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What fear-facing event(s) in your life has changed you for the better?

oc16

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Fear is what holds us back in life: Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being disliked, fear of getting into a physical confrontation, etc.

What event or events in your life (that were fearful) and that you faced head on; helped you grow tremendously as a person?

Examples: Jumped out of an airplane, bungee jumped; joined the military (bootcamp is scary), ran a marathon, got into a boxing ring, etc.

I always wondered if jumping out of a plane or bungee jumping would turn you into this fearless warrior, afraid of nothing for the rest of youe life!
 
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redskinsfan92

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As a teenager I rode a rollercoaster I was afraid to ride. I now fear no rollercoaster, so there is that.
 

redskinsfan92

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Has it helped you in other areas?
You know, oddly enough I think that has helped me in situations like getting a root canal at the dentist. Used a similar mindset to just relax as the dentist worked on my teeth.
 

redskinsfan92

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Other fear I faced as a young teen was speaking in front of an entire church. I have no fear of public speaking now.

Didn't help with approach anxiety though. I've had to address that through approaching people. Looking for something in the store, but won't go ask an associate for help? It may be you fear that interaction. Train yourself. Go ask the associate for help.

Recent example: I feared strongly requesting a pay raise, but went through with it. I ended up getting that raise.
 

oc16

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Other fear I faced as a young teen was speaking in front of an entire church. I have no fear of public speaking now.

Didn't help with approach anxiety though. I've had to address that through approaching people. Looking for something in the store, but won't go ask an associate for help? It may be you fear that interaction. Train yourself. Go ask the associate for help.

Recent example: I feared strongly requesting a pay raise, but went through with it. I ended up getting that raise.
Good for you. Squeaky wheel gets the grease.
 

Mike32ct

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You know, oddly enough I think that has helped me in situations like getting a root canal at the dentist. Used a similar mindset to just relax as the dentist worked on my teeth.
Yeah going to the dentist office sends my anxiety to the moon. But once they start working on me, I actually calm right down. Even if it's physically uncomfortable/painful, fortunately, it is mentally distracting. So my brain has something (other than fear) to focus on. Then I'm totally fine.

Work meetings are similar for me. I feel anxious before the meeting starts. But once the meeting begins, my brain is occupied trying to process the information and respond appropriately, so I don't have the spare mental resources left to worry.

TLDR: I don't think in terms of "overcoming fear." The same things I've been doing for 20 years can still cause me anxiety each time I begin them. I just focus on getting started and then let the anxiety get suppressed via distraction.
 
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Medina

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I was an 18 year old student in a new city and a girl asked me to come to a bar with like 20 of her friends in there

I remember taking such a big deep breath before going in. I didn't know any of them. I didn't know the city. I didn't even know her

That was a big turning point in my life. To find the confidence to win not just her but also her entire social circle

It paid off
 

ThisIsSparta

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My wife bought me a 24 hour hostage class for birthday at a tactical training company.

Special forces guys did this according to their experiences.

There was physical violence, waterboarding (light-version), interrogations, they were confronting you with certain fears people might have (claustrophobia, aggressive dogs, the unknown), physical exhaustion, cold and more involved.

Toughest thing i had to go through, ever. Of 13 guys only 4 made it to the end.

Rule number 1: NEVER QUIT, whatever they do to you!

To know i made it and didnt quit gave me a big boost and i was even less likely to take **** from anyone (including my wife) after it.
 
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ThisIsSparta

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Going to a foriegn country not knowing anyone and not speaking much of their language. I would encourage it for anyone.
Dont go to South America, Africa or parts of Asia that way .... it might get you killed, or worse. ;)
 

samspade

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Fear is what holds us back in life: Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being disliked, fear of getting into a physical confrontation, etc.

What event or events in your life (that were fearful) and that you faced head on; helped you grow tremendously as a person?

Examples: Jumped out of an airplane, bungee jumped; joined the military (bootcamp is scary), ran a marathon, got into a boxing ring, etc.

I always wondered if jumping out of a plane or bungee jumping would turn you into this fearless warrior, afraid of nothing for the rest of youe life!
I've jumped out of an airplane, and it was exhilarating. (I've also gone hang gliding, not quite as scary but that first jump will retract your cojones.)

Sometimes I call on that moment when I'm facing a fear...even something as simple as making a move on a girl I like. I remember how terrified I was leaning out that airplane doorway. Luckily, the trainer leans into you and makes the decision for you, lol.

It won't turn you into a "fearless warrior." Fear will always be there. But it will give you perspective, IF you're smart and willing to draw on it to confront your fear. That is, I'm sure there are plenty of people who have gone sky diving but still don't have the balls to ask a girl out, change careers, move abroad, whatever they long to do.

So you can be a warrior, yes, one who doesn't fear fear, but embraces it. A man should live his life testing his comfort zone and confronting his fears.
 

