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Women squimring out of boundarys

l_e_g_e_n_d

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I believe Rollo absolutely holds them accountable.
I personally haven't read anything from Rollo regarding "agency" or "culpability." Have you? All I have ever read is founded on fallacious arguments professing that hypergamy is the superlative impetus of women's behavior.


Danger said:
I believe his base argument is that it is her desires that matter, and no boundary will change her desire, which is completely true.
Deeper question. Why do her desires matter? While in exclusive relation, I desire to bang countless hot women other than her. Should she contrive ways to temper such desire such as banging me three times a day with new lingerie each encounter? Even if she did commit such acts, I would still desire to bang other hot women. Accordingly, worrying about her desire is absolutely pointless. Not to be confused with not meeting her needs while meeting mine, but rather contriving machinations to alter her desire is an academic exercise with little value.

Rather I take the position: Here I am. Here are my expectations. Play by them or don't. Just understand the consequence.
 
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l_e_g_e_n_d

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So ultimately it is not about blame, it is about "what are we going to do about it?".
My point is not to assign "blame," but to assign "culpability." These are two disparate terms. One is founded in weakness by pointing outwards, the other in strength by walking away.
Everybody's desires matter. By understanding desires and motivations, you become that much better at the chessboard of life.
I agree with this in business matters. But in interpersonal relations, if I had a need to consciously alter her desire through tactics, I have already lost. I choose compatibility of existing attributes tempered with the ability to walk away if and when these interpersonal attributes change, as opposed to manipulation of desire. Although diametrically described in a spectrum of possibilities, I will stick close to the former every time.
 

l_e_g_e_n_d

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Danger said:
I look at myself as a generally malleable person with some desires and characteristics not up for change. Basically, there are the elements of me that make me happy and I will not change, for anyone. Then there are the elements of me that I will change for a myriad of reasons, mainly to make me a stronger person as far as options in life in general, not just with women.

I mean, when I first learned of game, I could have chosen the route of saying "I want someone to like me for me". While some do this (and I believe it is a form of blue-pill thinking), I am more apt to say, what do I need to do to utilize this and become better in general. This applies to weight lifting for muscle building, learning new usable skills for business, attracting women, etc,...
Begin fluid is a strength, but tempering fluidity with not accepting behaviors that could be damaging to you (and her) is wisdom.
 

Rainman4707

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Mate guarding seems too paranoid to me. Unless she is locked in your cellar she will find a way to cheat IF she wants to.

I go to movies with my women friends. I even stay the night (spare bed). She also knows that I could cheat IF I wanted to and that a f-ck is only a phonecall away. Takes a little bit of trust.

Screen for better women.
Be a man they want to be with.
Guess it depends what type of LTR you are in. I know that my girl would not accept me going to the pictures with another girl & then staying at her house. Your relationship must be a lot more open than mine.
 

Rainman4707

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Well put and absolutely fair enough. It seems to work for me and my partner. May not work for everybody.
If my gf started smoking it would be over but that is ok for some people and they even find it sexy. Different strokes I guess.
You come across to me like your "relationship" is quite laid back. Do you & your gf have any future plans?
 

Sho-No-Luv

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Just last week as I was browsing Pof, I saw a female (extremely attractive) on there that actually posted this: "Me at my best friends wedding". And yes, the best friend was standing right next to her. Only thing perplexing is that the best friend in the picture was a guy. It raised alot of questions for me. o_O

1. Is he gay? If not..
2. What does the new wife think about her?
3. Will they continue "hanging out" like before he got married if so..
4. What will the new wife say?
5. What will the boyfriend or future boyfriend think about it?
6.Have they ever had sex
7.Will wifey propose boundaries on hubby not to spend so much time with "best friend"?


I know from experience that it's hard for men and women to "just be friends". I had a female friend once (years ago) that went ballistic on me when she found out I was engaged, needless to say that ended our fairy tale friendship.
 

Rainman4707

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OP was a hypothetical question. It did'nt actually happen. My curiousity wondered what you guys would make of this situation stated in OP.


