How much she initiates, shows a womans IL

[crosscheck1331]

I don't think I do anything special guys and truthfully that post wasn't like a pat on the back or a subtle brag. It happens sometimes - it's not a regular thing. Honestly I don't think I am really all that great. Was just to show how it simply happens - There are other instances and there have probably been many other situations that weren't as direct that I happened to miss. If it happens to me i'm sure it happens to most guys, they just aren't aware of the opportunities. You basically have to keep your eyes peeled, but the point was if the girl had decided she liked you for whatever reason you will usually know (and often times it is absent of any kind of game). Typically it won't be this huge guessing game that spans for months etc.

Yes, keeping them interested afterwards is another topic for discussion but I have found that we already know the answers usually. We know how it is we should act but often overthink things. For me it's to maintain a strong persona - I generally try to stay the same as I did in the beginning. I am pretty easy going & carefree most of the time but very direct in serious matters. I've found this is what women like - they like a guy who is easy going but is still "the guy" when it comes down to it - you have to lead her when need be and not shrink in her presence.

 

[flowtheory]

@TheProspect laid it out well. As well as some other posters.

-If she is receptive this is always gold. Pay the most attention to this

-If she cares, she will check in, in a non-needy way, but more roundabout. But you’ll know.

-a quality woman wants to be led, so you can’t be lazy, it’s a never-ending cycle of the man having to put himself out there first. It has to do with her wanting to feel like a woman (tell all her friends and mom you have a plan for the two of you; makes her excited and juicy)
A weak fragile ego man will resent this part of having to continually ‘go first’.

-needier women will chase but they will probably resent you for it lol

 

[BadBoy89]

Gauge a women's interest level by her receptivity, not her level of initiation -- especially early on. A secure, interested quality women will be receptive to your leadership when you take action and pursue. A needy, insecure interested woman will "chase" -- she needs the validation now, hence the initiation.

I would disagree.

In determining a woman‘s interest level in 2020, initiation means much more than compliance. The reasons behind her initiation are irrelevant, it could be justified as she’s in love or she’s insecure. The fact that the women initiates herself means the man has the upper hand, his value is higher than hers.

Now if she is receptive, that could mean anything. She is bored, she wants entertainment, she wants a free lunch, she feels sorry for the guy, the alpha male she wants is busy, etc. I’ve had so so many women comply, and it means nothing to them. They are just killing time, waiting for the guy they are in love with to break up with their girlfriend.

Every interested chick that chased me turned out to be needy or eventually displayed major red flags, low quality. The higher quality chicks that were interested in me required a bit of work, effort, and the ability to lead in my part. Nothing easily had is worth having.

I don’t know what a quality woman is, but my experience has been the opposite. When a woman chased me, she was in love and the power was in my hands. Got me some hot women. I’ve never been successful pursing or initiating.

Men, the woman have to come to you. Following your lead means nothing in 2020.

 

[flowtheory]

In determining a woman‘s interest level in 2020, initiation means much more than compliance. The reasons behind her initiation are irrelevant, it could be justified as she’s in love or she’s insecure. The fact that the women initiates herself means the man has the upper hand, his value is higher than hers.

Now if she is receptive, that could mean anything. She is bored, she wants entertainment, she wants a free lunch, she feels sorry for the guy, the alpha male she wants is busy, etc.

A woman who is bored, waiting for alpha, etc etc could still initiate. Technically says nothing. But compliance could say nothing too.

I think one could distort both initiation or compliance to their personal bias or theory. The key is in the nuances of how she acts on the date with you and if there is progression and escalation. That’s the only real determinant of her interest. Everything else can just be conversation on SoSuave.

Generally speaking both are good. And if a woman is putting herself in positions to be be near you through compliance or initiation, I guess it really doesn’t matter what’s better.

Both are ideal. Keeps it fresh.

 

[TheProspect]

I would disagree.

Perhaps your disagreement is minor semantics. Let's unpack what you said and find out. Before we do, I would like to emphasis I never used the word "compliance", which is much different than receptivity.

When a woman chased me, she was in love and the power was in my hands.

If by "in love" you mean obsessed and infatuated, then sure.

Otherwise, how is anyone truly "in love" with someone they just met or only known for a couple weeks?

