What to do if she has a boyfriend...?

[FJA]

Can I still treat her just like she's single even when she posts pics of her holding hands with her bf?

I wanna get good at dealing with chicks with BFs but that's my last mental roadblock. My logical brain is telling me "Would she cheat with you when she's posting sh*t like this?"

Pics on social media with BF are not of any value that often, they can show holding hands and be in not that great relation, or simple be ¨open¨ for new contacts (she wants to keep her BF, but still get f*cked by you) or quit with him next week, so often this happens. Don´t think about her BF, you are not going to date him ;-)

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Let me give you a scenario.....

So you are able to have sex with the woman. It was spur of the moment for her...……...we all know how women operate on emotions in the moment.

Regrets it later...….and worries her BF will find out, because she wants long term security with him

Boyfriend finds out.

What to do???

I know!!! I will say he raped me and go to the police, absolving myself of all responsibility!!!

Scenario 2 - boyfriend beats the **** out of you and puts you in the hospital.


Why would you do this to yourself?

pretty much what I envision too

 

[FJA]

pretty much what I envision too

Yep, that are the risks you should know, but taking risks is part of life, no risks = no fun. Same applies in some way f*ckung a girl who recently broke up, I had it once with a girl from Czech but living here in The Netherlands. She broke up with her ex after many years, but they were in that what they call onofficial "breaking up time" (not living together anymore but often ex-partners share things together, like sometimes even the bed), I f*cked here, but she felt sorry for what she and I did and all contact lost since that time.

 

[FJA]

You tell her "I'd really like to date you down the road. If you find yourself single, give me a call"

And then you go look for other women.

I don't know how much she is into you, otherwise you could play some kind of challenge-game, that you let her challenge you, than it's her own decision with less or no feeling sorry for what she did.

 

[samspade]

Let me give you a scenario.....

So you are able to have sex with the woman. It was spur of the moment for her...……...we all know how women operate on emotions in the moment.

Regrets it later...….and worries her BF will find out, because she wants long term security with him

Boyfriend finds out.

What to do???

I know!!! I will say he raped me and go to the police, absolving myself of all responsibility!!!

Scenario 2 - boyfriend beats the **** out of you and puts you in the hospital.


Why would you do this to yourself?

Sosuavers rip on women for ignoring consequences...always good to see a poster acknowledging them.

 

[coyote_astro]

Let me give you a scenario.....

So you are able to have sex with the woman. It was spur of the moment for her...……...we all know how women operate on emotions in the moment.

Regrets it later...….and worries her BF will find out, because she wants long term security with him

Boyfriend finds out.

What to do???

I know!!! I will say he raped me and go to the police, absolving myself of all responsibility!!!

Scenario 2 - boyfriend beats the **** out of you and puts you in the hospital.


Why would you do this to yourself?

The former sounds a little extreme, but I am sure it has happened to someone...
The latter I guess is the common reason why people think twice before f*cking someone's girlfriend

But yeah I get what you mean.

 

[coyote_astro]

An aquaintance of mine did exactly what you are about to do. The BF found out.

a couple weeks later 4 guys beat the piss out of the acquaintance in an alley, and he indeed ended up in the hospital with cracked jaw, dislocated shoulder and a few other things. The BF made sure he was in a public place with witnesses. No one was ever charged and no connection to the BF was made, though I am pretty sure what happened. I don't know how things work where you live.....but these things DO happen.



Proceed at your own peril.

Just to clarify, I don't disagree with you. Especially given that in my case, the boyfriend has already seen who i am.
That's one of the reasons I had concerns.

But when I have no other plates spinning and she keeps texting me, it crosses my mind I admit
I know I have to find other girls anyway. Working on that.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Pics on social media with BF are not of any value that often, they can show holding hands and be in not that great relation, or simple be ¨open¨ for new contacts (she wants to keep her BF, but still get f*cked by you) or quit with him next week, so often this happens. Don´t think about her BF, you are not going to date him ;-)

Well, I guess I have to go for it now. I just can't consider myself a player if I can't fvck girls that have a BF. I've missed out on a decent amount of pvssy like that in the past.

