Sisonpyh is back

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Ralfus, Jul 13, 2001.

  1. Ralfus

    Ralfus Master Don Juan

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    From Cliff's seduction newsletter:


    Sisonpyh:
    Hey guys, it's been a little while since I've posted anything, so I'm going
    to make up for it again with a long one...

    I've been busy lately working on, of all things, writing a book.

    Cliff told me to mention it here (thanks Cliff).

    I have a website now called www.doubleyourdating.com where I offer it if,
    you'd like to come check it out -- and I'll tell you more about it at the
    end of this post.

    Onward.

    Because I've been interacting with a lot of guys who have been buying my
    book, I've been realizing some things that I never thought about before.

    I have to start and frame this by telling you about a couple of common
    business strategies. I think I've mentioned that I've done a lot of work in
    marketing. Here's something that is very common:

    Most small businesses make a HUGE mistake when they begin their marketing
    campaigns... they look at big companies who are making millions and then try
    to COPY what those big companies are doing. This makes sense logically. The
    owners of these new small companies are saying "Hey, if it works for them,
    then it will work for me. I'll just copy the best and get the same results."

    Well, you might have heard that approximately 96% of new businesses GO OUT
    of business.

    The problem with copying the big boys is that it takes a different marketing
    strategy to GROW a business than it does to MAINTAIN a business once it has
    become successful.

    The question that small business owners SHOULD be asking is "When that
    successful business was brand new, what kind of marketing did it do to
    BECOME successful?"

    Are you with me here? Instead of looking at what big businesses are doing
    NOW, they should be looking at what the big business DID when it was new in
    order to grow.

    This metaphor seems to translate over to men who are learning to be
    successful with women.

    Guys who are new to the idea of learning how to meet women often look at
    what the killer pick up artists are doing and try to copy them.

    I remember when I started out... I was all fascinated with getting phone
    numbers, learning slick lines, and all of the psychology.

    Now, there's nothing wrong with learning from pros... I give credit to my
    friends who have helped me learn the skills that I have... BUT, and it's a
    big one...

    I think that most guys should be asking the pros "What did you do when you
    STARTED learning this stuff to get to the point where you are now?"

    I like to ask things like "When you first started learning to approach
    women, what did you do to overcome the fear of rejection?"

    That question will get you a lot further than "What do you say to a woman
    when you meet her?"

    Does this make sense to you? It's useful to study the structure and
    progression of how the pros learned and grew - more so than just asking what
    they do now.

    By the way, you'll find a lot of the times you ask a killer pick-up artist
    these types of "How did you learn this..." and "What did you do when you
    started..." they will remember things that they've long since forgotten
    about.

    You'll get answers like "Wow, I completely forgot about this... but when I
    started, the first thing I did was go out to a shopping mall and talk to
    women who were selling men's clothing... because I knew I could try things
    and they had to talk to me..." etc.

    With that said, I'm going to tell you about some more of my perspectives on
    how to become great with women... I call this:

    "Six Critical Mistakes Men Make With Women... And What To Do About It"

    (That's my marketing side coming out... ha) I've taken this idea of "What
    should a guy do when he's learning?" and built what you're about to read.
    Some of it is theory, and some is technique. I hope you enjoy.

    Mistake #1: GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER TO OTHERS

    Gerry Spence, in his amazing book "How To Argue And Win Every Time" (The 2
    tape series is the best) talks about the idea of giving your power away to
    others.

    When you let the idea of a woman rejecting you stop you from walking over
    and talking to her, you're GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER.

    When you allow what someone says about you to affect your mood and self
    esteem, you're GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER.

    A lot of people have a strategy which involves linking their self-image and
    self-esteem to things that they IMAGINE, and to events that happen outside
    of them (i.e. rejection by a woman).

    This is also giving away power to others.

    When I first started, I sat down and did a bit of rational thinking about
    different situations with women.

    I asked myself questions like:
    "If a woman rejects me in public, right in front of 50 people, what will the
    effect be on me and my life?"

    "If I go to kiss a woman, and she pushes me away, what is the worst thing
    that can happen?"

    "If I call a woman, and she's rude to me on the phone, what will the result
    be?"

    Then I listed what the WORST possible outcomes could be. I mean things like
    "Well, if she rejects me, my friends could laugh at me and everyone could
    think I'm a dork..."

