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First date and drinks?

StrayCat

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I play tennis a couple times a week with a group of people. This one girl, 27, who was new to the group, wanted to go to a new wine & spirits place that just opened up. She looked at me and asked if I wanted to go with her. Since she's attractive, I said sure and then she asked my number and she texted me. I texted to confirm to meet last week, I believe on Thursday, but she said something came up and wanted to go this week instead. I texted back, sure for tomorrow. We all played a couple of games yesterday, and she asked me are we still on for tomorrow? I said, I need to make it a bit later, but sure. I said 7 work? She wanted to meet at happy hour and do a flight or something (not sure what that was). She looked it up on the phone and happy hour is all night, so she didn't care. She said 7 works. As strange as it sounds, she's having dinner at 6pm with one of the other girls in the group and meeting me for drinks. She asked if she should take an uber there, I said depends how much you drink. She said two or three drinks. You're call I responded. If all goes well, I'll offer her a ride home. I didn't want to throw that out prior.

So, is this a date? I really do not know how to proceed. What do I even talk about? Any pointers?
 

marmel75

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Duh. Yeah its a date. Be fun, be flirty and make sure you escalate during the evening.
 

StrayCat

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Duh. Yeah its a date. Be fun, be flirty and make sure you escalate during the evening.
Already started some kino yesterday. Any other tips? 43 to 27, big age difference. What to girls this age talk about? She's not on social media, which was surprising to me.
 

sazc

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Just go with the flow.
there's a good possibility she's going to show up with some friends.
just play it cool and take it for the moment, you never know if she or one of her friends is going to start flirting with you.
 

Robert28

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Already started some kino yesterday. Any other tips? 43 to 27, big age difference. What to girls this age talk about? She's not on social media, which was surprising to me.
The 24 yr old girl I see on a regular basis talks about everything older women talk about except her stupid ex and kids because she doesn’t have any thank god.
 

Igetit!

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I noticed on your profile,under "age" it says 43.

Is that correct?
 

StrayCat

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Just go with the flow.
there's a good possibility she's going to show up with some friends.
just play it cool and take it for the moment, you never know if she or one of her friends is going to start flirting with you.
That would suck. I'd hope not. She planned to eat dinner with the other girl at 6pm or and then meet up with me for drinks. The other girl doesn't drink. Not sure.

The 24 yr old girl I see on a regular basis talks about everything older women talk about except her stupid ex and kids because she doesn’t have any thank god.
Yea, she's talkative on a few things. She was telling me she's spent 12 hour days finalizing the term or something for her students. I said seems stressful, but it can't be that difficult. She didn't care for that response though. I mean, she's a music teacher. How hard can it be? She then said, here's my resting b-tch face (not sure what that means). I thought the age difference would be an issue, I guess we'll see.

I noticed on your profile,under "age" it says 43.

Is that correct?
Yea. I know the post is pathetic, but I've just been getting used to the dating scene after after a bitter divorce last year or so. Dating or whatever it's called now is so different then when I last dated. It's like another dimension. So I need to get used to this. I still sometimes like I'm trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
 

Dr.Suave

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27, no kids, and no social media?????? Sounds like a keeper.
 

cola

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Already started some kino yesterday. Any other tips? 43 to 27, big age difference. What to girls this age talk about? She's not on social media, which was surprising to me.
Since she likes older men she probably doesn’t wanna talk about what 27 year olds talk about. She wants to talk about what 43 year olds talk about.
 

Serenity

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Dating or whatever it's called now is so different then when I last dated. It's like another dimension. So I need to get used to this. I still sometimes like I'm trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
I'm 27, so I can't say for sure, but I think it's the same. The main difference is that it's less formal, it's not called a date even though that's what it is technically speaking. Don't ever ask if it's a date or even mention the word unironically, go with the flow, if it goes the direction you want then amplify it.
 

Trump

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I play tennis a couple times a week with a group of people. This one girl, 27, who was new to the group, wanted to go to a new wine & spirits place that just opened up. She looked at me and asked if I wanted to go with her. Since she's attractive, I said sure and then she asked my number and she texted me.

So, is this a date? I really do not know how to proceed. What do I even talk about? Any pointers?
Wow.

For a 27 year old girl, to ask a 43 year old guy out, you must be either

1) extremely extremely good looking
2) a multi multi millionaire
3) very powerful

In 2019, no unattached single available 27 year old girl would give a well connected rich good looking 30 year old guy the time of day. You are 43 and she is asking you out one on one?

I’m guessing she just got in a fight with her boyfriend because this sounds made up. Good looking 27 year old girls only sleep with men in their 40s when the men are movie stars.

Although sosuave members are a different breed altogether...
 

