You know, there is a great tragedy I have observed on this site. What I notice about AFC's is that being in love makes them want to be more submissive and feminine. It's not the being in love that hurts them, it is being submissive and feminine. Now, with many of the DJs at this site, they totally lose the ability to be in love, because they are trained on how bad oneitis is. But they misdirect their energy, not trying to kill submissiveness and femininity as a whole, but they end up killing off their emotions and as a result, can't be in love even when they WANT to be. These guys associate falling in love with being an AFC and the disease known as oneitis. However, there's a huge contrast between a heathy, reciprocal love and a one-sided blind obsession that degenerates you into a clingy chump. You wanna know how you know that you have a good mindset? What should happen is that being in love with a girl should make you want to be more MASCULINE, be the leader, sweep her off her feet and make sure she will never forget you. I have found this happening to me with my girl, almost by accident, but with my masculine nature taking over, I really have no need to remember excessive techniques. I can safely say that she is literally addicted to me. Guys have a tendency to sort of become wusses when they are in love. Losing masculinity. However, women seem to become more feminine and submissive as well, meaning women are more in tune with their feminine nature than guys are with their masculine nature. Why does this happen? Well, first off, the lack of worthwhile father figures in society is to blame. Nobody is teaching boys how to be men, nobody is teaching them how to be in tune with their masculine nature. Mothers, try as they might, cannot do so adequately, because they don't know HOW to teach masculine nature, because their nature is feminine. With more boys being taught how to love by their mothers, they pick up the feminine nature. Girls, when they are very in love, still become more feminine (for the most part), obviously due to this mother nurture. Even with absence of mother figures, women love talking about feelings and guys, while guys don't really do much talk about women aside from terse comments and bragging. Now for many PUAs and DJs, they focus too hard on techniques and less on mindset. They will act masculine and leaderly for awhile, but when they get into the LTR is where they run into static. They think, "Sweet, I got her to like me/sex me. Now I can show my real self, and stop worrying about all that crap I learned. It's too much WORK". Ay, there's the rub. Being a man should not be WORK. Being a man should be FUN, should be effortless. Why worry about it? You should be masculine by nature and love what you do. But the problem is that they never ingrain love emotions and romance with the newfound masculine techniques, and the techniques don't become mindset, they simply stay techniques. Love becomes the polar opposite of being a man, and they avoid it like the plague. OR, they get into an LTR, and they stop with the DJ techniques, and instead start being their "true selves". What happens? They take off the pants in the relationship, their girlfriend puts the pants ON, and the guy gets dominated and dumped. Women know that relationships have roles, they just won't admit it. And if you start trying to fill THEIR role, they will subconsciously start trying to fill YOUR role. And since it is not in their nature to do so, it will have a much lower chance of lasting, and you can kiss the relationship BYE BYE. How do natural males do it? The dominant, masculine leader is WHO THEY ARE. It's not a front. It's not a fallacy. It's the real them. THEY ARE just being themselves. They can even be in love, and not get screwed over, cuz they are in touch with their nature as men, and love makes them want to be more masculine, and not more feminine. This plays into romance too. Showering her with gifts, being her servant, whatever, is not real romance. It's a farce that's been sold to us in a brown bag with a bad label, and we bought it. Real romance is what sweeps her off her feet, takes her and shows you that world you can bring her into where she is being submissive and loving it.. The point here, folks, is that being this masculine lover who women associate with the prototypical "latin lover" and the romance novels (emotional porn) they so love, is something that should not just be done in techniques. Ingrain it into your mindset, and you won't have to WORK at it, and grow embittered. Instead, you will simply have to just be yourself, you can be satisfied and happy as a clam, and she can be just as satisfied and in love with you, as you are with her. Don't cast off love and romance. Take it back, make it what it is supposed to be, and embrace it.