Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Are you a slave, or a Free Man?

Spaz

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Spaz has entered the chat.

Spaz, what aspect of the post awes you? Maybe I've missed it. 'breaker of chains' is a big claim. Potentially even suggesting that he is a disrupter (in the sense that he's said something novel). Which I agree with, in the sense that he's put it differently than I've seen before (creating your own reality) but the core of it has been stated many times before (fake it till you make it, be an individual). Is it the way he's articulated it or?
It's how he articulates what I already believe or practice.

A breaker of chains is someone who breaks life narratives or life stories and it can be hard on those whose chains are shaken to the core.

Because once those chains are shaken, it becomes brittle and to those who have woven that life narrative, its a potential death of an ego, which they naturally will cling on.

It's hard to build another life narrative which is why I can understand why some of you so desperately want to discredit a good thread.

But once this is read, the die is already cast, its too late, a man will now have doubts of his life narrative.
 

Atom Smasher

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i think that when you play it that safe, then ordinary things (such as asking a woman out, or even just talking to one) tend to be characterized in very silly ways.
LOL, I'm trying to decipher what you're trying to communicate, but I understand that I cannot, because a free man (former slave) and a slave come from two different realities. The former slave has lived on both sides of the fence. He has tasted slavery and lack of knowledge and has also tasted freedom. The slave has only been on one side and hasn't even a clue what is over the fence, and hence he is inclined to belittle and marginalize reports from the other side.

You, young friend, are not ready to even contemplate the possibilities of which I speak, and that's fine. If I were you, though, I would stop short of marginalizing these concepts, and instead wonder, "What if?"...

You and I are pretty much done as there is no middle ground for us upon which to communicate. however if ever you have a sincere, respectful question, I'll be glad to respond.
 

Atom Smasher

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That's because you have aged into women whose Sexual Market Value has been so debased that they don't reject anymore.
Actually, when I started getting it together I started dating gorgeous women in their early thirties. My fiance is close to my age but is unnaturally gorgeous, in fact almost impossibly well-preserved. Definitely all natural. Simply good genetics. She hit the lottery on that.
 

Atom Smasher

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You should post more Atom. Seriously.
Be careful what you wish for LOL. I'm usually quiet for a time and then unleash a flurry of babblings that some find interesting, then go back to my quiet ways. The cycle continues ad infinitum.
 

GrowingPains

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It's how he articulates what I already believe or practice.

A breaker of chains is someone who breaks life narratives or life stories and it can be hard on those whose chains are shaken to the core.

Because once those chains are shaken, it becomes brittle and to those who have woven that life narrative, its a potential death of an ego, which they naturally will cling on.

It's hard to build another life narrative which is why I can understand why some of you so desperately want to discredit a good thread.

But once this is read, the die is already cast, its too late, a man will now have doubts of his life narrative.
I see. I haven't discredited atom's post. I think the big picture is spot on and I hope those that don't understand it can read this and gleen that point from it. However I disagree with one aspect of something he said, somewhat unrelated to the big picture and there was disagreement so we'll wait to see what the justification is.
 

Atom Smasher

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It's how he articulates what I already believe or practice.

A breaker of chains is someone who breaks life narratives or life stories and it can be hard on those whose chains are shaken to the core.

Because once those chains are shaken, it becomes brittle and to those who have woven that life narrative, its a potential death of an ego, which they naturally will cling on.

It's hard to build another life narrative which is why I can understand why some of you so desperately want to discredit a good thread.

But once this is read, the die is already cast, its too late, a man will now have doubts of his life narrative.
I can only hope that your last sentence is true for one or two here. Even if just one goes over the edge and cannot scramble back, but instead gives himself over to new knowledge and possibilities, it is well-worth my effort and even worth the ridicule. But I understand the ridicule, as I speak of seemingly impossible, invisible things.

Twelve years ago I couldn't even conceive of a classy woman being attracted to me. The very thought was laughable. Now it is a regular occurrence, and very obvious in my day-to-day. This is only because I suspended my current "story" about myself, I erased my personal history, and decided to delve into a world that needed no empirical evidence of its existence.