On top of that, it seems like some girls are just ALWAYS in a relationship for whatever reason

 

[mrgoodstuff]

All you have to do is text her "Hey, if you find yourself single we will hang out then"

Saves your ass, makes her want you more. If she gets single, she may reach out.

Gives you peace of mind - and you won't always be looking over your shoulder. That guy I mentioned earlier that fvcked the taken girl and was put in the hospital still lives in fear to this day....and that happened 5 years ago. But he is still always nervous when he goes out.

Two weeks in the hospital is a hard lesson.

What happened to the female? Cause we can't stop em from cheating. My entire paradigm on this changed because i shouldn't go to jail cause she decided to cheat on me. And why not make her pay too?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I never knew the GF or if the BF broke up with her.

What I CAN tell you, is the boyfriend was reputed to be a bit of a bad actor, with ties to motorcycle gangs. That is how he knew to make sure he was in a public place and seen by the bartender, and around lots of people when the beating took place. He knew how to create an alibi.

My guess is his cronies gave that guy a licken..............and they may not be done yet. Next time they see him out and about and they are a bit high or drunk, they may decicde to teach him that lesson again.

The guy that got beaten is a bit scared of his own shadow now. And he is terrified of approaching women at all. He is a very lonely person these days

Nope, we can't stop women from cheating - but no reason to court trouble. All these "players' on here that say they are going to go out and "steal a woman" are going to be in for an unpleasant surprise one day

I've been back and forth on this. One thing for sure in this example she learned she can get the "friends" she cheats with hurt. And people in general learned of they cheat with a woman of his there can be a painful consequence. Personally I'm just not sure of taking a chance in putting myself in jail behind a female who'd cheat on me.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Why would you put yourself in jail? Just dump her. As to the girl in the story - maybe nothing happened to her, maybe she got a beating, or maybe she "disappeared". Who knows.

The point is, there are people who will seriously hurt you or wipe you out, over this.

Just don't be a slimeball - go get your own girl.

Of course. But if "your girl" is with several others then Shes not yours. The exception is for swingers.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Why would you put yourself in jail? Just dump her. As to the girl in the story - maybe nothing happened to her, maybe she got a beating, or maybe she "disappeared". Who knows.

The point is, there are people who will seriously hurt you or wipe you out, over this.

Just don't be a slimeball - go get your own girl.

I live in the same part of the country as you, Mauser96, and I can confirm this is exactly the consequences.

I am embarassed that my last partner was someone who tried 'stealing' someone from a spouse(supposedly only once and long before meeting me)After one of our reconciliations they asked me to decide if I wanted to see them beat up...was I going to tattletell....they swore to me the chase was in the past and they had moved on.
But their small town just has so much temptation I guess. They continue to try to steal that person.

I'm still not a tattletell, but I decided Jan 1 that I am no longer a codependent doormat either. No more of my energy flows from me to them. Unconditional love for them doesn't require me to disregard my own health and mental sanity.

I will not do such a thing as steal someone from their mate. I haven't before and I won't in the future.

Long rant, didn't intend to derail from OP. This was cathartic though.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I am not trying to convince anyone of anything. Do what you like, reap the consequences

I think making "taken" woman a priority is a trashy way to be. But for singles a high percentage of their sex is with folks who have a girlfriend or wife. Theres so many singles who think this way. I'd look like a priest for complaining about it . Many times it's never disclosed.

 

[Reyaj]

The whole topic of messing with someone else's girlfriend, significant other, wife etc... is something I often think about.

Here is how I look at it from a morality/ethical/logical standpoint

You should go for it if:

• If the girl isn't with a family member, friend, or frankly anyone who's acquaintance you value
• You genuinely want to fvck her

You should not go for it if:

• If the girl is with a family member, friend, or frankly anyone who's acquaintance you value
• Her significant other could cause danger to your life
• You don't care to fvck her that badly

Of course never get into a relationship with anyone willing to cheat while in a relationship with someone.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I live in the same part of the country as you, Mauser96, and I can confirm this is exactly the consequences.

