Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Told my girl about my family. She ghosted...

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,146
Location
DFW, TX
So I guess I did something stupid, though, she'd probably find out about it anyway. We were getting good, at least I thought. We were even planning on our first long week plus vacation in November. It was a cruise of some sort. She never Google'd me, but if she did, she'd find out about my siblings in prison. So, I thought it would be best to tell her. It wasn't anything violent that they did, only financial. I am not close with my family, so it didn't involve me. She came over the next day, and told me she Google me and my family. I said any questions? She said no. We still had sex a few times, but something was different. She wouldn't do oral and she seemed not interested or distant. Regardless, I just shrugged it off and continued on. She brought over DVDs for ER, which we both enjoy watching from time to time. We cooked dinner, went to sleep. Hadn't heard from her in a few days so I called, she didn't answer. She texted back, she's with a friend. I said I see. Then she said she didn't want to see me anymore. She likes me and enjoys my company, but I am looking for my one true love, my best friend (or something like that). I was in shock, but I just said okay, take care. The next day, it hit me so I texted her, I miss you. I do not know why I said this, I feel like a moron. She then immediately replied back that she missed me. She then changed her mind and just wanted a break. However, it didn't feel right to me, so I said that's not cool with me, so take care.

I am still shellshocked. I have no idea what happened. This is the same girl who introduced me to her parents on the second date. She's very close with her family. I cannot believe a girl would change her mind just because my siblings went to prison. It has nothing to do with me. I do not understand. I am so confused how a girl can introduce me to her whole family, say I was the one she was looking for, plan things and vacations and then just in a bat of an eye ghost like it was nothing.
Why do u think her googling your family reduced her interest?
 

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
5,242
Reaction score
3,824
Location
象外
It has nothing to do with me. I do not understand. I am so confused how a girl can introduce me to her whole family, say I was the one she was looking for, plan things and vacations and then just in a bat of an eye ghost like it was nothing.
This is what happened.

First, saw that you had family in prison.

Second she thought about all her friends, family, finding out about her dating a guy with family in prison.

That was way too terrifying to her, so she bolted.

Something like this you need to pre-frame early. Think of putting ideas in her head that she can later use against friends and family who ask about why you've got family in prison.

Play it off as no big deal, early as you can.

That fact has to be in her brain before she develops any romantic interest.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
Women want to date guys that have been in prison, they don’t want to date guys that have family in prison.
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,562
Reaction score
3,118
Age
51
So I guess I did something stupid, though, she'd probably find out about it anyway. We were getting good, at least I thought. We were even planning on our first long week plus vacation in November. It was a cruise of some sort. She never Google'd me, but if she did, she'd find out about my siblings in prison. So, I thought it would be best to tell her. It wasn't anything violent that they did, only financial. I am not close with my family, so it didn't involve me. She came over the next day, and told me she Google me and my family. I said any questions? She said no. We still had sex a few times, but something was different. She wouldn't do oral and she seemed not interested or distant. Regardless, I just shrugged it off and continued on. She brought over DVDs for ER, which we both enjoy watching from time to time. We cooked dinner, went to sleep. Hadn't heard from her in a few days so I called, she didn't answer. She texted back, she's with a friend. I said I see. Then she said she didn't want to see me anymore. She likes me and enjoys my company, but I am looking for my one true love, my best friend (or something like that). I was in shock, but I just said okay, take care. The next day, it hit me so I texted her, I miss you. I do not know why I said this, I feel like a moron. She then immediately replied back that she missed me. She then changed her mind and just wanted a break. However, it didn't feel right to me, so I said that's not cool with me, so take care.

I am still shellshocked. I have no idea what happened. This is the same girl who introduced me to her parents on the second date. She's very close with her family. I cannot believe a girl would change her mind just because my siblings went to prison. It has nothing to do with me. I do not understand. I am so confused how a girl can introduce me to her whole family, say I was the one she was looking for, plan things and vacations and then just in a bat of an eye ghost like it was nothing.
I would put more faith her getting new attention than your family being the reason. Girls only want a "break" for one reason. They use it as a get out of jail free card for cheating. Thats it.

You arent your siblings. If she says she is looking for her one true love that is a **** sandwich. No matter how much sugar she sprinkles on it ,what she is saying is " you are not my one true love."