I wanted to see if I could create a new world, even an entire new reality.

Turns out I could, and so can some of you. The secrets are within these pages, but one had best be prepared to get his hands dirty and calloused to find them.
 

Atom Smasher

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Do you think you are engaging here with an average guy, or a guy who has escaped the dreary landscape of average?

My hope for you is that in five years you read this and a light bulb starts to go off. Right now, safety is your friend. Tomorrow, I hope it will be adventure and freedom.
 

Spaz

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I see. I haven't discredited atom's post. I think the big picture is spot on and I hope those that don't understand it can read this and gleen that point from it. However I disagree with one aspect of something he said, somewhat unrelated to the big picture and there was disagreement so we'll wait to see what the justification is.
I take it that you have issues with what you consider the sexist part within his post.

The sad truth and the only truth, there's no such thing as a unisex brain.

Since women r wired differently, it stands to reason they act differently too, which even small little kids knows the difference, go ask any small 5 year old boy.

In their innocence, they'll tell you the truth without the prejudices of being a sexist or not.

After you're done that little experiment, take the opportunity to explore.
 

Spaz

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I can only hope that your last sentence is true for one or two here. Even if just one goes over the edge and cannot scramble back, but instead gives himself over to new knowledge and possibilities, it is well-worth my effort and even worth the ridicule. But I understand the ridicule, as I speak of seemingly impossible, invisible things.

Twelve years ago I couldn't even conceive of a classy woman being attracted to me. The very thought was laughable. Now it is a regular occurrence, and very obvious in my day-to-day. This is only because I suspended my current "story" about myself, I erased my personal history, and decided to delve into a world that needed no empirical evidence of its existence.

I wanted to see if I could create a new world, even an entire new reality.

Turns out I could, and so can some of you. The secrets are within these pages, but one had best be prepared to get his hands dirty and calloused to find them.
It will resonate, words or stories when woven which others cannot dismissed outright will take a life of it own.

It might not be apparent at 1st.
 

GrowingPains

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23:20-30:30 -

Whole ting -

I'll leave Jordan to say most of it, so that this thread can get back on topic. These videos support my earlier posts.

Trait neuroticism is heightened during puberty, did not know that.
 
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zekko

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This part is sexist. I doubt the women on the forum, and some (unjaded and with minimal ego) men would agree with it. I propose re-phrasing to most people are not willing to think for themselves.
I'm going to agree with your point here. I definitely think that women are capable of thinking for themselves. How I would rephrase it would be to say that:

Women, in general, tend to be more attuned to social groups than men are. They are more interested in social groups, and place more value in social groups, than men do. Therefore, they are more likely to conform to herd mentality, and place more value on the opinions of others. But I've known many talented and intelligent women who are most certainly capable of thinking for themselves, and even to lead.

As for the original post, I've recently started reading a bit on Transurfing. A poster here recommended it awhile back. Most likely it is just hokum, but something about it interested me and touched a chord. I'm just now finding some time to look into it. I don't know that much about it yet, but it has to do with choosing your own reality, which was a part of the original post.
 

GrowingPains

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I'm going to agree with your point here. I definitely think that women are capable of thinking for themselves. How I would rephrase it would be to say that:

Women, in general, tend to be more attuned to social groups than men are. They are more interested in social groups, and place more value in social groups, than men do. Therefore, they are more likely to conform to herd mentality, and place more value on the opinions of others. But I've known many talented and intelligent women who are most certainly capable of thinking for themselves, and even to lead.

As for the original post, I've recently started reading a bit on Transurfing. A poster here recommended it awhile back. Most likely it is just hokum, but something about it interested me and touched a chord. I'm just now finding some time to look into it. I don't know that much about it yet, but it has to do with choosing your own reality, which was a part of the original post.
In the videos I linked Jordan mentions that men are more 'things' oriented and women are more people oriented. So from that brief research, I'd say you're onto something. I was thinking similarly but didn't get around to writing it, I'm glad you did though - you put it well.
 

