why bother calling back

[drmeathead]

i ran into this girl yesterday. she and i had played the call me sometime game about 3 months ago. i called her she didnt return my call. well i was out for wings with some friends and she came over to say hello.

shetold me that i disappeared suddenly and it was nice to see me. i took that as she wanted me to call her becuase she was acting as though she didnt **** me around. whatever. i just ignored her the rest of the night but i gave her a call the next day, thursday. i left her a message that she should call me back if she wanted to go out. she called me back later that night at like 11. i was already in bed for an hour so when she called i was groggy as hell. (i should have just let it go to voicemail but i was not thinking). anyway we made plans to go out sunday sometime. i told her i would call when i got a reservation in order. she said great.

i called her saturday like i said. i got her vociemail. i told her to call me. she never did. i called her after midnight and left her a message telling her to call me or we werent going out. that was dumb i know.

anyway, why call me back to set up a date? it wasnt like i talked her into this and she agreed and bcked out. i am right thinking she is just nuts?

 

[DeathDealer]

no, she's not nuts. she just doesn't respect you. NEXT.

 

[catch]

nah man dont next her, its too soon,

everytime youve rang she hasnt answerd, yeah ok thats odd, and you could think "oh no! she doesnt like me" or you could stop over thinking it and go on that first date.

abandon your analisis and go with the flow, push her all the way until she says no.. IF she says no...

 

[saki]

I think you did RIGHT by telling her that if she didnt call you back you werent going to go out. Let her know you dont fvck around!

 

[Scought]

I dont know if this helps but here is a recent experience of mine:

This girl and i met, phoned, hung out over winter and on new years. We had sex several times. Then I went out of town for a while but I returned and called her while I was gone to say whats up and what not.

I get back into town leave a message, she returns it at like 130. I was out getting drunk and hitting on women, so i return the call at 230 at night. (haha, i thought it was funny). Anyway, left a message, then I left a message the next day saying I was drunk and prolly didnt make sense. SHe called back about 45 minutes later.
Now, this girl doesnt have a cell phone, so its impossible getting a hold of her.
So, we talk and i mention getting together and she is game. Then I call a few days later to hang out, and havent heard from her. Its weird that she called me just a day or two ago and made tenative plans, then doesnt return my call. This was yesterday afternoon and Ill be leaving town again soon.

I cant think of anything I did wrong. But, her knowing im in town and returning some calls and not others is perplexing. I didnt do anything wrong, other than calling her back saying we should get together and i'd call her with details later.

I want to next her. In fact, ive deleted her number from my phone after I called her to hang out. If she wants to hang out, she knows how she will.

But i guess i agree with the guys advice not to give up just yet. However, I have a hard time with that. If i dont get equal play in terms of calls and such, or even returned calls, i dont appreciate that and would rather not bother.
However, there may be a good reason for this. We were having fun together and itd be surprising for it to just end, especially when she will return calls, no matter how selective her return calls are.
So if you can handle guessing what is going to happen, keep trying. However, i want respect and give respect. So, if i call more than twice with no return call, ill just delete a number and make her make the next move.
Dating is a two person game. You have to do a lot, but at some point a woman has to pass the ball back to you. SO, if you can handle the wait and see game, go a head. Otherwise, call one last time, leave a message (upbeat, friendly) and then delete the number and find other girls.

If she is interested, its on her now.

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by catch
nah man dont next her, its too soon,

everytime youve rang she hasnt answerd, yeah ok thats odd, and you could think "oh no! she doesnt like me" or you could stop over thinking it and go on that first date.

abandon your analisis and go with the flow, push her all the way until she says no.. IF she says no...

did you read the first line? he already said she and him played the "call me later" game about 3 months ago.

phone game:

nice guy

girl: hold on for a minute, i have to use the bathroom.
nice guy: sure, i will hold on, hurry up hehehe!

the dude

girl: same message
the dude: i'll talk to you later and let you take your sh1t.

 

[drmeathead]

my friend ran into this girl at the bar last thursday. he asked her why she was giving me the run around. she said i was giving her the run around. he has been very adamant about me calling her again. he is friends with both of us. so i called her toinght got voicemail. told her to call back and left a number.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

Some people just like to see they have a message or 6 messages. At this point getting angry or acting hurt is ridiculous. Don't talk about messaging in anyway if she contacts you. Just make a plan. If she flakes in any way she NEXTed herself.

 

[drmeathead]

i am not mad. if she calls and we go out great. i owe my friend a drink. if she doesnt. he owes me one.

 

[MacDiddy]

You called her after Midnight????

No sir!! it is you that is a nut!!!

next.....

 

[Seeph]

the mistake was made when she first approached you.. you should have said "ive played that game with you before, you should still have my # if you want to hang out sometime" either she would have made an excuse as to why she didnt have it and gotten it again or would have said yes and walked off and might have called or might not have.

When you called and told her if she didnt call back you werent going out... it's a good move... just not in this situation.. She has your # now. Dont call her.. delete her #. If she calls hey 1 point for you. if not.. you break even.

 

[drmeathead]

mac daddy is there a reason you are trying to show me up with your response?

 

[xiola]

you should have called her just once on sat. and left a message. Thats it. If she wants to go out with you, trust me, she is watching her phone hoping you will call. Thats exactly what I do in those situations, I give a girl once chance and thats it.

Next

b

 

[ScrewIt]

well the thing is, if her IL is high enough, she wouldve called back, but apparently it isnt.

i remember a semester ago, i'd run into this girl maybe 1x a week or so. Id have a chat with her and tell her we should get together sometime and shoot pool or something.

then one day i run into her and suggest a game after class, she agrees and says she'll give me a call. well she didnt, she called around 8pm and said she forgot, when i was taking a nap. i told her no biggie, i forgot about it too and we can go some other time. and we did later down the line. There were other occassions down the line where i call her up for lunch and all i get is voicemail, neither does she call back. Exactly as Scought had said, the couple times she didnt call back, i dont do anything, i let her make the move if she truly is interested, and she did. Her IL was pretty high actually...

well anyway, the point is -

1) girls will try to appear busy, but not returning your phone calls, nor picking up.

2) they "say" theyre busy, apparently not busy enough to tell you that theyve been busy, get the drift?

3) they also dont want to appear desperate, but agreeing to a date so soon

4) they ARE playing the game, if you next so soon, it's already ended before you even got the ball in court.

5) this is also sometimes a shyt test, to see how you react and to test whether or not you are desperate.

6) go about your own goals and life, when they see that you dont NEED them they will want to be a part of your life.

 

[MacDiddy]

mac daddy is there a reason you are trying to show me up with your response?

Hmm.. Trying to make me qualify myself I see

Lets get one thing straight:
I'm not your daddy..
I'm not here to waste my time..
I make no apologies for attitude..

I'm where you may be in maybe 6-12 months time if you play your cards right. That is confident, alpha, go get what you want and highly prize your time and energy.
I don't call girls at midnight, I don't call girls more than once. If they don't reply, even if its for some unforseen reason, I don't care. Its their loss. My attitude is: "I'm the catch" and they can take it or lump it.

You had high hopes for this date. It shows in your constant calling back. Making sure she got your message made you look needy. You made a mistake by not making a firm arrangements with her and that gave her an opportunity to back out if she so desired. She has the choice and since she didn't feel any rapport with you at the time, she exercised that choice... treating you like the AFC that you are...

Take this to heart. the power is there for you to take back. Go read the bible!!!!

Most AFCs need a good kick in the A-hole before they get it!!!