"Retired" reflections on marriage, hoes, and dating

[Von]

How can you marry someone without having lived with them?

They gave the virginity at marriage and moved in with you?

Church? Religious?

Curious, cause I had a extreme catholic girl virgin, 31 years old, from a poor - secluded family.

She's a great girl. Had all the qualities I was looking in a women

Except:
1) she would try to hide in the corner and seek to avoid any interactions
2) life resolved around the church (she kept crying or frame push about me "accepting Jesus" )
3) would seems to extrapolate and anything outside of "religious rightness" was seen... not in a good light.

My mistake were I got pushy on sex from the start... however she was interest and kept opening. While venting on her brothers and sisters who hate me now and dont understand why she kept coming back (she was telling them different stuff than what she was saying)

I was her first bf, first outside the family, first everything. We decided for now to part ways.

Noting my "mistakes" I know how to improve and I know myself.... However, I couldn't get my mind around "how can I marry someone if I didn't move in with her, since all I do is work and Study"

 

[zekko]

My buddy and I who are both married like to b!tch about how our wives annoy us. But really we realize the grass is greener on this side of the fence, for us

This is what a lot of the younger single guys don't understand. They hear married people complain about their spouse and assume they are all miserable betas. But it's just the nature of people to vent, it doesn't necessarily mean they're unhappy. Besides, the single guys complain about the women they date nonstop.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Hey guys. Havent posted here in a longgg time! I see a few familiar names but imagine many of the veterans have moved on and newbies have moved in. Maybe a couple times a year I pop back in for nostalgia. After all I spent 10 years posting on SS!!

We all find our way full-circle back to the spot where we began our journey. This is year thirteen for me and, though I don't make it 'round these here parts on the reg, it still pleases me to see some of the old guys coming back for their insight and growth.

I'm still happily married, and just wanted to share few reflections now that I've been retired from the game for a good 4+ years. No new wisdom, just a refreshment of all the things I learned that helped me be successful.

I just passed my five-year anniversary and I'm more in-love with her now than the day I asked her to marry me. But, marriage is hard fvcking work.

Fortunately, I'm not afraid to work.

The Golden Rule of all things Don Juan still interest level!! This never changes. Interested women call you back, text you back, never ignore you, and put YOU first. If you have to ask whether or not she is into you or respects your time--then the answer is no.

This is only a part of the Golden Rule. Maintaining a strong, leading, masculine frame-with an agenda- is the other half. My wife is extremely bright, strong-headed (to the point of being stubborn), takes no $hit, and she's the most driven woman I've ever known.

But, she observes and respects the decisions I make, as I do hers. I have a Karmic Law which we both abide: the Law of 51/49. The power in our relationship always leans to one side more than the other. Though the power exchange fluctuates, we both respect it and appreciate it as it keeps us focused on our own microcosm, rather than submit to negative influences brought in by hesitation and fear.

Every day I am thankful I am married to my wife. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. But I see many men who are downright miserable. I think the single biggest thing you can do to have a positive relationship outcome is to CHOOSE well. Choose a woman who consistently respects you and your time, your money, your feelings. Choose a woman who consistently makes you her #1 priority. Choose a woman who has as few past partners as possible, and one who has a pure, genuine heart. Choose a giver.

Sound advice.

Marriage in itself is not bad, but it is definitely not for everyone and in today's world I would err on the side of NOT getting married unless you have thoroughly vetted the girl (for at least 2 years) and have ZERO reservations about her character. Be brutally honest with yourself and step aside from your d!ck and your feelings.

It certainly isn't for the faint-of-heart, that's for damned sure. I don't agree with the two year lease, but to each their own. I'm not one to lease a car for two years just to make sure it's in decent order to purchase. My courtship with Mrs. Karma was eight months. Believe me, I drove the fvck out of her before I bought her. And she rides even better now!

Never be afraid to walk away from a woman who is treating you poorly.

One of the most powerful tools in a Man's utility belt is testicular fortitude. The ability to about-face when she's being difficult will keep her heart doing the pitter-patter but, more importantly, it'll maintain your transcendence to bull$hit. She wants that. She craves it. She wants to know that whatever tests she tosses at you, you can fling it away with a swipe of your hand without doing it in a disrespecting, childish, tantrum-laden manner.

 

[Desdinova]

I just passed my five-year anniversary and I'm more in-love with her now than the day I asked her to marry me. But, marriage is hard fvcking work.

Fortunately, I'm not afraid to work.

Nice to see you visit as well! I don't recall you getting married, but I'm glad to hear it's going well. That's not an easy feat in today's dating climate.

