Your Smoothest Move

[Deadpan]

When you live in a barracks, you get accustomed to 'barracks rats/*****s", chicks from town who come on base to screw the Marines. One time this hot, typical slutty looking 18 year old shows up with her entourage. Naturally, the horny jarheads are out in full force, offering them drinks and doing the whole "you're so hot" spiel. I'm out there with a buddy just observing everything, and the girl in question sees us, and walks up. My buddy makes some smalltalk, but I start to pry. This girl, Courtney, is receptive to my banter, and while an idiot, plays along to the best of her abilities. She starts talking about what kind of sex she has, how she's done it with a chick, how she masturbates if a guy can't get her off, etc, etc, just living up to the stereotype. Once she shuts up for a second, I look at her, and say with no expression, "You know, if I were to take you into my room and fack the crap out of you, I could say 'My balls in your Court.' " Like her name. Stupid I know, but she ate it up, and proceeded to make my statement a truth.

 

[hardwork]

Archive.

 

[rhsarrow17]

When introducing myself to a girl, I extend my hand and say, "I'm Mike." She'll take it and tell me her name. Notice how most girls are nervous when approached by new guys, especially beautiful ones such as myself. Most handshakes girls give me are with a limp wrist and weak grip. Here's where the fun comes in:

Me: Hmm....you can tell a lot about someone by her handshake.

Her (inevitably): what can you tell about me?

Me: You're weak and nervous. (put on exaggerated james bond ultra-cool expression) Do I...(pause)...make you weak...(pause)...and nervous?

If all goes well and she's receptive, she'll crack up at this point. Better yet, she'll crack up and say, "no," to which you can reply "suuuuuuuuure. so tell me about yourself."

That...is ONE of my smoothest 'moves'

 

[rhsarrow17]

Originally posted by Ninja Dude
the priest showed up and caught us red-handed!

LMAO!!

 

[rhsarrow17]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
everyone lived happily ever after, except the Incas because they're dead.

lmao.

random and hilarious. i hereby dub thee "cool."

 

[tom121]

there are a lot of interesting stuff in here, especially the banana one

i don't have any one myself but I would love to see more

 

[Canadiandon]

Amazing stories guys I have a couple of my own, but I can only post one right now I have to run soon.

It was in Tokyo Shibuya night club area and I see this tall really hot mixed Japanese girl about an 8 (turns our she was half Ausie) small tits great body and ass hanging out with her Gaijin (foreigner) boyfriend I look at her from a distance and she smiles at me I signal for her to come over but she smiles and says no while pointing at the guy that’s she with, while he was busy talking on his phone not paying attention. So when the guy that was with her gives her a kiss and slips into the convenience store I walk up to her while she is staring at me smiling and telling me with her hands to go back and nodding her head. I get up to her and grab her hand she takes a quick look into the convenience store to see if her boyfriend is looking and she runs off with me laughing. We run to a close by love hotel have hard n crazy quickie sex for an hour. We get back on the street and split up.

Later on that night while I was leaving a club with another J-chick I see her holding hands with her boyfriend. She turns her head while her boyfriend wasn't looking and gives me a wink. I guess he found her hehe.

 

[Canadiandon]

1) Ok I'm back. Well another time was with a Guyanese girl an 7.5 cute face, big tits, nice round ass but not great and slim body. We worked together at a seasonal job years ago and she actually asked me out for coffee the second day I worked there, pissing off the guy that had a huge crush on her hehe. A week later we were making out on a park bench and she actually said "do you think we should get a hotel?" I said Yeah we should. So we go across the street and get a room. We strip down and start fooling around I put a condom on and she tells me "No sex I'm still a virgin, I don't know if I want to do it" So since she is naked I say nothing and go down on her licking her kitty driving her crazy. She is yelling in delight and says "do me!" and I go up to kiss her and at that same moment I slip it inside her making her yelp first but then groan in pleasure oooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeeeahh.

