... i was just joking to try to make you feel better about it. You are too sensitive. First i never raised my voice.

Second...tis statement that she was just joking is an outright lie by the way and straight up gas lighting imo. Because she says it with such conviction that you would believe her if you didnt see what happened yourself a few mins earlier.

At that point i was genuinely pissed. I said too sensitive? You get upset if i dont text you every 5 hours and pout for days. True story.

So then she proceeds with the typical silent treatment and says nothing when asked if upset or checked on.

Another beautiful weekend turned bitter over nothing with this chick. So now she is sleeping due to being so upset. And im seriously thinking about just walking outside and bouncing. This silent treatment is incredibly immature and toxic. She will most def flip out if im gone when she wakes up but i don't see any other solution at this point. Her behavior is unacceptable and this is not the first time something like this has happened. The crazy sex is not worth tolerating disrespect on this level.
 
Last edited:

zinc4

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 17, 2007
Messages
3,093
Reaction score
1,456
Just got back home. She woke up and got angry and started crying as she saw me getting my things together then told me it was over if i am willing to leave her so easily. So i just looked at her and said yeah and walked out. Hate it because i gradually been dropping my plates for her. Prob the first mistake. Will start meeting new women immediately.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,206
Reaction score
4,951
Walk out dude. Don't get sucked into an argument or her getting an emotional reaction from you.

Her saying "oh your willing to go so easily" simply translates to, I need to manipulate & gaslight you into sticking around & tolerating all my childish BS.. Shaming language at its best.

You did right by walking away!
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
1,600
Reaction score
3,308
Age
47
Nice job. You made the right decision. This girl is what is known as a "High Conflict Personality" or HCP.

She hit on a lot of the most common characteristics:
1. Seems to be constantly complaining or criticizing (not just you but anything) - there's always some kind of problem/issue/grudge/fight they stir up.
2. Won't listen to or accept your communicated boundaries and instead pushes back on you and wants to debate or argue.
3. Gas lighting. Claiming her motives were other than they really were, claiming YOU are being too this or that (sensitive in this case), that you raised your voice when you didn't.
4. Overly emotional and uses emotions as a way to manipulate (crying, anger, etc)

I also find these women like to bluff - like this:
She woke up and got angry and started crying as she saw me getting my things together then told me it was over if i am willing to leave her so easily.
She'll definitely be calling you begging you back shortly (if she hasn't already), and will likely oscillate between first being angry and trying to demand you get back with her and telling you how terrible you are, and when that doesn't work, will start trying to sweet talk you and say whatever she thinks you want to hear in order for her to get her foot back in your door, and when that doesn't work, it will cycle back to the anger/blaming/insults and on and on. These women are nuts - they want to hate you while not losing you at the same time. Totally dysfunctional. There are only two ways relationships with these woman look like:
1. You stay with them and let them control you and agree to everything they say, and then they hate you and dump you and/or cheat on you because you're weak and a pushover and it turns them off
2. You put up boundaries and they fight you over them, then you walk out and they beg you back. You can date a girl like this as long as YOU choose - your walking out only furthers her attraction and also her anger and anxiety. The sex is usually next level in this kind of dynamic. Very unhealthy though and a waste of your time.

I said too sensitive? You get upset if i dont text you every 5 hours and pout for days. True story.
I wouldn't bother with this in the future. I make the same mistake myself sometimes because I am a man and I am logical and I can see the blatant hypocrisy in what she is saying to me and I want to prove her wrong but one of the toughest things to accept is that it doesn't work and you won't get through to her. She's not using facts, logic, or reason. These women make up alternate realities and alternate histories and situations in their heads and they fully believe them. So I've found it best to just put your boundary out there and if she pushes back on it, instead of arguing with her or countering her, I will just say, "Listen, I've told you how I feel and what I consider acceptable. I'm not going to debate that with you. You can either accept it or not, but if you don't accept it then I'm leaving," and if she continues to try to engage you in an argument, well that's a second boundary she has crossed so I just tell her I'm leaving.

So then she proceeds with the typical silent treatment and says nothing when asked if upset or checked on.
Even if she isn't HCP, silent treatment is a huge red flag and women who use it should be immediately nexted.

Again, great job on holding your line, communicating it, and walking out when she violated it.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
This. It’s SO easy to spot these types of women. Another dead give away is they talk about all their exes in the most negative way (sometimes even claiming THEY were the narcissist). I had a girl I was seeing for maybe 3 weeks, she bought some very expensive concert tickets for us 3 months away, didn’t even ask me. Before that she was planning on us going to trips to the mountains and stuff, just moving 100mph. When I ended it she didn’t have any self reflection at all, she became the most cold human being imaginable. Miserable cvnt of a woman.
 

typical

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
241
Location
Auckland, New Zealand
Thanks for letting me know im not crazy guys lol. Some people not only women are so damn good at gaslighting it's nuts. It's like they try to suck you into their demented little reality.
Oh boy I could tell you some stories from a decade or so ago . Glad you walked man. At first I was like “WTF is zinc doing posting this question ??” “Man should know better”.