 

[Willie Naylor]

BUMP

Looks like OP isn't around anymore, but this is as good as it gets. Hall of Fame wisdom.

 

[bat soup]

Hey guys. Havent posted here in a longgg time! I see a few familiar names but imagine many of the veterans have moved on and newbies have moved in. Maybe a couple times a year I pop back in for nostalgia. After all I spent 10 years posting on SS!!

I see a lot of the same themes here year after year. The old adage is true--there is nothing new under the sun. Especially when it comes to women!

I'm still happily married, and just wanted to share few reflections now that I've been retired from the game for a good 4+ years. No new wisdom, just a refreshment of all the things I learned that helped me be successful.



The Golden Rule of all things Don Juan still interest level!! This never changes. Interested women call you back, text you back, never ignore you, and put YOU first. If you have to ask whether or not she is into you or respects your time--then the answer is no.

Every day I am thankful I am married to my wife. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. But I see many men who are downright miserable. I think the single biggest thing you can do to have a positive relationship outcome is to CHOOSE well. Choose a woman who consistently respects you and your time, your money, your feelings. Choose a woman who consistently makes you her #1 priority. Choose a woman who has as few past partners as possible, and one who has a pure, genuine heart. Choose a giver.

Secondary to choosing well is conducting yourself like a Man. Be the leader and make the big decisions, the hard decisions. When she is dithering on something (they all do), decide. If you are married or serious, ask her input and respect her input, but ultimately you need to pull the trigger. If she is always resisting you on this I would advise she is not marriage material.

Marriage in itself is not bad, but it is definitely not for everyone and in today's world I would err on the side of NOT getting married unless you have thoroughly vetted the girl (for at least 2 years) and have ZERO reservations about her character. Be brutally honest with yourself and step aside from your d!ck and your feelings.

Never be afraid to walk away from a relationship that has gone bad, or from a woman who is treating you poorly. Listen, pretty girls are a dime-a-dozen. They keep making more. And most of the time, the prettiest ones are the ones who treat you the worst. Their looks have floated them through life, combined with our absurd narcissistic culture. I've found this to be almost universally true with American women.

My wife and I dont have kids, by design. But women change when they have children, usually not to your benefit. It's not really good or bad, it's just nature. I see this everyday in my profession (family medicine). If you want kids, great. Just keep in mind you will no longer be her #1 once a baby is in the picture. You become more of a utility--dad, provider, home-fixer. I seen many women relegate their husband to second-class citizens. I'm not sure if you can predict this---but if having babies is a girl's #1 aspiration in life, chance are you are a vehicle for that.

Do I still think about other girls? Other girls naked, yeah. I'm a man. But I dont actively want to bang any of them. 1) because I've had tons of pvssy before and I know there's nothing new under the sun, and 2) because I know none of them will measure up to my wife, for ME. This is where my experience level has made me a more "mature" man, if you will.

At the end of the day, women are women! Even the BEST will annoy you, test you, argue with you, and avoid responsibility. Accept this. Part of being a Man is learning how to deal with their sh!t on the fly. My buddy and I who are both married like to b!tch about how our wives annoy us. But really we realize the grass is greener on this side of the fence, for us. Coincidentally we both married virgins with a good upbringing.

Dont over-analyze relationships and every interaction you have with women. When something is right, you wont need to talk yourself into it or have other people validate it. If you are having reservations about a girl or the way she is treating you, she aint the one bro. Game is not that complicated, it's really just about a few key principles.

It basically all comes down to making the approach and then assessing interest level and cooperation.

Most of the gamey nonsense and wierd techniques is just a bunch of BS.

 

[Reyaj]

It basically all comes down to making the approach and then assessing interest level and cooperation.

And most of this is predicated on whether she is attracted to your looks...

 

[bat soup]

And most of this is predicated on whether she is attracted to your looks...

Yes, but its not just looks. If you say or do the wrong thing and you can easily mess a situation up where a girl initially liked you. From experience you learn what to do and what not to do.

 

[Reyaj]

Yes, but its not just looks. If you say or do the wrong thing and you can easily mess a situation up where a girl initially liked you. From experience you learn what to do and what not to do.

Agreed. But initial attraction must be there.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

And most of this is predicated on whether she is attracted to your looks...

They are also attracted to personlity, social status and swag. So it's not necessarily a male model face.

 

[Reyaj]

They are also attracted to personlity, social status and swag. So it's not necessarily a male model face.

It could actually be a chubby face with scars... Different looks make different women interested. But whatever looks those are, that's what you need to get you foot in the door.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It could actually be a chubby face with scars... Different looks make different women interested. But whatever looks those are, that's what you need to get you foot in the door.

Sure could