Why is it vital to have HER ask to be official with each other?

[sam27]

All the women that I had long term relationships with (not the best track record with winners) after 2 months or so of feeling the time was right I would ask the girl to be exclusive with the title "boyfriend & girlfriend." I have a few other women I am seeing at the moment and I have one that I can just tell is moving towards that.

Just to refresh my thoughts, why is it vital to have HER ask for the title as opposed to me asking? I assume that I want to be in power at all times and by her asking it assures that I have the ball in my court so to speak. Right??

 

[wifehunter]

Ladies are slow, so they set the pace, if you want harmony in your relationship. When she's ready, you'll know.

Sex is the same. Ladies need time to warmup.

Patience = Challenge

 

[Desdinova]

There are many reasons for this.

If she asks for exclusivity, it means that she is ready for it. If she's not ready for it and you ask, you'll project yourself as higher interest and you'll essentially be putting her in control of your relationship. The person with the least interest is the one who has control in the relationship.

Until a woman asks you for exclusivity, do NOT invest in her emotionally.

 

[marmel75]

All the women that I had long term relationships with (not the best track record with winners) after 2 months or so of feeling the time was right I would ask the girl to be exclusive with the title "boyfriend & girlfriend." I have a few other women I am seeing at the moment and I have one that I can just tell is moving towards that.

Just to refresh my thoughts, why is it vital to have HER ask for the title as opposed to me asking? I assume that I want to be in power at all times and by her asking it assures that I have the ball in my court so to speak. Right??

The question you are asking can be translated as:

"Is it VITAL for me to play the male role in the relationship instead of the female role?"

Think you can answer that for yourself?

 

[Dealler]

All the women that I had long term relationships with (not the best track record with winners) after 2 months or so of feeling the time was right I would ask the girl to be exclusive with the title "boyfriend & girlfriend." I have a few other women I am seeing at the moment and I have one that I can just tell is moving towards that.

Just to refresh my thoughts, why is it vital to have HER ask for the title as opposed to me asking? I assume that I want to be in power at all times and by her asking it assures that I have the ball in my court so to speak. Right??

Let her put labels on your relationship. Your goal should be to sleep with her and have fun with her. Let her come to you with her own pace and things will just naturally develop.

 

[RangerMIke]

Pursuing relationships is feminine. If you are a man going around asking for a relationship, then you are not projecting a masculine frame.

 

[Alvafe]

come too from the prize mentality, if you are the prize she is the one who need to rush before someone else get it.

we have too the plates theory, you would be dating more then one girl so you really din't care much for her. and remember a invested girl will more likely stay with you longer, if is the other way around..... plus remember you said it already you started the labels everytime, if that was right you wouldn't be asking this question

 

[logicallefty]

Desdinovia gave my answer word for word.

Also, often when a woman asks me for commitment and I am ready my response is "Ohhh it's a little sooner than I typically do this but your timing is good... Was going to give the other woman I'm seeing the boot anyway so sure, why not"


this lets her know that you have other options and are not chomping at the bit to be exclusive. but are willing to do it because she asked you at just the right time.

It also let her know that you can and will end things if you so choose.

 

[WanderingMan]

Personally, I feel context is key here. I understand the arguments, however, if you're the man...then shouldn't YOU lead the way? I've been involved with quite a few women who have been standing by waiting for me to ask them. Waiting for me(the Man) to say the words.

I may be spit balling a little bit, but I feel it would take a lot for a truly submissive woman to ask you to go exclusive. AND, let's just say a hard charging no ****s given woman did ask you to go exclusive....and you said YES....what does that say about you? Why were you waiting on her to ask? If you wanted it too, why didn't YOU ask? Why were you waiting on her?

 

[Vivacity]

Personally, I feel context is key here. I understand the arguments, however, if you're the man...then shouldn't YOU lead the way? I've been involved with quite a few women who have been standing by waiting for me to ask them. Waiting for me(the Man) to say the words.

I may be spit balling a little bit, but I feel it would take a lot for a truly submissive woman to ask you to go exclusive. AND, let's just say a hard charging no ****s given woman did ask you to go exclusive....and you said YES....what does that say about you? Why were you waiting on her to ask? If you wanted it too, why didn't YOU ask? Why were you waiting on her?

I don't follow these rules. If you like a really good girl and want to be exclusive with her, just tell her and ask her to be exclusive.

 

[casanova_goat]

Men are expected to, in the end, propose, after all. And that is for the most official relationship there is.

