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Interesting Cold Approach over the weekend

Glassguy

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I do cold approaches when I see what could be taken as IOIs from attractive women. I typically DO NOT just go up to random women and strike up a conversation out of the blue if I dont feel as though she is welcoming it.

This past weekend I was in Louisville for my daughter's national travel volleyball tournament. On Saturday night she had a team dinner so I was on my own in terms of dinner. So I went to a pretty decent steak restaurant, sat at the bar and ordered a beer.

Directly across the bar from me was a very attractive woman, late 20s to 30, with a guy. I observed their interaction. Neither wearing rings, she didnt touch him at all, sat facing forward instead of facing him, she didnt look at him that often and their conversation seemed bad based on the amount they were talking to each other. She looked way out of this guy's league.

Soon after I sat down I realized she was looking at me. I would glance in her direction and she would look away. After a couple of times she didnt look away and I just gave her a smirky grin. She smiled and looked away again.

While ordering my food I was talking to the bartender who happened to also be from Ohio. I told him that those 2 across the bar appeared to be on a devastating first date. She was drinking water, he was drinking beer. It was a dead give away. The bartender said that they had been there for about an hour.

This is where it gets good: I notice the bartender take them the check and she had her check and he has his check (dutch). After the guy signed his credit card invoice he got up to go to the bathroom.
I called the waiter over to order another beer and asked him to do me a favor. I asked him to walk over and tell the woman that if she wanted to turn a bad date into a good one, simply leave the restaurant, sit in her car for a few minutes while her date left and then come back in and sit by me.

While he was telling her this she looked over at me. I smiled, pointed to the chair beside me and said "See you in about 5 minutes if this chair is still free" and winked at her. She smiled and didnt say anything.

As soon as the guy gets back I can see her telling him that she has to get up early and is ready to go. As they walk away from the bar she looks over at me and I pretend to look down at my watch as if to say "hurry up".

So I sat there for a few minutes and she walks back in, sits down beside me and the first thing I say is "You need a drink thats not water and the first round is on you for me bailing you out of that disaster date you were on".

We chatted and drank for the next hour. Logistically there was no way sex was going to happen since I was staying in a hotel with my daughter potentially coming back at any time. But I got her number, let her know that I would be back in the area in a few weeks for another tournament and the chick has been blowing my phone up since. And she is a pretty good kisser as she proved as we left the restaurant.

Just a quick approach story. I gave myself a pat on the back as I have never pulled a chick away from a date before (never had to) but it felt like I conquered the world when that chick walked out and then walked back in 3 minutes later and straight to the chair beside me at the bar.

Happy hunting.
 

BackInTheGame78

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hahaha that is awesome! I wish I could have that type of luck when I am out by myself...last time I was travelling and at at the bar by myself I had a guy and his girlfriend sit next to me and she just struck up a convo with me, ended up buying me a drink when she found out I was from out of town and literally spent most of the next hour talking to me while the dude did stuff on his phone and watched sports on TV...it felt kind of weird and I was like WTF is going on here...

One of the fun things I do when I am out with a woman on a first date is to play the first date game where we look at other people and try and determine who is on a first date...if we disagree then we go up and chat them up and find out...with the bet is loser buys the next drink...

That would have probably been an easy one that both of us would have tagged as a first date.
 

biggoal

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I do cold approaches when I see what could be taken as IOIs from attractive women. I typically DO NOT just go up to random women and strike up a conversation out of the blue if I dont feel as though she is welcoming it.

This past weekend I was in Louisville for my daughter's national travel volleyball tournament. On Saturday night she had a team dinner so I was on my own in terms of dinner. So I went to a pretty decent steak restaurant, sat at the bar and ordered a beer.

Directly across the bar from me was a very attractive woman, late 20s to 30, with a guy. I observed their interaction. Neither wearing rings, she didnt touch him at all, sat facing forward instead of facing him, she didnt look at him that often and their conversation seemed bad based on the amount they were talking to each other. She looked way out of this guy's league.

Soon after I sat down I realized she was looking at me. I would glance in her direction and she would look away. After a couple of times she didnt look away and I just gave her a smirky grin. She smiled and looked away again.

While ordering my food I was talking to the bartender who happened to also be from Ohio. I told him that those 2 across the bar appeared to be on a devastating first date. She was drinking water, he was drinking beer. It was a dead give away. The bartender said that they had been there for about an hour.

