What is a Don Juan???

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Dee-Zy, Jun 17, 2003.

  1. Dee-Zy

    Dee-Zy Master Don Juan

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    I was gonna finish it before I post it but I dont' have alot of time - so I didn't know how long it will take b4 I can finish it.

    WARNING - THIS IS VERY LONG N IS MORE TARGETED TO NEW MEMBERS

    Ok.

    I haven't been here for a while and I haven't been active for ages. Though I did notice that I'm still in the top 20 posters N sadly, the only one left from 2000. So this will be my 1 DJ post. This WILL be long N intense. I noticed that the board had taken a turn ... for the worst? I don't know. Just another direction. So I decided to write something for the community. This is targeted more to the 'newbies' N to the ones 'try'N' to become a DJ. I'm just tired of all the "I'm wonder'N about this chick - what should I do" posts that can be answered with 3 words - JUST DO IT. This might be just a refresh'N post to all of u DJs out there but if u are new to seduction N u want to become a DJ but u don't have the time to read ALL of the DJ Bible (Which is very long - I know) N u are just so confused with all the different school of thought - this is my gift to you.

    I don't know where to start. There is sooo much to only put into one post. There are thousands N thousands of post + replies concerning DJ'N N Seduction but I believe that many are falling off track.

    I will try to be as organized N precise as possible. My ideas might be scramble but I will try to find a way to put my thoughts back together. If not in this post, it will be edit'd N update'd in another one.

    One last thing - before u even start to read lower,
    u must not only be wiling to improve yourself but u must have already started to take actions for your self improvement What is following is theory, if u have not started to take action - reading this will not help u that much. It will only help u understand but not do. So u will have all the knowledge but will not be able to apply it. Do as you will...

    Let's go!

    What is a DJ? A very hard question to answer. As stated before by Pook N many great one. It is not an equation. It is not a bunch of actions you do N the results that makes u a DJ. I think the most important question is - what MAKES you a DJ, because the way I see it, BE'N A DJ - is a state of mind. If u say - "I'm a DJ! ... I KINO when I talk to women, I initiate convo with strangers, I focus the conversation on my target, I have the wildest intercourse with the most beautiful women on this Earth therefore I am a DJ". Well, ... I'm sorry to bust yo bubble - but you are NOT.' I remember it was stated by somebody on this board (Forgot who, I'd love to give credit but, sorry) When you are a DJ, everything comes smoothly to you. U just do the things such as KINO or compliment or focus the convo on the target ect. naturally. U don't even have to think about it - u JUST DO IT. Well that's not very far off. I tend to agree. The only problem is that it is too vague. That sounds like some hocus pocus shit to me. Yes there are some things that u do so often that it becomes a routine N that's why it seems realisticly possible to achieve - but in order for it to become a routine, u HAVE to do all the time. Sadly, many do not know what to do. They mainly experiment N very few will 'DJ' naturally.

    One very important question I remember ask'N when I first got on this board is. Were u always a DJ? Were u born with such great seduction skills. Young as I was, I expected alot of people say that they never really had problems with the opposite sex N I expected alot of people brag, but no. Most of the greatest DJ of all time were nice guys. guys who would get walk'd over all the time, burn'd N got their heart crushed by the 'evil man with tits'. So fear not, u are not born a DJ - u become one.

    I never believed in achieving anything easily. I was raised that taking the hardest way is the way. Shortcuts N painless routes were always 'bad' or even 'evil'. That is me though. I don't want to impose on any of you but there is one thing I do know. Thanks to my beliefs, I have come a long way (no pun intented ;)) N I have become a hard working person. I will pour my heart N soul into something because there is no other way.

    Lately I have seen alot of focus on WHAT to do on this board rather then the MENTALITY behind everything. I just feel that we do not go deep enough anymore. It is a shame that the great DJs I have encountered on this board left. I know I will remember them for the rest of my life, even if it is not by their real name, because they have helped me so much. I'll take a pause here to give a shout out to AD, my mentor - Cecil, the big brother who considered me as the 'baby brother he never had' N Adonis, my AZN brother. There are so many more but these are the 3 most influencial individuals in my life. Tomazu, Red XL, Ko-B, Hidden Danjer N others are worth mentionning too.

