Taking back love and romance, the MASCULINE way

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by MetalFortress, Aug 1, 2004.

  1. MetalFortress

    MetalFortress Master Don Juan

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    You know, there is a great tragedy I have observed on this site. What I notice about AFC's is that being in love makes them want to be more submissive and feminine. It's not the being in love that hurts them, it is being submissive and feminine.

    Now, with many of the DJs at this site, they totally lose the ability to be in love, because they are trained on how bad oneitis is. But they misdirect their energy, not trying to kill submissiveness and femininity as a whole, but they end up killing off their emotions and as a result, can't be in love even when they WANT to be.

    These guys associate falling in love with being an AFC and the disease known as oneitis. However, there's a huge contrast between a heathy, reciprocal love and a one-sided blind obsession that degenerates you into a clingy chump.

    You wanna know how you know that you have a good mindset? What should happen is that being in love with a girl should make you want to be more MASCULINE, be the leader, sweep her off her feet and make sure she will never forget you.

    I have found this happening to me with my girl, almost by accident, but with my masculine nature taking over, I really have no need to remember excessive techniques. I can safely say that she is literally addicted to me.

    Guys have a tendency to sort of become wusses when they are in love. Losing masculinity. However, women seem to become more feminine and submissive as well, meaning women are more in tune with their feminine nature than guys are with their masculine nature. Why does this happen?

    Well, first off, the lack of worthwhile father figures in society is to blame. Nobody is teaching boys how to be men, nobody is teaching them how to be in tune with their masculine nature. Mothers, try as they might, cannot do so adequately, because they don't know HOW to teach masculine nature, because their nature is feminine. With more boys being taught how to love by their mothers, they pick up the feminine nature.

    Girls, when they are very in love, still become more feminine (for the most part), obviously due to this mother nurture. Even with absence of mother figures, women love talking about feelings and guys, while guys don't really do much talk about women aside from terse comments and bragging.

    Now for many PUAs and DJs, they focus too hard on techniques and less on mindset. They will act masculine and leaderly for awhile, but when they get into the LTR is where they run into static. They think, "Sweet, I got her to like me/sex me. Now I can show my real self, and stop worrying about all that crap I learned. It's too much WORK". Ay, there's the rub. Being a man should not be WORK. Being a man should be FUN, should be effortless. Why worry about it? You should be masculine by nature and love what you do.

    But the problem is that they never ingrain love emotions and romance with the newfound masculine techniques, and the techniques don't become mindset, they simply stay techniques. Love becomes the polar opposite of being a man, and they avoid it like the plague. OR, they get into an LTR, and they stop with the DJ techniques, and instead start being their "true selves". What happens? They take off the pants in the relationship, their girlfriend puts the pants ON, and the guy gets dominated and dumped.

    Women know that relationships have roles, they just won't admit it. And if you start trying to fill THEIR role, they will subconsciously start trying to fill YOUR role. And since it is not in their nature to do so, it will have a much lower chance of lasting, and you can kiss the relationship BYE BYE.

    How do natural males do it? The dominant, masculine leader is WHO THEY ARE. It's not a front. It's not a fallacy. It's the real them. THEY ARE just being themselves. They can even be in love, and not get screwed over, cuz they are in touch with their nature as men, and love makes them want to be more masculine, and not more feminine. This plays into romance too. Showering her with gifts, being her servant, whatever, is not real romance. It's a farce that's been sold to us in a brown bag with a bad label, and we bought it. Real romance is what sweeps her off her feet, takes her and shows you that world you can bring her into where she is being submissive and loving it..

    The point here, folks, is that being this masculine lover who women associate with the prototypical "latin lover" and the romance novels (emotional porn) they so love, is something that should not just be done in techniques. Ingrain it into your mindset, and you won't have to WORK at it, and grow embittered. Instead, you will simply have to just be yourself, you can be satisfied and happy as a clam, and she can be just as satisfied and in love with you, as you are with her. Don't cast off love and romance. Take it back, make it what it is supposed to be, and embrace it.
     
