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corrector

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Why do you not have your own place? Not judging, just curious.
The tone in your previous posts comes across like you are judging, so you telling me that you are not judging and are just curious sort of falls flat. You assumed I was not working. But I will say that I live in a very expensive city and many people are complaining about the cost of living here. Also I have been making bankruptcy payments of $ 10,000 per year and have bad credit while making these payments so there is really no room. I also am devoted to my folks and like their company especially as seniors that are over or approaching 80. Both my dad and myself make some money I guess and I manage the accounts. There is less of a desire to want to move anywhere since I've put together a home theater system that includes a digital projector and 58 inch HDTV, which involved serious work around the home to set-up.
But one thing is certain, I am not going to abandon my elderly parents and unless they have their own home and someone to look after them, it has to be this way.
 

R.U.G.

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The tone in your previous posts comes across like you are judging, so you telling me that you are not judging and are just curious sort of falls flat. You assumed I was not working. But I will say that I live in a very expensive city and many people are complaining about the cost of living here. Also I have been making bankruptcy payments of $ 10,000 per year and have bad credit while making these payments so there is really no room. I also am devoted to my folks and like their company especially as seniors that are over or approaching 80. Both my dad and myself make some money I guess and I manage the accounts. There is less of a desire to want to move anywhere since I've put together a home theater system that includes a digital projector and 58 inch HDTV, which involved serious work around the home to set-up.
But one thing is certain, I am not going to abandon my elderly parents and unless they have their own home and someone to look after them, it has to be this way.
If you feel the ends justify the means, then so be it. But building a den for yourself and taken care of your parents is not going to give you the satisfaction you need in life to strive and survive. Do you plan to ever date or be in a relationship with a woman again? Or have you sworn off women?
 

corrector

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If you feel the ends justify the means, then so be it. But building a den for yourself and taken care of your parents is not going to give you the satisfaction you need in life to strive and survive. Do you plan to ever date or be in a relationship with a woman again? Or have you sworn off women?
I guess you ignored the debt and huge payments part. I can only deal with the cards I am dealt with. Your cards are different than mine.

I have not sworn off women, I just dont want any more trouble with the wrong types of woman because I cant afford it. So there is no plan to deal with any woman because of desperation just to say I have someone.
 

corrector

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Had a insane fap session yesterday. Basically this came out of the blue while I have not looked at any pics since the beginning of the month, I kept thinking of intense doggie-style trusting. I ended up going on a fleshlight sex-toy page and fapping at sex-toy figuring, it's I'm fapping on a toy rather than a real woman so it can't really be porn. Then I regretted that logic because even a webpage selling toys can be a type of porn in and of itself. The mind plays tricks with you that way.

After I came out I get this post from R.U.G. yesterday, and figure that my fapping is attracting negative posts on this thread. Also got a text from an ex-gf I'm trying to avoid just afterwards and think that whatever this is creating a spiritual ripple-effect field that is very strange. We have not spoke since 2016 and she keeps harassing me and stalking me. If I stop fapping then I"ll get rid of her too. Things generally go well when I am not fapping. I feel this fapping is tapping into another dimension and its wreaking havoc in my world if it continues, so it must stop.
 

SW15

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The best way not to fap is to be getting regular sex.
 

corrector

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The best way not to fap is to be getting regular sex.
This is not possible for me so it's not an option and the only reason for me to avoid fapping is religious reasons (i.e. may worry at the back of my mind this could lead to hell at worst, or at best, it's a very carnal and spiritually disconnecting activity). If I didn't believe in God, and that my body is the Temple of His Holy Spirit, I would have no reservations towards fapping in and of itself. Being upset with God however, to the extent He is attributed as to why I don't have a wife or "outlet", could, on certain occasions, lead to a type of spiteful fapping that's more like a sexual vent...but that's usually followed by guilt and seeking forgiveness for the offense afterwards and regaining a sense of purity and order.
 

corrector

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Fapped again this morning while watching an Ancient Aliens episode dealing with George Van Tassel who made this thing here:
( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Van_Tassel ) called "The Integration": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integratron
This acoustic marvel was intended to make people immortal by harnessing electrical energies to change the structure of the cells which cause aging. Normally when UFOs or anything involving UFO abductions, aliens, or stuff like that is viewed, it leads to these intense lust attacks while watching the program, where my mind may go off a bend and imagine a lady is sucking me off or something like that while the show is running. This has occurred many times in the past and I think there is something about these UFO type of shows that are fueling the fapping problem. It's like the topics are just too serious, weird and intense and I'm having difficulty processing it and it's manifesting in this behaviour.
 
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