Calling a woman out.

[BadBoy89]

Generally I call women out if they are disrespectful or say stupid things. Yet a lot of advice on sosuave is “walk away, be cool, be confident, don’t let actions her affect you.”

Fair enough. But if men don’t call women out, they are faced with 2 issues.

1. She will do it again
2. She will believe he is too stupid or weak to battle her (not masculine)

If any man is disrespectful to another man, he would answer back with a vengeance. Yet if a woman is disrespectful to man, he should “let it go”? She has to know she is not dealing with an idiot.

Thoughts?

 

[Glassguy]

She will do it again, just not to me twice. That is the key.

Do you honestly think calling a woman out is going to change her personality and behavior after she is 20+ years old? If you do, you're in for a big surprise.

Silence and distance my friend. If she acknowledges her own disrespect and changes once she sees I'm gone, that's one thing. But even if she changes because of being called out, its only temporary.

 

[Barrister]

Generally I call women out if they are disrespectful or say stupid things. Yet a lot of advice on sosuave is “walk away, be cool, be confident, don’t let actions her affect you.”

Fair enough. But if men don’t call women out, they are faced with 2 issues.

1. She will do it again
2. She will believe he is too stupid or weak to battle her (not masculine)

If any man is disrespectful to another man, he would answer back with a vengeance. Yet if a woman is disrespectful to man, he should “let it go”? She has to know she is not dealing with an idiot.

Thoughts?

It depends on what you mean by "calling out" and further it obviously depends on what it is you feel needs to be called out. Firmly (and calmly) telling a woman that a certain behavior is not going to be something you intend to deal with, whether she is a plate or in an LTR, is perfectly fine and reinforces healthy boundaries. If she doesn't want to comply, then you walk.

I think what you are referring to in terms of DJs saying to "walk away" and not really make a big deal of is when a chick simply acts flaky. Calling out a woman because she is being flaky never ends well and just makes you look insecure and weak. If you feel she is withdrawing, then you withdraw. Calling her out and being butthurt over it will do the polar opposite of what you seek. There is certainly an inherent desire for us men to want to be respected and flakiness can come off as disrespect. Usually though, it is just a woman being a woman. It's better to just let it go.

 

[samspade]

1. She will do it again
2. She will believe he is too stupid or weak to battle her (not masculine)

#2 is in your head. #1 won't happen if you withdraw your attention - your most valuable resource to her.

Getting roped into her argument/frame by calling her out is "not masculine."

 

[RangerMIke]

1. She will do it again

How can she do it again if you wipe her off your feet and walk away.

2. She will believe he is too stupid or weak to battle her (not masculine)

Who cares what she thinks? You are done with her and are moving onto other things. She knows she disrespected you, she isn't stupid. Calling her out is a waste of time unless somehow it makes you feel better. You don't get angry at trash you are tossing out. If you want to get under her skin, ignore her... by confronting her you are telling her that HER opinion of YOU matters. It shouldn't. She is nothing and anything that comes out of her mouth is NOTHING.

Just watch gorillas in a zoo. When a female or very young gorilla start messing with the Alpha they just get pushed away and ignored. The only time the Alpha gets up and confronts another gorilla, is when another male challenges him. Confronting someone means you think they might be your equal.

 

[Serenity]

1. She will do it again

So what? I won't be seeing her again.

2. She will believe he is too stupid or weak to battle her (not masculine)

Who cares? What she thinks is irrelevant if she's kicked out of my life for being a disrespectful b!tch.

If any man is disrespectful to another man, he would answer back with a vengeance.

Not this man, I have better things to spend my time on than to argue with idiots, regardless of what genitalia they have.

Yet if a woman is disrespectful to man, he should “let it go”?

No, he should let her go.

She has to know she is not dealing with an idiot.

She's the idiot, you can't win against idiots, only lose more.

You can be an ego driven hothead who will fight anyone, anywhere and at any time, or you can go do something better. I will die one day, life is too short to fight people over petty little things. Leave them in the dust and replace them with better people instead.

 

[Caelum]

Personally, I think the more you try to communicate with them, the less goes your way. If she disrespect you, don't even answer her (depends of the level of disrespect).