This is where it gets good: I notice the bartender take them the check and she had her check and he has his check (dutch). After the guy signed his credit card invoice he got up to go to the bathroom.
I called the waiter over to order another beer and asked him to do me a favor. I asked him to walk over and tell the woman that if she wanted to turn a bad date into a good one, simply leave the restaurant, sit in her car for a few minutes while her date left and then come back in and sit by me.

While he was telling her this she looked over at me. I smiled, pointed to the chair beside me and said "See you in about 5 minutes if this chair is still free" and winked at her. She smiled and didnt say anything.

As soon as the guy gets back I can see her telling him that she has to get up early and is ready to go. As they walk away from the bar she looks over at me and I pretend to look down at my watch as if to say "hurry up".

So I sat there for a few minutes and she walks back in, sits down beside me and the first thing I say is "You need a drink thats not water and the first round is on you for me bailing you out of that disaster date you were on".

We chatted and drank for the next hour. Logistically there was no way sex was going to happen since I was staying in a hotel with my daughter potentially coming back at any time. But I got her number, let her know that I would be back in the area in a few weeks for another tournament and the chick has been blowing my phone up since. And she is a pretty good kisser as she proved as we left the restaurant.

Just a quick approach story. I gave myself a pat on the back as I have never pulled a chick away from a date before (never had to) but it felt like I conquered the world when that chick walked out and then walked back in 3 minutes later and straight to the chair beside me at the bar.

Happy hunting.
Probably was an OLD date.
 

jaymbrs

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I just don't see the point in doing all of this if there's a 99.9% chance of nothing happening afterwards. If you're brushing up on interacting with women, then okay. But other than that, all it is is an ego stroke.
 

Glassguy

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This was my thought at the time:

1.) I was content sitting there drinking a beer and ordering a steak by myself.

2.) If she bought it and came over, I had some company and conversation.

3.) If she didnt, I still had a cold beer and a steak.

Indifference is the key. Am I glad she came back? Sure. But it wasnt going to change my frame or demeanor either way. Which is part of why she probably came back.
 

jaymbrs

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This was my thought at the time:

1.) I was content sitting there drinking a beer and ordering a steak by myself.

2.) If she bought it and came over, I had some company and conversation.

3.) If she didnt, I still had a cold beer and a steak.

Indifference is the key. Am I glad she came back? Sure. But it wasnt going to change my frame or demeanor either way. Which is part of why she probably came back.
You're probably just more social than I am.
 

Glassguy

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If you're brushing up on interacting with women, then okay. But other than that, all it is is an ego stroke.
At either way its a gain.

Got her number, she has been initiating lots of messaging and called me yesterday. Going to be back in her area in 2 weeks for another weekend long tournament. Will meet up again then.

She is also a pharma sales rep. She comes within an hour of me and has already mentioned possibly going to that area on a Friday and then coming up to hang out.
 

The Duke

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I just don't see the point in doing all of this if there's a 99.9% chance of nothing happening afterwards. If you're brushing up on interacting with women, then okay. But other than that, all it is is an ego stroke.
For me its always about the thrill of the hunt, not about eating what I shot! :) Thats the easiest part.
 

Barrister

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This was my thought at the time:

1.) I was content sitting there drinking a beer and ordering a steak by myself.

2.) If she bought it and came over, I had some company and conversation.

3.) If she didnt, I still had a cold beer and a steak.

Indifference is the key. Am I glad she came back? Sure. But it wasnt going to change my frame or demeanor either way. Which is part of why she probably came back.
You hit the nail on the head. When you don't care what happens you're essentially in the zone. Women can sense this and it makes the man magnetic.

Thanks for the enjoyable read.
 

biggoal

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For me its always about the thrill of the hunt, not about eating what I shot! :) Thats the easiest part.
Doesn't it get old after awhile? Wouldn't you rather just be rich and buxx them, buy them basically like a lot of old guys do?
 

jaymbrs

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For me its always about the thrill of the hunt, not about eating what I shot! :) Thats the easiest part.
Maybe things will change when I'm in my 40s. But right now, I shoot to kill.
 

Glassguy

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For one, I went to the place for a steak and a couple of cold beers. This was a bonus. I wasn't looking for a fight with a random stranger over a chick. Had I walked over to her and hitting on her when he walked out it would have gotten rather ugly quickly. Do you think she would have been up for coming over after a big scene broke out putting her in a bad spot?
Instead, in a fun manner (I see nothing ROMANTIC about it.....its more witty than anything) it made it EASY for her to come back in. I will assume she was very curious and turned on by the way I did this in a confident yet witty way.

