Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

You gotta laugh -

jophil28

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I am sitting on the couch with middle-aged HB watching Grey's Anatomy (there is a compulsory hour's silence in her lounge room every week during every episode )
I am thinking mackeral fishing next summer and she is locked in a trance with the storyline on TV.
A welcome commercial break sends me to the bathroom .
As I sit down again MAHB says, " Do you like her body, be honest. '" She points at some thirty year old on the tube.
I sort of mumble something like ," Oh, she is not too ugly."
MAHB turns to me and says , " Do you really like MY body?"
And then she adds , "Remember , I am a women, I do not care about honesty."

Priceless . Ya gotta love 'em.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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jophil28 said:
... " Do you really like MY body?"
....
Priceless . Ya gotta love 'em.
Something to realize about women, whenever they ask about another women, they are trying to get reassurance about where they stand. Best (and safest) answer is not to respond about the other woman, just reassure yours. "Honey, I think your body is great..."
 

STR8UP

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I get that sh!t all the time.

Anytime I get a stupid ass "what do you think about my ass/hair/boobs/personality/whatever" kind of question from a female I flat out refuse to answer.

Last time was a few days ago when one of my friends called me up for help on writing a dating profile for herself (I assume, she wouldn't elaborate). She asked me what guys want to hear when they hear a description of a woman, then she asks me how I would describe her.

I suppose I could or maybe even should have thrown back a ****y/funny response, but I really get irritated when a chick puts me on the spot like that. Especially if she isn't my girlfriend.

Another friend (who is a single mommy) asked me awhile back if I thought she had a lot of baggage. I just don't appreciate being asked that sort of thing. I mean, I don't walk up to them and say, "Do you think my nose is too big?" or "Do you think I'm a good catch for a woman?"

Women and their need for validation.......sheesh
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Any time a woman asks you for your "honest" opinion about being attracted to another woman (on T.V. or otherwise) always answer in the affirmative, even if you really aren't. This is probably the single most common of sh!t tests a woman will give, and as counterintuitive as it seems this is a golden opportunity to display confidence behavior. Most chumps will offer up some version of the "oh, she's OK, but,.." response and fail the test, but when you say "oh, hell yeah she's hot", it sends that covert message that you're confident enough in yourself to deal with the fallout of her blatant test and/or to weather any comeback she'd have by comparing you to other guys. She knows the answer before she asks the question, but remember it's a test; she's not asking you for an analytical assessment (which is a guy's default by nature).

The other response that can work equally well is being direct and calling her bluff. Ask her, "now why are you asking me that? if I say yes I like her body, you'll think I'm into her and not you, if I make up some lame reasoning as to why she's 'not all that' you'll think I'm full of sh!t and lose respect for me for patronizing you. So stop it with your insecurity, if I wasn't into you I wouldn't be spending time with you." And BTW, the same is true when a woman asks if her ass looks fat or any other assessment of her appearance. Always answer in the affirmative. Any sex you miss out on as a result will never be worth the cost of your respectability for her.

Also, what're you doing with a woman who'd need to ask this? After 11 years of marriage, my wife has always been a knockout HB9. We both take care of ourselves in the gym and are comfortable with our bodies and the physical. In that time my wife has never asked me if I found so-and-so attractive. She doesn't need to ask; she knows she looks good and she knows I look good and we both maturely understand that people can be attractive. I'll flip through a copy of Reps magazine at bedtime and she'll watch over my shoulder as I read and we both comment on the women and men, and what we like or don't about a physique we see, male or female. We're secure in our own skins.

If a woman has to ask you if she looks fat, the answer is always yes. If she weren't it wouldn't occur to her to ask.
 

KarmaSutra

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Best (and safest) answer is not to respond about the other woman, just reassure yours. "Honey, I think your body is great..."
'Cisco, who gives a flying fvck about political correctness when you're talking to a woman? This is crap and you know it.

I've had many, many women ask me that and myriad of other related questions and it all boils down to them craving affirmation of thier vanity.

Karmic Law #3 - Do not ask a question unless you truly want the answer.

You give a chick a bullsh!t answer like the one you gave and they've confirmed that you're the one full of sh!t. Fvck that.

I was at starbucks with a chick once and the convo went like this:

Karma - Smoking my cigar. Enjoying the atmosphere not the chick.