So if you consider initiation by an obsessed and infatuated chick who barely knows you interest, then you're not necessarily wrong.

Now if she is receptive, that could mean anything. She is bored, she wants entertainment, she wants a free lunch, she feels sorry for the guy, the alpha male she wants is busy, etc. I’ve had so so many women comply, and it means nothing to them. They are just killing time, waiting for the guy they are in love with to break up with their girlfriend.

Context matters here.

Are you texting for the sake of chit chat, or are you setting up dates and escalating on those dates? If it's the latter than you'll figure out her true interest level very quickly.

Let's define what I mean by receptivity for the sake of argument: Receptivity is the willingness to be led. This means responding favourably when to a man when he initiates and attempts to escalate, and making herself available for him do so.

What you are talking about sounds like responsiveness, in the sense that she replies when you reach out lol.. I am not referring to that. If you aren't, and you're still referring to receptivity, we'll just have to agree that we define the word differently.

Responsiveness definitely isn't a good indicator of interest. Receptivity, as I define it, is.

I don’t know what a quality woman is, but my experience has been the opposite. When a woman chased me, she was in love and the power was in my hands. Got me some hot women. I’ve never been successful pursing or initiating.

Paraphrasing your words: you don't know what a quality woman is, but your experience has shown you that when woman chase you they do it because they're in love (infatuated). This has got you some hot women, although you've never been successful pursuing or initiating. Correct?

Well that sounds about right lol.

From another angle, you could say that you don't know what a quality woman is because you pull low quality insecure chicks who do the chasing, because your attempts at pursuing and initiating with higher quality woman have failed because they weren't interested enough in you. In other words, they weren't receptive to your attempts at leading and escalation.

Two months ago I banged the hottest looking chick I've probably ever banged, but she was low quality. As a result, unsurprisingly, she did much of the initiation until I directly told her I was no longer interested after about 2 weeks of banging her -- I lost attraction because of how insecure she was and how quickly infatuated she got. Hot does not necessarily equal quality. But if all you're looking for is a pretty face and hot body to bed, and nothing more than that, then all the power to you.

Men, the woman have to come to you. Following your lead means nothing in 2020.

I surmise you're projecting your own experience. I don't mean this in a negative way.

Your last line here sounds like the battle cry of someone whose attempts to lead have failed, and even a coping mechanism for the rejection you faced every time you tried.

You claimed yourself that you are unable to pull women by pursuing and initiating. Women are not receptive to your lead...

... however, that doesn't mean anything about women's interest nor leadership in 2020... well, except that women are not interested in following your lead...

That either says something about your perceived quality, or the quality of woman that are interested in you, or both.

 

[TheProspect]

Also, boils down to what any particular men wants.

Do you just want to just fvck and nothing more because you genuinely don't care about anything beyond physical looks and banging?

Well then I guess pull by any means necessary. If that means sitting back and even letting low quality neurotic women chase, then so be it. If you're getting tail you're getting tail. They're obviously interested if they're spreading their legs for you. Nothing inherently wrong with that. I've been that guy before.

Alternatively, do you want to date a chick who is truly secure and high value, one possessing higher quality traits that are more desirable for a relationship or companionship?

The difference is the way these women handle and display their interest via their behaviour.

The former you can get away with sitting back and allowing the low hanging fruit to drop into your lap.

The latter you're going to have to lead, and you'll be able to gauge her interest her receptivity.

 

[Jcooper]

If a woman is interested, she makes the ride quite smooth. There’re times though when a woman just wants to relax and receive all the love, care, and attention. You’ll notice she won’t text or call first, but when you stop calling or texting, she’ll complain why you stopped. I’ve noticed that sometimes they’re interested, but they just want to relax and receive.

 

[Bigpapa]

Basic principle : if she is receptive towards you escalating further it means that she likes you man

anything else is not that relevant .

the key is to know when to persist and when not to persist , as women after a certain point will start resisting you escalating further even when she likes you and just expects you to be more persistent so she does not feel bad about you guys hooking up . Or because she wants to be sure that you are also interested in her

 

[Glassguy]

If you want to check a woman's IL, stop texting/contacting her.

See if she invests more by initiating. High interest women will keep it going.

