"Game" at a new workplace

[MT93]

As a man who has been in this situation, many, many, times.

One piece of advice.. - DO NOT DO IT

 

[manfrombelow]

As a man who has been in this situation, many, many, times.

One piece of advice.. - DO NOT DO IT

The problem with young, inexperienced, and horny men who most likely have an scarcity mindset is the fact they think the bad things (that were warned by others) would never happen to them - until they do.

 

[bat soup]

Hello, guys. Hope you are doing good!

I have a new job and there are a lot of women around, most of whom - attractive. We are in the same office, but in different teams (pairs). I find 3 or 4 girls attractive and some of them have interest in me too. We have talked a little bit, mostly work-related stuff. At times I didn't feel and appear fully confident but I guess It's okay since It's a new environment and out of my comfort zone. I still have time to bound and build relationships.

What's the plan to gain status in the place and eventually date a girl from there? I would be thankful if anyone who had experience in similar situations share what they did right, what wrong etc. I would really like to build good connections and date a girl from there. Since we are in different teams, I don't think It would be a problem to our work if the relationship fails. (thinking way too ahead but ey..)

Of course people will tell you not to shiitt where you eat etc, but since you're going to do it anyway...

Firstly, let's look at what could go wrong. You could get accused of harassment if they don't like you and don't appreciate the way you approach them. Or the opposite could happen and a girl could become obsessed with you and then kochblock you, stalk you and passive aggressively attack you when you try to move on. Or you could become obsessed with a girl and be forced to watch her hooking up with other guys in the office.

On the other hand if you don't make a move, then you could be forced to watch these girls hooking up with other guys in front of you and end up feeling like you're missing out. And if you're too subtle, you could be seen as a nice guy and put in the friend zone.

So let's just say you have to be extra careful in how you go about things. On the one hand you don't want to be seen as the nice guy friend by being too indirect, but you can't be too explicit either because that could get you into trouble. And if the relationship goes wrong, there is potential that it could affect your career and your daily life in a way that it wouldn't if you were dealing with a girl from outside of work.

 

[ubercat]

Yea. I ve done it too. Consequence of getting old you ve done most stupid things. Exciting for a while and then of course the blackmail and drama started. Good luck you re going to need it.

 

[Redwolf]

Public Service Announcement:

Everybody quit posting this 'holier than thou' crap about not trying to get with a girl he works with. @Barrister, you're cool, obv.

In every single thread, there's always that ONE guy who has to be all high and mighty and give us his philosophy about things.

Just answer the guy's question.

He asked how to go about proceeding with one of the lovely ladies he works with.

He didn't ask if it was a good idea. He asked for specifics on HOW to go about gaming one of them.

@crowolf Do what I advised you to do earlier in this thread.

Amen to this. I couldn't have said it better.

 

[soulforge]

You don't mess with workplace women.

Because workplace romance only brings drama and severe consequences, especially in this time and age of crazy feminism and MeToo movement. And most of the times, if not all the times, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I'm talking as someone who got sexually involved with workplace romance before, and 100% regretted that I was.

It's as simple as that.

I have a similar situation right now.. I have stopped talking to her.. I see her around pretty much every day.. It's not easy, as some days she looks good, and I want to smash it.

She has tried to talk to me a few times in work, I give her a minute of my time and simply move the fuk on.. It's never worth it.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Get "friends" with them so you can turn their girl friend contacts (Not working at your job ofc), into plates and smash them instead if they're friends are hotties... That's what I would try to do if anything..

 

[SW15]

You don't mess with workplace women.

Because workplace romance only brings drama and severe consequences, especially in this time and age of crazy feminism and MeToo movement. And most of the times, if not all the times, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I'm talking as someone who got sexually involved with workplace romance before, and 100% regretted that I was.

It's as simple as that.

In some jobs, it can be ok to hit on co-workers (mainly service sector jobs like retail stores where typical lengths of employment are not long term). If you plan on any sort of longevity at the job, don't bother looking for sexual and romance options at the workplace. There's one exception in white collar, longer term career type work, as I'll detail below.

In white collar, If a man quits a job for another job and looking for sex, he is more likely to hit on female co-workers as he's walking out the door. With the pandemic reducing in-person interaction, this is happening less now, as are voluntary quits. A man laid off (more common in the pandemic) won't hit on a female layoff survivor, and he has a weakened SMV position. A male layoff survivor is more likely to hit on a female layoff victim but with less in-person interaction in white collar, this happens less.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

In white collar, If a man quits a job for another job and looking for sex, he is more likely to hit on female co-workers as he's walking out the door.

Ye in this feminist time and freaking #metoo crap they will likely lie too about you done something bad which you never have done to your boss and authorities = You will lose your job and might also be arrested for all types of bat sh'it crazy crap.

 

[jimwho]

What ever you do, within three working days every female in every department will know every move you made, bad or good. And let this sink in. Women tell stories, they fabricate and exaggerate just so the gossip is more interesting. THEN as each girl tells the next, what ever happened gets more and more distorted. So you better be a super-hero!

And if you are the office stud, and you bag three or so girls. (THATS WHEN THE REAL NIGHTMARE BEGINS)...

 

[bat soup]

Get "friends" with them so you can turn their girl friend contacts (Not working at your job ofc), into plates and smash them instead if they're friends are hotties... That's what I would try to do if anything..

I definitely wouldn't do that. Being friends with women you want to bang always works out badly.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I definitely wouldn't do that. Being friends with women you want to bang always works out badly.

