Shouts to my homies!

[DrBeard]

Yo!

Sendin' shouts out to my homeboys! Sorry I aint been around to give u my advice + help u out but ur favorite badboy Drbeard has been locked in jail for asaultin police officers!

I was out clubbin, mackin on some fine ass chicks and these punks came over + accused me of stealin their girls! I got in their faces and said "Fock off cos finders keeprs loosers weepers" and they were almost cryin and beggin for me not to steal their birds and I tell them "I do what I want when I want" and I told them to go and suck their own ****s!

They started getting fasty with me so I headbuted 1 of em in the nose and then elbowed the other one in the face and went crazy on their asses! Lucky for THEM the cops came in and stopped me from killin em!

They said I gotta go to jail and I said "ok pigs, but I gotta say goodbye to my chicks first". So I go over and start makin out with these 2 fit birds and start feeling the ones tits while the other is rubbin my ****. They r going crazy for me and want to do it right there but this police man comes and pulls me away and puts me in handcuffs. My girls r crying and begging for them to let me go and I get mad so I kicked the police man in the bollocks!

Then they're all comin at me with trunchons and tear gas and stuff and I'm taking em all on for ages but loads of em come and overpower me.

When I was in jail they said i was the toughest opponent they ever had! But I must do my time and so I did.

But now I am free! So gonna be hooking up with some hot chicks and gonna have me a boner fest!!

Word up!

Dr Beard

 

[Desdinova]

You da muthafukkin' man, Dr. B!

 

[Tomatoes]

Yo!

Sendin' shouts out to my homeboys! Sorry I aint been around to give u my advice + help u out but ur favorite badboy Drbeard has been locked in jail for asaultin police officers!

I was out clubbin, mackin on some fine ass chicks and these punks came over + accused me of stealin their girls! I got in their faces and said "Fock off cos finders keeprs loosers weepers" and they were almost cryin and beggin for me not to steal their birds and I tell them "I do what I want when I want" and I told them to go and suck their own ****s!

They started getting fasty with me so I headbuted 1 of em in the nose and then elbowed the other one in the face and went crazy on their asses! Lucky for THEM the cops came in and stopped me from killin em!

They said I gotta go to jail and I said "ok pigs, but I gotta say goodbye to my chicks first". So I go over and start makin out with these 2 fit birds and start feeling the ones tits while the other is rubbin my ****. They r going crazy for me and want to do it right there but this police man comes and pulls me away and puts me in handcuffs. My girls r crying and begging for them to let me go and I get mad so I kicked the police man in the bollocks!

Then they're all comin at me with trunchons and tear gas and stuff and I'm taking em all on for ages but loads of em come and overpower me.

When I was in jail they said i was the toughest opponent they ever had! But I must do my time and so I did.

But now I am free! So gonna be hooking up with some hot chicks and gonna have me a boner fest!!

Word up!

Dr Beard

Im sure thats how "ze ****" went down......You were caught mugging a granny really wernt you?

Whatever you do.....Dont "pop a cap in my ass"

 

[Fash]

Dude, are you for real???

I am almost certain that you are really just putting on the wigger act. Anyhow, getting into a fight and getting banged up over a set of HBs, (Which you didnt end up going home with) isn't anything to brag about.

By the way...

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/2667/drbeard5jx.jpg

 

[frivolousz21]

Dr. Beard- you are the MOVE!

 

[Desdinova]

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/2667/drbeard5jx.jpg

I never saw that one before! Either his head grew, or it swelled up.

 

[spider_007]

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/2667/drbeard5jx.jpg

I think he sh!t him self

 

[[S]alvatore]

Man you should become a comedian, you'd make millions.

 

[The Truth]

What a badass!!!!!!

I would travel across the world to see you in action just once!!

 

[cant think of a user name]

DrBeard said:
They said I gotta go to jail and I said "ok pigs, but I gotta say goodbye to my chicks first". So I go over and start makin out with these 2 fit birds and start feeling the ones tits while the other is rubbin my ****. They r going crazy for me and want to do it right there but this police man comes and pulls me away and puts me in handcuffs. My girls r crying and begging for them to let me go and I get mad so I kicked the police man in the bollocks!

Although DrBeard's legacy experienced a minor slump when he experimented with a different brand of humour during the end of 2005 and early 2006, his latest post "shouts to my homies" sees the 'birdman' returning to his roots and doing what he does best - literary excellence.

"Shouts to my homies" is mildly reminiscent of Beard's older posts, which sees our favourite Blackpool resident having sex in public and driving recklessly through the gates of some park, ultimately ending with police involvement and possible arrest.

Many have criticised his recurring themes as being too "repetitive" and "simple", yet in the opinion of most readers, it is this simplicity that is the essence of his genius. As one avid reader summed up: "DrBeard may not write in convoluted sentences or express a desire to explore the sociological implications of his experiences, but I still think his posts are lovely- or should I say - f0ckin' luvlay".

Highly recommended reading. 4 out of 5 stars.

 

[The Truth]

Just read loads of your other posts and haven't laughed so much for.....well for years probably!


Oh yeah a thumb up for the George mcfly backshot!

 

[RedPill]

Beard, you make Ghandi look like a child pornographer. Yo pimp skillz is unparalleled! You're operating on a whole different level... can't wait to hear the epilogue to these latest events. Hopefully you'll write a book someday. Much like women can't get enough of their trashy romance novels, I would definitely sit out on the beach reading about your legendary game.

 

[brucevangeorge]

Dude, are you for real???

I am almost certain that you are really just putting on the wigger act. Anyhow, getting into a fight and getting banged up over a set of HBs, (Which you didnt end up going home with) isn't anything to brag about.

By the way...

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/2667/drbeard5jx.jpg

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


That is SWEET!

Btw, props to Beard for another hillarious post. Can this guy keep getting any funnier by ragging on himself?

HAHAHAHA.

You should be a comedian man. A 3 foot midget who thinks he's a huge macho badass that pulls all the ladies. I would PAY to see that act. You could have your name in lights on Broadway!!! :cheer:

 

[DrBeard]

Why u dont take me serios? It is cos u are too scared to be like me and u think "ooh, he is so funny but really I am scared to admit he is right cos I aint got the balls to do that!"

OK u can laugh all u want but when I am out bumming hot chicks u r gonna be watching star trek and spanking yo monkey!

 

[IsiMan84]

Beard, you make Ghandi look like a child pornographer. Yo pimp skillz is unparalleled!

I was seriously laughing so hard tears were coming from my eyes. And that has never happened before so that means some really funny shít!

 

[DrBeard]

bump!

 

[ProDJ26]

ROTFLMAO! I have never heard of you Dr. Beard! lol But Man your ****ing cool