StrayCat

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27, no kids, and no social media?????? Sounds like a keeper.
Surprised about the social media too.

Since she likes older men she probably doesn’t wanna talk about what 27 year olds talk about. She wants to talk about what 43 year olds talk about.
I talk about different things to different people. Still trying to figure it out. She only started playing tennis with us three weeks ago, so still fresh.

I'm 27, so I can't say for sure, but I think it's the same. The main difference is that it's less formal, it's not called a date even though that's what it is technically speaking. Don't ever ask if it's a date or even mention the word unironically, go with the flow, if it goes the direction you want then amplify it.
It was easier after playing tennis as I was able to play off the other girls in the group. Tonight is just us, so just trying to figure out how to keep things interesting. Seems it comes and goes with different girls I go to drinks with. She likes wine and spirits, so at least she's doesn't have a stick up her a-s-s- like the one last week. Some seem to have these walls up that are made of steel.

Wow.

For a 27 year old girl, to ask a 43 year old guy out, you must be either

1) extremely extremely good looking
2) a multi multi millionaire
3) very powerful

In 2019, no unattached single available 27 year old girl would give a well connected rich good looking 30 year old guy the time of day. You are 43 and she is asking you out one on one?

I’m guessing she just got in a fight with her boyfriend because this sounds made up. Good looking 27 year old girls only sleep with men in their 40s when the men are movie stars.

Although sosuave members are a different breed altogether...
I sense a bit of sarcasm from your post. lol.
 

Designer Man

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Wow.

For a 27 year old girl, to ask a 43 year old guy out, you must be either

1) extremely extremely good looking
2) a multi multi millionaire
3) very powerful

In 2019, no unattached single available 27 year old girl would give a well connected rich good looking 30 year old guy the time of day. You are 43 and she is asking you out one on one?

I’m guessing she just got in a fight with her boyfriend because this sounds made up. Good looking 27 year old girls only sleep with men in their 40s when the men are movie stars.

Although sosuave members are a different breed altogether...
He's 43 and dominating the tennis court. Probably fitter than most 30 year olds. Good luck to the guy, he seems humble and not full of himself which is a good trait. She's probably sick of men telling her about all the things they have in life and sees this man as someone who's got his act together.

Keep us updated on this.
 

backseatjuan

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You gotta escalate man. Best you can do is to bring her back to your place for more drinks. That don't mean fcking right away, just several hours of fun, and escalation. Then maybe fcking.

Since she practically opened you, and invited you for drinks - that's a dream girl man - you can fck up by one of several ways, 1) if you talk yourself into lowering her IL, and 2) if you don't escalate with her. She knows what's up, she wants to get fcked on first date. Be sure to take her back home for more drinks.

Also, take uber, don't drink and drive.
 

Glassguy

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Wow.

For a 27 year old girl, to ask a 43 year old guy out, you must be either

1) extremely extremely good looking
2) a multi multi millionaire
3) very powerful

In 2019, no unattached single available 27 year old girl would give a well connected rich good looking 30 year old guy the time of day. You are 43 and she is asking you out one on one?

I’m guessing she just got in a fight with her boyfriend because this sounds made up. Good looking 27 year old girls only sleep with men in their 40s when the men are movie stars.

Although sosuave members are a different breed altogether...
Why the pessimism?

After my divorce I dated a 23 year old (at the beginning) and I was 35. She was just finishing up grad school, I was recently divorced and have a daughter. She had no kids, never married. Size 4 body and super attractive. We dated for just under 3 years.

I was neither a 10, a multi millionaire or very powerful.

Let me say it again because you missed it on the thread I started yesterday:

Your looks have to be good enough to get in the door. After that, if your personality can take over its an easy road to travel with women. Regardless of age.

@StrayCat
Let me tell you this- I am almost 42 yrs old and the age of women that I date/spin are 26-32. I can tell you that the age game is NOT an issue unless you make it an issue. Just act like you 2 are the same age when you meet up with her.

Let her lead the conversation (as you should anyway) and you just smile and ask a question about something she says here and there to keep her talking. That way you can see what topics she brings up, etc.

More and more, younger women want an older man. They want someone that can still go out and have fun on occasion but they also want someone who is mature and knows how to lead the relationship.

Go meet up with her and have a good time. Dont try to be someone you're not, let her come into your frame. She is obviously attracted to you.

Good luck and keep us posted.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Let me tell you this- I am almost 42 yrs old and the age of women that I date/spin are 26-32. I can tell you that the age game is NOT an issue unless you make it an issue. Just act like you 2 are the same age when you meet up with her.
This. Same experience. The only time this age gap matters is if you are using online dating, or I'd you haven't taken care of yourself. Don't bring up age, don't say anything that will make her think about it... Like references to things that would be before her time, or bring up generational topics, etc. I've found the latter can be tricky at first but make a conscious effort.

