Overly flirtatious 54 yo Cougar. She lives 30 mins away? Am I suppose to follow up her vague counter offers?

[corona20]

Hi guys

From what i heard, cougars don't play games.

Anyway to make this short

I've asked her out i'd say 3 times over the course of 2 years at work. We flirt heavy.. we talk we joke we tease super smoothly.
Example: She'd ask me to reach down her pocket to get clean gloves because the gloves she has on are dirty and didn't want to take them off.


I've asked her out in person and via text id say 4 times now total over 2 year span. She would NEVER COUNTER OFFER on the spot. BUT the next time i see her should would make a SUBLIMINIAL/Vague COUNTER OFFER. She makes me feel like i have to follow up her vague counter offers but i don't go for it

Example 1: (2 years ago)
Me: Hey, i got suite room at this casino you should check it out (no we haven't had sex) via text
Cougar: You aren't wasting time are you, I am with my friends at the casino near my house bla bla.


Example: 2
Day 1
Me. Hey, how about you cook I come over and bring wine?
Cougar: Aren't you afraid of corona?
Me: Just spray it with disinfectant and we good.
Cougar: haha
Me: (I wait.. for her to say something back...but nothing so I just left it)

Day2 (next day)
Cougar: you can come over but you can't spend the night
Me: Who said I was going to spend the night? (waiting for her to say something back with her counter then..convo just drifted)

Example 3
She invited me to a social wine tasting event 2 weeks before the event and she knew I'm not down with mass social gatherings due to the pandemic. So i didn't go to that....but i countered her with (hey, if you're in my area that night, lets meet up)

Note that I didn't want to drive up there

Example 4

Day 1
Me "Come join me play poker maybe you might learn new hobby, if you aren't doing anything tomorrow
Cougar: "Oh, what time? im afraid i might get addicted. (she spends 20 seconds checking something on her phone) Btw I have work, look, see, i want you to know i'm not lying. Look at my phone my schedule says i have work tomorrow"

Day B (next day)
Cougar: "bla bla bla, so are we going to wear mask when we go out?"

Again, it feels like she's trying to make me counter her "VAGUE COUNTER OFFERS with no date or time" It really feels like she's dangling the carrot butI don't go for them

Question is:
1. Am I just trying to play it TOOO COOOL like a p00syor something?
2. Is she just not interested?

tnx

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So you start your post out by saying you know they don't play games when interested, but then give multiple examples where she plays games.

What do you think this means?

 

[corona20]

would those be considered games though she's doing? I am lost in this. Just needed some outside opinions.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

would those be considered games though she's doing? I am lost in this. Just needed some outside opinions.

You offered to meet 3 times and none of those times has she met. How is it anything else? You are deluding yourself that flirting at work means she wants something more. Sometimes that IS the case but oftentimes it just makes the day interesting and fun and they have zero interest outside of that.

Also if you are in the US you are really not too smart to be setting yourself up for a sexual harassment charge at work. And over a 54 year old?? C'mon man...this is just mind boggling. Do you have this few options you are scraping the bottom of the barrel and risking being unemployable??

 

[2Rocky]

Sounds like an AW to me. Your best bet is to forget about her and date her niece (someone younger who doesn't work for the company).....

I can honestly say I've been with some cougars and they don't F around when they are interested. What she's doing is keeping your interest for when she doesn't have other options and getting her dopamine from your attention. In sales terms she's tire kicking with no intent to buy.

 

[corona20]

Are there really an attention wh0re COUGARs??. My logic told me she's interested because COUGARS don't register as an attention ***** in my head!!!! But I guess now, I have to????????? So it was mind shattering to me.. dang. I mean, I've been with a cougar who straight up added me on facebook and ****ed her on the first date. SHe's a dealer at a local casino but looked me up on facebook lol.

But, thats some hardcore fliring she's doing man.. ill be honest, its a bit tough in this pandemic.... I stopped with the paying attention AGAIN with her. I did stop for 1 year then she asked me out to that wine event.

Whenever the subject steers into the way of "flirty area" i bring up church stuff or anything neutral

 

[corona20]

Sounds like an AW to me. Your best bet is to forget about her and date her niece (someone younger who doesn't work for the company).....

I can honestly say I've been with some cougars and they don't F around when they are interested. What she's doing is keeping your interest for when she doesn't have other options and getting her dopamine from your attention. In sales terms she's tire kicking with no intent to buy.