    ---

    If there is anything I learned from these people is that being a DJ is a state of mind N a lifestyle. U eat, breathe and live DJ'N. It shouldn't be a problem for anybody because we encounter so many ladies in just one day that it just makes sense. My philosophy is mainly based on AD's school of thoughts. There are others but this is what I believe to be the best. ESPECIALLY FOR NEWBIES.

    Before I start - ENGRAVE THIS IN YOUR HEAD:

    YOU SEEK A LADY FOR YOURSELF. YOU DO NOT SEEK TO PLEASE A LADY - FOR HER.

    Meaning that whatever u do, the girl is for you. You are not for her. SHE has to fit YOU. You do NOT have to do ANYTHING for her.

    First of all, the most important rule u MUST go by is:
    "Protect your heart at all cost".

    If u take a look at all the DJ's Tips Tricks N Tactics (Which I will call TTT from now on) it all revolves around this rule. The Interest Level Rule comes from this, the 'waiting 5 days b4 u call her' comes from this. The 'next her' rule ... u get the drift. The reason u guage a female's interest level is just that. If she has low self Interest u will just end up get'N hurt. Why would u want to get hurt anyways? She must bend left N right for u. (No pun intended) Not you. This is very important. U are not there to use C+F or any other TTT on her so u can 'seduce' her. The focus is 'How interested is she into me?'. It is 'What can she do for me' N for the more mature DJs; 'What will she bring in my life - How will she improve myself as an individual, what can I learn from her to better myself'. Here is where the 'next rule' comes in. If she is not interested enough, next. Because u WILL get hurt. I will discuss the IL rule latter but I hope u clearly understand what protecting your heart is - N how important it is. Whatever happends, u are here for yourself N only yourself. If there is anybody that will become suicidal it is you - the one who got hurt. If there is anybody who will get hurt it is you. N I don't think I need to remind u how bad it feels when u get hurt. That feeling u feel, is only felt by you and only you. Not that hot babe, or her boyfriend or her friends or your friends or the stranger on the street. When you don't protect your heart - u get hurt N that is ONLY YOU. Nobody else. That is solely the reason why u have to look out for yourself FIRST N u look out for yourself by giving priority to your heart. Nothing is more important. Although the joy of sex is greater then many on this earth, there is nothing that can make up for your hurt if your heart is not protected. It is not worth risking a divorce, or a girlfriend cheating on you, or a girl toying around with you like her personnal doll, just because you want to fuck that chick or u want a relationship with her. Why? BECAUSE YOUR HEART IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN THAT. So what, how baaaadly u want her. If she is not interested u will end up get'N hurt. Now if we flip this around, the higher the interest level, the happier u will be. Doesn't that sound pleasing? Yes, it is just like a fairy tale but the best part is, it is not fictious. It is possible to have that goddess head over heels for you. However, seduction is a nubmers game. It will take time, patience, dedication N most importantly self control N self respect.

    This brings me to the High Interest Rule. (Remeber the first rule though)

    If a female has initially a low interest in you - you next her
    If a female has initially a good level of Interest - keep her
    If a female has initially a good level of Interest but it is fallin - next her.
    If a female has a high level of Interest - keep her

    It's very simple. Basicly - u keep her as long as her interest level is high. If u see that it is fallin, don't bother - next her. (Protect your heart remember?) How to guage the level of interest? well, alot of posts/replies covers this, so I don't think it is very important to go into details but here are the basic tests.

    *post is too long - have to split in 2*
     
  2. Dee-Zy

    Dee-Zy Master Don Juan

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    Test #1 - The Number.

    *Let's just keep it at low Interest and High Interest - no middle ground just to keep it as simple as possible and to keep that heart as safe as possible*

    'What's Your Number?' Shut Up N Smile. Don't say a word. If she doesn't give it to you - she is NOT interested. Something I have to point out here, is that u must get the HOME number. If she doesn't offer her HOME number, (ie she gives u her work/cell #) Ask for the home number. If she doesn't give it to you - she is not interested. I know this is debateable but I will put everything in a black N white, yes N no, 0 N 1 matter. By give'N you her home number - u are invade'N her privacy. Would u want a stranger calling you at home? If there is anywhere in this world you should be the most safe at - it is your home sweet home. You don't want to be bothered at home N that's final. If she is willing to give her home number N aloud you to step into her privacy - she's interested. If she doesn't, she might still be interested, but not enough. Her interest level is not on HIGH. So why chase an unsure thing? There are too much out there to waste your time on uncertainties. (Protect your heart - chase the highest form of interest) Let's not focus on e-mails, work numbers or cell phones. We only want the best right? N the best is the highest form of interest. So let's focus solely on the ones who has the highest level of interest. At this stage - forget low interest or anything below HIGH interest.

