Glassguy
Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2016
- Messages
- 4,663
- Reaction score
- 8,553
- Age
- 46
Think about that for a second. What is "game"? What is everyone trying to achieve?
Its a constantly repeated question on this forum, both in private messages people send me and also on a majority of threads. "How do I get better with game" is a commonly asked question.
I consider myself as a successful man when it comes to obtaining women, rotations, self respect, etc. I do so because I am getting the results that I want. That is success.
I must say that I really dont feel at any point of getting a number, sending a text, making a phone call or going on a date with a chick that I am "gaming" a woman. Ever. I can certainly feel how the momentum is going on a date, get a grip on what she responds well to in terms of kino, conversation, etc. Is that "game" or simply paying attention to the details in your surroundings?
I played baseball in college. If someone were to ask me to work with them on being a better baseball player, my question would be to them- "What areas of the game do you feel as if you need to improve? Hitting? Fielding? Throwing? Base running? Etc etc. Then I would break that or those individual areas down even further. Eventually we would get to the basic techniques and fundamentals. Being consistent at doing the basic fundamentals is the root of all success in anything.
First off, most guys know where they struggle and what areas they need to improve. The problem is that they dont want to put themselves into a position to do the work to improve. They want it to come easy. They want that magic bullet or magic text message to send a woman. They dont exist.
For the most part I dont think that I have ever really worked at the things that I would consider make me good at the "game" with women. I have always been in an environment that has allowed me to become really good at that things that I do well to attract women. Notice the part that said "where I do well with women". Not everyone can be great at everything. At 5'8, I would love to be 6'2, but it isnt going to happen. So subconsciously and consciously I have made myself better in other areas that I can control. And it works. The results speak for themselves.
So if we are going to break down "game", what would it be? For now lets just talk about ATTRACTING women as in from getting a number to most importantly, what behaviors work the best while out on one of those first few dates. My list would be a very short one, yet each one of these things can be developed if you struggle with them and can certainly always be better.
-Personality:
1.) Charisma- I might put charisma at the top of my list of ALL things. Why would I do this? Because when you make others feel good just by being around you, most of the work is already done. Charm. Presence. Aura. Individuality. There is not a woman on this earth that wont find charisma as a very attractive trait. It is also one of the main components in seduction. I would add being a positive minded person to charisma. Nothing will turn a woman off faster than a negative attitude and jaded view of the world and women in general.
2.) Laid back/fun/outgoing/social- Uptight people struggle with women. I have noticed this since I was in my teens. They do so because they do not know how to relax, have fun and let things come to them. There are very much people that are fun killers in this world, people who do not like to have a good time or see others having a good time. Who do you think does better with the ladies? Someone who is fun, laid back and letting things come to them or the opposite?
3.) Wittiness/sarcasm- Being able to think on your feet and have the right things roll of your tongue as if you didnt have to even think about the response is something that will drive women NUTS. Negging, push pull, all things you say must be natural, quick delivered and done to spark emotions.
4.) Control- Notice I didnt say "Controlling". That is totally different. Being IN CONTROL of the situation first and foremost means being in control of yourself, the one variable that you always have control over. Control in terms of leading. Control in terms of keeping a calm and collected manner about you if and when something happens on the date that could go terribly bad. Example: Drunk man accidentally stumbles into you while your out with a new chick and spills beer on your new $100 v neck shirt. Do you act like a fool? Do you want to fight? Or do you show no fvcks and laugh it off, accept the guys apology and show that you are not a man who loses control over himself? I can promise you that women want a guy who can protect himself but choses a calmer head when such a situation arises.
5.) Confidence- Nearly EVERY woman I have ever dated or had in my rotations has at one point in time or another made this statement to me"
"You are extremely confident yet you are not conceited. I find that very attractive and sexy". In order for a man to be an effective leader, he must be confident in where and how he is leading. I feel as though you never have to be an @sshole to a woman in order to look confident. Quite the opposite. You can be humble, compassionate and still have extreme confidence about you. How you talk. How you carry yourself. How you look at a woman as you seduce her. You arent trying to win approval, you are instead going after what you want. And you are confident that you will get it.
Confidence also brings about a characteristic in you that women will clearly identify as a man with options. You will walk if she shows signs of disrespect. You should have several options as far as other women in your life so that you dont have to put up with certain behaviors from one woman.
-Looks:
I am not going to go into great detail on this as it should be obvious. You need to have a current look about your wardrobe, style, etc and it should fit your personality. I am certainly not a gym rat but I eat relatively clean and I do work out. This is the #1 thing that you can change in a short amount of time and make the upgrade.