The point is that you do not want to bang them....

 

[SW15]

I definitely wouldn't do that. Being friends with women you want to bang always works out badly.

I agree. Limit interaction to just acquaintance level, keeping open the possibility of a bang later.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hello, guys. Hope you are doing good!

I have a new job and there are a lot of women around, most of whom - attractive. We are in the same office, but in different teams (pairs). I find 3 or 4 girls attractive and some of them have interest in me too. We have talked a little bit, mostly work-related stuff. At times I didn't feel and appear fully confident but I guess It's okay since It's a new environment and out of my comfort zone. I still have time to bound and build relationships.

What's the plan to gain status in the place and eventually date a girl from there? I would be thankful if anyone who had experience in similar situations share what they did right, what wrong etc. I would really like to build good connections and date a girl from there. Since we are in different teams, I don't think It would be a problem to our work if the relationship fails. (thinking way too ahead but ey..)

Game at work is trash. That's lazy and short sighted. I am not going to lie. I have at one point or another have but my game is not trash. Most guys have no game or its trash. You could be a outlier.

If your sourcing relies on a warm approach on your workplace you likely need a better way forward. most guys rely on OLD or something else like work or social circle.

 

[SW15]

Game at work is trash. That's lazy and short sighted. I am not going to lie. I have at one point or another have but my game is not trash. Most guys have no game or its trash. You could be a outlier.

If your sourcing relies on a warm approach on your workplace you likely need a better way forward. most guys rely on OLD or something else like work or social circle.

I agree that looking for romance at the workplace is lazy and short sighted. Let's look at why men would be inclined to do this. First, look at swipe apps now and websites in the 2000s/early 2010s. That avenue is quite difficult. Now, you'll get to do a lot of swiping and texting. Most men have a match percentage on their swipes that is a fraction of 1%. Then the number of matches that will respond to a message after a mutual match is a fraction of that. Then the women who will agree to a date and show for up that date is a fraction of that. The women who show up to a date and then that date results in sex is a fraction of that. A man might have to swipe on 500 women to get 2-3 "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates and maybe over 1,000 women to get sex. It might be less than 1,000 if he's willing to dumpster dive.

When you think of it like that, you can see why a guy might want to explore something with a woman when he gets some face time with her regularly and he's forced to work so he can pay his rent/mortgage or other bills. There's a perceived convenience as compared to swipe apps.

Cold approaching isn't much better than swipe apps. There are times where you'll be standing out on a walking path or the street for hours and might not get much of anything, like going fishing for 4-5 hours on a lake or in a river and not having many fish to show for it. The same thing can happen in the grocery store or the mall.

Doing things like participating in co-ed sports leagues are fairly time consuming. Going to fitness classes involves 45-60 minutes of class, and then 15-30 minutes of getting dress, ready, and driving to the gym/studio location for about 10 mins of a window of face time for approaching (5 mins before class, 5 mins after).

To approach women in a workplace, you don't have to do much else other than show up for work, which you do to pay your bills.

 

[gabvfx]

I wouldn't , its recipe for trouble later down the road. Specially talking to several at the workplace.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I agree that looking for romance at the workplace is lazy and short sighted. Let's look at why men would be inclined to do this. First, look at swipe apps now and websites in the 2000s/early 2010s. That avenue is quite difficult. Now, you'll get to do a lot of swiping and texting. Most men have a match percentage on their swipes that is a fraction of 1%. Then the number of matches that will respond to a message after a mutual match is a fraction of that. Then the women who will agree to a date and show for up that date is a fraction of that. The women who show up to a date and then that date results in sex is a fraction of that. A man might have to swipe on 500 women to get 2-3 "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates and maybe over 1,000 women to get sex. It might be less than 1,000 if he's willing to dumpster dive.

When you think of it like that, you can see why a guy might want to explore something with a woman when he gets some face time with her regularly and he's forced to work so he can pay his rent/mortgage or other bills. There's a perceived convenience as compared to swipe apps.

Cold approaching isn't much better than swipe apps. There are times where you'll be standing out on a walking path or the street for hours and might not get much of anything, like going fishing for 4-5 hours on a lake or in a river and not having many fish to show for it. The same thing can happen in the grocery store or the mall.

Doing things like participating in co-ed sports leagues are fairly time consuming. Going to fitness classes involves 45-60 minutes of class, and then 15-30 minutes of getting dress, ready, and driving to the gym/studio location for about 10 mins of a window of face time for approaching (5 mins before class, 5 mins after).

To approach women in a workplace, you don't have to do much else other than show up for work, which you do to pay your bills.

Unless it's not a career path and it's not going to affect your long term prospects, it's not ideal. I don't disagree with you on sourcing. I over heard women today getting my morning coffee about some creepy guy trying to talk to her. I'm am convinced she's near 40 but with a ego of a newly 18yr old girl. no prize. This is what fellas are competing for.

 

[TheGambino]

Been there done that. Absolutley don't do it. Don't sh1t where you eat. Don't date coworkers, period.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I wouldn't , its recipe for trouble later down the road. Specially talking to several at the workplace.

+1

Agreed. Our parents did but times were different. It's the time of false allegations after only fans sex worker swallows and doesn't have a ring. Women are barbaric today. given how trash most guy's Game is I don't suggest approaching at work. I have in my lifetime but.

 

[soulforge]

Been there done that. Absolutley don't do it. Don't sh1t where you eat. Don't date coworkers, period.

Gambino didn't you have have a fuked up situation with a worker recently.