Stigma against divorced dudes

[samspade]

That probably varies from man to man. If you're good looking and confident, yes, they will be intrigued. There's no way a woman is getting crazy over a guy that shows insecurities left and right. These types of guys obviously aren't that successful with women to begin with, but a divorce is the last thing they need on their résumés.

It's probably just the icing on the cake. So I'd say you have good fundamentals to begin with for women to approach you in that manner.

True...most of these guys aren't on Sosuave, lol. I was RP-aware before and after. The marriage was more like a relationship with paperwork, all due respect to the ex.

 

[Suave88]

No he wasn't. And why the f*ck would you drive 5 1/2 hours to meet some dude in a coffee shop?

She said round trip; still, she drove far.

 

[HyenaPrince]

She said round trip; still, she drove far.

It's not like she teleported back. You still have to endure 5 1/2 hours of being on the road.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

She said round trip; still, she drove far.

guess how far the exfiance lived? never mind, I'll just ridicule myself

It's not like she teleported back. You still have to endure 5 1/2 hours of being on the road.

I used to smoke cigarettes. That helped on road trips. Now I sing to the windshield. lol. Everywhere here is long driving from point a to point b....including family and friends.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Unfortunately, you being divorced conflicts with the fairly tale she is recreating in her head, better luck next time!

 

[BadBoy89]

It seems a bit ironic that dudes would consider a relationship / LTR with a lady who's divorced, but when it's the other way around, it seems they have objections.

Men and women think differently. Men seek hotness, women seek utility.

In the West,

- if a woman is divorced, generally men don’t care and would consider a relationship as long as she is attractive to sleep with.
- if a man is divorced, generally woman care and would not take a relationship easily. They see it as personality flaw. There must be something wrong with him since he cannot keep ONE woman satisfied.

yet:

- if a woman is divorced but has kids, men often care and don’t want any sort of relationship
- if a man is divorced and has kids, women often don’t care because he has been of use to one women, he may be of use to her.


Remember men, women only care about your use, not about your love.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Men and women think differently. Men seek hotness, women seek utility.

In the West,

- if a woman is divorced, generally men don’t care and would consider a relationship as long as she is attractive to sleep with.
- if a man is divorced, generally woman care and would not take a relationship easily. They see it as personality flaw. There must be something wrong with him since he cannot keep ONE woman satisfied.

yet:

- if a woman is divorced but has kids, men often care and don’t want any sort of relationship
- if a man is divorced and has kids, women often don’t care because he has been of use to one women, he may be of use to her.


Remember men, women only care about your use, not about your love.

IF you want your "utility" to be used as sex and fun, what is her viewpoint concerning that "utility"?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

guess how far the exfiance lived? never mind, I'll just ridicule myself

I used to smoke cigarettes. That helped on road trips. Now I sing to the windshield. lol. Everywhere here is long driving from point a to point b....including family and friends.

exfiance emailed....... still time to 'keep my commitment' like the date in the coffee shop that walked out on me said.
lmao
if any of you guys had an exfiancee get ahold of you, you all would just 'plate' her.
I should just 'beta orbitor' him.......for what though?

ego victory?

isn't that a slippery slope to losing my good gains in the past 7 years? I wouldn't have emailed him again.

this is a rhetorical post....just musing here. Recording this here.

I replied, I wonder what transaction he wants. His lizard brain doesn't love me so I wonder what's up.


Vulnerable because of scarcity but he doesn't need to know that.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I was with some friends last night and a few are divorced. The luckier one's got out prior to having offspring. Regardless, either are having a tough time dating again. As soon as their fling, partner, etc. finds out they were previously married, they seem to scatter. This is even after they've seen each other for a few weeks, had sex multiple times, etc. I recall when I was dating, there were a few ladies who had issue with that I was previously married. I just said okay, and take care.

Why does one think this is? It seems a bit ironic that dudes would consider a relationship / LTR with a lady who's divorced, but when it's the other way around, it seems they have objections. A bit of another double standard, no?

I haven’t found being divorced and having girls know about it to be in anyway a negative. In fact, girls seem to get paranoid my ex- will want to get back with me.

 

[RickTheToad]

I haven’t found being divorced and having girls know about it to be in anyway a negative. In fact, girls seem to get paranoid my ex- will want to get back with me.

Good for you and always happy to hear. Slay them down dude.

 

[BeExcellent]

At my age (51) I think guys who have not been married are more suspect, not less.

Ditto fatherhood.

I most prefer a divorced dad to date. Men without children do not fully understand the issues and responsibilities of being a parent, tend to be more selfish and if a man hasn’t married or procreated by his 40s or 50s I kind of wonder what’s wrong with him.

Now I know a number of men who are doing the bachelor thing...but usually even they have some sort of long term arrangement with a woman (or women) somewhere.

Marriages fail. Mine did. I’m still a good person. I don’t hold a failed marriage against a man. That seems silly to me.

 

[Mbuckets82]

I don’t blame the women who want investigate more when they find out about a divorce. I’d do it to her. But not by asking directly, by watching her behaviors. Since women typically take no blame for their actions because they’re always justified, she wouldn’t change what she did before.
Also if you choose to date a single mom, watch how she interacts with the dad, especially if he’s around the kids a lot. You ain’t special and she’s going to do the same to you once the newness wears off.
In other words, Don’t rush. Take notes. Anyone that finds out you’re divorced and rolls wasn’t that into you to begin with.

Women make rules for betas and break them for alphas- RT

 

[2Rocky]

At my age (51) I think guys who have not been married are more suspect, not less.

Ditto fatherhood.

I most prefer a divorced dad to date. Men without children do not fully understand the issues and responsibilities of being a parent, tend to be more selfish and if a man hasn’t married or procreated by his 40s or 50s I kind of wonder what’s wrong with him.

