gogginalwayswins
Banned
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2020
- Messages
- 28
- Reaction score
- 10
So I wanted to do this and keep a log to keep myself accountable. In the past couple of years, I have really fallen off and gotten to a point where I have had girls in bed but could not get it up due to a lazy lifestyle. My primary way of meeting women has been through dating apps, it has mainly been that way tbh. To make sense of all of this though, thought I'd share my story and goals and then update the journal every day when I get the chance.
About me and my crazy life to date:
Unstable childhood of always moving around. Grew up mostly poor with family that slowly got rich as I got into my adolescence. Overly controlling immigrants parents that would not really let me talk to girls. Parents also put me in a ghetto high school where every girl looked like she belonged on WorldStar (lol no racist) so I had no interest in women anyways.
High school had no athletic programs other than tennis, volleyball, and golf so I took up tennis, parents were against it for the first couple years but then let me do it towards later on in high school. Always wanted to play real sports but parents never let me. As college came, as much as I wanted to go away, parents made me commute so I lived at home while going to college.
Always under my parent's thumb, never allowed to be myself, depressed, and felt like they treated me as a toddler even after the age of 18. Also at this time I was really starting to get into girls, had a crazy oneitis for this Persian chick, my first ever crush. Got burned by her but moreso I was an inexperienced idiot. Next semester was getting stuff going with some hot brunette at hooters but it never materialized due to logistics. I was always depressed and sad, seeing my potential go away, and it really hurt me. Put me into a major I had no passion for and forced me into it so they could keep control of me. Was oblivious to it but at the time I was reading across PUA stuff since I was locked at home in bumfuk country.
Finally started to rebel a bit, went away to a real college for my final 3 or so years, had a tough time fitting in socially. Contemplated suicide at the time. Sucked to see frat guys and athletes partying with hot girls and I was a part of none of that, no social crews no nothing. Being away from parents did calm me down a lot though.
College ended and I was not ready. I had stuck with the garbage major I had no passion for and parents did not change. Made promises that they could easily get me a job but then ended up turning their backs, had me working for free at some local pharma lab so I could eventually turn apprenticeship into job. Meanwhile I looked for jobs in marketing and development, finally came across one opportunity and bounced to a local big city.
First few months things were great, I was independent, and starting to enjoy doing what I loved. Started going out more to the bars in the big city and felt more cool about life, usually went out alone though. 6 months down the road boss turns out to be a toxic and scheming prick who had his favorites, him and a senior team member made my life chit. Joined local church group and made some good friends, one was a cool guy who smoked weed and loved chasing women so my first ever wingman. Quit after a year and took up another job making double from my previous one.
Paid for a good photographer and got matches like crazy on apps. Went on dates with close to 30 different women but sucked at pulling the trigger. Took them to a local bar where the bartenders knew me by name.
Get pulled into office and company randomly fires me so I am unemployed but got tons saved up.
One random night, match with this pale brunette on Hinge, go on a date, and then take her home. First time I had ever pulled a girl back to my place and ****ed but could barely get it up.
Got laid two more times, one with this Indian girl who looked good but was kinda rancid down there lol. Could barely get it up.
Got a job offer in NYC and moved to the city for new work.
Made friends with boss and coworkers, one who was a cool AF local who fit the mold of a slayer chad (frat boy in college, raised in UES of Manhattan, and all). Got a date with a hot jersey girl and even went to the club with her and her friends for a BDay party. Ended up not going anywhere as she was kinda chubby and I could not get it up. Months later meet this hot Indian cougar from the UK, eat her out but had issues properly putting on condom.
Met a good friend through networking event and hit up the bars and clubs in NYC with him. Lots of approaches but barely any materialized. Did get some dates and such but hardly much went anywhere tbh since I was not giving it my all. I felt the life sucked outta me, like I was partying to compensate and more concerned with getting wasted than running game.
Things get testy at work and right before lockdown, I change jobs.
New work lets me work remote for 2020 and here I am. New peaceful area of the city and a lot to recover from.
Goals:
1. Get fit and lose about 20 lbs by end of this year so I can see my abs for the first time since ever.
2. Learn to approach women confidently and pull from cold approach. Never got good at it.
3. Concerning goal 1, get a healthy lifestyle going where I can get hard when I get a girl over naked.
4. When I get in shape, have even better pics and take my online game to the next level (over 100 matches on hinge to date, 70 on Tinder, but only 35 on Bumble)
5. Find a way to build a side income on top of my main job.
6. Make more cool friends to go out with and women I can hang out with on weekends in social groups, build legitimate relationships with women.
