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Advice please - 3rd date cancel after sex on the 2nd

SuaveSausage

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So I met a woman on bumble. chatted for a bit etc.

1st Date - picked her up from her place, out for dinner (lots of touching), changed venue for desert (kissing), back to her place; we both played some songs on guitars and sang a bit then finished up with a solid makeout session on the couch, then I leave

Then a few phone calls and texts back and forth, setup a second date

(4 days later)
2nd date - Her house again, after her kids are asleep. She makes some food (great cook), we drink some champagne, play some records, then relocate to her bedroom, get it on. Both commenting about how natural and good the sex was, says she doesn't usually orgasm from just penetration etc. I leave around midnight.

She call the next day, say that she's worried I'll think she's slutty because we had sex too soon, I talked her through it, put her mind at ease. We schedule another date 3 days after the second, this time at my place.

Her house was immaculate, so I tidy up mine a bit etc. Again, its planned for after my kids had gone to bed. We're texting during the day, she asks for my address, I tease a bit, then give it to her about 4 in the afternoon. Then about 2 hours later, she says she's tired and she's not coming. WTF??

I tried to diffuse it with something like
"Aww I'm sorry to hear that, I totally understand. But I have the most incredible cure that will make you feel a thousand times better....a tall dose of Me. Side effects may include spontaneity, adventure, awesomeness, getting lost in the moment, and mild cases of euphoria coupled with constant ear-to-ear grinning."

But no reply.

Trouble is I was actually starting to like her, she's got her **** together, owns her house, she cooks, plays music, our kids are around the same age, etc. I know its way to soon get serious with her, but maybe this chink in my steadfast resolve has led me to behave or talk differently with her. Perhaps I've been to available to her.

Anyways, I'm looking for your thoughts on my next move, leave it and move on, or text her again?
 

Spaz

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Next step idk
Hahaha lamath that's a good one.

OP, rule of thumb is don't text until she initiates back and until then move on to the next girl in line.

Always have multiple women, on a dating rotation and you'll invariably settle for that one whom u r most comfortable with.

Right now you don't have any other options which makes you desperate so much so that you're come online seeking for answers.

Desperation is the No. 1 killer is a man's dating life.
 

SuaveSausage

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Right now you don't have any other options which makes you desperate so much so that you're come online seeking for answers.
There's always options, but mostly they're only good for sex. The one I'm asking about seemed to have more of a package, so I backed off the other options a bit. I guess I'll spin them up again in the meantime.
 

Spaz

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There's always options, but mostly they're only good for sex. The one I'm asking about seemed to have more of a package, so I backed off the other options a bit. I guess I'll spin them up again in the meantime.
Having women on rotation (perceived value) makes them go instinctively on chase mode and that's where you want to be.

A high valued man wanted by other women.

The more other women wants you the more valuable you become to her.

Her instincts will kick in, it's an involuntarily reaction.

So go about spinning.
 

RickTheToad

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So I met a woman on bumble. chatted for a bit etc.

1st Date - picked her up from her place, out for dinner (lots of touching), changed venue for desert (kissing), back to her place; we both played some songs on guitars and sang a bit then finished up with a solid makeout session on the couch, then I leave

Then a few phone calls and texts back and forth, setup a second date

(4 days later)
2nd date - Her house again, after her kids are asleep. She makes some food (great cook), we drink some champagne, play some records, then relocate to her bedroom, get it on. Both commenting about how natural and good the sex was, says she doesn't usually orgasm from just penetration etc. I leave around midnight.

She call the next day, say that she's worried I'll think she's slutty because we had sex too soon, I talked her through it, put her mind at ease. We schedule another date 3 days after the second, this time at my place.

Her house was immaculate, so I tidy up mine a bit etc. Again, its planned for after my kids had gone to bed. We're texting during the day, she asks for my address, I tease a bit, then give it to her about 4 in the afternoon. Then about 2 hours later, she says she's tired and she's not coming. WTF??

I tried to diffuse it with something like
"Aww I'm sorry to hear that, I totally understand. But I have the most incredible cure that will make you feel a thousand times better....a tall dose of Me. Side effects may include spontaneity, adventure, awesomeness, getting lost in the moment, and mild cases of euphoria coupled with constant ear-to-ear grinning."

But no reply.

Trouble is I was actually starting to like her, she's got her **** together, owns her house, she cooks, plays music, our kids are around the same age, etc. I know its way to soon get serious with her, but maybe this chink in my steadfast resolve has led me to behave or talk differently with her. Perhaps I've been to available to her.

