backbreaker
Master Don Juan
I don't know if this belongs here or anywhere else, but i will put it here and if it needs to be changed, change it.
anyway i will start. My last real GF, I had just started really somewhat taking her seriously. It was a sunday night and I was out with my friends playing pool. So I get a call from her, and she asks me what I was doing later that night and could she come over.
My exact words, and this is the important, was that I don't know what I am doing, I will give you a call later and let you know (which is ******** for something more important than seeing you, but if it doesn't happen I will call you as a backup plan)
So I had talked to this hot peice of ass about a week earlier, and I had called her 3 times and left messages and said **** it, three strikes you are out, and she called me out of the blue about 20 mintues later and told me she was sorry, she had just broken up with her BF and didn't feel like talking to anothe rguy but did think I was cute and didn't want me to think she was throwing me to the curve... so after about 10 mintues of flirting and telling her she has to make it up to me... tonight... she agrees to meet me at my apartment in an hour.. just enough time to whip some more ass in pool and have a couple of more drinks.
So she comes over about 12:30, and she gets comfortable (one of the oddest moments, at least to me witha woman, is when a woman comes over your house not from a date for the first time and you haven't been on a date yet... you know what she is there for, shek nows what she is there for, but you can't just say ***** suck my **** because she will get offended... even though she wants to suck your ****... I have found the "massage works best in this situtation")
So we are having a few drinks, I give her a massage, and then we go at it. Damn she was bad. Taller than me, long legs, nice breasts.. anyway I am getting off track. By now its about 2 in the morning...
Knock knock knock on the door.
I am thinking.. WTF?
I thought it was my best friends, one of them... but I was thinking.. both of them have a key, they wouldn't have given me the curtisy of knocking.. we have a running joke of just barging into each others houses trying to catch each other in the most embarassing moments possible.. they caught me getting a bJ once, funny ****. Maybe my neighboor who comes over from time to time? But at 2 in the morning on a Sunday night?
So I go to the door.. ****, it's Amber (the girl I had somewhat started seeing) WTF is she doing here this late.. hell, what is she doing here? Then I thought about it, and I was like, wait.. I am not doing anything wrong. I am not dating her, she knows I have sex with other women just like I was sure she was still getting ****ed by other men from time to time... But I can't tell her I am getting my **** sucked at this very moment.. plus I knew she was probably plastered, which is why she showed up in the first place.
So I get my game plan together.. I tell the girl int he room to shut the **** u for a couple of mintues, and I open the door, pretending like i am just waking up with my eyes shut.
I couldn't prepare myself for this ****.. she had literarly her bags with her and everything.. she must have been really really ****ed up.
"I'm moving in!"
and everything I had planned just went out the door, I wanted to laugh so damn hard. ;So i tell her that babe i have to be up at 6 in the morning (which was true) and I don't have time for this tonight, and to go home.
She asks me, so you don't want me anymore? I said, babe, I never said that, but for one, you are moving too fast, secondly, you are drunk, and lastly, it's too late in the morning, and more importantly, you didn't even ask. I feel disrespected
Her: I am sorry... (can't make this **** up.).. so can I move in?
Me: no
Her: What about tomorrow?
Me; No
Her: Why not? You ****ing someone else (yes).. you smell like sex, who is in your room?
Me: (damn shes good) WTF are you talking about? I am knocked out, you know I don't do **** on sundays (which I usually dont)
Her: I know you have been ****ing, I just want to know who so I can whip her ass
Me: First of all I am not and if I was you aren't going to do **** in my house or you can get out.
Me: Okay babe, you know what, **** you, you don't trust me, that's fine.. go in my room right now and see if anyone is in therek and when you come back and don't see anyone, get your **** and get out and dont' call back, becuase ovbiously you don't trust me.. (knowing if she goes in I am ****ed, not becuase of her and me, but because she was going to try to beat her ass, and then the police might come in, there goes my night)
Her: you seriously don't have anyone in your room?
Me: go see for yourself (I know I have her know)
Her: and you really just want to get some sleep?
Me: WTF do you think? it's 2 in the morning and I want to stay up and help you move in and take care of you being drunk in all.. go home and i will see you tomorrow and we can both talk when we are both sober.
Her: can we go and get something to eat together tomorrow
Me:.. deal.. only if you pay for it though after this ****.