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don't bother. It's a waste of your time.

 

[BadBoy89]

How can she do it again if you wipe her off your feet and walk away.


Who cares what she thinks? You are done with her and are moving onto other things. She knows she disrespected you, she isn't stupid. Calling her out is a waste of time unless somehow it makes you feel better. You don't get angry at trash you are tossing out. If you want to get under her skin, ignore her... by confronting her you are telling her that HER opinion of YOU matters. It shouldn't. She is nothing and anything that comes out of her mouth is NOTHING.

I generally agree, But on the other hand, don’t women *test* men to see how masculine they are?
Dont woman *want* to be put in their place by a strong dominant masculine man? Or do they want someone who doesn’t even know he is being insulted and walks away as if she said goodbye?

You guys keep saying “who cares what she thinks?” OK, fair enough. But I care. I do not want her to go around telling everyone “see that guy, you can insult him and he doesn’t care, he’ll just shrug. So ladies, go ahead and take your shots!”

I want a girl saying “Wow that guy is sharp. Dont even think about messing with him because he will put you in your place!”

I’ve had hot girls insult me. I’ve hit them back so hard they were crying, and I’m glad I did. Now the word will spread that this guy is paying attention.

Maybe I’m petty, or it’s because my experiences in life, but I don’t think I can ever *walk away*.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They just don't respond well to direct confrontation. Use it sparingly.

It doesn't work. The types of women that guys complain about here respond better to manipulation. Definitely don't put up with bull chit

 

[flowtheory]

The only time calling women out is in the beginning when you’re setting boundaries. you can attempt to shift it later, but once things are built, it’s surely difficult to reconfigure it, because of patterns.

Calling them out: You don’t need to be angry or up in arms about it when a line is crossed (this would be weak masculine frame), just simply state that you have a line that’s not to be crossed, and once it’s been crossed again after the overt communication of said boundary ? Silence and distance until she comes back and apologizes. And sometimes that silence will echo for eternity depending on the severity of her transgression.
She will test all your boundaries and so just refer to silence and distance when you’re unhappy with certain treatments. And when she comes back submissive to that area, I’m sure she will inquire what the heck just happened and communicate her ill, possibly-unintended-intention, and thats when true communication can happen in vulnerability, which will deepen trust and intimacy. If a LTR is the goal. But if it’s a plate? No need for the latter part of this, because that’s investing too much for what your objective is.

Everything generally comes down to how you view yourself. The higher the standards generally entails greater respect you believe you deserve which showcases to people how you wish to be treated and what you will and won’t put up with.

women are covert, remember? So calling them out in a confrontational manner will just justify them to go victim mood manipulator and shirk responsibility then make the issue about your inability to be emotionally strong/dependable/safe, for her. And then you’ll be the one apologizing and that triggers the pattern of her putting the leash around your neck because she will gain the power and through that recognition you will see her point that you are in fact being emotional, which doesn’t make you the leader you both need in the relationship dynamic. And women simply are just seeking to be in their feminine around a man, and to be led most of the time; that’s why they go after the ever-loved alpha male.

believe it or not, women don’t want drama in relationships. They want excitement and passion. But when they aren’t in feminine mode because of their ‘man’ being unable to provide to himself and her, they are in masculine mode and that generally translates to stress. And with stress, that’s where the naggy woman trope steps in and she begins to tear at the male. And drama will suffice for excitement; for a while.. at least until one of you can’t take it anymore. All because the natural harmony of male/female dynamic is off.

 

[Roober]

The nuance of this situation, where many men fail, is that everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes it could simply be a misunderstanding. Sometimes it could be an accident. On other occasions, they may have been pressured by work, friends, or family.

In any case though, it's imperative that you correct the behavior, but only have you have determined the behavior is disrespectful. This is often mistake number two that men make. They are a tyrant in the relationship, dictating that irrational rules are followed and full adherence to those rules is required.

There is one key indicator to determine if your standards are reasonable and you are not exhibiting behaviors that invite disrespect. That is if you encounter disrespect, or what you consider disrespect, from multiple women.

