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social circle observation

btownbuck2012

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For the guys who utilize their social circle(s) to meet women have you noticed that women within that circle who are either in a relationship or even married whom have given you IOIs, as we know this is something that shouldn't shock us unfortunately at this point, will try and set you up with women who they aren't intimidated by in terms of your attention BUT will actively **** block you with women whom they would consider competition?

I've even noticed this with men, too. It's like so many people who are IN relationships are so focused on keeping their options open, even if it's just for sex, that they'll actively mate guard others whom they aren't even involved with or **** block potential competition. Again, these are people IN relationships. In one case, a married couple I know. In my opinion it really speaks to the fact that so many relationships are simply just people getting together for security or social expectations, not because they truly desire, want or respect that person.

I get butt hurt about this type of behavior occasionally but am able to shrug it off much easier these days. Just another part of the game.

I've noticed this recently. Would be curious to get other's thoughts.
 
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fastlife

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Once you know what to look for, you see it everywhere ;) The 'Secret Society' is definitely a thing--once you're comfortable with your own sexuality & have started making an effort to be attractive in general, you'll realize that sex is everywhere and often in places you wouldn't expect or where it shouldn't be.

At this point, I limit my time around my male & female friends who are in relationships. It's an unfortunate (except, not really) & necessary thing to keep my friendships intact. As far as females in your social circle (gfs of your buddies, in particular), they react in one of 3 ways (or some type of combination):
  • Seduction--IOIs, Innuendo, Prolonging hugs unnecessarily, finding excuses to be alone, sometimes taking things wayyy too far. The best thing I've found to do is play dumb & deescalate. Moralizing doesn't change biology & telling your friend just opens up a lot of unnecessary drama & will more likely result in the end of your friendship than the end of that relationship.
  • Competition--C0ckblocking you with other attractive females, Isolating her boyfriend from you (so you don't give him any ideas, you naughty player), Talking sh1t about your sexual lifestyle, etc. Again, just play dumb. Don't overtly try to convince your buddy of anything (it won't happen & it will just give her ammunition against you).
  • Collaboration/Vicarious Enjoyment--If she actually is into her guy & views you as a threat, she'll do her best to win you over--qualifying her relationship-qualities to you & throwing her hot girl friends your way to try to stabilize you (or possibly to hear the war stories afterward). This is the ideal outcome & usually the inevitable results when you don't take the bait on the other two forms of manipulation. However, you gotta hold frame with the hot friends, so that the hot friend doesn't give the gf ammunition to put you back in competition.
All of this is covert--and the rabbit hole goes a lot deeper than that. It's important to have boundaries (i.e. frame) about the limits of potential behavior you'll indulge in for every single one of your relationships beforehand & act through your intentions. Don't get upset at biology. Almost all of this happens on a subconscious level--keep it there--just by being friends with her primary mate, you're heavily preselected lol--it's not like her logical, everyday mind is even aware of these things and, if your being honest with yourself, your hindbrain has probably thought about some pretty fvcked up things with your buddy's gf (if she's at all attractive).

If things ever go too far for your comfort, time & space usually give emotions time to reset.
 

Pandora

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Yes but it's not Universal. I also know women in relationships that will set you up with their pretty hot friends just to keep you in the orbit.
yeses dude I have a female friend that is in a relationship. I am deep in the "friend zone" with her for about a decade. I am pretty sure that she has an attraction for me and my friends insists that she does. I object by saying that she tries to set me up with girls. They have told me that the only reason she sets me up with her friends is because that is the only way that I would keep hanging out with her. I think this is a real thing. When they set you up with their hot friends I have noticed that they get slightly jealous when you actually manage to bang their friends and have a semi relationship with the hot friend. Women are bizarre creatures.
 

Mike32ct

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I've even noticed this with men, too. It's like so many people who are IN relationships are so focused on keeping their options open, even if it's just for sex, that they'll actively mate guard others whom they aren't even involved with or **** block potential competition. Again, these are people IN relationships. In one case, a married couple I know.
Agreed. I can vouch for this piece. I know this guy that is in an LTR. He got pissed off that I went out dancing with this SINGLE girl in our social circle.

I guess I didn’t get the memo. Apparently, he’s allowed to have a gf, but I’m not. And the single girl has to remain in reserve (and not see anyone else) in case he decides to cheat on his gf. You can’t make this stuff up.
 

KenThePen

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Hi all, just joined the forum.

I have a part time secretary. Pretty hot, scatty, 2 kids, 14 years younger than me, going through a divorce at the moment and now has a regular b/f, although she did meet up with my best mate (who's a bit of a player) and 'spent the night' with him a few weeks ago. She doesn't know I know.

Soon after she started working for me, she offered to come to my place to sort my garden out for me. I think back then this indicated she had an interest in me.

I've employed her for about 2 years now. She's tries to set me up with her not-so-attractive girlfriends. She loves talking to me about sex all the time. I've always thought trying to set me up with her friends indicates 'Friend-Zone', but what about talking about sex, asking me what I like and telling me what she likes. Could that be an indicator of attraction?

I don't want to get involved with her (she's pretty messed up), It'd just be interesting to know what is going on.
 
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