I feel as though Personality and Looks are the 2 biggest factors in initial attraction and raising attraction/interest. We can talk about money, status and all of the other things that are also important but for the average guy those arent going to come into play as often as personality and looks.
Your personality can be altered and adjusted for the better. The key is to put yourself around people who are stronger at the things that you are struggling with and practice through real life social settings to strengthen them.
If I were to rate myself on the above, I would honestly rate myself as follows:
Charisma- 10
Laid back/fun/outgoing/social-9
Wittiness/sarcasm- 9
Control- 10
Physical appearance- 8
Dress- 8.5
For me, I can honestly say that my personality is stronger than my appearance. I feel as if your appearance is good enough to attract 8's or higher, your personality will be strong enough to get the number, get the date and use the date as a attraction builder- leaving the date with her interest level in you higher than it was before the date itself.
I am not bragging, just stating what works for me. Its not a magic bullet. The beauty in these characteristics is this: it not only allows me to keep a rotation but these qualities, especially the personality related ones, allow me to build strong relationships in general and allow me to excel in many other areas of life.
So back to this- What is game?
I said before that I dont feel as if I have to run game on a woman. Ever. Game to me is a bandage masking the truth. Eventually the truth comes seeping out over time. Instead of thinking about game, think about making yourself better in these areas so that your natural presence is more attractive in itself. Be the best version of yourself and constantly be pushing yourself to get even better at things things. It takes work and practice. It takes a fair amount of rejection. In the end its worth it. It lasts much longer than "game".
I view game as a redirection away from yourself and putting yourself in a position of "selling" a woman on why she should want to go out with you. Isnt it easier just to be naturally attractive? And why are you "selling" a woman that she should date/sleep with you in the first place? If the following traits are on point you will notice quite the opposite. You will have options and an abundance mindset
Once you have the date, raise the woman's interest level, etc., there are far more topics that we could discuss going forward. Texing guidelines, how you maintain frame and control, how often you should be seeing a woman, etc etc.
Without initial attraction and being able to maintain or slightly raise a woman's initial attraction, those things do not matter. You will only find yourself going on dates that you may think went well but never hearing back from the woman.
As you can see, I am much more a fan of self improvement for success than I am sending a magic text messages or doing X,Y and Z to create attraction.
After all, if you can better yourself at these things, you will certainly be more attractive to more women, which gives you more options. Options and abundance eliminates virtually all insecure and needy desires that woman can smell a mile away.
Work on yourself. Put yourself out there. Self improve. Gain more options.
Its a constantly repeated question on this forum, both in private messages people send me and also on a majority of threads. "How do I get better with game" is a commonly asked question.
I consider myself as a successful man when it comes to obtaining women, rotations, self respect, etc. I do so because I am getting the results that I want. That is success.
I must say that I really dont feel at any point of getting a number, sending a text, making a phone call or going on a date with a chick that I am "gaming" a woman. Ever. I can certainly feel how the momentum is going on a date, get a grip on what she responds well to in terms of kino, conversation, etc. Is that "game" or simply paying attention to the details in your surroundings?
I played baseball in college. If someone were to ask me to work with them on being a better baseball player, my question would be to them- "What areas of the game do you feel as if you need to improve? Hitting? Fielding? Throwing? Base running? Etc etc. Then I would break that or those individual areas down even further. Eventually we would get to the basic techniques and fundamentals. Being consistent at doing the basic fundamentals is the root of all success in anything.
First off, most guys know where they struggle and what areas they need to improve. The problem is that they dont want to put themselves into a position to do the work to improve. They want it to come easy. They want that magic bullet or magic text message to send a woman. They dont exist.
For the most part I dont think that I have ever really worked at the things that I would consider make me good at the "game" with women. I have always been in an environment that has allowed me to become really good at that things that I do well to attract women. Notice the part that said "where I do well with women". Not everyone can be great at everything. At 5'8, I would love to be 6'2, but it isnt going to happen. So subconsciously and consciously I have made myself better in other areas that I can control. And it works. The results speak for themselves.
So if we are going to break down "game", what would it be? For now lets just talk about ATTRACTING women as in from getting a number to most importantly, what behaviors work the best while out on one of those first few dates. My list would be a very short one, yet each one of these things can be developed if you struggle with them and can certainly always be better.
-Personality:
1.) Charisma- I might put charisma at the top of my list of ALL things. Why would I do this? Because when you make others feel good just by being around you, most of the work is already done. Charm. Presence. Aura. Individuality. There is not a woman on this earth that wont find charisma as a very attractive trait. It is also one of the main components in seduction. I would add being a positive minded person to charisma. Nothing will turn a woman off faster than a negative attitude and jaded view of the world and women in general.