I am embarassed that my last partner was someone who tried 'stealing' someone from a spouse(supposedly only once and long before meeting me)After one of our reconciliations they asked me to decide if I wanted to see them beat up...was I going to tattletell....they swore to me the chase was in the past and they had moved on.
But their small town just has so much temptation I guess. They continue to try to steal that person.

I'm still not a tattletell, but I decided Jan 1 that I am no longer a codependent doormat either. No more of my energy flows from me to them. Unconditional love for them doesn't require me to disregard my own health and mental sanity.

I will not do such a thing as steal someone from their mate. I haven't before and I won't in the future.

Long rant, didn't intend to derail from OP. This was cathartic though.

With this person I dated, there is history of suicide in the family and I couldn't help but think I'd be involuntarily be contributing to their demise, either by getting them beat up or by them taking their own life like their relative. I did forward that School of Life yt video 'dating when you've had a bad childhood' and they told me there was difficulty understanding it. But it was watched, so I hope I helped.

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

I'm very surprised at some of the responses I'm seeing on here, facepalm......

If a girl has a boyfriend it is of no concern to me at all, I dont even ask, in fact, I cant remember the last time I even asked a girl if she has a man lol, maybe back in middle school.

I have fvcked girls who mentioned it beforehand and after, no fvcks given on my part. I dont owe this random guy I dont even know any loyalty, his girl does and if she doesnt care why the hell would I?

You guys Please stop speaking on how to "game" a woman with a boyfriend, there is no technique, style or game, there is no such thing as "convincing" her to cheat on her man so stop with that idiotic sh!t, its ridiculous.

You cant convince someone to do something they already want/plan on doing. A girl with a boyfriend is no different than a girl without one, if shes attracted to then she will be available to you, if she not attracted then you will get rejected, has nothing to do with a damn boyfriend.

Dating and messing with multiple people is natural, very natural. Long term committed relationships are not natural, that was something society created as we became a intelligent/modern society.

Nobody was meant to be tied down to one person, NOBODY, male nor female.

And guys need to stop picking on women as if there the only ones who cheat lol all my homeboys cheat on there girlfriends lol I have cheating on the few I have decided to "commit" to in my life.

It's nothing personal to my partner, it has nothing to do with her, it's about variety, everyone likes variety, in this case, its sexual variety.

I laugh at my friends and guys who worry about there women cheating on them lol, me?
If I have a girlfriend I dont worry about it, in fact, I expect it, I already assume she has, will or did.
Why? Because that's just how the game goes, I have fvcked enough women in my life with boyfriends that I would be a fool to EVER fully trust a woman, it's nothing to be jaded about or upset about, it just is.

In my mind, she better be smart with her cheating If shes going to do it because if she gets caught it's over, but I dont sit around wondering if my little princess is cheating on me lol I would be to busy doing my own thing to even notice anyway.

Most of you guys are still sheltered and naive to the game sorry to say....

Once you get a ******* from a girl while shes on the phone with her boyfriend then you will understand how to get in my reality with women.......

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hello all, new member but I've been checking out the forum for a while.

Let's start with a classic question that is relevant to me these days: What do you guys do when you find out a girl you are interested in has a boyfriend?
So I met this girl and quickly felt there was some chemistry there. We hung out a bunch of times at this happy hour event and went along well; she comes from the same background and we both live in the US.

She never mentioned a boyfriend (but I had a suspicion) until her roommate (that I met) gave it away. After hearing that, I did not make any direct moves, but I felt there is/was an opportunity. I've been going through a very career-focused phase lately (which resulted in no recent lays unfortunately) which though gave me a ton of confidence after some great successes on that front. She picked up on it and I am almost certain she looks up to me. Every time we met, I could feel her falling into my frame a little more.