    I thought of every result that I could.

    Then I asked myself "Can I live with that?" and "Will that actually hurt me
    in any way?"

    Now, I'll tell you, it was hard for me to admit to myself that I was afraid.
    I didn't like the idea that I was afraid of women and what they thought of
    me.

    But when I finally admitted it to myself, and started rationally thinking of
    what the worst case scenarios would be and, MORE IMPORTANTLY IF I COULD LIVE
    WITH THEM a lot started to happen.

    I realized that if a woman rejected me, that I'D GET OVER IT. I'd actually
    live.

    I realized that the first few times it happened it might be a little
    traumatic, but by preparing myself to deal with whatever happened, it gave
    me the courage to go out and try some things (more on that later).

    In summary: Don't give away your power. Keep your power for you. If you have
    to, face your fear internally, resolve to handle the worst case scenario,
    then get on with TAKING ACTION.

    Mistake #2: NOT LEARNING TO MANAGE THEIR EMOTIONS

    Here's the deal: Most of the guys I have met and talked to have some kind of
    'automatic' emotional reactions that come up for them when it comes to
    meeting women... and most of the time, the automatic reactions are
    destroying their success.

    I personally think that it's quite natural for a guy to get all excited when
    he meets a woman that's attractive to him. It charges the body and makes you
    feel alive.

    But the problem is that it also 1) Often prevents a guy from taking action,
    saying hi, or whatever because his fear level rises, and 2) Often makes that
    guy start acting unnatural when he finally does get the balls to start
    talking... can I hear an AMEN?

    I assume that by being on this list you have probably had at least some
    experience with NLP, Hypnosis, Huna, etc.

    These are all great ways to learn to manage your emotions.

    The problem is that most guys don't actually take the time to learn and
    practice the techniques that these disciplines teach in order to get their
    situation handled.

    I used to get all kinds of freaked out when I thought of walking up and
    talking to a woman. This would usually prevent me from even trying, as I
    felt like I'd screw it up.

    It took me awhile to learn how to chill a bit, but when I finally did, I was
    able to be about 10x as effective. I actually enjoy a little bit of that
    rush that happens when I see a woman that I'm about to go meet. It feels
    good. But too much can really throw me off.

    So I use a couple of exercises that I learned from Timeline Therapy to chill
    my emotions.

    If I need to calm down quickly, or to stay calm, I just imagine going all
    the way into the future on my timeline and then looking back to now... then
    quickly snapping back to the present moment. I do this about three times in
    a row, all in about 2 seconds. This works great for me.

    Now, here's the kicker: I had to try a couple of dozen things to find this
    one. And I had to try it a few ways in order to get it to work for me.

    I'd recommend getting some note cards an writing down 10 exercises to calm
    you down or make you stay calm, then go out where there are hot women,
    imagine walking up and talking to one, then read a card and try the
    exercise.

    Read "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway" by Jeffers, "Frogs Into Princes" by
    Bandler and Grinder, and "The Secret Of Creating Your Future" by James for
    ideas.

    Mistake #3: NOT REALIZING THAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO A FEW KEY MOMENTS AND A
    FEW CRITICAL SKILLS

    One of the things that learning all of this stuff about how to meet women
    has made me realize is that there are a few major points in any "seduction"
    that stump most guys.

    I've made a list of 10, and I call them "Critical Moments." These are:
    1. Approach (Walking over and saying hello)
    2. Digits (Getting a phone number, email address, etc.)
    3. Date request (This can actually be done when you first meet)
    4. Date (The actual time with her)
    5. Hold hands (The first sustained physical contact)
    6. Kiss (The first 'intimate' contact)
    7. Alone in private (Trust)
    8. Make out (Sexually aroused)
    9. Clothes off (Very sexually aroused)
    10. Sex (Very very very sexually aroused!)

    I'd say that somewhere around 90-95% of the questions that I get about how
    to meet women are in one of these 10 areas.

    I'd bet that if you're having trouble, it fits into one of these categories.

    I don't get a lot of guys writing me to say "What kind of car impresses
    women most?" or "What kind of cologne should I wear?" These are fine
    questions, but they're not the killer stumping points.

    The interesting thing about the Critical Moments is that each usually
    REQUIRES THE MAN TO TAKE ACTION AND RISK REJECTION.