I turn 28 in two weeks and know time is not on my side so I have to get my **** together ASAP.
Let the recovery begin.
I want to see what I can do with my life for 8 months.
About me and my crazy life to date:
Unstable childhood of always moving around. Grew up mostly poor with family that slowly got rich as I got into my adolescence. Overly controlling immigrants parents that would not really let me talk to girls. Parents also put me in a ghetto high school where every girl looked like she belonged on WorldStar (lol no racist) so I had no interest in women anyways.
High school had no athletic programs other than tennis, volleyball, and golf so I took up tennis, parents were against it for the first couple years but then let me do it towards later on in high school. Always wanted to play real sports but parents never let me. As college came, as much as I wanted to go away, parents made me commute so I lived at home while going to college.
Always under my parent's thumb, never allowed to be myself, depressed, and felt like they treated me as a toddler even after the age of 18. Also at this time I was really starting to get into girls, had a crazy oneitis for this Persian chick, my first ever crush. Got burned by her but moreso I was an inexperienced idiot. Next semester was getting stuff going with some hot brunette at hooters but it never materialized due to logistics. I was always depressed and sad, seeing my potential go away, and it really hurt me. Put me into a major I had no passion for and forced me into it so they could keep control of me. Was oblivious to it but at the time I was reading across PUA stuff since I was locked at home in bumfuk country.
Finally started to rebel a bit, went away to a real college for my final 3 or so years, had a tough time fitting in socially. Contemplated suicide at the time. Sucked to see frat guys and athletes partying with hot girls and I was a part of none of that, no social crews no nothing. Being away from parents did calm me down a lot though.
College ended and I was not ready. I had stuck with the garbage major I had no passion for and parents did not change. Made promises that they could easily get me a job but then ended up turning their backs, had me working for free at some local pharma lab so I could eventually turn apprenticeship into job. Meanwhile I looked for jobs in marketing and development, finally came across one opportunity and bounced to a local big city.
First few months things were great, I was independent, and starting to enjoy doing what I loved. Started going out more to the bars in the big city and felt more cool about life, usually went out alone though. 6 months down the road boss turns out to be a toxic and scheming prick who had his favorites, him and a senior team member made my life chit. Joined local church group and made some good friends, one was a cool guy who smoked weed and loved chasing women so my first ever wingman. Quit after a year and took up another job making double from my previous one.
Paid for a good photographer and got matches like crazy on apps. Went on dates with close to 30 different women but sucked at pulling the trigger. Took them to a local bar where the bartenders knew me by name.
Get pulled into office and company randomly fires me so I am unemployed but got tons saved up.
One random night, match with this pale brunette on Hinge, go on a date, and then take her home. First time I had ever pulled a girl back to my place and ****ed but could barely get it up.
Got laid two more times, one with this Indian girl who looked good but was kinda rancid down there lol. Could barely get it up.
Got a job offer in NYC and moved to the city for new work.
Made friends with boss and coworkers, one who was a cool AF local who fit the mold of a slayer chad (frat boy in college, raised in UES of Manhattan, and all). Got a date with a hot jersey girl and even went to the club with her and her friends for a BDay party. Ended up not going anywhere as she was kinda chubby and I could not get it up. Months later meet this hot Indian cougar from the UK, eat her out but had issues properly putting on condom.
Met a good friend through networking event and hit up the bars and clubs in NYC with him. Lots of approaches but barely any materialized. Did get some dates and such but hardly much went anywhere tbh since I was not giving it my all. I felt the life sucked outta me, like I was partying to compensate and more concerned with getting wasted than running game.
Things get testy at work and right before lockdown, I change jobs.
New work lets me work remote for 2020 and here I am. New peaceful area of the city and a lot to recover from.
Goals:
1. Get fit and lose about 20 lbs by end of this year so I can see my abs for the first time since ever.
2. Learn to approach women confidently and pull from cold approach. Never got good at it.
3. Concerning goal 1, get a healthy lifestyle going where I can get hard when I get a girl over naked.
4. When I get in shape, have even better pics and take my online game to the next level (over 100 matches on hinge to date, 70 on Tinder, but only 35 on Bumble)
5. Find a way to build a side income on top of my main job.
6. Make more cool friends to go out with and women I can hang out with on weekends in social groups, build legitimate relationships with women.
I turn 28 in two weeks and know time is not on my side so I have to get my **** together ASAP.
Let the recovery begin.
I want to see what I can do with my life for 8 months.