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Venting about the future

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
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Right now, I'm getting the last things done in order to go to university in autumn for engineering. It took me until now to start setting my life on the track that I thought I was going to be on when I was 16 and just starting the equivalent of high school in my country. Ages 0-6, and most of 14-16, have basically been the only peaceful years of my life.

So right now I've got low LMS - I've got looks down, but neither money nor status. And it's got me thinking about the future with women.

I feel increasingly bitter about "commitment" looking forward, and looking past at my experiences and interactions with women. I feel like the older I get, the more I think about it, and the more productive things I make a routine of in my life that raise my "value", the more I feel like commitment is a siren's call so to speak. You think you're getting something great, but it's a misdirection.

You deal with your mental demons. You put in the hours every week in the gym for years. You spend years studying. And then you work your @ss off getting established in your career. Now you've got the money and status - for what? So you can commit to some instagram and tinder girl on her downward slope who wouldn't give a sh!t about you if it weren't for your value and mainly just looking to cash in on your accomplishments, who never had to bust @ss for human contact throughout her life like you did and do, and who can turn on you at a moment's notice for any myriad of irrational or uncontrollable reasons?

She doesn't really love you anyway.

She's pining over Jack the tattooed mack daddy who dumped her years ago when she was still "exploring". I've seen it myself. Even if you are first in her life right now, you are just a bench-warmer in her fantasy. Her heart is not yours. Today, there is no way that you won't be second fiddle to her past experiences screwing around with pro athletes, small time celebrities, local mack daddies, or whatever else. I've seen first hand how women don't even need to like, let alone love you, to be "together" with you. Even if she doesn't eventually ruin your life, even if she doesn't turn into a harpy hag - you are ultimately just a convenience to her, a prized security that she is supposed to be entitled to when she feels ready for it anyway.

She doesn't give her heart to you. So why should you give your commitment to her?

_______________________________

What used to keep a damper on those thoughts was that I saw myself having kids eventually, and the only way to do that is to be a father to them which requires a family and thus commitment. I don't want to consciously repeat what happened to me in that regard. But my resentment over my future "fate" is starting to boil over. I don't want to work my @ss off over the next 5-10 years just to become some two-faced alpha widow's happy idiot with my brain plugged into the Matrix.

Please share how you feel about these things. I wanna hear from you guys who have been in the game for a while and are in your 30s, 40s and over. What are your thoughts about this?
 
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Mazer

Master Don Juan
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It is all a bit depressing isnt it. I am turning 40 next week and for the first time in my life, I am realizing that the chances of me finding someone with quality to marry and have children with are close to zilch. I always considered myself to be a great catch, settling down with a good honest women and have a couple of kids. There aren't any good women left.I have dated 50+ women in the last 16 months, some ghosted me, some were too needy. I am not sure what the average number of women guys date before finding someone worthy, but 50 women is a ton of women and still no luck.

I have married friends whose wives cheated on them, the sweetest women you will ever meet. I will never understand. Loyalty is hard to come by these days. Even if you are a high value male, you will eventually be replaced with the next best thing.
 

Soflobro#2

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
111
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Age
37
Right now, I'm getting the last things done in order to go to university in autumn for engineering. It took me until now to start setting my life on the track that I thought I was going to be on when I was 16 and just starting the equivalent of high school in my country. Ages 0-6, and most of 14-16, have basically been the only peaceful years of my life.

So right now I've got low LMS - I've got looks down, but neither money nor status. And it's got me thinking about the future with women.

I feel increasingly bitter about "commitment" looking forward, and looking past at my experiences and interactions with women. I feel like the older I get, the more I think about it, and the more productive things I make a routine of in my life that raise my "value", the more I feel like commitment is a siren's call so to speak. You think you're getting something great, but it's a misdirection.

You deal with your mental demons. You put in the hours every week in the gym for years. You spend years studying. And then you work your @ss off getting established in your career. Now you've got the money and status - for what? So you can commit to some instagram and tinder girl on her downward slope who wouldn't give a sh!t about you if it weren't for your value and mainly just looking to cash in on your accomplishments, who never had to bust @ss for human contact throughout her life like you did and do, and who can turn on you at a moment's notice for any myriad of irrational or uncontrollable reasons?

She doesn't really love you anyway.