This is how you reply to this :
Her "I dont think we should see eachother anymore."
You " ok. Goodbye."
Her " i change my mind. I only want a break."
You "no breaks. Good bye."

It probably has nothing to do with your siblings. She can not hold you responsible for the actions of others. Either new attention has her attention or an old dog she used to run with and is still on her list of highscores came around again

Your question "I do not understand. I am so confused how a girl can introduce me to her whole family, say I was the one she was looking for, plan things and vacations and then just in a bat of an eye ghost like it was nothing."

Simple. She isnt loyal. She was pretending to be loyal.
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,562
Reaction score
3,118
Age
51
Not sure in this case but i had a girl flake a while back when she found out my parents had divorced. Or atleast at that piint thrre was a notable shift. Still blue back then so im sure it was other things too but i remember noticing the shift.
there's all types of flaky behavior out there. She was a tall one and i wanted that close. Close but no cigar on that crazy woman.

Its just better to bob and weave like a fighter.
It is true when the shift happens you do notice it. I had an ex, i noticed the shift in her behaviour and of course when you point it out or try to talk about it they lie and try to lead you to believe everything is fine. Well my ex did just that when the shift happened only for me to learn she was cheating.

From that moment on (after that ex) i learned to recognize the shift and when it happened i usually just terminated the relationship.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,664
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
She was already having doubts. She googled you in order to find a "rational" (to her) reason to leave. All she needed was the tiniest thing against you in order to make it "ok" in her mind to ghost. Your family issues sufficed and she ghosted.

Women ALWAYS leave emotionally well before they actually leave physically.
 

Tilex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2018
Messages
812
Reaction score
915
Age
43
Any chick that has to look up your facebook profile, google your entire DNA history, or needs to research members of your family as if they were some fvcking private detective isn't worth the hassle.
They're just looking for any reason to disqualify you.

Imagine if the roles were reversed and a guy did all this.
He would be labeled as a stalker or a creep.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
Any chick that has to look up your facebook profile, google your entire DNA history, or needs to research members of your family as if they were some fvcking private detective isn't worth the hassle.
They're just looking for any reason to disqualify you.

Imagine if the roles were reversed and a guy did all this.
He would be labeled as a stalker or a creep.
Yep! This girl would have soon been asking for all your passwords and access to your phone within a month.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,660
Reaction score
4,712
We were even planning on our first long week plus vacation in November. It was a cruise of some sort.
I'm gone away to let my broken hand heal, and then I come back and see all these dudes planning elaborate vacations with women they barely know. Reward her with that 5hit when she's stayed by your side for at least a year. Let her earn that kind of attention.

She likes me and enjoys my company, but I am looking for my one true love,
She's damaged goods. Some other dude was in her life before you and made his emotional imprint. She's going to be searching for his replacement for the rest of her life. Move on.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,179
Reaction score
7,415
Age
47
The parent thing is a big red flag that indicates serious compulsion issues. I've dated a couple girls like that. They come on hot, heavy, and fast, and they dump you the same way. You start out as the answer to all their problems, their savior, their key to happiness. But when reality sets in, and they realize you can't fix the void in their soul, they are off looking for the next guy they can project their fantasy onto - you are no longer of interest.

Also remember that women and men think differently. To her, this likely made perfect sense and felt like the right thing to do. I admit that it can be really frustrating to accept just how different people can think about certain things. I still struggle with it at times.
Very true!
 

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
43
She might not even be the one who Googled your jailbird siblings. Could've been her family and friends, and now they're just **** talking you to her. There's always gonna be a snake in the garden. If she's type of girl who keeps counsel with snakes...you know how the story goes. Instead of acting embarrassed, though, you should just play it off, like, "and they're just ones who got caught[wink]." As long as your fam aren't rapists, child molesters, or serial killers, you shouldn't act like you take it too seriously. If your family were all mafia, she'd probably be a little turned on, unless you acted too defensive or embarassed about it. What do you give a **** what anyone thinks about you, anyway? Embarrassment isn't sexy.
I am pretty sure it was from her family. They are very close and share everything. She even told me she, her sister and her mom are all on antidepressants or antianxiety meds. In addition, she told me she and her sister have never reached orgasm; but it's important to make their partner happy and feel furfilled sexually. She also said after that; mostly under her lips, that turns off most guys. I saw the red sign, but I didn't listen to myself. Lust over logic I guess.
 
Top