Anyways, I'm looking for your thoughts on my next move, leave it and move on, or text her again?
Shows neediness your reply after she bailed. You should had said, ok and that is that.
 

Julian

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your over thinking this. you are too invested. dont you have a life? honestly this should be such a minute detail in your life that it doesnt even need a second thought. if a chick cancels on me, im actually HAPPY alot of the times she did because it frees me up to do something else but then again im an alpha male with 100 women to choose from and i really dont take these chicks serious or to heart unless theyve proven themselves over time.

ever heard the saying if you chase the cat it will run. also your text response was wayy over the top, seemed very neckbeard fedora wearing-eque. like the guys said, shoulda just responded with an "okay". this girl ive been smashin cancelled on me one night and I just said "sad :*( lol alright sexy, dream about this d1ck ;)". ****y funny genuine and not a single fuk given. I was legit sad/dissapointed momentarily just like anyone would that she wasnt coming through to smash, but i didnt try to entice her much further or oversell myself. just a quick reminder to her cerebral cortex about why we are even together and what her purpose is. ridin my D!
 
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Dr.Suave

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OP you banged, you won. Million reason why plates drop, no point wondering why.
 

stovepipe

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I tried to diffuse it with something like
"Aww I'm sorry to hear that, I totally understand. But I have the most incredible cure that will make you feel a thousand times better....a tall dose of Me. Side effects may include spontaneity, adventure, awesomeness, getting lost in the moment, and mild cases of euphoria coupled with constant ear-to-ear grinning."

Your response was needy and a bit on the girly man side. The way you replied was like reading a line from a romance novel. If I didn't know you wrote it I would have guessed a female did.

Actually starting to like her after the 1st bang? You're too needy. You're into her way too quick.

You're letting your needy emotions get the best of you. She's a single mom who wants some d!ck, not some dude who's gonna act and talk to her like a needy female.

Be more manly. Less is more. Keep it short and to the point. DO NOT text her again! Let her contact you. If she doesn't then onto the next. Line-em up!
 
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Machine10033

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our response was needy and a bit on the girly man side. The way you replied was like reading a line from a romance novel. If I didn't know you wrote it I would have guessed a female did.
I agree.. in my past I have gotten drunk and sent texts like this. Usually I wake up and pretty much delete the girl from my phone. I don’t know if you can honestly recover from that.
 

SuaveSausage

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What did you tease her about? If a woman genuinely likes you, the wrong tease can genuinely shatter her ego.
When she asked for my address I started off just re-playing the "Ill have to think about it" that she did before she gave me hers.

Then when I sent it she said
"haha I know where you live, how do you know I'm not a wolf in sheeps clothing?"
me: "you don't taste like wolf"

Then I said " Make sure you wear something sexy"

a bit more back and forth and I said goodbye.
 

SuaveSausage

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She rang me last night, turns out she felt degraded by my "wear something sexy" text.... FFS!

I was pretty surprised by this as I've used it before without any trouble. I'm sure this is wrong, but I explained that it was meant to be fun and playful not degrading, blah blah blah... a bit more chat then said goodbye.

So I'll wait and see if she gets in touch again.
 

Machine10033

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She rang me last night, turns out she felt degraded by my "wear something sexy" text.... FFS!

I was pretty surprised by this as I've used it before without any trouble. I'm sure this is wrong, but I explained that it was meant to be fun and playful not degrading, blah blah blah... a bit more chat then said goodbye.

So I'll wait and see if she gets in touch again.
Bro you need to move on from this and keep your dignity. No don’t wait and see if she gets in touch again... go do something... find a new piece of ass. For ****s sake take pride in being a man and make no apologies for it. This chick is a flake And she’s trying to rationalize it...
 

lamath

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She rang me last night, turns out she felt degraded by my "wear something sexy" text.... FFS!

I was pretty surprised by this as I've used it before without any trouble. I'm sure this is wrong, but I explained that it was meant to be fun and playful not degrading, blah blah blah... a bit more chat then said goodbye.

So I'll wait and see if she gets in touch again.
Degraded by wear something sexy is ridiculous, dont invest much in that women she is bad quality.
 

John9999

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Typical woman. She is only guided by her feelings. And that changes from moment to moment. Geez.

And stop over thinking the crap outa this. That’s what women do.
 
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