Recent content by kakkerlak1985

Look, I am dealing with a trauma from childhood. Although the past is the past wounds still exist, like scartissue. These wounds are effecting the rest of my life. This specificly has to do with girls. I do not. My problem has specifically to do with girls. This is the whole reason I locked...

Its just a hour a day and muscles will not grow harder if I spend 10 more hours a day at the gym. I am not arguing against it; I am saying that there are about 16 waking hours in a day and the gym only takes one. Let it be two and there are still 14 hours left. I don't belief. I don't know what...

Zero. Discounting hookers.

Only a fantasy to me. I say this while trying to hug a cold concrete wall.

I don't really know about breakups, but at the moment I feel terrible, horrible and have a broken heart. At the same time I discovered Pink Floyd and the more I listen to it the better I feel.

About two years ago I began doing volunteer work and this has a large positive impact on me. I got some social contacts and figured out that I can do a lot more than I thought about myself. I actually got a lot of compliments for my hard work. (I never imagined myself to be a hard worker and in...

Advice from someone who got his first kiss at age 37... I never did anything with my life and instead played computer games and watched Netflix/YouTube all day long. I looked out of the window and see life go bye bye only to distract myself again and again from the self inflicted pain of doing...

The only thing I want more is a family for which a woman is required. There is nothing else I want more. Everything else is secondary. Saying otherwise would be a lie. I cannot brainwash myself to belief anything else. Most women are uninteresting and annoy me. At best I might want to have sex...

This is how I met this woman I spend time with and who gave me my first kiss. The place I work at is filled with women and she is the only one I have a good personal connection with. She is also the only person I spend time with outside of work. Most, if not all, other women are in a...

Therapy This makes me feel even more helpless. In my youth these are the people who have poisoned my mind and screwed with my identity. Every time I tried to look for help from "mental health professionals" I get confronted with what I perceive to be "empty people". They look at me with big...

Thanks for the responses. I told myself this about 10 years ago. I know for a long time I'm screwing up my own life and have just been painfully confronted with the consequences of my inaction. Sadly I cannot even use ignorance as an excuse. Something in me knew different. I am more sexually...

I am confronted with my reflection in the mirror and do not like what I see. I wonder if there is any hope and if anything can be done. I am 37 years old, had a very traumatic youth and then I spend about 15 years of my adult life living in isolation playing video games. Avoiding life...