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What KINO is REALLY all about (Advanced)

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by DeepBlue, Apr 15, 2002.

  1. DeepBlue

    DeepBlue Senior Don Juan

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    I've noticed that the concept of kino is almost as widely misunderstood as neghits, so I wrote this to provide some added insight into what is REALLY going on with kino. Hopefully it will be of help to those who are interested. Enjoy...


    The common view of kino is that you're giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you.

    That is certainly true, and we're lucky we live in a time when doing kino with a woman is considered acceptable as soon as you start getting to know her. In older times, guys like Casanova had to be extraordinarily seductive with their *words* just so they could get to the point where they could begin to use kino.

    But the key thing to understand about kino is that when you initiate it with a chick whom you're just getting to know, is that it isn't merely an arousing stimulus, it also challenges the barriers between you.

    The presence of those invisible barriers which you both maintain in your minds is really the key difference between being lovers and strangers.

    Typical AFC behavior is to respect those barriers too much and to never challenge them. That by definition maintains the barriers, leaving them in place. Doesn't matter how well he gets to know the chick, if he leaves those barriers in place he will never be her lover--THAT is why he ends up in the friend category. Because he actually reinforced the barriers instead of destroying them.

    Anyway, the next level up from AFC is to realize that you have to crumble those barriers, so you work on them, but you're still leery about causing any anxiety, and still a bit nervous about challenging the barriers. So you look for excuses to touch, or you reach out and caress her but it has a slightly rushed quality because you're trying to mask some underlying nervousness.

    But ultimately where you want to get to is the point where you recognize that for a woman, the experience of having you challenging the barriers is not ONLY a source of axiety for her, but is also a source of EXCITEMENT. And the idea is to shift the balance so that she experiences more excitement than anxiety.

    Ever see a baby fall down? Notice how they don't know whether to laugh it off or cry so they look to their parents to see the parents face? If the parent frowns with concern then the baby starts crying. If the parent smiles the baby starts laughing.

    Same with women. When you are entering new territory with a woman by challenging the "touch barriers" between you and her then you have to do it calmly and confidently and that CAUSES her to experience it as exciting. If you do it nervously she'll experience it as something that isn't right and that makes her uncomfortable.

    One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness.

    Nervous people also look away, so you calmly make eye contact, and nervous people look serious so be sure to smile a lot.

    Nervous people also make their voice tense, so you make yours relaxed, and make your posture very open and relaxed rather than being closed and tense.

    All these things will convey confidence causing her to mind to interpret your touch as a source of excitement, rather than a source of anxiety.

    The more you understand (and vicariously feel) the way your touch EXCITES her, the more you will naturally become confident about doing it.

    Besides convey confidence, the other thing you need to do with kino is to strike a balance so it isn't either too challenging, nor too tame.

    As you start slowly caressing her--her hand or her arm or her waist or back, or maybe feeling her cheek or her hair with your hand--the ideal to strive for is that you want to keep her gently balanced on the very edge of being too excited, so it is never too much for her to handle, nor so mild that it becomes tame.

    DeepBlue
     
    KingBeef and Tictac like this.
  2. lucien779

    lucien779 Senior Don Juan

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    Ever had Fruit Loops without milk? You begin to crave for the milk. When you use kino on a girl, she begins to crave sex.
     
  3. Gipper

    Gipper Master Don Juan

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    Very good analysis of kino, DeepBlue.

    I would like to add a little more to what you said about barriers and the friend zone.

    Kino also serves the purpose of letting her know that you are interested in her in a sexual way; that is, a way a "friend" would never be.

    Male and female friends may hug (in a non-sexual way) but they wouldn't touch each other the way good kino works.

    The barrier is there until the woman decides which category you will fit into easiest: friend or potential lover. If you don't use kino, it's easier for an indecisive chick just to lump you in the "friend" category. And we all know that once you're in, it's a b!tch to get out.

    Gipper

    ------------------
    "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
    -Trent, from "Swingers"

    "Keep your girlfriend away from me,
    Just advice I’m giving you for free,
    Wanna have every thing I see,
    So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
    -Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

    [This message has been edited by Gipper (edited 04-15-2002).]
     
  4. Don Juan the Fantastic

    Don Juan the Fantastic Don Juan

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    Good post, especially the part where you compare women to babies [​IMG]
     
  5. DeepBlue

    DeepBlue Senior Don Juan

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    Gipper wrote:
    Very good analysis of kino, DeepBlue.
    I would like to add a little more to what you said about barriers and the friend zone.

    Kino also serves the purpose of letting her know that you are interested in her in a sexual way; that is, a way a "friend" would never be.

    Male and female friends may hug (in a non-sexual way) but they wouldn't touch each other the way good kino works.

    The barrier is there until the woman decides which category you will fit into easiest: friend or potential lover. If you don't use kino, it's easier for an indecisive chick just to lump you in the "friend" category. And we all know that once you're in, it's a b!tch to get out.


    Ahh, but that's the whole point. That's the amazing thing. The barrier does NOT simply appear or disappear based on something she decides. Generally, it needs to be dissolved through the kino process itself!

    The repeated experience of being touched, as if you were lovers, gets her accustomed to the physical contact and that is why the barrier gradually dissolves. More often than not, she comes to feel that you are lovers, BECAUSE "poof" that barrier is gone, it has been dissolved. It rarely goes the other way around.

    In general, the more mature and experienced a woman is, the more her own decision making can play a role in lifting the barriers, whereas a younger woman is more likely to need that barrier dissolved through your gently persistant actions and initiative, not through her merely "deciding" that you're lovers. (Of course I am assuming that she is *allowing* your touch, and that she gives signs of enjoying it every step of the way. This is seduction not rape.)

