The_Reaper
Senior Don Juan
I am on a study-abroad program, where I met my girlfriend about 2 months ago. We met about 2 weeks after she first arrived.
She is from Russia and was unsure about some things when she came here first, and she met a guy (30 years old from Iran) who was very helpful to her, such as in opening a college computer account, setting up a bank account, helping her set up her own computer in her room, getting settled in, etc.
He is in a position to offer to advice on her masters degree and phd, because they do similiar topics and follow similar academic routes. He has lent her books that are essential to her course, which are still in her room.
He helped her with all of this, and now, no surprise, he expects more than just friendship from her. He feels that he deserves her for all that he has done. The girlfriend has no feelings for him. But they stay in touch, for the reasons I have listed above. She wants to remain friends with him.
2 months later (now):
Yesterday she came to my room looking stressed and worn out. It took a while, but she started to tell me that she just had a long conversation with him, telling him that she is with me and does not want anything more than to be friends with him. He asked her to choose between me and him.
Now, last night we were going to bed late (around 3.30) and we were in the kitchen. There is a large window, and it happens that his room is directly opposite the window (at a distance). He was looking in at the two of us, and my girlfriend was eating an apple. About 15 minutes later, just before she was about to get into bed beside me, she got a text message from him.
He wrote:
"So, making a decision takes some calories? (i.e. the apple). I am still awake."
We talked about it for hours. All the time, I kept my anger hidden. Something I should add: I will be flying home in 3 weeks and she will be staying here for another college term - and so will 30-yr old Iran man. I think our relationship will end when i fly home (for reasons that has nothing to do with her as a person or anyone else).
I have two further questions: I told her to cut him out of her life completely. Is this the right idea? And also, should I bring this up when I talk to her, or should I let her sort it out herself and say nothing?
Cliff notes:
1. Gf and her stalker are still talking
2. He expects more than friendship, told her to choose between me and him
3. Gf is upset, but has no desire to be more than friends with him.
4. Should she cut him out of her life?
She is from Russia and was unsure about some things when she came here first, and she met a guy (30 years old from Iran) who was very helpful to her, such as in opening a college computer account, setting up a bank account, helping her set up her own computer in her room, getting settled in, etc.
He is in a position to offer to advice on her masters degree and phd, because they do similiar topics and follow similar academic routes. He has lent her books that are essential to her course, which are still in her room.
He helped her with all of this, and now, no surprise, he expects more than just friendship from her. He feels that he deserves her for all that he has done. The girlfriend has no feelings for him. But they stay in touch, for the reasons I have listed above. She wants to remain friends with him.
2 months later (now):
Yesterday she came to my room looking stressed and worn out. It took a while, but she started to tell me that she just had a long conversation with him, telling him that she is with me and does not want anything more than to be friends with him. He asked her to choose between me and him.
Now, last night we were going to bed late (around 3.30) and we were in the kitchen. There is a large window, and it happens that his room is directly opposite the window (at a distance). He was looking in at the two of us, and my girlfriend was eating an apple. About 15 minutes later, just before she was about to get into bed beside me, she got a text message from him.
He wrote:
"So, making a decision takes some calories? (i.e. the apple). I am still awake."
We talked about it for hours. All the time, I kept my anger hidden. Something I should add: I will be flying home in 3 weeks and she will be staying here for another college term - and so will 30-yr old Iran man. I think our relationship will end when i fly home (for reasons that has nothing to do with her as a person or anyone else).
I have two further questions: I told her to cut him out of her life completely. Is this the right idea? And also, should I bring this up when I talk to her, or should I let her sort it out herself and say nothing?
Cliff notes:
1. Gf and her stalker are still talking
2. He expects more than friendship, told her to choose between me and him
3. Gf is upset, but has no desire to be more than friends with him.
4. Should she cut him out of her life?