Secondly, I had talked to the waiter about Ohio State stuff (look at my avitar) on and off for 30 minutes as he kept coming over and sharing stories about going there. He was a good message carrier. It was far too busy to scream across the bar at her and he had no issues in passing along the message. I also left him a very good tip at the end of the evening.

And I am good with women. I am also very good in the industry that I own a business in. It's not bragging if it's the truth. You should try it sometime.

Most of being good with women is common sense. You should try that sometime as well.
 

samspade

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Breakdown...

Directly across the bar from me was a very attractive woman, late 20s to 30, with a guy. I observed their interaction. Neither wearing rings, she didnt touch him at all, sat facing forward instead of facing him, she didnt look at him that often and their conversation seemed bad based on the amount they were talking to each other. She looked way out of this guy's league.

You caught several key details, very observant.

Soon after I sat down I realized she was looking at me. I would glance in her direction and she would look away. After a couple of times she didnt look away and I just gave her a smirky grin. She smiled and looked away again.

The stare-down grin = vagina tingle. Details don't matter without action.

This is where it gets good: I notice the bartender take them the check and she had her check and he has his check (dutch). After the guy signed his credit card invoice he got up to go to the bathroom.
I called the waiter over to order another beer and asked him to do me a favor. I asked him to walk over and tell the woman that if she wanted to turn a bad date into a good one, simply leave the restaurant, sit in her car for a few minutes while her date left and then come back in and sit by me.


Well done. It ***seems*** like a bold move. But what's really at stake here? @Glassguy is already enjoying himself at the bar and chatting up the bartender. He's simply offering the open seat next to him. There's nothing to it, really. If you're looking for the definition of the Abundance Mindset, there it is. He's alone (but already demonstrating social skills with the bartender) and enjoying himself. He doesn't own the seat next to him. The abundance here is simply the offer of good company.

While he was telling her this she looked over at me. I smiled, pointed to the chair beside me and said "See you in about 5 minutes if this chair is still free" and winked at her. She smiled and didnt say anything.

If you want it, here it is, come and get it but you better hurry 'cause it's going fast.

So I sat there for a few minutes and she walks back in, sits down beside me and the first thing I say is "You need a drink thats not water and the first round is on you for me bailing you out of that disaster date you were on".

DHV. "I did just did you a favor, time to settle up." This was an excellent move. Robert Mitchum level. Of course if you had said "Let me buy you a drink, you look like you need one after that" it would have been fine, too. It's all in your mindset. (I say this because some guys aren't that bold...yet. No need to get lost in the weeds, just be c0cky and give value.)

We chatted and drank for the next hour. Logistically there was no way sex was going to happen since I was staying in a hotel with my daughter potentially coming back at any time. But I got her number, let her know that I would be back in the area in a few weeks for another tournament and the chick has been blowing my phone up since. And she is a pretty good kisser as she proved as we left the restaurant.

Well done all-around, Slugger. I hope you gave your bartender a big fat tip.
 

Glassguy

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I do get it.
It worked out for him so the point is moot i guess.
I should take note because i have in the past got into such situations hahaha. Is there such a thing as too much boldness??
You miss a lot of points as to the things I do.

I do avoid confrontation when possible as it never seems to have a positive outcome.

I do most of my approaches and communication in general with women in a witty yet confident way. I seldom act conceited but I am definitely a good mixture of confidence and humbleness.

BTW, the guy she was with was about 6'2 ish, overweight but definitely didnt look like a slouch (other than the wrinkled flannel shirt he was wearing). So no, walking over there while he was in the pisser and hitting on the chick he just met up with was certainly not a good idea.

Please explain to me how conflict increases the chance of getting her over to my seat? I am sure we would all love to hear your explanation.

I will keep my game as is as it works for me. I used discretion and wit to give her the option. I had the bartender let her know the chair was essentially open if she was interested in returning.

All done covertly and discreetly which made it EASY/EASIER for her to take up the offer.
 

Glassguy

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I hope you gave your bartender a big fat tip.
I certainly did. He was quick to point out that he would keep the chair open for me when I came back in a few weeks. I let him know to keep both chairs open as she would again be joining me at the bar when I returned.