    In each of these moments, the woman is usually perceived to have all the
    power. If she stops the game, it's over.

    This makes a lot of guys feel pretty weak and powerless.

    In martial arts, it takes months of practice to prepare for a tournament
    that lasts minutes. With women, each of these Critical Moments usually
    passes in a few minutes or seconds. These moments don't make up very much of
    the time that you're usually together with her, but they are the KEYS to
    whether the relationship will go to a physical level.

    In any event, I realized that I REALLY DON'T LIKE REJECTION. I don't really
    see a need for it... I don't think that it's necessary to invite it into my
    life.

    So I asked myself "How do I get past all of these Critical Moments with a
    MINIMUM of even the possibility of rejection?"

    My answer is what I call my "Bridges." I've created techniques for setting
    up each moment that make it very natural for the woman to continue through,
    and many times, even INITIATE it.

    If you've read my past posts, you know about some of my ideas and techniques
    around getting email addresses and phone numbers, teasing, turning women on,
    etc.

    For instance, if you ask a woman for her phone number, you have a situation
    where you could get a rejection... on the other hand if you ask "Do you have
    email?" most women will say "Yes" at which point you can take out a pen and
    just pretend that she also meant "Yes I'll give it to you..."

    This works like a charm... and while she's writing her email you just say
    "And write your number there too..."

    This little "Bridge" will up your results by 50-100% or more if you use
    it... and it's so simple.

    My suggestion for you is to organize what you've learned from different
    sources and create your own set of Bridges to get you past the points that
    you're having trouble with.

    By preparing for these SPECIFIC moments, you'll increase your success
    dramatically.

    Mistake #4: NOT IMPROVING THEMSELVES IN THE AREA OF PHYSICAL APPEARANCE FROM
    AN 'OBJECTIVE' PERSPECTIVE

    Most of the guys that I know who are great at picking up women are not
    model-handsome.

    Most of them are not tall.

    Most of them are not millionaires.

    Most are not famous.

    But almost ALL of them pay attention to how they look, and they do their
    best to present themselves well when they meet women.

    Now, I don't think that you have to start spending $500.00 on t-shirts and
    build a Muscle Media body.

    I honestly believe that most women (Yes, even the super hot ones) are more
    interested in your personality in the long run.

    BUT, I also believe that if you look BAD, you're going to cause women to
    pre-judge you too much and ruin your chances.

    A few pointers:
    - Neat, stylish, well kept hair

    - Little or no facial hair, no uni-brow, etc.

    - Clean, non-wrinkled clothing that fit you well

    - Nice, clean shoes and belt (matching)

    - Very clean face and body (wash whole body a MINIMUM of three times each
    shower)

    - Neat and clean hands, fingernails, feet, toes, etc.

    - ***BIG ONE: The teeth! Make sure they're clean, flossed, and no bad breath
    EVER!

    Now, you might have to actually spend a little while learning a few things
    about style and fashion.

    I personally wear a lot of Calvin Klein t-shirts (untucked) with nice black
    jeans, and nice black leather square-toe shoes (Nordstrom Rack for $50).

    This whole getup can be had for about a hundred bucks or so... and it works
    just about anywhere from Starbucks to a club.

    Do yourself a favor and make the best of what you have. Even if you're not
    Brad Pitt, you can still look your best.

    Mistake #5: NOT IMPROVING THEIR COMMUNICATION SKILLS, VOICE TONE, AND
    PERSONALITY TO BECOME MORE ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN

    A lot of guys that I talk to are just not willing to change the way that
    they communicate.

    If you have a weak, high pitched voice... lowering it and speaking more
    deeply will make you more attractive to most women.

    If you have nervous ticks, it will help you to practice not doing them -
    they make women nervous.

    If you have no sense of humor, it will help you to cultivate one (this is a
    big one, guys).

    I get a lot of guys that don't want to change... they just want things to
    happen for them.

    Summed up, it goes like this: Some guys would rather be 'themselves' than be
    successful.

    I'm not suggesting that you sacrifice your unique individuality here, I'm
    just saying that there are ways you can improve yourself, that won't make
    you an ass-kisser, that will make you more successful

    So get yourself a tape series on how to improve your voice. Read about how
    to calm yourself down so you're not nervous. Get a couple of books on comedy
    (I love Comedy Writing Secrets by Helitzer).