Biotch - " How can you smoke those big cigars?"

K - "With cigars, I have the philosophy bigger is better."

B - "That's how I feel about penises. I can't do a small one."


I have to interject here. She was cute but was a tad shy in the bustline.

K - " I absolutely agree big tits are crucial."

B- sits there with her mouth agape while I draw some sublime smoke from my cigar.


All of these bologna filled tests women spew are just ways to see if you're man enough to step to them.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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KarmaSutra said:
'Cisco, who gives a flying fvck about political correctness when you're talking to a woman? This is crap and you know it.

I've had many, many women ask me that and myriad of other related questions and it all boils down to them craving affirmation of thier vanity.

Karmic Law #3 - Do not ask a question unless you truly want the answer.

You give a chick a bullsh!t answer like the one you gave and they've confirmed that you're the one full of sh!t. Fvck that.

I was at starbucks with a chick once and the convo went like this:

Karma - Smoking my cigar. Enjoying the atmosphere not the chick.

Biotch - " How can you smoke those big cigars?"

K - "With cigars, I have the philosophy bigger is better."

B - "That's how I feel about penises. I can't do a small one."

I have to interject here. She was cute but was a tad shy in the bustline.

K - " I absolutely agree big tits are crucial."

B- sits there with her mouth agape while I draw some sublime smoke from my cigar.

All of these bologna filled tests women spew are just ways to see if you're man enough to step to them.
  1. No one said anything about political correctness, it's about managing the situation. How would saying something that would make her go emotional on you help?
  2. We are not talking about some random chick in Starbucks who wants a guy jump through a hoop in order to feed her vanity.
  3. We are talking about a woman who's feeling unsure about herself who has some type of regular involvement with a guy. She's probably feeling that rush because the guy has been over playing aloof and mysterious card too often.
Guys let their egos get into the way by following pick-up rules while in some type of relationship. They treat their women as some type of attachment that they screw on bed in order to get dinner and that's it.

If you want a woman to stick around, you have to sustain their needs a lot like a dope dealer. You give her enough to get hooked and enough to keep her coming back without giving her so much that she'll overdose and you lose her.
 

azanon

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I fall with RT on this one. Wise words, and I can't really improve on them.

Also, my experience with my wife on this issue is much as RT described. When we watch TV together, I often remark at women I find hot, and I don't do so with the intention of making her jealous, nor does it make her jealous. If she replies, she will say (for example) "Yeah you're right, she really is a knockout". Another time, we were talking about what it must be like to work with actors/actresess such as Angelina Jolie (or Brad Pitt, in her case, for example). I would tell her if i worked with her, i'm not going to lie; I would REALLY enjoy a love scene with her. She says "I'm sure you would; just as much as i'd enjoy a love scene with Brad Pitt". We agree. No argument. Facts are facts ;-)

Same holds true in real life. If i see a real hottie when we're out walking together, I can acknowledge it, and its cool. Sometimes she beats me to the punch and will say something like, "you really thought she was hot, didn't you". I reply "yeah" (smiling).
 

KarmaSutra

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
  1. No one said anything about political correctness, it's about managing the situation. How would saying something that would make her go emotional on you help?


  1. Um, yes you did. By feeding her full of trite and bullsh!t "PC" responses to soothe her you're being just as phony as she is for asking that fvcking quetion in the first goddamned place.

    [*]We are not talking about some random chick in Starbucks who wants a guy jump through a hoop in order to feed her vanity.
    Random chicks, chicks you're in a relationship with, blah blah blah. They all need to be treated exactly the same way.

    [*]We are talking about a woman who's feeling unsure about herself who has some type of regular involvement with a guy. She's probably feeling that rush because the guy has been over playing aloof and mysterious card too often.
Guys let their egos get into the way by following pick-up rules while in some type of relationship. They treat their women as some type of attachment that they screw on bed in order to get dinner and that's it.
If she is unsure of herself that is a character flaw on her part. Captain save-a-ho cannot and should not be there to rescue her. If you feed the animals attention with a side order of pandering they're going to eat for sure, but you won't enjoy the meal with them.

If you want a woman to stick around, you have to sustain their needs a lot like a dope dealer. You give her enough to get hooked and enough to keep her coming back without giving her so much that she'll overdose and you lose her.
If you don't have the skill to keep her interested in you, other than feeding her ego with assorted trays of attention, she has no business being with you and will assuredly be giving the guy who will school her properly her ass, balls deep.
 

