Alone and Marriage

[zekko]

Watched the season finale of Alone last night. The winner of the show was a guy called Clay. He said he had two sons and had been with his wife for 23 years, since they were both 17. He referred to her as his "right hand". I suppose some here would consider this guy some kind of loser for staying with one woman that long. And maybe he'll end up getting blindsided in another five years, who knows? But it does show that marriage can work for some people.

In fact, my observation of couples that have successfully stayed together the longest are couples like this. Couples who have been together since high school, got married early on, and have stayed together ever since. I guess they missed a lot of random hookups over the years, but I think that's part of the formula. These spouses are kind of like best friends that you find early in life, and value them accordingly. This guy was also a military vet, and a lot of those guys seem to value traditional families highly.

Alone is a show where they drop contestants off in the wilderness late in the year, and they have to live off the land, each one alone and filming themselves, for as long as they can. The one who lasts the longest wins, in this case $500,000.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I love that show. Also really liked Survivor Man back in the day.

In fact, my observation of couples that have successfully stayed together the longest are couples like this. Couples who have been together since high school, got married early on, and have stayed together ever since.

Same observation here. Nearly all the couples I know who really do seem like best friends got together in high-school or college at the latest. There are some exceptions but very few. A very close friend of mine got together with his now wife at 20yo. They have one of the best relationships I have seen. Another friend's older sister has been with her husband since the two of them were in middle-school.

One exception is another friend of mine who got married just a few years ago (at about 40yo). They are definitely best friends and I doubt anything will ever come between them. That's rare though.

 

[BadBoy89]

These spouses are kind of like best friends that you find early in life, and value them accordingly. This guy was also a military vet, and a lot of those guys seem to value traditional families highly.

What value does a wife give after she has kids?

I think a lot of men value traditional families. The issue is society and women don’t value it and the man can get destroyed if and when the wife decides she wants out.

I could never be best friends with a girl. She is there to get pregnant and stick her tongue down my throat, not to share secrets with.

But to each his own.

 

[zekko]

What value does a wife give after she has kids?

She's the mother of your children, for one. The guy I talked about in the original post definitely seemed to value his wife. Ideally, a wife will act as a life partner, and you are on the same team, especially if you have the common goal of raising a family.

I agree a lot of men value traditional families, but that has been disrupted by women and present day politics and entitlements.
I'm not advocating marriage here, just making an observation that the couples I've seen stay together are those that have dated since high school.

 

[metalwater]

Watched the season finale of Alone last night. The winner of the show was a guy called Clay. He said he had two sons and had been with his wife for 23 years, since they were both 17. He referred to her as his "right hand". I suppose some here would consider this guy some kind of loser for staying with one woman that long. And maybe he'll end up getting blindsided in another five years, who knows? But it does show that marriage can work for some people.

In fact, my observation of couples that have successfully stayed together the longest are couples like this. Couples who have been together since high school, got married early on, and have stayed together ever since. I guess they missed a lot of random hookups over the years, but I think that's part of the formula. These spouses are kind of like best friends that you find early in life, and value them accordingly. This guy was also a military vet, and a lot of those guys seem to value traditional families highly.

Alone is a show where they drop contestants off in the wilderness late in the year, and they have to live off the land, each one alone and filming themselves, for as long as they can. The one who lasts the longest wins, in this case $500,000.

the ones that stick that I have been aware of either live remote such as running a large farm or they move often and only stay in one location for a year or two. the thing about both of those types of situations is that the woman does not get into competing for status because she is busy working for survival (even if they have plenty, the mindset is still in survival mode). it is basic psychology stuff, if she is stuck in survival focus it can be stable. As soon as she is feeling safe, her need moves to the need for attention and admiration for herself. managing the environment is the key. it's all about the woman's interest in the man, if she continues to feel the need for him for her survival it's going to last and last forever as she will continue to make him feel good. success doesn't have as much to do with the man as we tell, it has more to do with the environment, but the man can manage that IF he is aware.

 

[zekko]

the ones that stick that I have been aware of either live remote such as running a large farm or they move often and only stay in one location for a year or two. the thing about both of those types of situations is that the woman does not get into competing for status because she is busy working for survival

Interesting. This is what they said about the Alone winner, from the History.com website:
"Clay lives with his wife Liz and two sons, Coye and Fen, on their homestead in North Idaho. Together they hunt, fish, forage and grow a large garden."

He is listed as a professional bowyer and hunter. If they're on a homestead, it's a good chance they live a pretty isolated life. They may even homeschool the children, although this is just speculation. In which case, she probably stays home to raise and help school the kids. If all that is true, that supports your theory. Having that money should be a big boon to staying isolated. From what I can tell, to live well off the grid it helps to have money (to buy land, tools, and supplies).

I don't think there's a foolproof way to keep a relationship going, unfortunately. It can't be when two people are involved, because one person can always change, or want to go in a different direction. It takes a combination of skill and luck.

 

[Machine10033]

There are great chicks out there. Some dudes bag and fag them early and they vanish. They are into supporting their family and husbands purpose. You won’t find them out at bars or clubs... they are not looking for a side fling for validation... These girls are gone in their early 20’s. If your in your 30’s and older your likely to find mostly garbage. That’s just my observation...

 

[oldmanofthesea]

There are great chicks out there. Some dudes bag and fag them early and they vanish. They are into supporting their family and husbands purpose. You won’t find them out at bars or clubs... they are not looking for a side fling for validation... These girls are gone in their early 20’s. If your in your 30’s and older your likely to find mostly garbage. That’s just my observation...

This has been my observation as well. Dating over 30 (and especially over 40) is like rooting around through a garbage dump looking for the least broken and disgusting thing. Most of what I find are women who can't hold down a relationship because they are nuts - in my own case, it's High Conflict Personality women who probably have NPD or BPD. In the 5 years since my divorce, there have been only two quality women I have met and dated. One was 23 and the other 24. I met one just walking down the street and the other at the grocery store.

You can listen to dozens of stories on REDIT? Stories about high school sweethearts living life only to find out that her dualistic sexual strategy (biology) has circumvented the relationship.

Absolutely - Reddit, here and even from friends. But I think the observation Zekko was making was that out of all the relationships that DO end up working out, it is usually high-school or college sweethearts. Those are the couples who have the highest chance of success.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There are great chicks out there. Some dudes bag and fag them early and they vanish. They are into supporting their family and husbands purpose. You won’t find them out at bars or clubs... they are not looking for a side fling for validation... These girls are gone in their early 20’s. If your in your 30’s and older your likely to find mostly garbage. That’s just my observation...

Seasoned daters

 

[metalwater]

There are great chicks out there. Some dudes bag and fag them early and they vanish. They are into supporting their family and husbands purpose. You won’t find them out at bars or clubs... they are not looking for a side fling for validation... These girls are gone in their early 20’s. If your in your 30’s and older your likely to find mostly garbage. That’s just my observation...

If the girl is good... or as best you know she does what she should and its all good. take a break from watching the girl and look at the guy she is with and see what is he doing. best advice is from someone who is winning. if the women are all hoes and not what you want, don't follow the advice of the guy that has them. if you want high notch, follow the advice of men that have it, or much better watch them and do what they do. If wanting a solid LTR, watch the guys that have it.