    Glumix, iqqi and DJ_Matthew like this.
  2. chicksrock

    chicksrock Master Don Juan

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    Excellent tip/post. I could really relate with it
     
  3. Dirtheart

    Dirtheart Master Don Juan

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    Nice tip indeed!! I like the point about the latin lover and romance novels. Almost every woman harbours dreams of a man who will sweep her off her feet and make her fall madly in love. They don't dream of mothering a wuss, nor some wisecracking PUA, nor some misogynistic caveman.

    Sure, women want sex, but they want to fall in love more. Unfortunately for them, they rarely find their the man of their dreams, so they just settle with whoever they get and grow dependent on him whilst hoping he'll change.
     
  4. neobrood

    neobrood Senior Don Juan

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    I'm one of those guys.

    But to tell u wat... its all about survival.
     
  5. MetalFortress

    MetalFortress Master Don Juan

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    Thanks Dirtheart and chicksrock.

    Hit the nail right on the head. Looking back, it's no wonder it seems like so many chicks go bi or lesbian, because there is such a drought of real men to sweep them off their feet.

    Explain.
     
  6. hardwork

    hardwork Master Don Juan

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    Top stuff

    Upon reading this, I instantly achieved an erection.
     
  7. neobrood

    neobrood Senior Don Juan

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    Survival? Let me explain...

    Um... during my WBAFC days, I was really really really attatched to this chick. I swear I couldnt let her go. I called her up everyday at the same time, spilled my guts to her, told her how much I love her, etc... etc... etc...

    I swear I LOVED HER.

    - I loved her so much that I would go out of my way to help her. Ok... she has a class in the afternoon and my classes end at 11:00 am. Um... I wait for her until her class ends at 3:00 pm... just to be able to get a chance to spend time with her for 30 minutes till her mom or dad picks her up.

    - I loved her so much that I would spend money for her and do anything for her

    - I loved her so much that I would get pissed off whenever she talks to some other guy. And at the slightest moment I feel some other guy is a "threat", I butt into the conversation and pull her away from him. One time I even warned a guy to stay away from her or he will get it.

    - I loved her so much that I was ready to kill or die for her or change my religion to be with her forever.

    - I loved her so much that I swear that we'd still be fvcking at age 70 (if she returned my love)...

    - I loved her so much that my first 50 posts in this forum were all about her that it got so annoying to other people. I was desperately asking for tips and techniques on how to win her back and all... but still failed. She LJBFd me a long time ago. And we all know how hard it is to get out of the LJBF zone.

    =============

    What is the reason why I associate it with "survival"?

    Cuz I almost killed myself when she kept on pushing me away. If I wasnt a Christian who was trained from birth that SUICIDE IS DAMN WRONG AND WILL SEND YOU TO THE BOTTOM OF HELL, I woulda killed myself.

    I felt pain because of ATTATCHMENT aka LOVE. I felt pain because of LOVING HER. I felt that I was PUNISHED for LOVING someone. As if loving someone is the wrong thing to do.

    Therefore, without attatchment aka love, I woulda not been hurt bad.

    ================

    Therefore, I dont know if I will still fall in love or anything. I flirt, I date other women, many times just for the sake of "testing my skills" or for the mere pleasure of playing with someone's emotions. I pick up or try to pick up women for the sake of gaming. As if its just a friggin video game... If I get rejected, big deal... its just a game... NEXT!!!

    Call me evil... but I GET DELIGHTED whenever I see defeated rivals and pissed off boyfriends... even if im not really interested in that woman at all...

    Call me an AFC for being afraid (since "real men" arent supposed to be afraid eh?) to love. If thats the way you wanna put it.
     
  8. MetalFortress

    MetalFortress Master Don Juan

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    Remember this quote Neobrood? There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE. Your case was the latter, and you can't let the latter push you away from the former. You did not love her. You obsessed over her. By taking out YOUR pain on other people by toying with feelings, you are not only running away from the problem, but bringing other people down with you. You can either confront the problem head on and advance to the next level, and love the way God meant you to love, or you can continue runnin' away and toying with feelings. The red pill and the blue pill are in front of you.
     
  9. h a r d a s s

    h a r d a s s Don Juan

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    good stuff. i liked it.

    and neo, metal is absolutely right, that was not healthy love and worse your tricking yourself into thinking that love is something to be feared. If you are a Christian then you should know true love is from God and everything goes better when you act in alliance with His will. His will is probably not for you to be deceiving yourself, for the amusement of "gaming" w women, at the expense of others. Nor is it to foolheartedly accept a one-sided hurtful "love."