Trojan3000

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****ing, you name it. I got too many. I'm not even going to list them out .. will end up sounding like i'm making my life out to be a movie
 

coyote_astro

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Moving from Europe to the US all by myself, leaving friends and family behind was one of the scariest decisions I ever had to make, which though helped me grow in ways I could have never expected.
 

oc16

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Moving from Europe to the US all by myself, leaving friends and family behind was one of the scariest decisions I ever had to make, which though helped me grow in ways I could have never expected.
What country?
 

FlexpertHamilton

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I have found that all face-fearing events have only made me better at handling the specific face fearing event.
 

corrector

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Visiting a few escorts within a 24 hour spree on Dec.4 & Dec 5 2014 would be rated as the most scariest thing ever done. I went in a room and looked behind me to see the escort start undressing herself and asking me if I have been there before. I thought the police were waiting to arrest me when I came out. She sucked me off and kept telling me to relax because I could not believe this was happening and it just got hard.

I dont have an intense drive to visit another escort like that. Second place Bungee jumping or the Behemoth rollercoaster at Canadas Wonderland.
 

Xenom0rph

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Visiting a few escorts within a 24 hour spree on Dec.4 & Dec 5 2014 would be rated as the most scariest thing ever done. I went in a room and looked behind me to see the escort start undressing herself and asking me if I have been there before. I thought the police were waiting to arrest me when I came out. She sucked me off and kept telling me to relax because I could not believe this was happening and it just got hard.

I dont have an intense drive to visit another escort like that. Second place Bungee jumping or the Behemoth rollercoaster at Canadas Wonderland.
Escortmaxxing can be dangerous... There are stories of guys getting robbed at gun point by choosing the wrong escort ad...
 

corrector

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Escortmaxxing can be dangerous... There are stories of guys getting robbed at gun point by choosing the wrong escort ad...
But in this particular case I was not escortmaxing. It does not count as an escortmax with me because my motivation was I was fapping to escort pics since 1997 and the internet became faster to be able to load up those types of pics and I was always very curious about this. There was a Canadian law bill c32 being brought into effect as of Dec 6th and I was in divorce process with my ex wife. There are too many variables to pin this down on incel. If I did this today then it would be escortmaxing.

While not on your point I feel nuances about this are important. I am not worried about the physical dangers. I normally look at reviews or stalk out an online ad over time, sometimes years.

Normally some effort would have to be made towards getting a civvie and there would have to be some brilliant fails or nerve touching before enough resolve can be fomented in my mind to even go there. I have to protect any last resort concepts. If I am not interested in sex enough to pursue civvie women then I will never use an escort on principle.
 
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corrector

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Another couple of memories have popped into mind that is more on the physical rather than spiritual bend of fear that can upend that for first place.

1) In October, 2015, there was a biking accident. I took this trail that had steep banks to a river below and the trail had some spots where it was just the trail and then a drop right next to it without any boundary. It so happened I lost balance, flipped over my bike, tumbled on the ground and started moving towards the river. I can't swim properly and wasn't prepared to hit the water. I grabbed on to something, but it gave way and I continued sliding. Finally just before I hit the river, I managed to grab on to another shrub on the bank and stopped my fall. I was on pins and needles because I knew I was just stuck there. If I moved then I might resume the fall and end up in this river. I was in this spot where I was relieved I didn't fall in, to terrified to move to get up and just stayed there for a little while. Gradually I made some mental move calculations and believe I prayed there, and gained my footing enough to slowly get up and carefully move upwards towards the fallen bike and trail. I eventually recovered and had a minor back sprain that just needed ice and heat compress over the next two weeks or so to go away.

The last bike accident was around August 2017 where I lost my bike balance on this steep hill and flew off the bike and hit the ground on my chest. Shoulder was in pain that I couldn't move it properly, but I checked out clear when I went to the hospital the next day.

As a result of these bike accidents I'm taking less risk on the trails and am more focused on exercise and scenery rather than taking on a risky route.

2) The Kayaking on the nearby River in 2016. I Kayaked on a mildly windy day to the end of a river that meets a large lake. (Humber River's mouth to Lake Ontario below the pedestrian bridge). The waves were choppy a bit and felt the kayak moving up and down. The thing is I had to turn the Kayak before it hit the lake. If I turn the kayak, the waves hit the kayak perpendicular and it starts rocking the kayak side-ways and increases the odds of tipping if the oars and not held right or if I freak-out. I was particularly concerned about the risk of a roll-over, and looked around to see if anyone was at the sides of the river. I managed to turn the kayak, on pins and needles, and started rowing away from the lake, back on to the calm marshland and, never rented a kayak again since that year. (I did go kayaking again on two separate occasions that year, one in the Toronto Islands, again, pins and needles in some moments, and again up north).

I'm a bit more low-key now. My folks got in an accident in June, 2019 and I had to change my car so I have one that doesn't have a bike rack, but the accident was rattling with me that it sort of bite out the appetite for risk as far as biking, and this year had the covid pandemic, which was also a buzz-kill. Overall, the last few years, or even going back to 2017, was rather milder on the risk-department.
 
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