After we had sex says "wow I didn't think you would make it feel so good"


2) Another moment is kind of a guilty pleasure hehe. I remember I had to cover a story for the University newspaper. I had to get inside the crowed of teenage school girls going crazy for a certain music star at a certain music station in Toronto. So I go there early to get the story, there are a few guys there so I don't feel to much out of place. But then a huge crowed gather around me and I'm being crushed by tight teenage girl bodies jumping up and down with their young tight asses rubbing against my crotch not caring because they were going crazy for their music idol. I felt bad at first but I thought in my head "when is the next time I will be surrounded by so many beautiful teenagers with their asses rubbing into my crotch?" NEVER! so I stayed lol. rubadubdub.

 

[oda]

met a girl from class who was still getting over her ex, invited her to study on a sunday before a test. we studied for about 20 minutes and I was hitting her up with C+F about her ex and about how shes a closet sex freak.

she gets really mad at me so i just kiss her on the lips and she gives no reaction at all. so i say "was i not supposed to do that"
she then tells me how its not fair to me that she still likes her ex blah blah so I reply with "are you talking about your ex who left you and doesn't like you at all"

this is when she got all huffy and puffy but within minutes she was intensely grinding my hips to the point it hurt.

 

[So Many Ways]

Wow, I can't believe how you guys can remember specific details and conversations in your interactions.

I don't know what my smoothest move is, well here's one. It's smooth and not so smooth.

This happened right when I discovered double your dating and the whole C&F thing. Me and my roommate went to a little house party being thrown by a mutual ug female friend and there was this petite latin cutie with glasses there. I was introduced to her but did not talk to her anymore while I was there. We left and me and my buddy made arrangements with HBglasses and our ug friend to meet up at out house in a couple of hours and hit the clubs.

Before they arrived I hastily cleaned up the crib and downed a few beers to get in the mood. My ug friend and HBglasses walk up in my house without knocking or ringing the doorbell since the door was open and the screen was unlocked. I saw that and I immediately sprung into action, busting them both about walking up in here without knocking.

HBGlasses complimented my pimped out attire as I was dressed to the nines. She even touched my shoes and I chastised her for touching the shoes. This got her going even more. Then she had the nerve to pick up my wallet and look through it, then I had to check her on that. I also joked about us getting married and said a bunch of other off the wall stuff.

We all pile into the vehicle and we take off to the club. This is when things got really weird. Understand I'm new to all of this and I did not expect what was going to happen. Anyway HBGlasses is sitting in the back seat and I'm sitting in the front. She starts playing with herself back there, I'm not fukking kidding, I'm dead serious. She is then squirming around back there and she grabs my hand and massages my hand on her trim kitty kat. This whole time I'm like WTF and i'm just going along with the whole thing, shocked at the whole display.

My roommate was aware of what was happening so he said fukk it and turned the car back around to go home. He's a natural and he knew I'd be able to hit it. We stop at a 7/11 and I buy some more beer and condoms. We go back to my house and me and HBGlasses start making out a little bit. We're all chilling in the bathroom, myself, my roommate, the ug and HBGlasses. The ug and my roommate leave the room leaving me alone with HBGlasses.

Then the unthinkable happens and I start questioning the whole thing. She then starts telling me she had feelings for me while I'm getting on top and I get a quesy feeling in my stomach when she said that. I was just turned off and it goes limp at that point. She asked me if I really liked her and I just froze, my face goes blank and I'm thinking oh no, wtf do I do. Honestly I didn't really want it anymore and I didn't respond. She quickly exits the premises and heads to her car. No pu$$y.

A week later, she gave me roommate a blow job so I'm kind of glad I didn't hit it but still...

 

[ego]

A number-close summer 2004.

I were heading home from a weekend vacation this summer, on a ferry. Walking around smiling at all the chicks, looking for some hottie.

I spotted two HB6's, probably 2-3 years younger than me. Didn't really care about them, just made eye contact and smiled when walking by. The both of them turned around when i met them a second time - but since i didn't care I never said hi or started a conversation. I did anyhow continue the eye contact / smiling the whole trip. Just to tease them.