    Go down to the bookstore and look at the 'Communication Skills' section.

    If you keep working on improving your basic communication skills, you'll
    keep improving with women.

    Mistake #6: GIVING UP TOO EARLY OR NOT EVEN TRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE

    Have you noticed on this list that a lot of guys argue with an idea before
    they try it? Or they discredit someone else's idea and say that theirs is
    better?

    Guys love to say "That won't work" or "I tried that and it doesn't work"...

    Many times, this leads to a negative attitude that prevents them from even
    trying other things... or of not trying something again that didn't work the
    first time.

    I think that it's important to test new things at least 3-5 times, and maybe
    more.

    The first times I approached women weren't very smooth... I didn't get their
    numbers or whatever.

    The problem wasn't the lines I was using or the techniques... it was my
    delivery.

    I can walk up to any woman and open up a conversation with just about
    ANYTHING now... I have tried all kinds of crazy openers just to see if they'
    ll work.

    Now that I have some skills, things that didn't work before work for me now.

    So I recommend that if you like an idea, try it a bunch of times.

    If it doesn't work for you now, try it again in 3 months. Keep trying new
    ideas and new things until you find things that work TOGETHER. Remember, it'
    s a system of different things working together that will get you the result
    that you want.

    Now, some people have the problem that they won't try new things in the
    first place... they're just too set in their ways.

    I like to ALWAYS try new ways of doing things.

    If I'm driving home, I'll try to drive a new way. If I'm explaining
    something, I try explaining it two ways, if I'm ordering food, I try new
    things.

    This mindset of trying new things leads to an open mind, and an attitude of
    "Hey, here's how that might work... I'll try it" rather than one of "Here's
    what's wrong with that idea."

    If you find yourself arguing with every idea before you try it, then it's
    probably a good idea for you to start messing up your routines in life and
    start trying new things in all areas... it will help you in THIS area.


    OK, my fingers are tired.

    More about my new book: If you come to my website at www.doubleyourdating.com you can read about it. I've written a book that's
    about 90 pages long and three bonus booklets that are each about 10 pages.

    I've expanded all of my ideas and explained them in detail, and I've been
    getting some great feedback on it. If you want to learn more about the ideas
    you've just read, that's the place to do it.

    When you arrive at my page, enter your email so you can get my free email
    newsletter, too.

    My pen name for the book is David DeAngelo, so now you'll know that this is
    actually me in disguise (wait a minute, I'm in disguise now too! lol).

    Come visit.

    Thanks for all the great ideas, and I wish you well.

    Sisonpyh
     
  2. FGarcia1

    FGarcia1 Senior Don Juan

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    WHOA. Lots of info. Thanks much.

    ------------------
    [20/M/California]


    THE DJ BIBLE

    [This message has been edited by FGarcia1 (edited 07-13-2001).]
     
  3. Drew

    Drew Master Don Juan

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  4. DJ Monk

    DJ Monk Don Juan

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    Sisonpyh has got it all down!
    Excellent article.

    DJ Monk
     
  5. Ralfus

    Ralfus Master Don Juan

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    bump

    ------------------
    Ralfus' Home Page - Even if the counter only works once in awhile.
     
  6. Heart Of Stone

    Heart Of Stone Don Juan

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    39.95 for an e-book. Oh please!!! [​IMG]
     
  7. SoSuave.com

    SoSuave.com Administrator

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    Moving to Tips forum.
     
  8. Jeremy the Wicked

    Jeremy the Wicked Don Juan

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    I was surfing the old forum posts and I came across this one. I think u guys might find it useful (and interesting to see where David DeAngelo started).
    Enjoy.
     
  9. typical

    typical Master Don Juan

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    Mother fvcker .......... LOL
     
  10. MinisterOfLust

    MinisterOfLust Don Juan

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    Wow! That was David Deangelo.
     

    Confidence Is Everything When It Comes to Women!

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    But with confidence, meeting women, talking to women, dating and relationships with women become easy, fun, and enjoyable.

    If you are ready to develop powerful, unshakable confidence — not just with women but in everything you do — watch this free video from legendary pickup artist Eric Von Sydow.

    Develop Massive Confidence with Women - Watch Video!

  11. amoka

    amoka Master Don Juan

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    Great. I just ordered Helitzer's book. Gonna be interesting.
     

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