For the time that she returned and we chatted and drank he would come over and talk about more Ohio State stuff. There is a point to that: as a man, regardless of the situation and conversation topic, when you have anyone gravitate to you it shows social status. I am smart enough to find a few quick similar interests with people that it becomes the norm for them to continue engaging me in conversation.

Several times he said "I didnt mean to barge in on yall's conversation" after he would come over and say something. I quickly said "Nah you're fine man. We can talk about the Buckeyes all night" and she gave me a look as to say "Hey what about just talking to me?". But that is another point......I didnt put ALL THE FOCUS on her. I remained doing what I wanted and I like to talk about college football in general. Another positive point about me in her head. I resumed doing what I was doing before she got there. She was just now joining me.

The key to what I do in the dating world and with any relationship is this:

There is always a purpose for what I am doing. Seldom am I dont something just for shytes and gigs.

I went there Saturday night with a purpose of a couple of ice cold draft beers and a good steak. I deserved it. Anything else was a bonus.

Every bit of interaction with the bartender to the chick was done with a purpose.

At first the chick was sitting facing forward (for probably the first 5 minutes). As we got into some banter and conversation:

1.) Within 10 minutes she was actually sitting sideways in her chair and facing me, with her feet on the foot part of my chair. (not once did she face the other guy while he was there).

2.) She playfully tapped my shoulder and then my leg during part of a conversation that I playfully let her know we didnt agree upon (not once did I see her even touch this guy).

3.) She was looking at me most of the conversation (didnt look at the other guy much at all)

4.) Numerous times I noticed her playing with her hair, twirling it around her finger.

5.) When the bartender asked me about the check, I told him the first round was on her and to put the rest on my tab. Her only reaction was "I am only going to let you buy my other drinks if we are going to do this again when you return in a couple of weeks".


How a woman reacts to you is a mirror of your game. The scenario on how this woman clearly reacted to the first guy and how her and her body language responded to me were totally different.

Do everything with a purpose, be outcome indifferent and keep everything fun (as in light and playful....not try to be a comedian).
 

Barrister

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I certainly did. He was quick to point out that he would keep the chair open for me when I came back in a few weeks. I let him know to keep both chairs open as she would again be joining me at the bar when I returned.

For the time that she returned and we chatted and drank he would come over and talk about more Ohio State stuff. There is a point to that: as a man, regardless of the situation and conversation topic, when you have anyone gravitate to you it shows social status. I am smart enough to find a few quick similar interests with people that it becomes the norm for them to continue engaging me in conversation.

Several times he said "I didnt mean to barge in on yall's conversation" after he would come over and say something. I quickly said "Nah you're fine man. We can talk about the Buckeyes all night" and she gave me a look as to say "Hey what about just talking to me?". But that is another point......I didnt put ALL THE FOCUS on her. I remained doing what I wanted and I like to talk about college football in general. Another positive point about me in her head. I resumed doing what I was doing before she got there. She was just now joining me.

The key to what I do in the dating world and with any relationship is this:

There is always a purpose for what I am doing. Seldom am I dont something just for shytes and gigs.

I went there Saturday night with a purpose of a couple of ice cold draft beers and a good steak. I deserved it. Anything else was a bonus.

Every bit of interaction with the bartender to the chick was done with a purpose.

At first the chick was sitting facing forward (for probably the first 5 minutes). As we got into some banter and conversation:

1.) Within 10 minutes she was actually sitting sideways in her chair and facing me, with her feet on the foot part of my chair. (not once did she face the other guy while he was there).

2.) She playfully tapped my shoulder and then my leg during part of a conversation that I playfully let her know we didnt agree upon (not once did I see her even touch this guy).

3.) She was looking at me most of the conversation (didnt look at the other guy much at all)

4.) Numerous times I noticed her playing with her hair, twirling it around her finger.

5.) When the bartender asked me about the check, I told him the first round was on her and to put the rest on my tab. Her only reaction was "I am only going to let you buy my other drinks if we are going to do this again when you return in a couple of weeks".


How a woman reacts to you is a mirror of your game. The scenario on how this woman clearly reacted to the first guy and how her and her body language responded to me were totally different.

Do everything with a purpose, be outcome indifferent and keep everything fun (as in light and playful....not try to be a comedian).
Great points - you did everything well except for the part about being an Ohio State fan. While normally borderline unforgivable, I guess I can let it go this once since it is a minor point in the story! :p
 
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