Indifference vs Putting you foot down

[Pandora]

I was at a pool party with my gf and a bunch of female friends that I have known for years. Of course the topic of sex and relationships comes up. One girl says that she cant be with nice guys because it is not fair to the nice guy. She will destroy him. He will let her get away with too much stuff and she cant help but take advantage of it. She said that she likes to belittle her man publicly and she needs a strong man to put her in her place. She said she also likes men that play mind games with her and that straightforward guys are too boring. I was in shock but I respected her self awareness and honesty. Everyone laughed and made a joke about thats why they are still single.

My gf used to belittle me around her friends until I had to almost forcefully check her on it. She did it unconsciously. Its like she couldnt help it. She would cry afterwards. Ever since I threatened to leave her if she ever did it again, it has decreased dramatically. I had a raise my voice and be very stern for her to stop.

I am a big fan of indifference in dating but everything in life is a balance. You need to also know when to call out bad behavior. As illustrated by this story, these girls act on unconscious self destructive motivations. They are begging for a guy to set boundaries for them. Its sick and perverse. Not all women are like that but many are.

I told my friend that the nice guys are the ones that make the best husbands and bf's. She replied that she would rather be in a string of long term relationships with unpredictable manipulative men then ever settle down with one boring guy. She also added that she has a guy friend that professed his love to her and how he really likes her. He is a decent looking guy but is just not "her type". She loves hanging with him and will keep him around because he is a great guy but she just cant see herself getting physical with him. It had nothing to do with looks or personality she just likes " manipulative weird ****ed in the head guys". This lame azz friendzone dude said "I would rather have you in my life as a friend then nothing at all" da fuq!!

Even my gf who is a hardened feminist conceded after this conversation. She really just didnt know how bad it was. Ever since dating me she has taken a small amout of redpill. She now understands and admits that there are some very dysfunctional women out there and that redpill guys have some valid points.

Points to be taken from this;
1.) Never ever ever ever take a girls evaluation of you personally guys. Many women have weird criteria for men. It often has nothing to do with hypergamy ( defining hypergamy as a man richer, smarter and more emotionally stable).

2.) The friend zone does not mean that you are unattractive to her. She can be just a weirdo. Move on.

3.) As men we need to find the balance between indifference and setting boundaries. I still have not figured it out.

4.) Many women are like goldfish. They will eat at the cawk buffet until they explode.

5.) They act on unconcious impulses and they cant help it. They will destroy you if you let them.

6.) We are all ****ed unless we get a foreign women untouched by feminism

 

[jaymbrs]

Not all women are like that. Some actually do not like to be put in their place. Trust me I've lost women because I'm not a beta type of guy and needed to stand up for myself on several occasions. Some honestly want a guy they can beat up on. My coworker gets put down by his wife publicly quite often and he doesn't do anything about it. It's baffling but that's the way it works for them.

 

[speed dawg]

She said that she likes to belittle her man publicly and she needs a strong man to put her in her place. She said she also likes men that play mind games with her and that straightforward guys are too boring. I was in shock but I respected her self awareness and honesty. Everyone laughed and made a joke about thats why they are still single.

My gf used to belittle me around her friends until I had to almost forcefully check her on it. She did it unconsciously. Its like she couldnt help it. She would cry afterwards. Ever since I threatened to leave her if she ever did it again, it has decreased dramatically. I had a raise my voice and be very stern for her to stop.

No, they don't LIKE to belittle people, that's just what low quality people do to people they do not respect, or that allow it.

It's going to take a guy that swerves into the 'jerk' category to keep her attracted, unfortunately. As the poster above said, girls like that have issues. The game is even MORE necessary for them, they are even more subject to their emotions (and generally bad emotions).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I won't say I'm terribly happy with my results but at least these control freak women are immediately repulsed by me. I tend to attract very feminine women that want romance/raw attraction.

That's the type I like too. The controllers try to kill and diminish my drive. That's most of the fun for the ladies who understands. They get excited off of how high my excitement goes.

 

[oOh Nasty]

I don't think that being indifferent and setting boundaries are necessarily contradicting to each other. I'd say, having standards and setting boundaries and being indifferent about whether she accepts those boundaries or not is the best way to go about it. If she plays by your rules, then she can stay. If not, then she can get the f*ck out.

I think this also ties in with the whole concept of mate-guarding. There's a difference between mate-guarding and straight up not accepting what a girl does and then demoting her. Someone who mate-guard's would portray his actions along the lines of "Don't do this! This is not what couples do to each other! I won't accept this. I'll cry, but at the same time, I don't necessarily want to leave you." The indifferent man would be more like "Oh. So this is how you want to act. You can do this with other men, but you damn sure won't be doing it with me." And then kicks her to the curb.

Let your boundaries be known, and if she doesn't accept them, then leave her in the wild for some other beta to be devoured by her.

Of course, this is just an extreme. If you're in an LTR with a girl and she continually tests your boundaries, then she's probably not healthy for an LTR. As far as being indifferent, I don't think any man should ever be "indifferent" to bad behavior - in the sense that you're turning the other cheek when she does something that makes you uncomfortable. The thing we should be indifferent about is whether or not she'll be a part of your life based on her behavior.

 

[sazc]

Tldr

Have personal standards for the way people treat you, and stick to them.

It's really that simple when you aren't afraid of losing the pvssy. When you are afraid of losing the pvssy, you are beta

 

[Pandora]

I don't think that being indifferent and setting boundaries are necessarily contradicting to each other. I'd say, having standards and setting boundaries and being indifferent about whether she accepts those boundaries or not is the best way to go about it. If she plays by your rules, then she can stay. If not, then she can get the f*ck out.


Of course, this is just an extreme. If you're in an LTR with a girl and she continually tests your boundaries, then she's probably not healthy for an LTR. As far as being indifferent, I don't think any man should ever be "indifferent" to bad behavior - in the sense that you're turning the other cheek when she does something that makes you uncomfortable. The thing we should be indifferent about is whether or not she'll be a part of your life based on her behavior.

Hey man thanks for explaining it to me. I was having a hard time trying to reconcile being indifferent vs having boundaries. I think you nailed it.

 

[Pandora]

Your GF has serious issues with men and you will suffer for it.

One of the absolute worst things women hate is being embarrassed by you in public, close to unforgivable (with the rise of NPD it actually often is). I found this out the hard way bc I can be rude and take humor too far sometimes. The fact that she does it to you at all means resentment and zero respect.

I agree man. I told her this too. I said " i dont think you really respect me or men". She is a super feminist and we always butted heads on these topics. In the end I got her to see some of the insanity of feminism. I also realized that most feminism on the individual level is driven by male abandonment issues.

It is so difficult to find women that dont have some type of resentment towards men bro. Either they resent their father and become feminist. Or they have played the **** carousel for so long that they become resentful towards men. This is especially true in highly " educated" areas of the United States like the upper northeast. I found that girls out west and down south are easier to deal with.

 

[Pandora]

Doesn't take much imagination to see myself in a sexless marriage working as a slave to provide for a family of three in the second scenario.

Well atleast the second girl is predictable and not totally delusional. At least she is trying to settle down and find a provider and husband. She is definitely the lesser of two evils. Working like a slave for a now overweight overbearing wife with 3 kids sounds about right bro lol. Pick your poison. Thats better than being single in your mid 40s dealing with post wall cat ladies. At least in the second scenario you would have children that you can mold into good people.

One of my top 3 movies of all time is Blue Valentine and they delve into this issue of a sexless marriage among other things.

 

[Alvafe]

lost a good way to joke about her being a bad person, and possible never be happy, btw you should never date a declared feminist, its rewarding bad behavior