10 minutes to arrival i could see the girls standing 10m away from me at a table, giggles, noding with their heads against me while smiling.

The both then leaves the table, walks up to me. One of them hands me a note , takes my hand, and looks into my eyes while smiling. Her friend starts to walk away, and she follows. The note contained her phone number and name.

I didn't have any interest in the girl, so I never called.

But... number close by just eye contact and smile. Not that bad to me.

 

[ego]

Another good time - the 25th of december.

I walked up to a 4-5 year older HB7 and told her that she could buy me a drink since she sneaked into the club without paying the entrance fee (Built rapport outside in the line.). She laughed and said "Why you?" with a smile.

****y and funny I told her that I'd expose her if she didn't. And, well, yeah, then she did. We went to the dance floor, and after a while i kiss-closed her.

Around 3 AM we went back to took a cab back to her place. The following morning before i were leaving i told her she'd give me her number. She refused to. Which really didn't bother me at all

ME: "Hah, damn,, you've been using me, baby!!!"
SHE: "Yeah boy, that's right... haha."
ME: "Sweeeeeeeeeeeet...."

Then I kissed her and said goodbye.

So, one #-close without a word, and another f-close without a phone number. Goes around, comes around.

 

[So Many Ways]

Here's another one. This one happened March of last year, maybe April.

Me and my roommate were barhopping on a Friday night when we stopped by this bar that was completely dead. My roommate starts talking to this chick for a couple of minutes, then he introduced me to the chick he was talking too, then walked off to find another chick presume.

Anyway, I start talking to this girl. She's tall, around 6'1" and with her shoes on, we were at eye level. We're sitting on the stool, just chatting, shooting the sh!t and I'm not even really thinking of hitting on her or picking her up. My body language was facing more away from her than towards her at this point. She asked me to buy her a drink, I turn her down flatly and keep chatting. A few minutes later I suggest getting shots of petron silver.

We take the shot and she squirts the lime on my hand and licks it off, which I interpret as a buy signal. This is when I went to work.

I intensified my eye contact and I noticed how her body was starting to face towards mine and our knees were touching. I also noticed how her body language was opening up completely towards me. I was facing towards her at this point.

Now I figured I had the perfect opportunity to test something I heard on one of the interviews in the advanced dating series. I touched her hand and slowly rubbed my hand on her fingertips, moving slowly to the rest of her hand to her arms, then to her shoulders to the back of her neck. I was barely touching her, just letting my hand glide on her skin.

I then gently caressed her hair and turned her head towards mine, leading her head by her chin, then towards me. I then kissed her and we kissed for a little while, then I broke it off. Her eyes were in the back of head at this point.

She wanted to dance, so we danced for a couple of songs. I then told her to buy me a drink which she did, then I got her phone number and that was it.

 

[Yuriy777]

Pool is the way to go

Two of my smoothest moves

1) Playing pool (already a great 2nd date once you've built some rapport)...
She was lining up her shot sticking her ass out because she doesn't have the proper stance (lol). I’m sitting on a stool checking her out the entire time (maybe a slight sexual comment here and there). She comes back from taking her shot and I lightly grab her by a belt loop (make sure she is wearing pants or you might pull something off in the pool hall), and gently pull her in between my legs. Wrap my hands around her and go to whisper in her ear (she’s facing forwards) and as I whisper in her ear “are you trying to tease me with that body?” I give her a light kiss on her collar bone.
Then I stand up and go to line up my shot, while lining it up I look back give her a little wink, and then I shoot.

2) Also while shooting pool.
While she’s lining up her shot I try to help her with her bridge and stroke.
(Only have met one girl that actually knows how to play pool somewhat well)
I walk up behind her, grab the end of the pool cue so she can’t shoot yet,
Put my body right against hers as if I’m taking the shoot and throw a few tips her way.
Then I slowly run her through her warm-up strokes.
(Come on guys this is like taking candy from a baby)
Maybe whisper something “suggestive” in her ear.
(If you do this replace the next step if she misses with a “oh thinking about that more than the shot huh” followed by “wanna get out of here soon?”)
If she makes the shot then she gets a good confidence boost, and if she misses than I just say that’s alright it happens maybe give her a hug or a light kiss.