    NB - I generelize pretty much everything when it comes to seduction because of Rule 1. There are always exceptions but exceptions are not worth me get'N hurt. Seduction is a game of numbers. To use the analogy of the traffic lights. Red = no, green = yes but why live in the uncertainty of the orange light that can turn red at anytime? If it's red, just turn right N get to the next green light. Then again, this is advice to mainly new DJs or to anybody who wants to become a DJ. As u mature as a DJ - things change. Just trust me for now. Why? Because I offer you a way to become a DJ not the way to how to DJ. If u don't trust me u might as well stop reading. Take it or leave it.

    Test #2 - The date call.

    Originally, it was told to wait 3 or 4 days. Why? because calling the next day is a big no no N Calling 2 days after is what the average male does. AD said 5 days. A man must be in control N to be in control, u must have a sense of self-control. Let me explain. The date is not setup on location because of many factors. First, you are too busy. You have a schedule, you are a man - you have mountains to climb N seas to cross. Setting up the date on the spot shows u have nothing to do. (Very debateable, I know - take it or leave it) Making her wait five days will raise her interest level for one N will add to the mystery factor. (Do I need to break this down too?) No chit chat on the phone. Convo is kept short from anywhere around 5 to 20 mins. Try to keep it 15mins but NEVER over 20. U are a busy man, therefore u are polite N considerate - but time is not your friend. Phone calls are to set up dates, not to talk. All conversation must be live. If she is interested she will do whatever it takes to MEET you. Putting her out of her comfort zone. coffee place vs on her bathroom bowl or on her bed. One last thing, be a man and take charge. No "What do you want to do?". "Let's go to the skating ring at 9:00 sharp, NOT AS FRIENDS". Make it clear N consice, if she was too dumb to realize you are asking her out romantically at least there is no play'N around now. She cannot play around N call the 'it was just a friendly date' card or the 'I didn't know' card. She only wants to go with a friend? Be polite N hang up. NEXT!!! The date is YOU and HER ALONE. Nobody else, no friends (please no parents :rolleyes:). Oh but she doesn't, ... NEXT!!! Anything but a 'yes' is a no. Unless it is a death in the family (even then sumtimes :rolleyes:) or a wedding. Nothing else is acceptable. If it is not a yes but she re-schedules, make sure that it is on YOUR terms. YOU take charge. YOU are a busy man with alot on your hands N SHE has to fit YOUR schedule - not the other way around. Be carefull if she wants to re-schedule, she might be ginuwine but she might also be test'N you. So don't let the table turn around too fast. If her answer is anything but a yes, yet not a no - Be polite, hang up N call her again in 7 days. This time - it is a yes or throw the number away.

    Test #3 - The first date.

    I CANNOT stress this enough. The first date should ALWAYS be an action date. Women are experts in communications. Men are not. On the other hand, men take action N women lacks expertise in this departement. If she is willing to see you again, it is because her interest level is high. Women are the best when it comes to conversate'N (For cry'N out loud, that's all they do). Take'N her out on an action date (bowling, roller blade'N, basketball, swimming ect) minimizes the talking therefore take'N her out of her comfort zone. She is no more in control - YOU are, when it's an action date. If she is willing to set herself in a disadvantage position - then she is highly interested. She's willing to put herself in a vulnerable position to be with you. Sides, if she's boring, at least you'll have fun play'N ball or bike'N. If her interest level is high - she WILL want to see you again. Furthermore, this is a rule by AD: No kiss on the first date. Not kissing her displays self control N will keep her guessing. The normal dude will kiss on the first date. U do not. This will keep her guessing (hence'N the mystery factor) N most likely mezmerize her. She will be confused N self conscious (raise'N the challenge factor). She will be question'N her 'female powers' she usually has on dicks. Raise'N her interest level. The focus in her head will be HOW to please you - not how YOU please her anymore. NEVER set up a date ON a date. Go back N read Test #2 for whys. Setting up future dates on the spot is worst then setting up dates in person. U are too busy. If she asks, u will have to get back at her for that because u have to check your agenda - u don't know when you are free yet. Dates are to have fun, not to talk business. NEVER SAY you will call her - say 'talk to you latter' at the end of the night if you will because you are not a lier for one - and two, they never believe you. If you do not say you will call, not only will it make her go nuts wether you will call or when you will call, (mystery factor) but she will never know when you WILL call (unpredictability factor).