2 weeks ago I was super bored and invited her to go for a beer, so we did. Again I could feel some tension growing. At the peak of this, she gave me a Massive **** test, out of nowhere. Maybe one of the biggest ones ever. Then later we went to another bar and around midnight the boyfriend showed up, looking a little uneasy that she did not respond to a text or some ****; I recognized his expression

I did not make any moves ever since. On the one hand I feel I could smash (and the dry spell is starting to get on my nerves ), but on the other I feel like pursuing a girl in an LTR is not worth it. Note that also we live in a rather smaller town.

Let me stress that I have not caught any feelings. I am just curious and wanted to see what more experienced members think.

I had several girls go down my pants in the club. The girls bf just stood their. They did absolutely nothing. They wonder why they get cucked.

Society is full blown degenerate. Her having a bf is far less important than her interest level in you. While most men are cowards today, going after the wrong man's girl could get you hospitalized and or killed. I am not saying ***** out. I am saying, exercise common sense, and take ownership of the consequences.

I don't ask ltr status. It's not my concern. The fallout I take ownership of. It is not the ideal nor my intention. I just approach. Knowing she has a bf and given blue pill male idealism, some guys can get crazy. Furthermore, you cucking a man in front of him and force feeding him the red pill could easily lead to murder.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I know a few women who cheated on their husbands and are now single. Some are decent looking. I wouldn't date them, or even **** them,.

They have shown themselves to be garbage, so why waste my time.

the most alarming, disturbing and unsettling observation is the lack of remorse. No apology, no accountability or recognition that what they did was wrong and no inclination or drive to not repeat such actions now or in their future.

Lack of remorse....I have heard its the worst and most important factor to consider for judges in delivering sentences to criminals.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Lol you think thats alarming? How about women flirting with you right in front of their BF's and husbands as if he is not even there.

Women are solipsistic.

What's even more sad is the guy getting angry at you and not his girl, lol.

I see why the anger is diverted. That oxytocin-love truly blinds.

The internal negotiations start.....I will let them do what they want. They can get away with any crime, anything, so long as my dear love is happy.

Now I may be writing out of my azzz and completely remembered this wrong.
There's that body part I learned about listening to The Craving Brain audiotape decades ago.
Its called the nucleus accumbens and it is what gets damaged the more disconnect one feels with their personal morals and what they are internally negotiating to 'put up with' or 'settle with'
Example,
Seeing litter outside your door, then stupidity in traffic, then something else, then something else...all before you even get to where you want to be at the beginning of your day All these things are overworking your nucleus accumbens and lowering your strength and resolve.

Like that video of the drunk dude being yelled at and assaulted repeatedly by some female criminal. His strength is just

gone.

Makes me feel hollow inside, watching that crime.


What we learn here on ss can actually help keep body parts like the nucleus accumbens healthy. Women are predatory. So are effeminate men.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

That is why it is important to have standards and expect other's to as well .

A close friend's ex wife is super -cute - but she cheated on him with more than one guy.

You could argue all the things he may have done wrong with frame, etc...….and you would miss the point. I don't CARE how he acted. I care how SHE acted. She is a cheater. Low value.

She did it to him, she would do it to you.

pretty lonely having standards----that ghastly Bertrand Russell's looking over the rim of the world loneliness, not that surface "I-wish-my-mate-had-my-same-morals" loneliness
That scotoma that occurs with sunk cost commitment can also override your personal standards.

I guess, get better at training your mate about the differences between right and wrong. Can't introduce the consequence or punishment of withdrawing your love or attention as that effectively punishes you as well.

Unless it saves your body parts from further damage, I think I see now why my dietitian advised the start of a daily journal. You cannot see the healing so you must track it?

Why are we not only starting Ltr's with mates that want us the healthiest and don't instead contribute to our damage?

Probably passive aggression or some unknown personality disorder they have too that is undiagnosed.
Hope this didn't detract from OP's question, this provoked a lot of musings in me, thanks Coyote Astro