Fruitbat

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That really is an awesome quote. I imply serious difficulty in accomplishing it by using the analogy of taking the hammer and chisel to oneself. What is more painful than taking up the tools needed to literally break away unproductive or harmful parts of oneself? The pain is excruciating but worth it.

Good post on your part.
Those things must be chipped away to render oneself more extensively useful.

Cheers BRO
 

flowtheory

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I originally wrote this as a response to a current "social proof" thread, but decided to make it a thread in its own right.

Regarding social proof:

Women are pretty much incapable of thinking for themselves. Their cues and motivations come from outside of themselves, which means they get their moral and value codes from their "herd".

When they see that other women accept a man, then that man is also accepted by her, because the herd has already given him its stamp of approval.

But here's a hint that so SO few of you know and understand: You don't need to actually have social proof to gain social proof. You need to suspend reality in your own mind and act "as if". Believe with every fiber of your being that you are superior to women in your manly gifts which they lack, and you will start to gain tangible social proof.

Assume a virtue if you have it not. Tangible reality follows.

Look at Mohammad Ali's antics in the 60s and 70s. He was brash and brimming with confidence on the outside, yet he later admitted he was scared out of his mind for a lot of (if not most of) his fights. His reality became that he was esteemed by the world as the the undisputed champ, not because he was the best technically, for he wasn't the best at much of anything. He created that reality for himself by going all-in and by adapting his own unconventional style to both pre and post-fight verbal antics and his own physical, unconventional style in the ring. He was a moving target when young, impossible for his opponents to figure out and he spooked his opponents well before getting into the ring with them.

He created his own reality in spite of fear and self-doubt, and the world, by-and-large, bought into it. I'm not a fan of his in terms of his associations and some of his motivations, but he did know how to create social proof where there was none.

For myself, I was so clueless with women and so unable to understand and deal with them, and so completely unable to gain even a trace of social proof, that I gave up completely and decided to create my own world, a world inhabited by only myself. I decided to be the greatest thing on my planet of one.

If I could not have social proof in reality, I would have it on Planet Atom. I decided to be very nice and gentlemanly, but to judge women on their words and actions and visibly or audibly call them out on anything that displeased me. I had nothing to lose, for I lived alone on my new planet.

I became detached from outcome and the master of my own world. At first, my world was empty, by design. But soon, surprisingly, I started running into other men and women on my planet who regarded me as worthy of leading them. One by one they popped into existence and became visible to me, and I to them. One by one they expressed my value to them in their words and actions.

I had created a new reality of social proof by detaching and assuming value, along with taking the hammer and chisel to myself to carve out the best "me" that I could be. That "me" required no approval from anybody except God and myself. Lo and behold, to my surprise, I started garnering approval and respect wherever I went.

Most of you know that I speak a bit arrogantly at times, but I'm rarely called out as such because you KNOW, instinctively, that I'm speaking the truth. I'm so bought into my value that this has become my very essence. It is believed and bought into because I myself have bought into it.

I am known to be tough on women, yet most of them "like" my posts, even though I take them (as a gender) to task. This is because they know, by absolute instinct, that if they were with me, I would treat them kindly, as a gentleman, as a LEADER but a sacrificial leader who requires respect. In short, I would treat them with respect as women and would firmly guide them where they need guidance from a man. They instinctively know that as long as they treated me with respect and were submissive to my leadership, I would be taking care of them in the ways they crave to be taken care of. I would have their back at all times. They know this. They would experience what they crave... security and contentment.

Without even meeting my fiance, they already know her in large measure. They instinctively know how I treat her, and how she responds to me and how content and fulfilled we both are. This knowledge is for women only, and the only men who can understand are the ones who have figured this stuff out by going through what I have gone through; the ones whose arms are sore yet strong by the daily use of the hammer and chisel.