2.) Laid back/fun/outgoing/social- Uptight people struggle with women. I have noticed this since I was in my teens. They do so because they do not know how to relax, have fun and let things come to them. There are very much people that are fun killers in this world, people who do not like to have a good time or see others having a good time. Who do you think does better with the ladies? Someone who is fun, laid back and letting things come to them or the opposite?
3.) Wittiness/sarcasm- Being able to think on your feet and have the right things roll of your tongue as if you didnt have to even think about the response is something that will drive women NUTS. Negging, push pull, all things you say must be natural, quick delivered and done to spark emotions.
4.) Control- Notice I didnt say "Controlling". That is totally different. Being IN CONTROL of the situation first and foremost means being in control of yourself, the one variable that you always have control over. Control in terms of leading. Control in terms of keeping a calm and collected manner about you if and when something happens on the date that could go terribly bad. Example: Drunk man accidentally stumbles into you while your out with a new chick and spills beer on your new $100 v neck shirt. Do you act like a fool? Do you want to fight? Or do you show no fvcks and laugh it off, accept the guys apology and show that you are not a man who loses control over himself? I can promise you that women want a guy who can protect himself but choses a calmer head when such a situation arises.
5.) Confidence- Nearly EVERY woman I have ever dated or had in my rotations has at one point in time or another made this statement to me"
"You are extremely confident yet you are not conceited. I find that very attractive and sexy". In order for a man to be an effective leader, he must be confident in where and how he is leading. I feel as though you never have to be an @sshole to a woman in order to look confident. Quite the opposite. You can be humble, compassionate and still have extreme confidence about you. How you talk. How you carry yourself. How you look at a woman as you seduce her. You arent trying to win approval, you are instead going after what you want. And you are confident that you will get it.
Confidence also brings about a characteristic in you that women will clearly identify as a man with options. You will walk if she shows signs of disrespect. You should have several options as far as other women in your life so that you dont have to put up with certain behaviors from one woman.
-Looks:
I am not going to go into great detail on this as it should be obvious. You need to have a current look about your wardrobe, style, etc and it should fit your personality. I am certainly not a gym rat but I eat relatively clean and I do work out. This is the #1 thing that you can change in a short amount of time and make the upgrade.
I feel as though Personality and Looks are the 2 biggest factors in initial attraction and raising attraction/interest. We can talk about money, status and all of the other things that are also important but for the average guy those arent going to come into play as often as personality and looks.
Your personality can be altered and adjusted for the better. The key is to put yourself around people who are stronger at the things that you are struggling with and practice through real life social settings to strengthen them.
If I were to rate myself on the above, I would honestly rate myself as follows:
Charisma- 10
Laid back/fun/outgoing/social-9
Wittiness/sarcasm- 9
Control- 10
Physical appearance- 8
Dress- 8.5
For me, I can honestly say that my personality is stronger than my appearance. I feel as if your appearance is good enough to attract 8's or higher, your personality will be strong enough to get the number, get the date and use the date as a attraction builder- leaving the date with her interest level in you higher than it was before the date itself.
I am not bragging, just stating what works for me. Its not a magic bullet. The beauty in these characteristics is this: it not only allows me to keep a rotation but these qualities, especially the personality related ones, allow me to build strong relationships in general and allow me to excel in many other areas of life.
So back to this- What is game?
I said before that I dont feel as if I have to run game on a woman. Ever. Game to me is a bandage masking the truth. Eventually the truth comes seeping out over time. Instead of thinking about game, think about making yourself better in these areas so that your natural presence is more attractive in itself. Be the best version of yourself and constantly be pushing yourself to get even better at things things. It takes work and practice. It takes a fair amount of rejection. In the end its worth it. It lasts much longer than "game".
I view game as a redirection away from yourself and putting yourself in a position of "selling" a woman on why she should want to go out with you. Isnt it easier just to be naturally attractive? And why are you "selling" a woman that she should date/sleep with you in the first place? If the following traits are on point you will notice quite the opposite. You will have options and an abundance mindset
Once you have the date, raise the woman's interest level, etc., there are far more topics that we could discuss going forward. Texing guidelines, how you maintain frame and control, how often you should be seeing a woman, etc etc.
Without initial attraction and being able to maintain or slightly raise a woman's initial attraction, those things do not matter. You will only find yourself going on dates that you may think went well but never hearing back from the woman.
As you can see, I am much more a fan of self improvement for success than I am sending a magic text messages or doing X,Y and Z to create attraction.
After all, if you can better yourself at these things, you will certainly be more attractive to more women, which gives you more options. Options and abundance eliminates virtually all insecure and needy desires that woman can smell a mile away.
Work on yourself. Put yourself out there. Self improve. Gain more options.
