Black Widow Void
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2010
- Messages
- 2,183
- Reaction score
- 3,850
While I agree that it's best to let this go, don't let many of the above attitudes fool you.
Anyone that's had their share of relationships has made some stupid and silly post-break up mistakes. I'm no exception.
There's mainly two camps on this forum.
The first camp cannot admit to themselves that they were (and likely still are) failures. In order to feel better about themselves, they look for members that describe situations as you have. When they talk down to you, this provides them with some 'emotional feel-good' escapism ... because they can forget about their past (and also probably current) failures. After you finally move on from this girl, don't end up like this camp.
The second camp that reads your posting(s) ... will think back to their own mistakes. Personally speaking, it's embarrassing to think about and it sure was humiliating. In fact, once we emotionally separated ourselves from that particular ex, we take self-ownership for our blunders and learn from past mistakes. The best incentive for self-improvement is having a bad incident (that we created) and never wanting re-experience that sort of self-defeat.
Having been there, I get it. Although my moment was nearly twenty five years ago, I recall it feeling like... mourning over a death, but the person is still alive (which provides a false illusion that somehow we can 'breathe new life' into a dead situation).
Beast advice my friend is to let it go. It may be tempting to later contact her (so she can see how 'different' you are ... or to prove to yourself that you've moved on) ... but it's still self-delusion.
To some degree everyone here (well, anyone with experience) has made similar mistakes and regretted it. Any one here that states otherwise, is still under self-delusion.
Anyone that's had their share of relationships has made some stupid and silly post-break up mistakes. I'm no exception.
There's mainly two camps on this forum.
The first camp cannot admit to themselves that they were (and likely still are) failures. In order to feel better about themselves, they look for members that describe situations as you have. When they talk down to you, this provides them with some 'emotional feel-good' escapism ... because they can forget about their past (and also probably current) failures. After you finally move on from this girl, don't end up like this camp.
The second camp that reads your posting(s) ... will think back to their own mistakes. Personally speaking, it's embarrassing to think about and it sure was humiliating. In fact, once we emotionally separated ourselves from that particular ex, we take self-ownership for our blunders and learn from past mistakes. The best incentive for self-improvement is having a bad incident (that we created) and never wanting re-experience that sort of self-defeat.
Having been there, I get it. Although my moment was nearly twenty five years ago, I recall it feeling like... mourning over a death, but the person is still alive (which provides a false illusion that somehow we can 'breathe new life' into a dead situation).
Beast advice my friend is to let it go. It may be tempting to later contact her (so she can see how 'different' you are ... or to prove to yourself that you've moved on) ... but it's still self-delusion.
To some degree everyone here (well, anyone with experience) has made similar mistakes and regretted it. Any one here that states otherwise, is still under self-delusion.