cpddavis said:
There are an awful lot of posts about the pitfalls one might fall through, and stupid behaviour to avoid both on your part and a woman's. I agree with most of it.
However, I think the perspective is somewhat skewed. At some point, you get beyond all the game playing and YOU ACTUALLY CARE. I agree that for the most part you shouldn't and for the most part I don't - but if are ready to make some kind of committment or enter in god forbid, marriage you actually do have to give a **** and it's not that easy to be so non-chalant if she displeases you, after all you have things invested. So if you are at that point and she has passed YOUR **** tests, what are the qualities and character traits that make it worth your while to give an actual **** about her?
I myself am not actually sure since every girl that I thought was there has dissapointed me up to here.
IThink every man needs to be honest with himself in the relationship game.
What i mean is:
it is fine to find or blame external sources for not achieving things in life.
But it’s not fine to make the sole purpose of our reality.
for example a poor quality guy stating he rejects women due to poor ideals he has built up, is not doing himself any favours, same for women.
this is not about you being a poor quality guy.
but can you state:
you handle situations well.
you don’t get Jealous, possessive, abusive.
You don’t carry baggage into relationships.
you have dealt with your mistakes and shortfalls based on how past relationships have worked out?
for example a guy who looses a women by being controlling, not letting her go out, and gets possessive if she talks to any other guys, whist he sits on a pc all day playing games. Can’t really blame external influences for his lack of success unless he re0evaluated and changes his behaviour for the next relationship.
(not you, but a general example and i find this to be very common)
Think about each relationship has a new chapter in your life.
A process where you have the opportunity when they fail, to asses what YOU did wrong, not what THEY did wrong, since when all is said and done the reason it failed is through the choices YOU made.
Even if that choice was picking the wrong partner or making mistakes in the relationship, until you can finally claim responsibility for your own short falls.
you will never learn and progress or you will stagnate.
What i am saying is.
Before we can assess what the women can offer.
We need to know we can offer quality back.
Its not good, looking for the fabled quality women when all we can offer is a silver painted tur*, in return eventually the silver painting will wear off and we will be to square one or square 7 as the cycle simply repeats.
there is a reason this site offers advice on self improvement to stop the cycle of bad experiences coming your way, to make better choices and become a worthy prize for the women you see in your sights.
Internally is the place to sort out, address all shortfalls from old relationships should be priority number one, then and only then can you think about going again, if you rush in your liable to face history repeating.
If you believe you are the great catch that you have come to be, then you can aim your sights and make a good choice and not compromise your values, then when you do meet her, I believe then there is a very high % it will work out, but like most things in life there are never any guarantees especially where humans are concerned, but at least we can address issues from our own perspective and boost our chances of entering an investment or a deal with a higher rate of return.