Some interesting reading in this thread.


It seems theres only so much we can do with our boundaries. It's a funny subject because women can test the boundary like situation in OP & other scenarios mentioned in this thread where women could test the boundary & put themselves in scenarios where they can see men, but we will come off as needy, controlling & insecure if we mention it, which leads me to what has been said in the past, I think you have to have a very good level of trust in your woman unless what is the point in being with her. Trust her in situations when she is with other men.
Although im more for boundaries than against, i think some members on here take the boundries to serious. Like has been said before, there are far to many chances for a woman to cheat. You've gotta have some level of trust. That's the main thing here in my opininon trust.

I still keep an eye on her though.
 

Lynx nkaf

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https://therationalmale.com/2014/11/17/boundaries/

The purpose and approach men have with regard to mate guarding usually comes down to two positions.

The first being a moral high-ground idea that women do in fact have a moral or rational agency and thus have an obligation to keep their own Hypergamy in check. This may be from a religious perspective, but more often it’s based upon men’s idealistic equalist hopes that a woman can rationally be expected to parse her own investment in what men think should be Relational Equity.

Or in other words, women should know better, and be expected to cooperate with a male imperative by self-regulating their Hypergamous impulses as a matter of personal and social responsibility.

On a limbic level Hypergamy doesn’t care about Relational Equity and openly appealing to a woman’s reason, rationality or sense of responsibility a man believes she should be beholden to is counterproductive in influencing her genuine desires. However, this is usually a self-guided hope that women will recognize and regulate those behaviors at the risk of being socially ostracized in an already feminine-primary social environment.

Again, this can be couched in a religious expectation, but in a secular-equalist sense it amounts to putting the burden of mate guarding on women by presuming their ‘equal rationality’ will result in women mate guarding themselves by policing their own Hypergamy in men’s best interests. Anything less either makes them convictionless or the nebulous “low quality woman” who wont play by the old-order rules and expectations.

The second approach is a proactive mate guarding based on the presumption that mate guarding is a ‘defense’ against mate poaching by other, presumably (but not necessarily) more Alpha men than the one doing the guarding.

Within that context it’s understandable why men would want to protect their personal investment in a woman. What woman wouldn’t be aroused by the prospect of being fought over by two men she perceives as Alpha rivals? It’s a strong affirmation of her desirability and SMV.

Where it turns into a Beta Tell is when a man’s lifestyle revolves around ‘keeping’ her in a possessive sensefor fear of losing her because she’s his only viable option for sending his genetic material into the future. That kind of mate guarding is the kind inspired by a scarcity mentality, but it’s also due to long evolved, subconscious sensitivities to her behavioral inconsistencies at or around her time of ovulation.

This is what Dr. Hasselton was getting into in her studies – ovulatory shift in mate preferences created an evolved sensitivity of them in men which in turn produced contingency behaviors (mate guarding) to ensure he wasn’t wasting his parental investment efforts with a child that wasn’t his own.

An evolved mate guarding sensitivity and contingent strategy was basically insurance against men’s cuckoldry risks.

I would argue that a contingent mate guarding strategy evolved not as a direct response to Alpha (or even Beta) competition stresses, but rather due to women’s innate Hypergamy, their sexual pluralism and the potential for parental investment deception when women were left with their Hypergamy unchecked.

If a woman’s predominant perception of you is Alpha, if her mental point of origin is one in which she recognizes her own SMV as being subordinate to your own, she wont be asking your “permission” to go to Vegas with her girlfriends for a weekend because her desire for her Alpha will be stronger than her peers influence on her during her ovulation week.

In theory, no woman who sees you as her perceived Alpha and Hypergamous best interest will want to ‘cheat’ on you – so the idea wont even occur to her. I realize this sounds simplistic until you consider the readiness with which most men will similarly isolate themselves socially, putting off friends and family in preference to spending his time with what he believes is a high-value woman.
good job, keep up this thorough work
 
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