    Those are the 3 first basic tests. Should be good enough for now. Never call the next day (duh!). Call about a week after the last date (5-7 days) N see her only once a week. (mystery + challenge factor + unpredictability + u name it). Keep this go'N on for at least a month or two basis.

    Little things such as focus'N the conversation on your target is just be'N a good conversationist but that also refrain you from talk'N. That is good because women are talkers N men are walkers. The less you say - the less u will fuck up N the less u talk - the less u will talk about yourself. Meaning boring the shit out of her, N hencing the mystery + challenge factor. (I should start using the copy paste function from now on!) Other such as KINO or compliments are great little things you can do but I will not cover those. That is not the focus - I am concentrate'N this article on more important things.

    AD preached that men do not flirt. He explained that not long ago, it was socially unacceptable for women to ask men out - therefore they had to 'display' their interest in order for the the MEN to ask them out. Men do NOT need to flirt to 'display' their interest. Asking them out already demonstrate that you are interested. Flirting is for women N a waste of time for men. Flirting is a passive action - asking their number and asking them out is an active action. Use the testosterone that was given to you (peep Pook's post for great article on testosterone). To sum it up real quick, testosterone is the drive to action N risk. Flirting is a way much less risky action then to actually step N walk up N ask for the number or the date. Women cannot do this because not only is it not in their nature, they are biologically disavantaged. If a girl has more balls then u N she ends up ask'N YOU out instead of the opposite - Go take a manhood test. Maybe your balls need to be checked. U do not flirt but u do not beat around the bush either. Don't make any excuses for yourself. U see her N she interests u. 'What's your number?' It can be in the middle of a conversation:

    "My hair hurts"
    "What's your number"

    "It's such a shitty day today"
    "What's your number"

    "My boyfriend is gonna pick me up"
    "What's your number?

    Be smart though. There are things u just can't do like ask'N the number before even asking for the name. It might work N might even impress alot of ladies but just use your common sense. As long as you don't beat around the bush. U cannot flirt so the longer u take - the smaller the odds are that you will get that number. (30s rule applies here)

    fuck ... still too long - gotta split it into 3*
    :mad:
     
  3. Dee-Zy

    Dee-Zy Master Don Juan

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    This was supposed to cover more the HOW then the WHAT. Depicte'N the mentality behind DJ'N rather then the TTT. All that confidence talk is great. U can't do shit without it but if you are able to focus on these 3 tests without waste'N time - it will display confidence by itself N the more u will do it, the more confident u will eventually become.

    U just do it because you want to. It couldn't be more simple then that. It doesn't matter if she is interested or she hates you. BECAUSE you want her u take the necessary steps to. It is only YOU interest that matters. Forget reading females - you'll never be able. Stop wonder'N "Does she like me? She did this - she did that, that must mean this - that must mean that'. Shut up. Do u like her? no? then look at somebody you are. yes? then say hi N ask for her name. If u don't do this, the novel I wrote up there is pointless. This is the first step to take. Focus on your interest, your desire, WHAT YOU WANT. Forget anything else. U are here for yourself right? If someone will get hurt - U will be the one in pain, not your friend, your girl or that stranger on the corner. So do yourself a favor, litterally, N help yourself. I want her - so I go for her. Go at her like you've never done before.

    So there u have it. Is this article finished? No. I will have to read it again, edit it N re-edit it N update it but for now - I'm too tired N I'm off to bed. I originally wanted to type it up completely before I post it, but I think there are individuals out there that might need it now. Not latter.

    GHOST

    *updated and re-edited version to follow*
     
  4. whatsupwiddat

    whatsupwiddat Master Don Juan

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    Your 'do not kiss ion first date'... you said it affects the powers they have over males by keeping them guessing.