She comes in twice a week and i work with her 25 minutes each session to give patient a shower

 

[corona20]

so, anyone else here experienced something similar?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

so, anyone else here experienced something similar?

Bro, get some other options. This woman is not interested in you and you are going to look desperate if you keep trying. Pull back hard.

 

[corona20]

Bro, get some other options. This woman is not interested in you and you are going to look desperate if you keep trying. Pull back hard.

yes, i tried hard not to look desperate that is why i didn't follow through her vague counter offers. I have pulled back smoothly but not obvious pull back. I don't want to look like a butthurt dude at the same time. I am working on myself again running/working out and be in best shape ever.

 

[SargeMaximus]

When she invited you over I would have said : cool, sounds good, what’s the address?

then I would have gone and escalated to sex or a rejection then move on

 

[2Rocky]

I pulled the same $hit (that she is doing) on an older woman who I didn't really find that attractive.

When I finished my beer and began bidding everyone farewell, she set down her half finished beer, and said "I'll walk out with you".

Out in the parking lot she positioned herself in front of me hand on her hip, and a grin and said "So what's your story?"
I replied " what story?"
"Women....what's your situation? "

I grinned back at her and said "Well, I'm in a Long distance relationship."
to which she replied "Ok, I'm sorry to hear that. Well let me know when ....errr. I mean IF that changes. I'm interested."

I thanked her and got in my truck flattered but kind of embarrassed that I led her on. I feel a little guilty about toying with her emotions, but I'm also curious if she is going to back off, or continue with the press...I'm definitely going to be a little more conscious about how I interact with women at these events, so as not to be labelled a creep, or a player. There had already been some inquiry among people if I was dating a woman in the group.

 

[Who Dares Win]

She is 54 yrs old, unless you're a male nurse or you sell assistance to elderly people, you have no reason to follow up any counter offer wheter vague or not.

 

[nismo-4]

If you believe that cougars and milfs don't play games, I got oceanfront properties in Kansas and Nebraska to sell you.

All women play games. They obviously see you as Bob or John instead of Chad or Tyrone. Your M.O. should be comply or bye. This is why in 2021, men need to adopt the one strike rule. Get sexual from the get-go. If she rejects or balks, cut her off.

Vague counter offers and mixed signals are negative signals. And they want you to chase. Think these cougars would do this to Lebron James, Dwayne Johnson, or Jason Momoa? Exactly, they wouldn't. And you wouldn't do things to mess up a double date with Shakira and Katy Perry.

Case closed. Level up. You can do better than feeding attention wh0res.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

When she invited you over I would have said : cool, sounds good, what’s the address?

then I would have gone and escalated to sex or a rejection then move on

Seconded. She was somewhat but not overly interested; she gave you a shot and you blew it. Always go for the kill when you have the opporunity.

 

[corona20]

thanks for feeedback. Much appreciated

 

[corona20]

If you believe that cougars and milfs don't play games, I got oceanfront properties in Kansas and Nebraska to sell you.

All women play games. They obviously see you as Bob or John instead of Chad or Tyrone. Your M.O. should be comply or bye. This is why in 2021, men need to adopt the one strike rule. Get sexual from the get-go. If she rejects or balks, cut her off.

Vague counter offers and mixed signals are negative signals. And they want you to chase. Think these cougars would do this to Lebron James, Dwayne Johnson, or Jason Momoa? Exactly, they wouldn't. And you wouldn't do things to mess up a double date with Shakira and Katy Perry.

Case closed. Level up. You can do better than feeding attention wh0res.

yeah, i wouldn't have tried 2nd or 3rd time IF I had known about "COUGAR'S DON'T PLAY GAMES". I guess they do. Now i know for sure. tnx

 

[Mike32ct]

Older women can sometimes play more games.

They can be very torn/conflicted between a) being attracted to a younger guy vs b) the “I don’t do THAT anymore” feeling/belief.

So they can end up just flirting and being all talk and no action.

 

[SW15]

From what i heard, cougars don't play games.

Not exactly correct. A woman in her 30s-40s will typical make men close to her own age work hard to get her vagina but she won't play games with substantial younger men. It is easier to have sex with a 35 year old woman as a 24 year old man than as a 37 year old man.

 

[corona20]

Not exactly correct. A woman in her 30s-40s will typical make men close to her own age work hard to get her vagina but she won't play games with substantial younger men. It is easier to have sex with a 35 year old woman as a 24 year old man than as a 37 year old man.

talking about women in 50s here