My advice to the one or two men who have an ear, is to:

1) Detach from all outcome regarding social proof and create a new Kingdom of one, where the King has social proof because he has determined to be the best "him" that he can be.

2) Work on yourself (the hammer and chisel) every day to become a man whom YOU YOURSELF can respect. Forget about others for now. Do this in tiny, manageable increments.

3) Treat others with respect and dignity but make situations difficult and embarrassing for people who are blatantly disrespectful around you. Demonstrate that you do not stand for outlandish behavior in your presence.

4) Be helpful and kindly toward others with no expectation of payback. Support and encourage.

5) Judge women consistently. Call them out on bad behavior and show visible disgust at bratty behavior. Your power is rejecting them publicly. Be neutral and detached with them normally, and show that you are evaluating them for inclusion in your kingdom. Reward them with fun attention when they behave well, and punish them by removing attention (turning your back both literally and figuratively) when they misbehave. Rejection and disgust is far more powerful than direct expression of anger. Know that most women need to learn the hard way that they need to behave n your presence.

6) Watch as worthy-ish women start popping into your reality. As time goes on, the "ish" will no longer be needed and worthy women will start to materialize in your world. Understand that you yourself need to make yourself worthy of worthy women by forging yourself over time into a worthy man.

7) Enjoy the new reality that you created. Send a generous donation to Atom Smasher's PayPal account for changing your world for the better.

In all seriousness though, you can create any reality you want if you ignore your current perceived "reality" and ignore your history and create a new reality with a clean slate. Your present reality and world-view and history are nothing more than shackles that enslave you, hence you spend years and even decades on this site with barely any change. You're trying to figure out women, and there is absolutely nothing to figure out. All your problems begin and end with you.

Resolve this day to never, ever seek approval from women. Women exist to seek your approval, if you become a great and worthy man. If you are seeking this, and picking up the hammer and chisel with your weak, girly arms to start the journey, you are already worthy. Your arms will soon become mighty.

Social proof begins and ends with you, and for most of us it starts with rejecting "reality" and being bold enough to create a new one in defiance of what you observe today. Believe in the man you will be tomorrow. Write down what you need to improve to become a great man, buy a timer and set it for 1 minute or 5 minutes and work on those things in tiny increments. The law of compounding interest will soon make itself known. I cannot stress enough that if you are setting your timer every day and making tiny improvements on a daily basis, you are already successful.

Never again seek approval from women. Seek approval from God first, and then yourself, in that order. You will eventually reap approval by many as a byproduct of having created a new life, a new reality for yourself.

Be content and glad to reject women and hold their feet to the fire. You will find that worthy, high class ones will admire this and will flock to you in time. Paradoxically, these are the ones who need only minor correction and guidance as you go along, and who are submissive and interested in serving you and making your life better. These are also the best looking ones, who do the best with what God gave them because they want to please YOU with their looks.

You made it this far? Good! There's hope for you. Somewhere in my ramblings you sense that I can actually back up what I'm talking about, that I have actually achieved that which I describe, and just maybe, you can do the same.

Your "story" and your history are shackles.

Just what are you going to be, moving forward? A slave, or a Free Man?
Great post!
 

Fruitbat

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In the videos I linked Jordan mentions that men are more 'things' oriented and women are more people oriented. So from that brief research, I'd say you're onto something. I was thinking similarly but didn't get around to writing it, I'm glad you did though - you put it well.
This is true. Go on to any man or woman’s Instagram you know.

Men will show landscapes, stuff etc.

Women’s is almost entirely themselves or other people.

Kind of a good system we have. Men take care of the material stuff, women look after the people and translate their needs to the man, who attempts to provide them.

Strange that this kind of concept almost is perceived as borderline fascist these days.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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I think freedom may be a bit over-rated these days.

Once it was juxtaposed to order, where an unmoderated freedom was seen as anarchy. The ideal was found in balancing individual freedom with social order.