Low interest women will disappear.

This is why its important for a woman to do as much initiating early on. Not only is she investing but it keeps men from over investing in low interest women.

 

[Bigpapa]

If you want to check a woman's IL, stop texting/contacting her.

See if she invests more by initiating. High interest women will keep it going.

Low interest women will disappear.

This is why its important for a woman to do as much initiating early on. Not only is she investing but it keeps men from over investing in low interest women.

if You invest but always escalating you can not be in a position where you are over interested in a low interest woman

 

[flowtheory]

If you want to check a woman's IL, stop texting/contacting her.

See if she invests more by initiating. High interest women will keep it going.

I’ve done this before and some women haven’t created positive drama, but just drama.

“Haven’t heard from you in x days? Where are you?”
“Why didn’t you message me, it’s been two days”

They got ‘squirrelly’ rather than soft, made the silence about them rather than just about reaching out. How to flip that script?
In all cases they were interested, dates, sex were happening. we’re exclusive.

I figured this was just general female insecurity because they liked when I was reaching out

 

[bat soup]

As it's been said time and time again, women will help you when they like you.

Have you ever noticed time after time this common scenario happens:

You were chatting with a woman you met online or texting a woman you perhaps had one or two dates with and you really like.

Perhaps you sent the last text or things have cooled off a bit and you have not heard from her.

You falsely think: Well, perhaps she wants to be chased or if I send another message/text it will rekindle things.

In my 20+ years in the dating world, this never seems to work. Why? Despite what women write and tell you; they do the chasing (not the other way around)

You're right, but women in general are very passive. They tend not to have much initiative or courage. At the most they'll give out some very subtle signs and if you don't pick up on those signs quickly, they'll take it as rejection and move on to someone else.

 

[Glassguy]

I’ve done this before and some women haven’t created positive drama, but just drama.

“Haven’t heard from you in x days? Where are you?”
“Why didn’t you message me, it’s been two days”

They got ‘squirrelly’ rather than soft, made the silence about them rather than just about reaching out. How to flip that script?
In all cases they were interested, dates, sex were happening. we’re exclusive.

I figured this was just general female insecurity because they liked when I was reaching out

Thats a good sign.

"Oh you know me....always on the move. What have you been up to?" Would be the proper response.

 

[flowtheory]

Thats a good sign.

"Oh you know me....always on the move. What have you been up to?" Would be the proper response.

I would prefer if they wouldn’t create the drama and just be like “hey, what’s up. Miss you”. But maybe my expectations are too high lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I’ve done this before and some women haven’t created positive drama, but just drama.

“Haven’t heard from you in x days? Where are you?”
“Why didn’t you message me, it’s been two days”

They got ‘squirrelly’ rather than soft, made the silence about them rather than just about reaching out. How to flip that script?
In all cases they were interested, dates, sex were happening. we’re exclusive.

I figured this was just general female insecurity because they liked when I was reaching out

Be vague, admit nothing, don't make it about them and maybe even tease them about acting weird.

"No idea I had to provide around the clock updates, haha. Been tied up with work and a few other things. How have you been?"

 

[bat soup]

Some women will talk to you all day long, but don't want to meet up or do anything sexual. Don't take the fact that a woman likes talking to you as a sign of sexual attraction.

 

[Bigpapa]

Some women will talk to you all day long, but don't want to meet up or do anything sexual. Don't take the fact that a woman likes talking to you as a sign of sexual attraction.

I never really understood why this happens ...

I mean , if she talks to you all day and you give a sexual vibe ( so you do not get friendsoned ) , it means that she is at least somehow attracted to you

 

[bat soup]

I never really understood why this happens ...

I mean , if she talks to you all day and you give a sexual vibe ( so you do not get friendsoned ) , it means that she is at least somehow attracted to you

Not necessarily and in any case not enough. Women just love attention - for them it feeds their ego and makes them feel important.

 

[Bigpapa]

Not necessarily and in any case not enough. Women just love attention - for them it feeds their ego and makes them feel important.

dunno what to say , if it is just this then it is stupid reason

 

[bat soup]

dunno what to say , if it is just this then it is stupid reason

There's also the chance that she can call the guys that give her attention when her fridge needs lifting or her toilet gets blocked.