Boschy

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The woman you're with is always the most beautiful woman in the world.

The woman you're with is always the most beautiful woman in the world.

The woman you're with is always the most beautiful woman in the world.

The woman you're with is always the most beautiful woman in the world.

The woman you're with is always the most beautiful woman in the world.

The woman you're with is always the most beautiful woman in the world.

The woman you're with is always the most beautiful woman in the world.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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KarmaSutra said:
...Random chicks, chicks you're in a relationship with, blah blah blah. They all need to be treated exactly the same way..
Why?
 

blueguy

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Actually, Francisco/Boschy and STR8UP/Rollo/Karma/Azanon are all right. But it depends on the girl.

Low self-esteem girls or girls who are extremely unsure of their place in the relationship? (Woman has weak hand) -> Francisco/Boschy

You are feeding her hope that the relationship can last (she already knows you satisfy her).

High self-esteem girls or girls who know they have options? (Power is roughly equal, or man has weak hand) -> STR8UP/Rollo/Karma/Azanon

You are feeding her hope that her man is confident/can satisfy her.

I've been in both positions. And it really does depend on which type of girl you're dealing with.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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I should also add that this test is also a good gauge of your own attitude in your relationship. A good determinant of your interest, confidence and self-respects is how quickly you respond with some kind of patronization for your partner when this test presents itself. BOSCHY's, "You're the most beautiful girl in the world" line is the standard AFC, I'll-lose-her-if-I-say-anything-else, scarcity mentality that women see right through. As I said, they already know the answer before they ask the question, and your trying to reassure them of your attraction and interest only aggrivates this insecurity - it's the "what else is he gonna say" element that just confirms for her that you're pandering to her. When a woman asks "do you think she's hot?" or "do I look fat?" the covert chick-speak translation is "I know I can't physically compare to select, other women, but I want to know if you're really confident enough in yourself to hold me up to a standard, rather than prove you're just an optionless tool and you're so afraid of losing your only source of sex you'll tell me what I want to hear."

Like I said, this is a golden opportunity to display confidence behavior. Once you adopt the "you're so beautiful" patronization, she confirms that she is your only option and the frame of the relationship is firmly in her control.
 

speed dawg

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blueguy said:
Low self-esteem girls or girls who are extremely unsure of their place in the relationship? (Woman has weak hand) -> Francisco/Boschy.........
High self-esteem girls or girls who know they have options? (Power is roughly equal, or man has weak hand) -> STR8UP/Rollo/Karma/Azanon
Actually it's the exact opposite. Read this: ALL WOMEN KNOW THEY HAVE OPTIONS. In a healthy relationship with a confident woman, a little of both is needed. Like another poster said, give her enough to get her hooked but not enough to overdose.

With a low self esteem girl, you have to be MORE of a DJ and pretty much treat them like sh1t to keep their IL. You've got a lot to learn, pal.
 

Vulpine

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See, I've also found that women ask "do you think she's hot" about women that THEY think are hot. So, I started answering that question better:

HB: "Do you think that girl is sexy?"
V: "Yeah. Do you want to hook up a three-way?"

Or...

HB: "Do you think that girl is sexy?"
V: "Mmm-Hmmm! Go pick her up and we'll bring her home with us!"


:rockon:

The covert given is "us" or "we". The overt is "sexy", so "sex", is the overt reply.

Now, if the overt is something like "cute", I use...

HB: "Do you think that girl is cute?"
V: "She is cute in a 'I'm making your girlfriend jealous when I stare at you' kind of way."

Or, something making fun of her insecurity. The common theme is answering HONESTLY. If the chick has a wart on her nose, point it out. If the chick has a muffin-top, point it out. Yes, here's why, No, here's why. My default is typically "yes" because I think chicks are hot. And dammit if women just don't happen to point out the smoking hot ones for you to stare at. Which reminds me, there are two more answers.