 

[Black Widow Void]

There's a popular myth that ignoring women is better than calling them out. Here's why you should call them out.

Imagine if every man withheld their company with a woman after calling them out.

This would set a better pattern. Chances are, some man before you was too lenient and this is likely why she behaves the way that she does

For instance; if I have a first date and it's a mutual meet some place, I give them five minutes after the agreed upon time.

If they text or call to say that they are running later, I'll offer some wiggle room. Otherwise, I leave the premises on the 6th minute. I've had some angry calls while I'm on the road and have already left, but I didn't turn around. Instead, I calmly explain why I left and say goodbye.

If the guy before me had put his foot down, I probably would not experience lateness (although it's a low percentage, I've done this to four or five - which is still too much).

Chances are they guy after me is probably going to have it a little easier.

Calling out is fine, but if you appear invested you will lose.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Generally I call women out if they are disrespectful or say stupid things. Yet a lot of advice on sosuave is “walk away, be cool, be confident, don’t let actions her affect you.”

Fair enough. But if men don’t call women out, they are faced with 2 issues.

1. She will do it again
2. She will believe he is too stupid or weak to battle her (not masculine)

If any man is disrespectful to another man, he would answer back with a vengeance. Yet if a woman is disrespectful to man, he should “let it go”? She has to know she is not dealing with an idiot.

Thoughts?

By you acting this way she most assuredly DOES know she is dealing with an idiot. And one who she knows she can easily get riled up and emotional by doing things. Not a good place to be.

But good luck with that method.

 

[Atom Smasher]

By you acting this way she most assuredly DOES know she is dealing with an idiot. And one who she knows she can easily get riled up and emotional by doing things. Not a good place to be.

But good luck with that method.

Your mistake is assuming that calling a woman out involves being riled up and emotional. In fact, the way to call a woman out is to state facts dispassionately and factually and administering the consequences of her behavior.

I believe that the PRIMARY reason that women today are so lost, sick and twisted is because men have withdrawn from their role of authority and have become afraid to call women out on their behavior.

There’s no need to be emotional when correcting a woman. A man needs to be detached and factual, which translates to a ruthless enforcement of his rules. This, women understand and this is what they need.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your mistake is assuming that calling a woman out involves being riled up and emotional. In fact, the way to call a woman out is to state facts dispassionately and factually and administering the consequences of her behavior.

I believe that the PRIMARY reason that women today are so lost, sick and twisted is because men have withdrawn from their role of authority and have become afraid to call women out on their behavior.

There’s no need to be emotional when correcting a woman. A man needs to be detached and factual, which translates to a ruthless enforcement of his rules. This, women understand and this is what they need.

But that is not the way most guys go about it.

If I have to act like Stalin in a relationship she can go find someone else. I have no interest in running her life like she is a 5 year old.

Now in the bedroom that is a different story...

 

[Medina]

I have battled with this questiom for many, many years

In the end, I don't think it matters. Because she will do whatever she likes eventually

The fact that she is even disrespecting you to begin with shows there is something wrong

I've DESTROYED girls in the past. Forget about calling them out... I'm talking about mental abuse. Laying the law down HARD

The ones that behaved were ALWAYS going to behave. And the ones that didn't were ALWAYS going to give me problems

So again, in the end it doesn't really matter. It depends soley on the girl and her true interest levels in you

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have battled with this questiom for many, many years

In the end, I don't think it matters. Because she will do whatever she likes eventually

The fact that she is even disrespecting you to begin with shows there is something wrong

I've DESTROYED girls in the past. Forget about calling them out... I'm talking about mental abuse. Laying the law down HARD

The ones that behaved were ALWAYS going to behave. And the ones that didn't were ALWAYS going to give me problems

So again, in the end it doesn't really matter. It depends soley on the girl and her true interest levels in you

I agree 110%. They do what they really want to do. They know how to behave, they choose to behave or not.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Women are conditioned to fear an angry man in their physical presence, one time I was giving a broad the silent treatment and she looked at me and asked "Are you gonna hit me?" This broke my heart really, I was like No, and we just continued on, it's strange because we look at it as totally off the table, easy to forget they dwell in different shoes