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Western dudes with Far East girls

Fruitbat

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hi,

Staying with my girls family.

I have been treated higher than royalty, I’ve never experienced this from anyone!

While this is good, it’s actually starting to embarrass me. They are reluctant to let me even change my pounds and insist on paying for everything.

They are wealthy but I have a new wardrobe and won’t let me pay for anything, even my own stuff.

Is this normal? I am very embarrassed as I am 35 and fairly wealthy. I feel like a cheapskate and it’s actually caused arguments.

I feel completely dependent, and reluctant to buy anything, as I feel like a kid asking for pocket money!

Any experience or knowledge appreciated

Thanks
 

samspade

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This is a different culture altogether, but I was married to a Brazilian for a while, and her family was more than generous with me in spite of the disparity in economies. They treated me really well. Her nephew had some money but the rest were fairly poor by U.S. standards but still they made me feel like royalty. I think a lot of cultures subscribe to the "good host" mentality and Americans (not sure about UK) do not....it's like people with less give more.

If I were you, find ONE thing you can pay for (a dinner or night out) and insist, as a way of saying "thank you" for the hospitality.
 

logicallefty

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Great post, OP. Nearly all of the parents of women I have dated have been civil to me, but I wouldn't say respectful as in your case. Many of them when they found out I had a tech background all they wanted me to do was work on their computers. I'd be at their house and get a nice dinner but then I'd have to spend the next 3-4 hours working on their computer crap and felt guilty saying no because I was too beta at the time. This was pre 2007 when I started to swallow the red pill. The last time this happened was in 2015 and I did say no and it felt damn good and life went on. The time before that was in 2011 and I said no and ended up in a HUGE fight with the GF over it. In your case OP it sounds like everything was genuine and thats awesome.
 

Fruitbat

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Great post, OP. Nearly all of the parents of women I have dated have been civil to me, but I wouldn't say respectful as in your case. Many of them when they found out I had a tech background all they wanted me to do was work on their computers. I'd be at their house and get a nice dinner but then I'd have to spend the next 3-4 hours working on their computer crap and felt guilty saying no because I was too beta at the time. This was pre 2007 when I started to swallow the red pill. The last time this happened was in 2015 and I did say no and it felt damn good and life went on. The time before that was in 2011 and I said no and ended up in a HUGE fight with the GF over it. In your case OP it sounds like everything was genuine and thats awesome.

We’re they far eastern families
 

Fruitbat

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Actually starting to get annoying.

Breakfast: massive meal, more than a days worth of food. Nobody asks me what I want, just a massive feast of food I don’t really like and being forced to eat loads of it. Plus, if I don’t like it, it seems like I just took a dump on the carpet.

2.5 hours later and another enormous feast with loads of food I don’t like, again nobody asks what I like. It’s almost assumed there’s somethinG wrong with me for not eating snails or hedgehog or some gross beef paste thing.

Some of it is nice, but this cultural difference is annoying
 

Fruitbat

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All my clothes washed, even the dry cleaned ones which are now fooked. Goodbye expensive wool coat.

Got to be honest, to any men dating Asian women, be warned you are literally their parents children.

Going to be hard dealing with this, because personal boundaries and independence are not respected like in the West, stuff just gets done for you. However, the plus side is you are treated like a king but it’s hard work being obsessively fed,
Not being consulted on jack sh1t and having your clothes washed every 5 mins.
 

logicallefty

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mrgoodstuff

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This is a different culture altogether, but I was married to a Brazilian for a while, and her family was more than generous with me in spite of the disparity in economies. They treated me really well. Her nephew had some money but the rest were fairly poor by U.S. standards but still they made me feel like royalty. I think a lot of cultures subscribe to the "good host" mentality and Americans (not sure about UK) do not....it's like people with less give more.

If I were you, find ONE thing you can pay for (a dinner or night out) and insist, as a way of saying "thank you" for the hospitality.
I knew a woman who went from the typical battleaxe from our side, and swapped ti a beautiful feminine Brazilian. He said it made a huge increase in his life. My stereotype is they take pride in treating their men well.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I knew a woman who went from the typical battleaxe from our side, and swapped ti a beautiful feminine Brazilian. He said it made a huge increase in his life. My stereotype is they take pride in treating their men well.
I knew a man... He dared speak about it to other Americans because he knew he'd get attacked. His new Brazilian wife made him lunch for work, greeted him when he returned home, she put him in a good light with her family and friends and fvcked and svcked him often. The previous relationship was a typical ball busting "hot girl". She wouldn't help him in any way and the relationship devolved into a sexless one.
 
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