Her: Okay, bye bye
The girl in my room was almost crying with laughter after that, we were just one room away, I am suprised she didn't hear her... and she spent the night and we kept having sex
funny ****
anyway i will start. My last real GF, I had just started really somewhat taking her seriously. It was a sunday night and I was out with my friends playing pool. So I get a call from her, and she asks me what I was doing later that night and could she come over.
My exact words, and this is the important, was that I don't know what I am doing, I will give you a call later and let you know (which is ******** for something more important than seeing you, but if it doesn't happen I will call you as a backup plan)
So I had talked to this hot peice of ass about a week earlier, and I had called her 3 times and left messages and said **** it, three strikes you are out, and she called me out of the blue about 20 mintues later and told me she was sorry, she had just broken up with her BF and didn't feel like talking to anothe rguy but did think I was cute and didn't want me to think she was throwing me to the curve... so after about 10 mintues of flirting and telling her she has to make it up to me... tonight... she agrees to meet me at my apartment in an hour.. just enough time to whip some more ass in pool and have a couple of more drinks.
So she comes over about 12:30, and she gets comfortable (one of the oddest moments, at least to me witha woman, is when a woman comes over your house not from a date for the first time and you haven't been on a date yet... you know what she is there for, shek nows what she is there for, but you can't just say ***** suck my **** because she will get offended... even though she wants to suck your ****... I have found the "massage works best in this situtation")
So we are having a few drinks, I give her a massage, and then we go at it. Damn she was bad. Taller than me, long legs, nice breasts.. anyway I am getting off track. By now its about 2 in the morning...
Knock knock knock on the door.
I am thinking.. WTF?
I thought it was my best friends, one of them... but I was thinking.. both of them have a key, they wouldn't have given me the curtisy of knocking.. we have a running joke of just barging into each others houses trying to catch each other in the most embarassing moments possible.. they caught me getting a bJ once, funny ****. Maybe my neighboor who comes over from time to time? But at 2 in the morning on a Sunday night?
So I go to the door.. ****, it's Amber (the girl I had somewhat started seeing) WTF is she doing here this late.. hell, what is she doing here? Then I thought about it, and I was like, wait.. I am not doing anything wrong. I am not dating her, she knows I have sex with other women just like I was sure she was still getting ****ed by other men from time to time... But I can't tell her I am getting my **** sucked at this very moment.. plus I knew she was probably plastered, which is why she showed up in the first place.
So I get my game plan together.. I tell the girl int he room to shut the **** u for a couple of mintues, and I open the door, pretending like i am just waking up with my eyes shut.
I couldn't prepare myself for this ****.. she had literarly her bags with her and everything.. she must have been really really ****ed up.
"I'm moving in!"
and everything I had planned just went out the door, I wanted to laugh so damn hard. ;So i tell her that babe i have to be up at 6 in the morning (which was true) and I don't have time for this tonight, and to go home.
She asks me, so you don't want me anymore? I said, babe, I never said that, but for one, you are moving too fast, secondly, you are drunk, and lastly, it's too late in the morning, and more importantly, you didn't even ask. I feel disrespected
Her: I am sorry... (can't make this **** up.).. so can I move in?
Me: no
Her: What about tomorrow?
Me; No
Her: Why not? You ****ing someone else (yes).. you smell like sex, who is in your room?
Me: (damn shes good) WTF are you talking about? I am knocked out, you know I don't do **** on sundays (which I usually dont)
Her: I know you have been ****ing, I just want to know who so I can whip her ass
Me: First of all I am not and if I was you aren't going to do **** in my house or you can get out.
Me: Okay babe, you know what, **** you, you don't trust me, that's fine.. go in my room right now and see if anyone is in therek and when you come back and don't see anyone, get your **** and get out and dont' call back, becuase ovbiously you don't trust me.. (knowing if she goes in I am ****ed, not becuase of her and me, but because she was going to try to beat her ass, and then the police might come in, there goes my night)
Her: you seriously don't have anyone in your room?
Me: go see for yourself (I know I have her know)
Her: and you really just want to get some sleep?
Me: WTF do you think? it's 2 in the morning and I want to stay up and help you move in and take care of you being drunk in all.. go home and i will see you tomorrow and we can both talk when we are both sober.
Her: can we go and get something to eat together tomorrow
Me:.. deal.. only if you pay for it though after this ****.
Her: Okay, bye bye
The girl in my room was almost crying with laughter after that, we were just one room away, I am suprised she didn't hear her... and she spent the night and we kept having sex
funny ****