Now I know a number of men who are doing the bachelor thing...but usually even they have some sort of long term arrangement with a woman (or women) somewhere.

Marriages fail. Mine did. I’m still a good person. I don’t hold a failed marriage against a man. That seems silly to me.

I actually ruled out a couple of childless women as relationship prospects because of this. I wanted someone who would be a good role model of loving and understanding.

I think Men do have an Expiration date as far as being "family minded" as well. That date varies from man to man, but I watched my Bachelor Uncle eschew female connections until after his mother died. Then he seemed a little lost for about 15 years and orbited a career woman. Now he's met a woman 10 years younger in his 70's and allowed her (and her little dog too) into his world. Ironically this occurred at the same time I divorced.

 

[2Rocky]

Women make rules for betas and break them for alphas- RT

I found this out first hand. Wasn't until I was confident in myself enough to not settle that women would conform to my frame. It was empowering to say the least.

ETA:
That moment came when I ended my marriage. I decided I was done being disappointed and I knew I had friends who loved me.
I'd seen enough interest from women that I was confident I was not going to lose my only access to sex (as infrequent as it was)
Maybe I monkey branched, or maybe I created my Male (mindful) Action Plan ala Athol Kay but I knew I had to be my own advocate for my own happiness.

 

[jaymbrs]

The divorce pool is so huge right now, I don't see how or why this is a problem. I can see divorced people hitting it off well with other divorced people. Anyways, I've never been married however I am 33 and lately I've been meeting women who actually find it strange I've never been. They spin it in a way where they assume something must not be right with me. Non-committal, underlying issues, etc. But really it's just me not finding the right person combined with focused on my career.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

exfiance emailed....... still time to 'keep my commitment' like the date in the coffee shop that walked out on me said.
lmao
if any of you guys had an exfiancee get ahold of you, you all would just 'plate' her.
I should just 'beta orbitor' him.......for what though?

ego victory?

isn't that a slippery slope to losing my good gains in the past 7 years? I wouldn't have emailed him again.

this is a rhetorical post....just musing here. Recording this here.

I replied, I wonder what transaction he wants. His lizard brain doesn't love me so I wonder what's up.


Vulnerable because of scarcity but he doesn't need to know that.

I should really make a journal thread like I've seen some other members here make.
He asked where I was in the email subject heading...I realised he had probably been creeping my fb...thanks so much to this forum for the standard I learned that its best for females to get rid of sm & OLD.
He praised me for being right in my prediction that his birthtown would get a pride parade(he had revealed his bisexuality after engagement)...from early 2014 up until 2018 I worked hard on my own to learn more about queerness(I was afraid I was homophobic)..I made acquaintances here and in his province for more Pride visibility so he could eventually feel 'free' to 'come out'
Don't think he did though.



Finally, he whined he was penniless and jobless.

I have no comment to his apathy and depression.



No more replying from now on....we're already looking at 7 years ago now since I've seen him. I'm not obliged when I feel this indifference and lack of attraction.

I didn't stigmatize him for being a divorced man when I met him on cm old site.

 

[Mike32ct]

The divorce pool is so huge right now, I don't see how or why this is a problem. I can see divorced people hitting it off well with other divorced people. Anyways, I've never been married however I am 33 and lately I've been meeting women who actually find it strange I've never been. They spin it in a way where they assume something must not be right with me. Non-committal, underlying issues, etc. But really it's just me not finding the right person combined with focused on my career.

Sometimes it's fun. They start grilling you because they want to "find out your deal" if you are a never-married. Then when they find out you're not gay, the hamster wheel increases its RPMs .

 

[Spaz]

Not divorce but left mother of my children that i was with for 12 years


I do get question about why i stayed with her for so long and why i had kids with someone i knew i was not compatible with for so long.
Only answer i have is the fact i was inexperience and that it took me a while to realize that the relationship gave me nothing except seeing my kids everyday.

Overall have not been a problem so far.

I've been divorced for a long time too and was abt to remarry once more, until I figured out that I actually ENJOYED my freedom more then I NEEDED female companionship.

Never did have a problem dating women even when they know you're a divorcee.

Actually women don't give a rat ass EVEN if u r a married man, provided you are a prize that a majority of women desire.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I

I should really make a journal thread like I've seen some other members here make.
He asked where I was in the email subject heading...I realised he had probably been creeping my fb...thanks so much to this forum for the standard I learned that its best for females to get rid of sm & OLD.
He praised me for being right in my prediction that his birthtown would get a pride parade(he had revealed his bisexuality after engagement)...from early 2014 up until 2018 I worked hard on my own to learn more about queerness(I was afraid I was homophobic)..I made acquaintances here and in his province for more Pride visibility so he could eventually feel 'free' to 'come out'
Don't think he did though.



Finally, he whined he was penniless and jobless.

I have no comment to his apathy and depression.



No more replying from now on....we're already looking at 7 years ago now since I've seen him. I'm not obliged when I feel this indifference and lack of attraction.

I didn't stigmatize him for being a divorced man when I met him on cm old site.

I thought you had a guy with deep pockets who was trying to force you into a swingers lifestyle.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I
I thought you had a guy with deep pockets who was trying to force you into a swingers lifestyle.

This was recent exboyfriend you're referring to? The above post you quoted referred to 2013 exfiance.
Deep pockets?
Swingers?

Pretty sure he had fvck all money. We both didn't have a mortgage. I may have made more than him or he may have made more than me.
I revealed everything. He revealed next to nothing except the no mortgage part. Remember he introduced me to redpill.

Doesn't swingers mean that 'I' am willing to sleep with other men while he continues to sleep with that married bar manager?

I never agreed to that sxhitt.