    How can this be applied to high school girls, in which the new breed can be stereotyped as having low confidence and not used to have men all over them? Such as freshmen for example, with no guy experience?

    The thought stumbled upon me, so I thought I'd ask.

    Aside from that, your post was difficult to read because of one reasN. That's why, but the quality was superb. :)
     
  5. Dee-Zy

    Dee-Zy Master Don Juan

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    What does it matter if it's a high school girl or an old lady pass'd her menopause? She will only think u have low self-confidence if she feels that u do. If she doesn't sense it, she will be question'N herself - not u. If the date was fun, light N u took control the WHOLE time (What u should be do'N anyways) she will be confused. It doesn't matter if she has experience or not. Girls have been hear'N about that 'first kiss on a date' thing since they were 11. Do u think she's not looking foward to that 'kiss' everybody talks about?

    Sides, u should never focus on what SHE thinks. That's was alot about what this thread was about. Forget what she's think'N cuz truth is, u'll never know - not only that, u'll never understand even if u DO get to know. Just that alone ... answers your question. Focus on u, period.
     
  6. Drex

    Drex Master Don Juan

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    How did this thread fall off the first page? Great info, thanks for the post.
     
  7. Oscar Wilde

    Oscar Wilde Master Don Juan

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    While I disagree with several points, the post as a whole is bang on target and correct. Nice work Dee-Zy!

    What do I disagree with?

    - Home numbers.

    This may be an American thing. I don't even have a land-line at home, and I certainly do not spend enough time at home to be able to answer it! My cell is the way I've been contactable for the last 8 years, and if a girl chooses to give me hers then that's cool. If she's going to use her cell to flake off, well the IL was too low anyway.

    - The first date should ALWAYS be an action date. Women are experts in communications. Men are not.

    Ok, I disagree with all of that. I think action dates are great, but 1st Date doesnt ALWAYS have to be one. Especially not for the reason you've given! Because I think that ...

    Women are much worse communicators than men, hundreds of times over. I think this is a myth, and cannot understand it.

    <-> Guys say what they mean and women interpret it in several different ways, all incorrect.
    <-> Women don't say what they mean, but men interpret it just like they said it.

    Yes, ok, so I've just given you an argument to prove that action dates are better, but I think this is just one of those "Do what your gut tells you" decisions.

    Personally I'm a very good communicator (btw learned, not innate), so I love dates in the bar where I can talk. Which brings me onto the final thing I disagree with:

    - Guys shouldn't flirt.

    Ok, I'm not sure where to start on this one - I disagree completely! It's vital, it's fun, and it can get girls very hot. Something like 70 or 80% of communication is body language anyway (rest:15% being tone of voice, and 5% being the actual words spoken). So hey, flirting is important to me.

    Now to any newbies reading, forget all my arguments above, and reread DZ's post, cos it is golden. I'm just here to mention that "Rules are made to be broken". Only make sure that you know what rules we're talking about before you go breaking them!

    Some of DZs most important points are worth re-iterating:

    "Just do it" aka "sh!t or get off the pot" :)
    It's about self-improvement (not women).

    Be cool.
    Oscar.
     
  8. Dee-Zy

    Dee-Zy Master Don Juan

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    Of course - N I completely agree with you, but to become a DJ you absolutely need rules. Latter on when u get a better feel of the game, THEN you can break them off. What was given up there is to maximize your DJ'N.

    First you learn the rules - then you adapt them. After read'N many posts up here I'd say more then half of the answer seeking posters are not at the 'adaptation' level yet.

    Although about the home number, it's a personnal experience thing. I know I give away my cell number N once I did the mistake of calling a girl from home and since then she calls me at home and it REALLY bothers me. Feels like she's invade'N my space. It's weird, dunno how to explain it.

    I stand by the action date though. It is one of the best way to raise a girl's IL and test it at the same time.

    The male flirting is very debateable but for newbies this is a big help NOT to. Because the problem they will encounter is 'trying' to read the target N will get confused N paranoid/stress which will destroy their game N self confidence.

    Keep the reaplies coming - this information NEEDS to be spread.
     