Today freedom sits in binary opposition to power, and is understood as an absolute good. It is a kind of Manichean world that is split between good and evil... freedom being the absolute good, and [external] power being the absolute evil.

Of course, our notion of freedom is entirely abstract. It's always freedom from something, a negation, a theoretical preoccupation as opposed to a practical reality.
 
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Kotaix

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So, can either of you provide an example of women not being able to think for themselves? One exclusive to women, that cannot be explained by exercising human nature? Because what I am proposing is that women can think for themselves and that when you observe groupthink it is because that's what is easy for humans to do, not just women.

Claiming that something is sexist and disagreeing with another man's view of women is not feminist. Also, Atom, would you say that all women are feminists? Or even that all feminists want this lazy lifestyle you've suggested? If the answer is no, then it is not true that all women think the ideal lifestyle is a lazy one.
It's not that women don't think for themselves, they are much more prone to compassion and outrage because their default reaction to situations is emotional, which doesn't mean they can't be logical, they just don't go to logic first. And if their friends are around their natural reaction is to talk about how it made each one of them feel. There are countless comedians who used to joke about it. The groupthink mentality is the Matrix, most men are a part of it.

A fringe minority of women are actual feminists. Many women might consider themselves feminist, and they're all about girl power and how fun it is until you present them the actual tenets of radical feminism, but that's what I'm talking about right there. You don't get men thinking about being in a boy power club all together having fun. Cuz that's gay af.

You should read The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar. In that book she absolutely TRASHES women as stupid and useless, to the point she even trashes motherhood as a way women use to enslave men. What she says is SO bad that I actually reacted to that book the way you're reacting to this thread. She gets death threats to this day because of what she wrote, which tells me that she struck way too close to the nerve for comfort.
 

ubercat

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Most of my posts here are helping out the younglings or calling out the fake Gurus. But atom smasher is a serious guy so I think the door price should be a considered and measured reply. First a bit of scene setting

In 2015 I joined the site after the break up of a ltr. Nothing particularly bad had happened. I wasn't just scarred and I hadn't lost assets.

And I d had plenty of experience with women.

what I did have was a nagging feeling that a lot of my breakups had one sad commonality and the root cause was a failure of leadership.
 

Atom Smasher

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Women by and large do not think for themselves. They live, eat and breathe herd mentality. Their locus of control is external, while men's is internal.

Women survive by herd acceptance. For most, thinking and acting against the herd triggers fear of ostracization and hence, death (speaking here of the primitive mind).

Women tend to receive virtually all their social cues and ideas about morality and right and wrong from their herd. The herd is safety and survival. The herd is the parent.

This is precisely why women have been brainwashed by the media. We men know that women are extremely easy to manipulate. Appeal to their emotions (their primary method of interpreting the world around them) and you have them in the palm of your hand. Every advertiser knows this. This biological factor is what "game" thrives on.

Because of your feminized upbringing, a lot of you guys think that the identification of female nature is a moral issue. Nonsense. You start to throw around the tell-tale phrase "sexist". You are feminine in your thinking. This is the very source of the problem that we face today, of the genders morphing into each other. Men becoming soft and feminine, and women becoming aggressive and masculine. I see this softening in many posts. I repeat, when a man uses the term "sexist" in his arguments, this is an immediate tell that his thinking leans toward the feminine.

Women perceive the world radically differently than men. They feel their way through life, they cling to herd-think, and this is literally a matter of survival to them. The fact that I have to explain this to some of you is astounding in the year 2019. It feels similar to explaining that women have breasts and vags, etc.

Intellectualization of these facts of life tend to keep one stuck in that awful, ineffective middle-ground of not being capable of understanding women's behavior and the careful tip-toeing through life that makes one hugely unattractive to women.

There is nothing to understand about women. There is no mystery whatsoever.

When I hear a man use the word, "sexist", this speaks volumes about his way of perceiving his world, and the degree of hold that his feminized education has over him without his even being fully aware of it. These are the guys who usually say, "Oh, so you think women are evil". What a simplistic thought process. Women are women. Men are men. Neither has traits that are inherently evil. Rather, their worst traits are corrupted because of the meltdown of society at-large.