But the reality is no matter how experienced or how red pill aware we are we can all fall into traps like this especially if the sex is kinky and really good. That horniness sometimes blocks the logic.
 

andreihaha

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
870
Reaction score
840
Age
30
You did the right thing.
Also, I don't know why some guys get so annoyed when women give them the silent treatment.

If you don't talk to a woman, she'll be in pain. Words are like rewards for them. But at the end of the day, most guys just want to relax in peace.

I do understand disrespect tho.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
4,953
Reaction score
4,773
Age
32
Location
Eye of the storm
Also, I don't know why some guys get so annoyed when women give them the silent treatment.
Me neither. I'm a nice guy, if they don't want to talk then I'm more than happy to grant them their wish by never talking to them again.

They probably imagine the guy will come grovelling at her feet, well, not this guy.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,293
Reaction score
4,811
Age
44
This girl im dating has me over at her house this weekend been cooking for me treating me well then randomly says im acting like a little kid or child a few times about my finger that i cut deeply through the tendons 9 dats ago...... now has 6 stitches in it that are healing and im worried about possible infection as maceration has set in. The urgent care center worker who stitched it up gave me zero instructions on what to do and it ended up getting too wet the past few days under the bangafes.

Anyways, i never complain nor even talk about this with her. But today my finger gave me sone fits and me just even mentioning what im going to do with it like bandage and stuff seemed to annoy her. Although i had to listen to her complaining about having to move all week.

The first two times she said it jokingly but looked anmoyed. The 3rd time she said it with a deadpan look and genuinely annoyed.

So i said hey stop being disrespectful. How is try to be responsible about avoiding possible infection acting like a child?

So then she gets really upset looking and says don't raise your voice at me... i was just joking to try to make you feel better about it. You are too sensitive. First i never raised my voice.

Second...tis statement that she was just joking is an outright lie by the way and straight up gas lighting imo. Because she says it with such conviction that you would believe her if you didnt see what happened yourself a few mins earlier.

At that point i was genuinely pissed. I said too sensitive? You get upset if i dont text you every 5 hours and pout for days. True story.

So then she proceeds with the typical silent treatment and says nothing when asked if upset or checked on.

Another beautiful weekend turned bitter over nothing with this chick. So now she is sleeping due to being so upset. And im seriously thinking about just walking outside and bouncing. This silent treatment is incredibly immature and toxic. She will most def flip out if im gone when she wakes up but i don't see any other solution at this point. Her behavior is unacceptable and this is not the first time something like this has happened. The crazy sex is not worth tolerating disrespect on this level.
I would downgrade her to a booty call. Just call her up every 2 weeks to bang, then kick her out.
 

zinc4

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 17, 2007
Messages
3,093
Reaction score
1,456
Oh boy I could tell you some stories from a decade or so ago . Glad you walked man. At first I was like “WTF is zinc doing posting this question ??” “Man should know better”.

But the reality is no matter how experienced or how red pill aware we are we can all fall into traps like this especially if the sex is kinky and really good. That horniness sometimes blocks the logic.

Yep exactly
 

mrskinnypantz

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2021
Messages
447
Reaction score
336
Age
31
next the hell out of this b1tch , i recently broke my shoulder on a skateboard and i had a woman tell me to stop skateboarding , i told her no
she then proceeded to tell me ''not to complain when i hurt myself to her'' (its ok to laugh at that)
i nexted because i know how this other woman was treating me a couple weeks back after i got a mere cut, she was all over me , taking care of the cut and cleaning it for me . this is what you are looking for , even if this b1tch was joking with me about not complaining to her its distasteful and shows too much arrogance and a lack of affection.
i want a b1tch thats gonna be cookin for me icing my injuries and acting concerned. cause it feels good .
 

Zimbabwe

Banned
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
2,411
Reaction score
3,136
Age
27
These kind of women make you feel guilty for breaking up, they suck you back in and the whole process repeats again.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,147
Location
DFW, TX
Thanks for letting me know im not crazy guys lol. Some people not only women are so damn good at gaslighting it's nuts. It's like they try to suck you into their demented little reality.
Degrees of lying. Some of them are a majority of lies and deception so you have to label them as such and leave alone.
 
Top