Flabbergasped?
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 14, 2005
- Messages
- 542
- Reaction score
- 12
Viper is probably the most active poster on the High School forums, which is a bad thing. We need to help him be the DJ he wants to be, regardless of how defensive he gets.
Concerning your voice: I've a state-qualifying debater that had a terrible accent for most of my life, but I've changed it. This is how you take care of a crappy voice.
1) Record yourself. I think in another thread, someone suggested having a recorder in your pocket; that's a good idea. Go through your normal day, and play it back at night
2) Practice vocal exercises/alter your speech. There's no way you can chance ANYTHING about yourself unless you try. It took me a good 4 months of work to get my voice and diction into tip-top shape for competitions, and unless you have that dedication, nothing will happen. Be sure to talk to the debate/speech/choir coach in your school, and ask them for advice or guidance. Teachers are there for a reason, be sure to use them.
3) Don't worry about it too much. Of course, if you find the other person struggling to understand you, alter what you're saying, but remember that the most important thing about talking to girls is that you should be relaxed and confident while doing it. From what I read, it seems your voice troubles you so much that it actually becomes a problem. Don't focus as much on it, focus on your conversational skills, your game, c/f, neg hits, etc (read the Bible for more). I speak too fast, and I can crack any girl up through wit alone; that's what you should strive for, not so much changing a speaking pattern you were born with.
I'm not suggesting that you don't do parts 1 and 2, only that once you've started altering your voice, don't focus too much on exactly that. Relax while you speak, and every conversation, try to apply your changes. Relaxation is the most important.
Concerning the bullies:
The best thing to do to bullies is agree with them. I've been bullied before (because I was somewhat younger and skinnier than others in my class), but what really makes them leave you alone is simply agree.
Bully: "You're a fag, you know that, your voice is so gay, etc. etc."
Viper: "That's exactly right, and you're my gay lover."
Say this with a straight face, a light grin, and the bully will look dumbfounded. Another possible strategies:
Bully: "You're gay, you're a loser, you're a pansy, etc"
Viper: "Your mom didn't think so last night."
Or to add icing to the cake, hand him a quarter and say, "this is for last night". Again, light grin and straight face, looking at him in the eye. When he sees the confidence, and the fact that you aren't bothered, he'll stop, trust me. Of course, if you're daring and you can play it off well, you can do this:
Bully: "You're gay, etc."
Viper: "Gay people don't do this", and you suavely put your arm around a nearby girl (make it a hot girl, maybe even your target, w/e). It's situational, but it should demonstrate the right thing to do: have fun humiliating the bullies. Don't get flustered, show no anger, and don't even fight. Just look at them in the face, and mock them.
Concerning girls thinking you're slow:
Girls don't think you're slow because of your voice, more than likely, it is because of your demeanor. You're unsure of what to say, and combined with your slow voice, it leads to problems. As always, try to improve your voice, relax, and practice talking to girls you DON'T like first. Just talk and talk, uninterrupted, and get used to good DJ conversation (letting her do the talking, eye contact, c/f, bible for more).
Viper, if you have any more questions, post them here, and if anyone has any solutions, post em as well. I don't see the logic in insulting him in every post; it's better to help him so he doesn't need to ask so many questions.
Concerning your voice: I've a state-qualifying debater that had a terrible accent for most of my life, but I've changed it. This is how you take care of a crappy voice.
1) Record yourself. I think in another thread, someone suggested having a recorder in your pocket; that's a good idea. Go through your normal day, and play it back at night
2) Practice vocal exercises/alter your speech. There's no way you can chance ANYTHING about yourself unless you try. It took me a good 4 months of work to get my voice and diction into tip-top shape for competitions, and unless you have that dedication, nothing will happen. Be sure to talk to the debate/speech/choir coach in your school, and ask them for advice or guidance. Teachers are there for a reason, be sure to use them.
3) Don't worry about it too much. Of course, if you find the other person struggling to understand you, alter what you're saying, but remember that the most important thing about talking to girls is that you should be relaxed and confident while doing it. From what I read, it seems your voice troubles you so much that it actually becomes a problem. Don't focus as much on it, focus on your conversational skills, your game, c/f, neg hits, etc (read the Bible for more). I speak too fast, and I can crack any girl up through wit alone; that's what you should strive for, not so much changing a speaking pattern you were born with.
I'm not suggesting that you don't do parts 1 and 2, only that once you've started altering your voice, don't focus too much on exactly that. Relax while you speak, and every conversation, try to apply your changes. Relaxation is the most important.
Concerning the bullies:
The best thing to do to bullies is agree with them. I've been bullied before (because I was somewhat younger and skinnier than others in my class), but what really makes them leave you alone is simply agree.
Bully: "You're a fag, you know that, your voice is so gay, etc. etc."
Viper: "That's exactly right, and you're my gay lover."
Say this with a straight face, a light grin, and the bully will look dumbfounded. Another possible strategies:
Bully: "You're gay, you're a loser, you're a pansy, etc"
Viper: "Your mom didn't think so last night."
Or to add icing to the cake, hand him a quarter and say, "this is for last night". Again, light grin and straight face, looking at him in the eye. When he sees the confidence, and the fact that you aren't bothered, he'll stop, trust me. Of course, if you're daring and you can play it off well, you can do this:
Bully: "You're gay, etc."
Viper: "Gay people don't do this", and you suavely put your arm around a nearby girl (make it a hot girl, maybe even your target, w/e). It's situational, but it should demonstrate the right thing to do: have fun humiliating the bullies. Don't get flustered, show no anger, and don't even fight. Just look at them in the face, and mock them.
Concerning girls thinking you're slow:
Girls don't think you're slow because of your voice, more than likely, it is because of your demeanor. You're unsure of what to say, and combined with your slow voice, it leads to problems. As always, try to improve your voice, relax, and practice talking to girls you DON'T like first. Just talk and talk, uninterrupted, and get used to good DJ conversation (letting her do the talking, eye contact, c/f, bible for more).
Viper, if you have any more questions, post them here, and if anyone has any solutions, post em as well. I don't see the logic in insulting him in every post; it's better to help him so he doesn't need to ask so many questions.