 

[Kevon]

Originally posted by Crotch Sniffer
Desperate whiners??? Speak for yourself Ninja Fool!

I may be desperate but I never whine!

Besides, my story is much better than yours. This was a long time ago in my AFC days. I was always the typical Nice Guy and was just fed up. A good friend of mine who is a natural with the ladies gave me some advice. He said "CS, you are way too nice my man. I mean you have pvssy written all over your face and trust me, thats not good! Do yourself a favor, be an assh*le for a day. Just one day say something really rude to a HB and get it out of your system. I know it sounds crazy but just try it!" His words were still ringin in my ears when I went shopping at the grocery store later on. I was contemplating this bizarre advice when I saw a hot-ass blonde make her way down the aisle (about a 7 face but 9 body with legs from here to yaya!) Anyways I scoped her out in the produce section and figured the opportunity was ripe (haha you like my clever writing skills! ) Anyway I walk up to her with two bananas. One small and one large. I say excuse me miss, but which one do you prefer as I hold each one over my dyck. She slaps me dead in the face so hard, I had a hand mark for hours afterwards! Okay so it wasn't really a success per se, but I have to say, my friend was right. From that day forward I had more balls than ever!

Oh my god I know it's old but I just read it and I AM LOVING IT

lmao

 

[Kerensky]

Wow you guys are like smooth machines. Here is mine:

This girl had been punching me a lot and kinda lightly shoving me. I'd been doing the same whenever we bust on each other and stuff. Anyways, one day she just jabbed me and we were alone so I just took her hand in mine and said, "You can feel me much longer like this." Then I put her hand on my chest and that turned into a short make out session somehow. That's the only smooth move I have.

 

[hikago125]

this was pretty smooth for me....to bad i dont remember the details, but most of it was body language ques anyways. I was at a party and was just chillin, being ****y and funny to everyone. there was this hb7.5 and her two freinds who were much hotter than she was 8.5's about. at this one point during the party the hb7.5 gave me this very strange look and then called her freinds over to the bathroom. i followed them, but then went into the co-ed bathroom...needless to say they followed me all three of em

 

[hikago125]

ooohh...i love this one!!! its another thing i do without words, and if i've gotten them interested gets some good laughs. When im talking to them and the conversation starts getting boring or they get hyper and talk really fast i just point at their face, and then point to my ****. lol, this should be done with a completely straight face. ITs completely hilarious to see their reactions.

 

[Spacebar]

I dunno how great this is, buts its good for me...


I was sitting in traffic on a highway and the Jetta next to me had these two girls... they were pretty hot

so anyway I made eye contact and smiled at the one in the passenger seat, she smiled back, i rolled down my window, she rolled hers down...

Me: "So where are you suppose to be now?"

we talked for a lil

then traffic started to move so I got her # and dated her

so whats so great about this?

That side of my car has a bullet hole and chipping paint....

 

[Mercenary]

I'm at the club and I start talking to this guy I hadn't seen since high school. We start talking about women, when one girl passes the bar on her way to the bathroom.

Me: "yeah man, pimping is easy man" (or something to that effect)

Him: "oh yeah?" (not really listening to me)

Me: "See that girl on her way to the bathroom? On the way out I'm gonna pick her up and take her home."

Him: "Dude, I know her boyfriend... He's a cool guy"

She comes out the bathroom 5 minutes later I go up to her, introduce myself, and ask her what she's doing after the club closes. I tell her to meet up with me at the door later on and I give her a nice kiss on the cheek.

An hour or two later I see her and her friends waiting at the exit... I catch a ride with her, she drops her friends off at various places, and then takes me to her place.