As for what to talk about, get her talking about things that will stir up emotions. I've found the best way to do this is by starting with a common general topic, and then drilling down in a specific way. Ask her where she works, but then don't continue that line of boring work questioning that most guys will. Instead ask her what the office politics are like. Ask her what she's good at, outside of work, then press her on why she is good and WHY she likes to do it.
 

Robert28

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Why the pessimism?

After my divorce I dated a 23 year old (at the beginning) and I was 35. She was just finishing up grad school, I was recently divorced and have a daughter. She had no kids, never married. Size 4 body and super attractive. We dated for just under 3 years.

I was neither a 10, a multi millionaire or very powerful.

Let me say it again because you missed it on the thread I started yesterday:

Your looks have to be good enough to get in the door. After that, if your personality can take over its an easy road to travel with women. Regardless of age.

@StrayCat
Let me tell you this- I am almost 42 yrs old and the age of women that I date/spin are 26-32. I can tell you that the age game is NOT an issue unless you make it an issue. Just act like you 2 are the same age when you meet up with her.

Let her lead the conversation (as you should anyway) and you just smile and ask a question about something she says here and there to keep her talking. That way you can see what topics she brings up, etc.

More and more, younger women want an older man. They want someone that can still go out and have fun on occasion but they also want someone who is mature and knows how to lead the relationship.

Go meet up with her and have a good time. Dont try to be someone you're not, let her come into your frame. She is obviously attracted to you.

Good luck and keep us posted.
Exactly right! I’m not the best looking guy BUT I’m plenty good looking enough to get my foot in the door with most (not all) women. My personality keeps them around for the long haul. Now, with that said, I’ve had to work hard on my transition from being the guy that could make women laugh to being the guy who knew wtf he was doing and not just the funny man all the time because that’ll get you killed in dating. You’ll become a side show for her and her friends. The laughter gets me the first date or two, then it’s time to take it up a notch. I know how to relax women and make them feel super comfortable around me, once that happens you’re almost home.
 

marmel75

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Wow.

For a 27 year old girl, to ask a 43 year old guy out, you must be either

1) extremely extremely good looking
2) a multi multi millionaire
3) very powerful

In 2019, no unattached single available 27 year old girl would give a well connected rich good looking 30 year old guy the time of day. You are 43 and she is asking you out one on one?

I’m guessing she just got in a fight with her boyfriend because this sounds made up. Good looking 27 year old girls only sleep with men in their 40s when the men are movie stars.

Although sosuave members are a different breed altogether...
This is just false on so many levels. There are a LOT of women who prefer older men. Dude you really should actually start dating women instead before posting the constant negativity.
 
A

AJ84

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That would suck. I'd hope not. She planned to eat dinner with the other girl at 6pm or and then meet up with me for drinks. The other girl doesn't drink. Not sure.



Yea, she's talkative on a few things. She was telling me she's spent 12 hour days finalizing the term or something for her students. I said seems stressful, but it can't be that difficult. She didn't care for that response though. I mean, she's a music teacher. How hard can it be? She then said, here's my resting b-tch face (not sure what that means). I thought the age difference would be an issue, I guess we'll see.



Yea. I know the post is pathetic, but I've just been getting used to the dating scene after after a bitter divorce last year or so. Dating or whatever it's called now is so different then when I last dated. It's like another dimension. So I need to get used to this. I still sometimes like I'm trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
She asked you out and asked for your number. That’s a date.
If she’s not making the age thing an issue, then follow her lead. If she wasn’t interested in drinks with a 43 year old man then she would not have asked you out.
As for what to talk about, tennis (maybe some pro tournaments currently happening) other sports she may like, her work. Just ask her questions about stuff you think she may talk about, based on what you have texted so far. She already mentioned being a music teacher which is actually not easy as it requires knowledge of music (I don’t mean top 40 hits lol) as well as patience to deal with a bunch of students. Invalidating her work by implying it’s not hard is a dumb move and will put you in a bad light so try not to say stuff that minimizes what she sees as relevant or important.
I always find that asking people about their interests and building on what they say seems to leave a good impression, even if you have zero interest in most of what they are saying lol.
Drinks will help make it less awkward for both of you.
Have fun :)
 

Serenity

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Tonight is just us, so just trying to figure out how to keep things interesting.
If she's interested already then all you gotta do is continue being yourself. You wouldn't believe the amount of guys who sabotage themselves in the interest of "keeping it interesting".

I'm probably too late with this response though?
 
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