  9. Anson

    Anson Master Don Juan

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    Rules are ment to be broken if and when you reach the state where you know that breaking the rules will be better for you than following them. Usually everyone reaches that level at some point, because humen are individual and the same rules (like DJ rules) simply can't apply to everyone. But for newbies, these rules should be followed at first, so they can later decide which rules are good for them and which rules simply prevent them from achieving their highest possible performance.
     
  10. Anson

    Anson Master Don Juan

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    I agree with this, this was the first rule I started breaking. And it propably is an American thing - but I haven't got a single call to my home number ever since I got my cellular phone. And in Finland (as well as other northern European countries) basically everyone over 15 has a cellular phone (in my class, everyone used to laugh to this poor guy who couldn't by a cell phone until he was 17). If someone went "gimme your home phone number" to me, I'd prolly consider them some sort of left-outs - and that's why I don't ask it, either.
     
  11. Dee-Zy

    Dee-Zy Master Don Juan

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    ^^^
     
  12. Oscar Wilde

    Oscar Wilde Master Don Juan

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    I'll give this a bump while criticising some peoples concept of DJism (and possibly your post again DZ).

    I've been thinking about whether I'll become exclusive with my latest chick and it's crossed my mind that the reasons I'm thinking about doing it for are quite un-DJ like.

    I like the girl, she's pretty, and pretty damn cool too. I'm not sayin' she's rockin' my world mind you, but I'm very "comfortable" hanging with her. It's good timing too cos I feel like a break from the whole PU scene for a while (been at it 4 months now since LTR). And I feel happy with it, even though I think it won't last forever (cos she knows that too).

    I think my current philosophy is very un-DJ like by certain standards here, but fsck it, I'll be a DJ when it suits me, and enjoy this when it doesn't.

    Apologies for the ramble...
    Osc.
     
  13. Dee-Zy

    Dee-Zy Master Don Juan

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    I don't see what's so 'un-DJ' like of it...

    just remember one thing: "Protect Your Heart"
     
  14. LikRetsam

    LikRetsam Master Don Juan

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    Good post.

    I truly disagree with alot of your statements but as you said, they are for nubs and not more advanced people.

    Just to add that you should remember that when you are doubting a rule, go with your gut feeling. Even learning you should base yourself on the rules, not follow them to the letter. Example?

    The chick you wanna ask to a date is wild and outgoing. You think you're gonna invite her to a movie instead of skiing?
    or the contrary.

    There are alot of chicks out there. Pretty soon they will be flocking to you. Trust me. Just remember that in this game you will come across gorgeous chicks and some not so gorgeous. some that are dating material, some that arn't etc.

    Know when to go for her as a girlfriend or as just a friend and so forth.

    Lik
     
  15. AETude

    AETude Don Juan

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    as a noobie to this forum, i've found the info very useful.
    i've just used it about 30 mins ago. instead of i'll call you. i said "talk to you later, babe" and left.

    i can tell by her face she was abit puzzled. i felt good :D

    this is my first post, i've been doing alot of reading mainly WMS, and how to use the forums etc. pretty new to all of these.

    i can see i have alot of learn because everything everyone said so far is somehow connected to me. very strange but i like it.
    i am here to improve myself and my lifestyle so far this thread already helped, just a touch :)

    cheers,

    btw i still can;t work out what C&F means :confused:
     
  16. B-Lemond

    B-Lemond Master Don Juan

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    :down:

    Takes wayyyyyyyyy too long to get to the point.

    As well as the "N" instead of "and"/"ing" was really annoying.
     
  17. THE_ADDMAN

    THE_ADDMAN Master Don Juan

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    good advice, and you're right, DJ is BEING, not DOING

    as such, kiss her on the first date if you want to, and shes interested. the problem is not the first kiss, it is HOW the first kiss takes place. dont wait till the end of the night on her doorstep for the goodnight peck, shes expecting that. make your kiss more memorable and emotional. I remember reading in a magazine that women are bored silly of the "goodnight kiss", and long for the days of the school dance where her date would push her up against the locker and lay one on her. so whatever you do, make your first kiss INTERESTING (pushing against lockers is optional)
     
  18. Dan08

    Dan08 Senior Don Juan

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    I just want to bump this all of the way back up to the top of SS as I think it is pure gold and if you're new to the boards or just re-reading the bible like myself then this to me sums it all up and I am constantly trying to ingrain this mentality into myself.
     

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