She's pining over Jack the tattooed mack daddy who dumped her years ago when she was still "exploring". I've seen it myself. Even if you are first in her life right now, you are just a bench-warmer in her fantasy. Her heart is not yours. Today, there is no way that you won't be second fiddle to her past experiences screwing around with pro athletes, small time celebrities, local mack daddies, or whatever else. I've seen first hand how women don't even need to like, let alone love you, to be "together" with you. Even if she doesn't eventually ruin your life, even if she doesn't turn into a harpy hag - you are ultimately just a convenience to her, a prized security that she is supposed to be entitled to when she feels ready for it anyway.

She doesn't give her heart to you. So why should you give your commitment to her?

_______________________________

What used to keep a damper on those thoughts was that I saw myself having kids eventually, and the only way to do that is to be a father to them which requires a family and thus commitment. I don't want to consciously repeat what happened to me in that regard. But my resentment over my future "fate" is starting to boil over. I don't want to work my @ss off over the next 5-10 years just to become some two-faced alpha widow's happy idiot with my brain plugged into the Matrix.

Please share how you feel about these things. I wanna hear from you guys who have been in the game for a while and are in your 30s, 40s and over. What are your thoughts about this?
Decent women make HORRIBLE choices in men they choose to have relationships with.
 

Soflobro#2

Banned
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
111
Reaction score
38
Age
37
Right now, I'm getting the last things done in order to go to university in autumn for engineering. It took me until now to start setting my life on the track that I thought I was going to be on when I was 16 and just starting the equivalent of high school in my country. Ages 0-6, and most of 14-16, have basically been the only peaceful years of my life.

So right now I've got low LMS - I've got looks down, but neither money nor status. And it's got me thinking about the future with women.

I feel increasingly bitter about "commitment" looking forward, and looking past at my experiences and interactions with women. I feel like the older I get, the more I think about it, and the more productive things I make a routine of in my life that raise my "value", the more I feel like commitment is a siren's call so to speak. You think you're getting something great, but it's a misdirection.

You deal with your mental demons. You put in the hours every week in the gym for years. You spend years studying. And then you work your @ss off getting established in your career. Now you've got the money and status - for what? So you can commit to some instagram and tinder girl on her downward slope who wouldn't give a sh!t about you if it weren't for your value and mainly just looking to cash in on your accomplishments, who never had to bust @ss for human contact throughout her life like you did and do, and who can turn on you at a moment's notice for any myriad of irrational or uncontrollable reasons?

She doesn't really love you anyway.

She's pining over Jack the tattooed mack daddy who dumped her years ago when she was still "exploring". I've seen it myself. Even if you are first in her life right now, you are just a bench-warmer in her fantasy. Her heart is not yours. Today, there is no way that you won't be second fiddle to her past experiences screwing around with pro athletes, small time celebrities, local mack daddies, or whatever else. I've seen first hand how women don't even need to like, let alone love you, to be "together" with you. Even if she doesn't eventually ruin your life, even if she doesn't turn into a harpy hag - you are ultimately just a convenience to her, a prized security that she is supposed to be entitled to when she feels ready for it anyway.

She doesn't give her heart to you. So why should you give your commitment to her?

_______________________________

What used to keep a damper on those thoughts was that I saw myself having kids eventually, and the only way to do that is to be a father to them which requires a family and thus commitment. I don't want to consciously repeat what happened to me in that regard. But my resentment over my future "fate" is starting to boil over. I don't want to work my @ss off over the next 5-10 years just to become some two-faced alpha widow's happy idiot with my brain plugged into the Matrix.

Please share how you feel about these things. I wanna hear from you guys who have been in the game for a while and are in your 30s, 40s and over. What are your thoughts about this?
Maybe try to find wallflower type of girl. She will have an education, hobbies, doesn't smoke, (drinks rarely), doesn't use drugs. They're out there.

I know because i wad living off of them drinking, sometimes doing drugs (nothing to crazy) all while for some reason, they thought they could fix and ot change me. Usually i got worse. Except for my last one
 

Soflobro#2

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Try dating boring a$$ Asian women who are already in the west in college. They tend to be pretty humble and they will make it easy for you as long as you act a speak properly. By act and speak properly i mean like a man. It helps if you have not much shame and feel comfortable talking about yourself in good and bad lights.

But these things are what worked for me in the past.
 
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Smartone84

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
299
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You put in the hours every week in the gym for years. You spend years studying. And then you work your @ss off getting established in your career. Now you've got the money and status - for what? So you can commit to some instagram and tinder girl on her downward slope who wouldn't give a sh!t about you if it weren't for your value and mainly just looking to cash in on your accomplishments, who never had to bust @ss for human contact throughout her life like you did and do, and who can turn on you at a moment's notice for any myriad of irrational or uncontrollable reasons?