    "To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
     
  10. MetalFortress

    MetalFortress Master Don Juan

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    Good post h a r d a s s . In the Bible it often compares the relationship between a man and a woman to that between Christ and the church. And Jesus ain't no wuss ;)
     
  11. aBAzLLnA

    aBAzLLnA Master Don Juan

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    Hot stuff. When I fall in love, I'll find out what you mean :)

    When, in a relationship, you find it to be survival, there's gotta be something wrong... A relationship is supposed to be about fun, and surviving usually isn't the most fun thing. Think to the show "Survivor".

    ~ivan
     
  12. HuangBei

    HuangBei Don Juan

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    Excellent post MetalFortress, you may have saved what was left of my heart. :D
     
  13. Spike_the_cowboy

    Spike_the_cowboy Master Don Juan

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    Very true, MetalFortress, women can smell a fake act faster than sh!t on a shoe. It is also very interesting what you say about role-reversals... Good stuff.

    I guess that means that I have a good mindset.:D

    This is, I believe, the highest level one can attain in life. It is complete mastery of the self.

    "The experienced warrior does not think about a technique on the battlefield. His body is without form and his mind is without thought. He lives in the moment and has no concern for whatever end result that might come about by his actions. Life or death, victory or defeat; these are the concerns of the fallen warriors long since forgotten." - Forgive me for quoting myself.:p



    Good work, Fortress.:cool:
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2004
  14. McEwan

    McEwan Don Juan

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    Regarding oneitis and it's affect on the male view on love and responsibility for masculine role in the relationship:

    The main reason I started reading and contributing to this site was to learn how to sweep a particular girl off her feet and grant her the right to desire me.

    I myself whole-heartedly believe that the man must be the MAN in the relationship.

    I am reminded of my RAF training (again), when I was being trained in drill:

    (Thanks to Cpl Stuart.)

    "Hold your head up high. Stand up straight. Chest out.
    You are MEN. You are PROUD to be men. PROVE you are proud to be men.

    Walk out standing ten feet tall, straight up and down. Arms and legs straight. Remind those who see you that you are the MAN and you are HERE."

    Modify and apply these to your relationships.
    Might work. Might not. But still worth a shot.
     
  15. legolas

    legolas Master Don Juan

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    Re: Top stuff

    Man you must be very gay.....er.... happy I mean :D
     
  16. Duke

    Duke Master Don Juan

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    Excellent post, MF. It's all about the essence of maleness or femaleness. Turning into a chump is denying your innate maleness and thus makes you less attractive.

    For a long time, I simply COULD NOT fall in love with any girls because I thought it equated to one-itus and chumphood. I was wrong. Falling in love on a WHIM and persuing a one-sided relationship is chumpy. But falling in love is NOT chumpy if the girl is also in love with and respects you. Then its all gravy :D

    I think this post correlates quite well with Jvesti's Intro to "T" Theory post.
     
  17. Blue Phoenix

    Blue Phoenix Master Don Juan

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  18. Bonhomme

    Bonhomme Master Don Juan

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    Excellent!

    24-karat gold.

    The funny thing is this has always come natural to me once I got "in" with a gal. I suppose the confidence just kicked in at that point, however much of a chump the former me may have been when trying to "court" a gal who wasn't a sure catch.

    Good that you brought it up, Metal Fortress.
     
  19. jakethasnake

    jakethasnake Master Don Juan

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    Re: Top stuff


    LOL.... :D Yes, this was a very good post.
     
  20. slipstreamer83

    slipstreamer83 Don Juan

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    What MetalFortress says here has made me think. I came across this site because I was the ultimate AFC with this girl. I was completely obsessed with her, and she rejected me twice.

    Then, I discovered that there is a huge community on the Internet (this site and other pay sites) that claim that what I was doing was wrong. It all came in the right moment, after the biggest screw-up I´ve ever made with a girl.

    I have been studying and practicing a little here and there for 1 year and a half, and when I had the feeling of "love" (only happened once in this period) I would REPRESS it until killing it.

    It feels like girls are samples to make experiments with. Obviously, I have toi correct this now.

    Thanks!!!
     

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