HB: "Do you think that girl is hot?"
V: *looks, jaw drops, eyes bug out, tongue drops out of mouth, drools, doesn't reply*

HB: "Do you think that girl is sexy?"
V: "Oooh! I didn't even see her! Good call!" *stares*

Shoot, you can answer however you please, but once you start explaining your convictions apologetically, as if you give a ƒuck if she's offeneded, you are pandering. :nono:
 

jophil28

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More from middle aged HB (MAHB)
She works as an admin assistant in a local school in an office with five other women, All the women are aged 40 plus ...
MAHB is slim and hot BUT she has a few health issues originating from an intolerance to gluten ( found in wheat and wheat products) .She becomes bloated with abdominal pain and quite irritable if she eats bread, cake, cookies or biscuits or anything which has wheat or flour in it. She gets tired and her gut gets nasty.
Anyways, a few days ago one of the ladies in her office was having a birthday and everyone chipped in and ordered a BIG cake with all the candles and the whipped cream and the frosting...

MAHB called me that same morning and asked if I wanted to come to her house for dinner ..
"Yes, I will be there at 7"
So i arrive with some juice because I do not drink wine, and MAHB is working in her kitchen but she looks, and sounds unwell... "Hey, what's up MAHB ?"
SHe tells me that she ate a huge piece(s) of the birthday cake and now ,"I am paying for it."
I say," Why did you eat that. You know the score ."
She says," I HAD to eat it. It was a birthday cake for "J" and it would have been rude and impolite to decline. "
I say,"Huh? You ate it to please someone else. YOu put your own health second to being compliant to some imagined obligation that you believe you had to the birthday girl. THAT IS REALLY F**KED BEHAVIOR !"
She gets a little quiet and upset and then she starts in on me," You do not understand. YOu care nothing for your social life. People count you know. "J" was my friend .. and .....(more irrational word-puking ).....
And you should not criticise or blame me - use " I " statements if you are annoyed with me ." (she recently started reading a few Pop Psych books and now she got all the trendy sayings.)
I reply, " What is an 'I ' statement ?"
She," A sentence beginning with " I". It expresses how you think and feel."

I go quiet and toss this over in my mind - hmmmm !
I say, " I have one. I think that you are a f**king idiot ."
She cries and goes to the bedroom and slams the door and I microwave some macoroni and cheese.
 

blueguy

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speed dawg said:
Actually it's the exact opposite. Read this: ALL WOMEN KNOW THEY HAVE OPTIONS. In a healthy relationship with a confident woman, a little of both is needed. Like another poster said, give her enough to get her hooked but not enough to overdose.

With a low self esteem girl, you have to be MORE of a DJ and pretty much treat them like sh1t to keep their IL. You've got a lot to learn, pal.
It's not... but I understand where you're coming from. Ego may be a better term than self-esteem. Not all girls know they have better options. A lot of chicks with high egos who know they have options can still feel bad about themselves and have a low self-esteem. These high ego chicks need to be not cared about for their interest level to remain high. I know, it's really quite pathetic.
 

speed dawg

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blueguy said:
It's not... but I understand where you're coming from. Ego may be a better term than self-esteem. Not all girls know they have better options. A lot of chicks with high egos who know they have options can still feel bad about themselves and have a low self-esteem. These high ego chicks need to be not cared about for their interest level to remain high. I know, it's really quite pathetic.
Exactly. Big difference in ego (or need for attention) and self-esteem (confidence).

Girl with big ego and high self-esteem = dangerous
Girl with big ego and low self-esteem = attention hor
Girl with small ego and high self-esteem = quality
Girl with small ego and low self-esteem = usually an outcast
 

Boschy

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Rollo Tomassi said:
BOSCHY's, "You're the most beautiful girl in the world" line is the standard AFC, I'll-lose-her-if-I-say-anything-else, scarcity mentality that women see right through. As I said, they already know the answer before they ask the question, and your trying to reassure them of your attraction and interest only aggrivates this insecurity - it's the "what else is he gonna say" element that just confirms for her that you're pandering to her....Like I said, this is a golden opportunity to display confidence behavior. Once you adopt the "you're so beautiful" patronization, she confirms that she is your only option and the frame of the relationship is firmly in her control.
Heh heh. Should have elaborated.

If you follow the notion I mentioned from the start, you won't get to the stage of her seeking reassurance. Plus, why would a bloke who is a prize-catch date ugly women? Therefore, any chick you choose is always a total honey. That was my point.

Of course, this all has to be balanced with serious C&F and a prizability state of mind 24/7. Like anything, over do it and you certainly will be in the running for AFC of the Year. :yes:
 
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