She doesn't really love you anyway.
This is depression speaking, I'm sure. I've been there. I've been to the absolute darkest corner of the dating world and have come out of it a better man. I'm still not perfect and still have work to do but I can tell you that your attitude is only going to bring you the hell down. Sounds cliche' I know, but it's true. If you're in the United States I agree that the quality of women has gone downhill in a drastic way in the last 20 years or so (@R.U.G.) made a great point about why. But right now you need to understand that while its difficult, there are some decent women out there. I have a friend who just got married and she's a great gal. Although she wasn't born in the US. Came here when she was 10. Grew up in a super conservative Italian home. Go figure. You just have to put yourself in a position to get yourself out there, whether it be online dating or just getting out of the house.

It is all a bit depressing isnt it. I am turning 40 next week and for the first time in my life, I am realizing that the chances of me finding someone with quality to marry and have children with are close to zilch. I always considered myself to be a great catch, settling down with a good honest women and have a couple of kids. There aren't any good women left.I have dated 50+ women in the last 16 months, some ghosted me, some were too needy. I am not sure what the average number of women guys date before finding someone worthy, but 50 women is a ton of women and still no luck.

I have married friends whose wives cheated on them, the sweetest women you will ever meet. I will never understand. Loyalty is hard to come by these days. Even if you are a high value male, you will eventually be replaced with the next best thing.
Care to elaborate on your story or your approach to finding women a little bit? Certainly at 40 you must have had a couple of quality LTR's.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
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It is all a bit depressing isnt it. I am turning 40 next week and for the first time in my life, I am realizing that the chances of me finding someone with quality to marry and have children with are close to zilch.
It's never been easier at 40+.

You still date hot women in their 20s;
You have more money;
You have greater status;
You have a sick pad;
You have all the toys;
If you were handsome in your 20s, you are dangerously handsome in your 40s;
You are established in your career;
You are established in your investments;
You have wisdom and game;
You had 20+ years to build a great physique;
You have learned charisma, confidence, and debonnaire.

You want to marry, you can.
You want to have children, you can.
You want neither, you can.
 

Soflobro#2

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Properly as in, masculine and attractive.
You still date hot women in their 20s;
You have more money;
You have greater status;
You have a sick pad;
You have all the toys;
If you were handsome in your 20s, you are dangerously handsome in your 40s;
You are established in your career;
You are established in your investments;
You have wisdom and game;
You had 20+ years to build a great physique;
You have learned charisma, confidence, and debonnaire.

You want to marry, you can.
You want to have children, you can.
You want neither, you can.
He's right and this is all in your mind. 99% of the time is your own perspective that either holds you back or drives you forward.

Besides op, don't worry about things you can't change. Accept that this is just how it is, and deal with it.

Just if you want get into a relationship. Enjoy it while you can ans expect it to not work out. Do this a few times and see what happens.
 

Milano

Senior Don Juan
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Oh yes this toxic downward spiral is depressing alright.

Realize that the cause of this mental pain occurs when you want reality to be something it is not. You need to reboot, find pleasure in things that are REAL.
 

R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
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Work on yourself first. If you do not like you, why would any one else like you? You know, they say misery loves company. Why would you want to attract another person who's also miserable? So you can be miserable together? Listen, I've been there. I've given women the chance and extend olive branches, no luck. With regret, women in their mid-30's and on have had so much c0ck run through them, they cannot bond (this is fact.) You need to find something positive about you and expand on that. Positive outlook on life and you will eventually attract positive people. You need to stay positive? How? Easy. WORK ON YOURSELF. While you may think this is easy, it isn't. You need to setup a diet plan, an exercise plan and get some hobbies. As an ex once told me, YOU DO YOU. She was right on that (miss her t!ts :'p)

Eat right. Cut the chemicals and the crap in your foods. If it didn't come from the ground or an animal, skip it. If it is processed, skip it. This will take time, but anything worth doing in life is hard and a struggle. Candy, gone. Learn to cook for yourself. Workout like a religion. Find hobbies. These things will release endorphins within your brain and you will gradually start to turn around to more positive thinking. We've all been there man. You just need to pull yourself up from the bootstraps and stiffen that upper lip.

You can do it if you want it enough. Only you can change your mental being and way of thinking.
 
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