    Similarly, if you don't ever challenge the barriers it maintains and reinforces them to the point where even if she DID want you as a lover, your having strengthened the touch barrier will cause her to percieve you as "just a good friend" rather than a lover. Why? Because that's exactly how it is with good friends--you spend a lot of great time together, but you also respect the barriers against physical contact.

    DeepBlue


    [This message has been edited by DeepBlue (edited 04-15-2002).]
     
  6. Gipper

    Gipper Master Don Juan

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  7. De La Soul

    De La Soul Master Don Juan

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    Great post. The best summary of kino I've read.
     
  8. Bonhomme

    Bonhomme Master Don Juan

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    Direct hit!

    This should be in "tips."

    So when's your neg-hit summary coming, DeepBlue?
     
  9. SoSuave.com

    SoSuave.com Administrator

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    Tips forum.
     
  10. glowstix

    glowstix Senior Don Juan

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    good post
     
  11. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    So many newbies rush out there with 'neghits' as wild knights to destroy the hot chicks' castle-like egos. Likewise, so many newbies get creepy with the kino. You're right, it IS misunderstood. These are subtle tools, not sledgehammers.

    With anything, keep your attitude light and fun. If heaviness weighs down your spirit, don't go experimenting.

    I am interested! Speak on, Mr. DeepBlue!

    If this is the common view of kino, then there is a problem.

    NO! Saying that Kino is to give the WOMAN pleasure? Why is the focus on the woman? No, the focus MUST be on YOURSELF. Yes, she should find pleasure in the kino. But YOU should find pleasure in the kino too.

    You touch her because YOU want to, not because SHE wants it. Why? Because she wants to be TOUCHED and FLIRTED with by EVERY DECENT-CUTE GUY. We are not play-toys for their endless appetite of sexuality.

     
  12. Surfboard

    Surfboard Senior Don Juan

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    Excellent post "DeepBlue."

    How about some more of that advanced knowledge you have hidden away. [​IMG]
     
  13. Dr_Feelgood

    Dr_Feelgood Don Juan

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    Excellent post Guys!

    I was always a nice guy, too afraid to use kino. Although I agree with a lot of Doc Love's advice this is one area I don't totally agree with him on.

    You need to use kino!

    I used to be afraid of using it even on dates. I thought I'd be more of a Challenge, and she'd feel more comfortable around me. If I was a sexual guy, instead of a nice guy, this may have been true.

    BUT, NICE GUYS NEED TO USE KINO! I'm in complete agreement now with Pook. You have to show your sexuality. I did it for the first time last night with incredible results. Unfortunately, the good Doc Feelgood was too foolish to notice a ring on her finger, but it still had results.

    I touched a hottie on the arm while we were joking around about something. She mentioned seeing my friend before. I took her gently by the arm, and led her over to meet him. She started teasing me about people thinking that I'm gay because I have such a big smile. I said, "I'm not gay, I just have a lot of inner joy. I'm happy to be having fun." She laughed and put her hands on my chest and held them there. She said, "You have nice pecs." Then she kept touching me. Hugged me, and even kissed me on the cheek. She said I should come and dance with her so other chicks will see me and know I'm not gay.

    It was kind of a running joke between us. I'm sure the kino left her know I wasn't gay. Keep in mind that this chick was married. Kino is that powerful. I'm just too stupid to look for the ring sometimes.

    I touched another girl on the arm, and noticed a strong reaction from her.

    Last night was my first time confidently initiating kino. And I can tell you for a fact, it's magic! You need to use kino. It's a lot more powerful than I ever realized.
     
  14. T Dog

    T Dog Master Don Juan

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    Right on Pook!

    Kino, kino, kino. We need an advance discussion on this issue.

    Kino mirroring,
    Kino intitation,
    Kino one-ups-manship,
    Kino for the close,

    Discuss!
     
  15. Ronin

    Ronin Senior Don Juan

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    I understand everything except for one small thing. I am new to this Kino stuff and I can't wait to get usin it. [​IMG] I have been working slowly on my confidence and confidence and everything and I think it't time to start learning about Kino and neg hits.

    Anyways my question is this. When do u use kino, do u have to pick and choose your times to use it? What are some examples of kino? (I know some...I just wnatt o get some other good ideas. [​IMG])

    Thnks

    Sean
     
  16. Cesare Cardinali

    Cesare Cardinali Master Don Juan

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    I hardly ever do it. But this needs a bump.
     
  17. Nocturnal

    Nocturnal Master Don Juan

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    THESE are the kind of clarifications people need to know when they read posts about things like kino.

    I kind of figured this out, but i thought of more as you're telling her that you're interested, which is the important part. and you're also doing it in a way that not too many guys will (she remembers it).

    for example, i see this girl in 2nd period every other day, and our association was semi friendly semi flirtatious. well the other day i did two or three things like grabbing her shoulders from behind and sliding my arms down, etc. her attitude towards me changed immediately :D.

    however, i'm in HS and i think your interpretation fits better outside of hs.

    these are the posts we need. we have all the "how to use kino" and "neg hits" etc. if no one knows the importance of them they cant be properly utilized. ie, if you dont know how to score a point in basketball, who cares how well you can dribble?
     
  18. Tripod

    Tripod Don Juan

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    Did anyone ever watch that cheesy show "Temptation Island"? I only saw part of one episode...they were introducing the bachelors, and one guy was a massage therapist. The ladies reaction to this bit of information was quite favorable as I remember, lol.
     
  19. comic_relief

    comic_relief Master Don Juan

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    I forgot the importance of Kino on women

    well deserved bump
     
  20. DJBen

    DJBen Master Don Juan

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    I started reading that and thought pook started posting again :|

    BUMP
     

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