 

[Trump]

All the women that I had long term relationships with (not the best track record with winners) after 2 months or so of feeling the time was right I would ask the girl to be exclusive with the title "boyfriend & girlfriend." I have a few other women I am seeing at the moment and I have one that I can just tell is moving towards that.

Just to refresh my thoughts, why is it vital to have HER ask for the title as opposed to me asking? I assume that I want to be in power at all times and by her asking it assures that I have the ball in my court so to speak. Right??

It's not vital. You can ask her if you'd like to be "boyfriend, girlfriend", just don't make the answer important or make her think her answer will affect you emotionally.

Other than that, go for it.

 

[Desdinova]

my response is "Ohhh it's a little sooner than I typically do this but your timing is good... Was going to give the other woman I'm seeing the boot anyway so sure, why not"

The great thing about my current GF is she actually watched me pick up another woman and date her for six months. That probably helped contribute to her extremely high interest.

 

[zekko]

Ladies are slow, so they set the pace, if you want harmony in your relationship. When she's ready, you'll know.

I like this answer. Women, especially attractive ones, have a lot of options. A lot of men don't have all these options or get that much attention from the opposite sex, so when they find one that gives them the time of day they go overboard. Women with options tend to see these guys as losers. They think it's creepy and needy to "fall in love" too quickly, they can't relate to it. That's one reason why it's best to let them set the relationship agenda. Wait for them to be ready and they won't think you're a loser for jumping the gun.

Why would any high value man choose to cage himself?

That sounds good in theory, but if you check out the Mature Man forum, there's a thread there showing that the vast majority of guys here are looking for relationships.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

It depends guys. All of these rules on here aren't set in stone. Everything can be maneuvered.

If a chick is ready to settle down...I've seen chicks get asked to be in a relationship before they even have sex...and I'll say "you don't think that's weird?"...then they'll say "Guys always wanna wife me up". Her ego doesn't rationalize it being weird that the guy wants to lock her down...her ego adjust it as if she's that great of a catch.

Here's the thing...The same chick will find out about the guy who said this...who is gaming another chick and lying to her...and immediately her compete radar goes off and she's doing the chasing and I see the pedestal get knocked out right from under her LIVE! Lol

What you say to these broads means absolutely nothing in my opinion. Coming from a guy who's known smooth "black" game...telling these chicks what they wanna hear and about how much you like them WORKS! Just spin plates!

Spinning plates imo is the most important thing in gaming females.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You don't have to ask her to be exclusive, because for women, it comes naturally. If she likes you a lot, she won't want to have sex with anyone else. Guys are typically the opposite. Monogamy is not natural for men.

 

[marmel75]

Personally, I feel context is key here. I understand the arguments, however, if you're the man...then shouldn't YOU lead the way? I've been involved with quite a few women who have been standing by waiting for me to ask them. Waiting for me(the Man) to say the words.

I may be spit balling a little bit, but I feel it would take a lot for a truly submissive woman to ask you to go exclusive. AND, let's just say a hard charging no ****s given woman did ask you to go exclusive....and you said YES....what does that say about you? Why were you waiting on her to ask? If you wanted it too, why didn't YOU ask? Why were you waiting on her?

Wrong.

A man is supposed to be an untamed stallion and the women knows her job is to try and tame you.

Except you want to tame yourself. See how silly that sounds and even worse looks to a woman? No man that is worth chasing ever tames himself.

It would be like playing a sport and intentionally scoring on yourself. It's like WTF are you doing??

 

[bigneil]

Why would the person who has a choice get to choose?? That's like saying "I sent my resume to a company - who are THEY to think THEY get to decide whether to hire me?"

The woman has 200 options and you have 1-3. Who is sacrificing more in a commitment?

 

[Vivacity]

You don't have to ask her to be exclusive, because for women, it comes naturally. If she likes you a lot until she finds someone better than you, she won't want to have sex with anyone else. Guys are typically the opposite. Monogamy is not natural for men.

Right, and when she finds someone better than you, she will not like you as much and she will not have sex with you.

I have seen more men monogamous than women and more men more disciplined than women. I have seen women who are dating and who are in a relationships flirting with other men and eyeing on other men in public places in the presence of men they are dating and they are in relationship with. They don't even realize how creepy and pathetic their attitude and behavior is. I have seen more men showing respect and knowing their boundaries and behave themselves in an appropriate manner with respect to people they know in relationships and they know are taken.

 

[Robert_F]

Trust no woman in a relationship. While she has her arms around you, one hand is holding a knife while the other is attempting to pick your pocket.