We men face a horrifically biased world precisely as a result of this habit of thinking. They stay on forums like this for decades, ever navel-gazing and never living and breaking free of their shackles.

Make no mistake, men have allowed the mess we face today because men have lost the backbone needed to keep women, who desperately need guidance and parameters to live by (as defined by men), to run amok. Women innately crave a man who breaks out of that and who will put them in their place. Even ones who disagree and argue will always walk away from a conversation with such a man with respect for him.

My days of shame are over. My days of lack of respect and lack of female interest are over. My days of living in shame and not understanding women are all in the past. I understand them fully because there is nothing to understand.

Women desperately need a leader, a man who will take over from her "father" (aka the herd) and guide her to a higher elevation of life. They know this deep inside, and this is why most men can't understand why they cannot attract a decent woman. They live in that awful middle-ground of not knowing how to behave with women, and being afraid to offend them or appear "sexist".

Women are practically begging men to lead them. Women desire to surrender. It's just that they are repulsed by the thought of surrendering to a middle-ground man who lives in shame. This is why they flock to a guy like, I don't know, let's take Atom Smasher, for example. ;)

To repeat something I've often said: A few years ago I was positively clueless. I genuinely thought there was a "cosmic rule" that said that Atom Smasher cannot and will never be attractive to quality women. This cosmic rule was written in stone for me.

Since I had nothing to lose, I decided to see if I could create a new reality by completely breaking fee of social conventions and the great fear that most men have of offending women. I decided to offend to my heart's content, just to see what would happen.

What happened was that women did a complete 180 and started to notice and indicate attraction. Now most of you guys are picturing a guy being an insufferable AH, and yet the reality is that women feel comfortable around me, because I give them FREEDOM to abandon their masculine artifice and to be the women they desperately want to be. They want to be led, and they innately sense in my presence that here is a leader, and man who is unashamed yet friendly, fun, but most definitely a bit dangerous. What more could a woman want? Nothing more. They want and need to be lead, but can only be led by a man they look up to.

Edit: Here I am writing about leadership, and I see that @ubercat has been writing about the same thing simultaneously. @Spaz gets it, as does ubercat. Both are men of knowledge.

Yes, I'm "preachy", I get that. Men can tend to resist preachiness. But consider that there could be some useful knowledge to be mined here for the industrious who can look beyond the perceived faults of the messenger. Can a man write the way I do without knowing something of which he speaks? I'll leave each one to answer that for himself.

Why don't you guys abandon your safe little worlds where you pour over posts about how to act in ways where women will "accept" you, and will not make you appear "sexist", and instead create and TAKE what is rightfully yours? When will you declare yourself King over your world and start running it as a leader who deserves respect?

Why do you not give yourself permission to do so? It is because there is a feminine voice inside your head that says, "Don't you dare. Your world will implode and you will disintegrate if you try". This is the female voice of shame that has been drummed into you since birth.

The fearful cartographers of old wrote at their borders, "Outside there be dragons". I ride them every day, and it is exhilarating and fun.
 

Spaz

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Well said Atom.

I trust you don't mind me using ur thread as a vehicle to get across something that's related in some small way.

Leadership = power.

Power = the ability to influence or within ur sphere of influence.

Once you have influence, game that's being popularly promoted in Sosuave forums cease to exist.

At that stage, it's you making the rules, it's you defining the world around you and not the game.

The game that's being promoted here is actually very feminine, a play that's supplicating to meet women's ever changing whim and fancies.

Supplicating = submissiveness

When you keep on changing, improving and getting better just to impress women it actually put you in a submissiveness frame, a very feminine like frame.

Remember that the natural feminine frame is always one of impressing men to take notice of women, femininity is the seducer.

To sum it all up, power is the ultimate prize that attracts women.

Again, power is just about increasing ur sphere of influence.
 
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