As has been said by great men before me: 'A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks'
This brings me on to the negative thought processes of the AFC. The man who believes he is just no good and will never have a woman. It is one thing to be rejected by a woman, as happens to us all, it is another thing entirely to let rejection permeate your soul and affect you deeply.
I remember back in my AFC days I got rejected HARD, by not one, but 3 girls (doh) before I learned. My AFC thoughts were 'warped' and I now know a better way. So without further ado, we will start with girl 1, we will call her Zoe.
Zoe was hot and in my school year. At the time I had zero self-esteem, and Zoe was one of the cool kids, so what did I do? I tried to win Zoe
Well, you can guess how that turned out, I got rejected and it crushed me. For if only I had corrected my thinking by changing my beliefs, as it all starts with belief.
I had self-doubt and then compounded this doubt with my belief, it then became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Self-doubt: Am I good enough to have a woman?
Warpy thought: I am not good enough to have a woman, I should write her sonnet's, send her flowers and give her a grandiose declaration of my love. If I'm lucky I might just be enough for her.
Correct thought: Is there any evidence to show that I'm not good enough? I'm doing well in school, come from a good family and in good shape. In fact, looking at this in all reality, I'm a good catch.
After crashing and burning in full public view with Zoe, I realized that it in all reality I was a good catch, so with bounds of confidence I moved onto girl 2: Jess.
This time round I was over eager, I was desperate to prove that I was a great catch and show that I was over my doubts. This blinded me from the fact that Jess was not interested in me at all and led again to a resounding rejection in full public view.
Self-doubt: Desperation for validation.
Warpy thought: If I'm a great catch, why doesn't this girl like me?
Correct thought: Does one girl not being interested mean I'm worthless? Does it mean I'm not a great catch? No, it means I'm losing out on a lot of other interested girls by focussing on just one.
See, since Zoe, I had gained confidence and in turn had attracted some girls. Because I had the fatal disease of oneitis I focussed exclusively on Jess, despite her clear signs of disinterest.
I had become determined that if I could just get Jess, then it would validate the claim that I was actually a great catch.
Becoming a Don Juan begins with belief, backed up by congruent action.
A Don Juan does not focus on one girl, he knows he is a great catch and simply discards uninterested women. He is looking for the girl who suits his needs the best.
I was soon talking to a lot of girls and seemed to be drumming up interest. I had my eye on one girl, in particular, Alex. I would have a laugh with these girls and be cheeky, but I had one key obstacle to overcome.
Self-doubt: Scared of my own sexuality
Warpy thought: Why would a girl want to sleep with me? I've never done it before so I mustn't be any good at it.
Correct thought: I am seeking a woman to please me as much as I am her. I am a man with testosterone, I will not apologize for my desires.
I actually asked Alex out over messenger and got rejected. I tried to make the approach as risk-free as possible. I wasn't acting like a man. I had no conviction when it came down to the crunch.
A man is not afraid of his own desires and is unapologetic in attempting to achieve his goal.
Correcting negative thought patterns is a critical aspect of becoming a DJ.
There is nothing wrong with having negative thoughts, even the most seasoned DJ will have them. It is how you react that is important?
Try and find evidence to support/deny your claim. If you can, then fix whatever needs fixing. If you can't, then negativity becomes positivity.
This brings me on to the negative thought processes of the AFC. The man who believes he is just no good and will never have a woman. It is one thing to be rejected by a woman, as happens to us all, it is another thing entirely to let rejection permeate your soul and affect you deeply.
I remember back in my AFC days I got rejected HARD, by not one, but 3 girls (doh) before I learned. My AFC thoughts were 'warped' and I now know a better way. So without further ado, we will start with girl 1, we will call her Zoe.
Zoe was hot and in my school year. At the time I had zero self-esteem, and Zoe was one of the cool kids, so what did I do? I tried to win Zoe
Well, you can guess how that turned out, I got rejected and it crushed me. For if only I had corrected my thinking by changing my beliefs, as it all starts with belief.
I had self-doubt and then compounded this doubt with my belief, it then became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Self-doubt: Am I good enough to have a woman?
Warpy thought: I am not good enough to have a woman, I should write her sonnet's, send her flowers and give her a grandiose declaration of my love. If I'm lucky I might just be enough for her.
Correct thought: Is there any evidence to show that I'm not good enough? I'm doing well in school, come from a good family and in good shape. In fact, looking at this in all reality, I'm a good catch.
After crashing and burning in full public view with Zoe, I realized that it in all reality I was a good catch, so with bounds of confidence I moved onto girl 2: Jess.
This time round I was over eager, I was desperate to prove that I was a great catch and show that I was over my doubts. This blinded me from the fact that Jess was not interested in me at all and led again to a resounding rejection in full public view.
Self-doubt: Desperation for validation.
Warpy thought: If I'm a great catch, why doesn't this girl like me?
Correct thought: Does one girl not being interested mean I'm worthless? Does it mean I'm not a great catch? No, it means I'm losing out on a lot of other interested girls by focussing on just one.
See, since Zoe, I had gained confidence and in turn had attracted some girls. Because I had the fatal disease of oneitis I focussed exclusively on Jess, despite her clear signs of disinterest.
I had become determined that if I could just get Jess, then it would validate the claim that I was actually a great catch.
Becoming a Don Juan begins with belief, backed up by congruent action.
A Don Juan does not focus on one girl, he knows he is a great catch and simply discards uninterested women. He is looking for the girl who suits his needs the best.
I was soon talking to a lot of girls and seemed to be drumming up interest. I had my eye on one girl, in particular, Alex. I would have a laugh with these girls and be cheeky, but I had one key obstacle to overcome.
Self-doubt: Scared of my own sexuality
Warpy thought: Why would a girl want to sleep with me? I've never done it before so I mustn't be any good at it.
Correct thought: I am seeking a woman to please me as much as I am her. I am a man with testosterone, I will not apologize for my desires.
I actually asked Alex out over messenger and got rejected. I tried to make the approach as risk-free as possible. I wasn't acting like a man. I had no conviction when it came down to the crunch.
A man is not afraid of his own desires and is unapologetic in attempting to achieve his goal.
Correcting negative thought patterns is a critical aspect of becoming a DJ.
There is nothing wrong with having negative thoughts, even the most seasoned DJ will have them. It is how you react that is important?
Try and find evidence to support/deny your claim. If you can, then fix whatever needs fixing. If you can't, then negativity becomes positivity.
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